#kess sometimes writes fic not meta

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Mini fic: study rewards

(A monster hybrid of several prompts including Kang and Saifah talking, study dates at Sailom’s house, and BE A LITTLE SEXY)

After almost twenty minutes of effort, chewing on the end of his pencil the entire time, lips so very pink, Kang slides over his worksheet. Normally Sailom could do this level of math in his head while carrying on a separate conversation, it’s that easy, but he has to force himself to concentrate enough to grade. He actually marks one question as incorrect and then needs to go back and recalculate, realizing Kang had been right all along. At the end, once he finally gets himself together, he scores Kang a respectable 18/20.

“Nicely done,” Sailom tells him. He clears his throat after, hearing the hoarseness in his voice.

Kang preens, looking at him with bright eyes. “What’s next? English?”

Whenever Kang does his English homework, he has a habit of mouthing all the words to himself. Normally, Sailom finds it cute. Right now, though, if Sailom has to watch Kang’s lips move for another minute longer, he honestly might have to walk out of the room. Without meaning to, Sailom realizes that he’s reached up and is tugging at the collar of his shirt, fanning air down his front.

At his silence, Kang’s face starts to fall. “No? Chemistry then?”

Even though he shouldn’t be, Sailom can’t help feeling charmed by Kang’s sheer hatred for Chemistry. It’s the only subject he’s had to keep his goals for Kang at just barely above failing. Once Sailom made his peace that he wouldn’t ask Kang to strive any higher, he found himself enjoying the way Kang’s forehead always creases when he tries to prepare himself for any science work.

They’ve been going almost three hours. The sun has just barely started to set. Sailom wouldn’t be wrong to give him a break. And as much as the idea of what he wants to ask is making him shy, he knows how Kang is going to be respond. If Kang wasn’t excited about this, Sailom would genuinely worry he’d fallen sick.

“You did so well,” Sailom begins. He finds himself falling into the voice he would use if explaining a lesson. Instantly he has Kang’s undivided attention. “I think you deserve a reward.”

“Yeah?” Kang asks. A beautiful smile spreads across his face — Sailom’s favorite kind, all white teeth and youthful joy.

They’ve played this game a few times, always with the same prize — a kiss to the cheek — although Sailom has been working closer to the corner of Kang’s mouth as the days go by. Kang leans forward in anticipation, turning his head to allow Sailom better access.

“Did I tell you Saifah is working the late shift?” Sailom asks instead of closing the gap between them.

Kang blinks, confused. One of his hands falls to the table as if he’s holding himself in place. “No?”

“He won’t be home until tomorrow morning,” Sailom says pointedly.

Kang glances down at their papers, brow creasing, like he’s worried Sailom will suggest some special test.

“We’re all alone tonight,” Sailom says, emphasizing every word.

That’s when it finally clicks.

“Oh!” Kang says. His eyes drop to Sailom’s mouth. “Oh,” he repeats, more faintly.

“Let’s go to my room,” Sailom tells him.

Outside of those quick cheek kisses, they haven’t kissed since that night in Korat. Not like this — one of Kang’s hands on his cheek, the other carding through Sailom’s hair. It feels like something getting set right, steadying him, even as he increasingly feels like he’s being lit on fire. Every time their lips press, each time their tongues meet, they’re burning away the dried out husks of the hurt and pain of last month.

They needed this Sailom realizes — they needed to be reminded exactly how special that night had been to them before everything went to hell.

He can’t get Kang’s clothes off fast enough. Kang isn’t being particularly helpful, either — his arms keep getting in the way. He makes this low, whining sound every time Sailom separates them to pull fabric away. But Sailom wins for sheer persistence. He strips away both their shirts, then tugs down Kang’s shorts, before he returns to kissing Kang.

One of Kang’s hands goes to his ribs, flexing there, as if he wants to keep going down but isn’t sure of his welcome. The other drops to his favorite spot against the curve of Sailom’s neck. The feeling of his fingers just barely pressing against Sailom’s throat mends the last vestiges of something Sailom hadn’t even realized still was broken.

I’m yours, he thinks, splaying his hands against Kang’s strong chest. As Kang kisses him with barely controlled desperation, Sailom completes the thought for the very first time — and you’re mine. They belong together, the wind and the windmill.

He tears his mouth away. “Help me with my shorts.” he urges.

Kang’s eyes fly open. He looks flushed and startled, wanting, but a little scared too.

“What are we doing?” he asks in a soft voice. He means, I thought we were just kissing? Kang has been painstakingly careful about their lines since he last draped a towel around Sailom’s shoulders in a sleezy love motel. Sailom loves him for it, and at the same time wants to erase the fear behind that consideration.

Sailom catches him by the wrist, tugging his hand lower, until it rests against the hem of Sailom’s shorts.

“We’re blowing each other’s minds,” he answers.

**

Some time later, when the first morning light is shining through his curtains, Sailom comes awake suddenly at the sound of voices just outside his bedroom door. He sits upright, heart racing as he remembers punches landing in soft, unprotected areas; about the acute fear of a burning iron inching ever closer to his face. Kang! he thinks.

And then he remembers that Kang is already here — that they’d fallen asleep after they made love, which means Kang spent the night — and the fear turns icy. This time he pictures the way the bruises mottled Kang’s skin after their beating in the bike garage.

“Kang,” he says with terror, twisting to reach across the mattress.

His fingers land on smooth, empty sheets. They’re still warm, some part of his brain catalogues, even as his breaths sharpen.

As he awakens further, he realizes he recognizes one of the voices. It’s Saifah, with his I’m screwing with you voice. The response that follows is unmistakably Kang.

Abruptly the fear takes on a completely new context. Sailom scrambles out of bed and to his feet. He goes to the doors, opening them just enough to be able to see out with one eye.

The first thing he sees is the full expanse of Kang’s bare back. Kang stands clad in only his boxers, with a bottle of lemon tea in his left hand — one of the several dozen he’d insisted on stocking once they started studying here. Facing him, further away from Sailom, Saifah contrasts him with how he’s covered almost from head to toe by his uniform. Kang must have woken thirsty and gone to get a drink in time to bump into him coming back from a shift.

Saifah has his hands on his hips and a faintly disapproving look on a face. Sailom knows him well enough to understand it’s mostly show. He wonders if Kang does, though. With everything that’s happened, the two of them have barely had the chance to interact. Most of what Kang knows about his brother is from Sailom himself.

“What are you doing here?” Saifah asks.

Sailom watches Kang psych himself up — how he takes a breath and stands straighter.

“I studied with Sailom,” Kang says, managing to sound entirely sincere. His legs look almost as naked as the top of him, especially where Sailom can see the strip of paler skin above the line his football shorts normally fall to. At the base of his neck, Sailom can faintly make out the edge of a red mark where he’d spent a minute or two too long teasing Kang.

“It looks like you came for something else from my brother,” Saifah says.

“I came for tutoring,” Kang says. Then, he bravely adds. “Then I stayed.”

“How long are you planning on staying now that you’ve gotten what you want?”

Saifah obviously doesn’t mean for this morning. A pause follows. The muscles in Kang’s shoulder tense, like he’s bracing himself. Sailom cringes. He starts to reach for the doorknob, wondering if he should go out into the hall and put a stop to this.

“The rest of my life,” Kang answers. Despite the hesitation, there isn’t an ounce of doubt in his voice.

That only makes Saifah’s frown deepen. “Be serious.”

“I am!” Kang says. “I would stop spinning without Sailom in my life.”

“Are you always this cheesy?” Saifah asks. He makes a fake retching sound.

“When it comes to your brother, yes.”

Sailom finds himself smiling as he goes back to bed and curls up on his side, pretending to be asleep. Some short time later, he feels Kang ease into bed beside him. Kang tucks himself in close, all that bare skin warm from the air outside. He slides an arm around Sailom’s stomach. Then, he presses the briefest of kisses to the back of Sailom’s head. It doesn’t take long after for Sailom to fall into a real doze.

#dangerous romance #kess sometimes writes fic not meta #kanghansailom #dangerous romance the series

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Mini fic: Wind & windmill tattoos

For @naomi-obsessions — I so deeply appreciate that you love the Critical Obsession podcast as much as I do and have shared your feedback with them! And based on this absolutely phenomenal post by @srnileforme (who also gets the credit for the image immediately below)

The week of a major conference at the university, Sailom walks away from his shifts at the coffee shop with hundreds of baht in tips from international visitors looking to get rid of their banknotes. The money burns a hole in his pocket during his rainy walk home. Even years later, even with his debts fully paid, he can’t turn off the voice in his head that tells him to save it for the end of the month. He has to argue with himself for a few minutes until the thought subsides — he doesn’t need to save it. Between his scholarship and his part time jobs, he has plenty stashed away.

What he really wants to do with it is use it for something nice for Kang. Their fourth anniversary is coming up and he knows from experience that Kang is going to go all out. It’s one of two days a year — his birthday being the second — that Kang has negotiated to be able to spoil him without protest. At an absolute minimum, Sailom can expect some expensive dinner, at least one new outfit, and a night in a five-star hotel. All of which he genuinely appreciates — and he knows Kang loves the time together.

But Sailom wants to … “beat” is probably not a good word to use when thinking about the person you love. He wants to win this year. He wants to do something so romantic Kang can’t possibly top it. It’s his turn.

As he passes under a tree, fat drops of water hit against the umbrella and the splattering sound makes him glance up. He stares at the windmill motif emblazoned overhead. In a brilliant flash, the idea comes to him. He smiles the entire rest of the way.

**

It takes some real finagling to avoid Kang seeing him shirtless for a week. Given Kang’s complete disregard for privacy, Sailom can’t risk showering around him. Or changing. Or just wearing a particularly nice shirt that Kang might want to take off him.

To be safe, Sailom invents a major test the morning of their of anniversary plans. He’s out the door every single day before sunrise and home late enough that Kang is usually asleep by the time he climbs into the bed. By the end of the week, Sailom is a month ahead in his work, so tired he can barely keep his eyes open, and desperately wanting to take a nap with Kang’s hand splayed across his chest.

All of that fades into the background at the way Kang looks at the tattoo like it’s the most precious thing he’s ever seen in his life. He has a huge smile on his face but his eyes have been brimming with tears since he first recognized the design now permanently marked below Sailom’s collarbone. Water threatens to spill over at any minute.

“I — you — that—“ Every time Kang tries to speak, he has to break off on a hitching breath.

Sailom starts laughing then, although he feels suddenly like crying too. He takes Kang’s hand and pulls it until his palm rests over Sailom’s heart, completely covering the windmill.

“If you ever doubt my love for you, just look here,” he begins. As he continues, his voice drops, losing all traces of amusement. It’s the most serious promise he’s ever made. “And know you have my entire heart.”

Kang starts crying in full then, the hardest Sailom has seen in a very long time. Sailom pulls him forward, wrapping him in a tight hug. He feels Kang’s wet nose brush against his collarbone.

“Can I get one too?” Kang finally asks, some long time later in a muffled, choked voice.

**

They don’t make it out to dinner that night. Kang spends what feels like hours kissing the skin around the ink until the skin is as pink and tingling as it was in the immediate aftermath of the appointment. Then, when Sailom is flushed and swearing at him, barely able to stand it anymore, he keeps going downwards.

((A few weeks later, catching glimpses of the inked lines of the wind above Kang’s heart when the deep vee of Kang’s shirt parts tantalizingly further, Sailom fully understands the feeling.))

((Want your own mini fic? Show me proof that you submitted a question or feedback to the Dangerous Romance Celebration hosted by @criticallyobs before midnight your time on this Thursday and I’ll tackle the Kang/Sailom prompt of your choosing))

#dangerous romance #kanghansailom #kess sometimes writes fic not meta

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Mini-fic: Jealous!Kang

For @thirstkanaphan — thank you for your very thoughtful questions for the Dangerous Romance celebration (and everything else you do!!)!! And yes, I am very bad at mini fics, thank you for asking, everyone!!

On his way back upright from a standing hamstring stretch, Kang glances forward, out of a long-ingrained habit, to look for Sailom in the stands. Two years into university, his boyfriend can’t always make his matches — classes and group projects increasingly have to take priority — but for the first time in at least three weeks, Sailom had said he thought he would be free today.

After a few seconds of scanning the bleachers, Kang finds him, sitting in the front row and his blood instantly goes hot. Because Sailom isn’t alone. There’s a player from the opposing team — the Engineering faculty team — talking to him. And Kang recognizes him. Tall, handsome, so very thoughtful First. Sailom’s peer mentor — now one of his closest friends in the faculty, always bringing him drinks and snacks, and offering to help check his work. He’s unquestionably made Sailom’s time at university a little easier. Kang still hates his guts.

His eyes narrow as he stares, watching First drop a casual, proprietary hand on Sailom’s shoulder. He finds himself taking a step forward, ready to close the gap of the field between them.

“Kanghan!” his coach barks. “You planning to join the huddle?”

Kang huffs a breath. He forces himself to look away; to turn and jog to meet his teammates. He takes satisfaction in hearing First get a similar chastisement.

**

Early in the third quarter, Kang gets his chance. He sees, as if in slow motion, the pass arcing to First. He’s able to speed up, forcibly knock First out of the way, sending him sprawling to the ground in the process, and then steal the ball. Since the Engineering team had been on the attack, they have to turn on their heels, buying him another essential second. Before anyone even realizes he has the ball, he’s over the halfway line.

Kang feels the familiar, joyous rush of the open pitch as he speeds towards the goal. It’s almost easy to fake, to send the keeper sprawling, and bury it in the corner of the net. The sound of Sailom’s voice cheering for him carries loudest of all.

**

After the final whistle, he makes an immediate run for the bleachers. Sailom stands to wait for him, arms outstretched. But instead of barreling into him for a hug, Kang slows. He reaches to take Sailom by the face with both hands — kisses him long and slow. The fabric of his jersey goes tight in the clench of Sailom’s fingers.

“What was that for?” Sailom asks when he finally pulls away, many long seconds later. His lips look beautifully pink — the color of a Korat sunset.

Kang doesn’t turn and look pointedly in the direction of the Engineering team . . . no matter how much he wants to.

“I missed you today,” he says instead. Which is true. Sailom had been out the door ridiculously early to finish some group project.

“You have to shower before we have dinner,” Sailom tells him. “You stink.”

But the flush of pleasure on his cheeks gives him away.

((Want your own mini fic? Show me proof that you submitted a question or feedback to the Dangerous Romance Celebration hosted by @criticallyobs before midnight your time on this Thursday and I’ll tackle the Kang/Sailom prompt of your choosing))

#kanghansailom #dangerous romance #kess sometimes writes fic not meta

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Mini Fic: America

Kang finds out from Pimfah, who’s back in Bangkok for the week to see her family. She meets him at a cafe near the university for tea and slices of cake packed with jam and fresh strawberries. They find seats outside, where the sun is warm on his face. He’d been up late the night before, studying after his faculty football team practice. At first, he struggles to force himself to fully pay attention to her stories about exploring London — all the new restaurants she’s tried, the shops, the museums. Mostly, he tracks how much she’s smiling, and tries to hum at the appropriate times to show he’s listening.

Then, she says “Sailom” and it’s like everything snaps into immediate, sharp clarity. Suddenly her voice is the only thing he can focus on — even the sound of the traffic on the neighboring streets subsides. He sits up straighter, pushing his cup to the side.

“What was that?”

Pimfah raises an eyebrow at him. She doesn’t need to speak for him to know she wants to ask, ‘Weren’t you listening?’. Instead, she repeats herself, slowing down her words in a way that’s almost embarrassingly familiar.

“Why hasn’t Sailom accepted the fellowship yet?”

Okay, yes, that had been the word that confused Kang.

“What fellowship?” he asks.

**

The long wait for Sailom to get out of class is torture. Kang thinks he covers more distance pacing back and forth across the apartment than he usually does running laps at practice. By the time he finally grows tired, he can’t make himself read. He just sits on the edge of their bed, kicking his legs while he watches the door.

At the first sound of a key being inserted into the lock, he jumps to his feet. He feels like he’s going to vibrate out of his skin. Has it always taken this long for Sailom to undo the deadbolt? His heart thumps in his chest as he watches for Sailom to push the door open.

When finally he steps inside, Sailom looks the same he usually does on weekdays — a little tired after a long day of classes, but handsome in his white button down and blue workshop shirt. For a few seconds, he doesn’t seem to realize Kang is home — which is fair, because technically Kang is supposed to be in a lecture right now. He drops his backpack on the ground just inside the door, stretches, arching his back, then continues further inside to set his keys on the kitchen island. Only then does he glance up and do a double-take.

“Did your class get cancelled?” Sailom asks. Before Kang can answer, Sailom steps forward to get a closer look at his face. His brow furrows before he adds, “What’s wrong?”

“Why didn’t you tell me you got offered a scholarship to study in America?” Kang asks. He barely recognizes his own voice.

They’ve been so good for years now. He hadn’t realized Sailom could still make him feel like this — like an outsider in their shared relationship; like he isn’t wanted or needed in Sailom’s life. For hours now, he’s been alternating between wanting to cry and fighting the urge to push all the books off his desk in one rough motion. Every thirty minutes or so, he’s had to remind himself that Sailom wouldn’t ever do something like move to America and never speak to him again. This morning, at least, he would have believed that absolutely.

As good as Sailom is at hiding his feelings, Kang knows him well enough to see the way he stills; the muscle that tics in his cheek. For anyone else, it would be the equivalent of a full flinch. It only further proves that Sailom hadn’t expected him to learn about this.

“Did Nubdao tell you?” Sailom guesses. He sounds even more tired than the puffy skin underneath his eyes suggests.

“That doesn’t matter!” Kang says, voice rising. “Why didn’t I find out from you?”

Sailom’s gaze falls to the floor. His shoulders hunch as he folds on himself the way he always does when he’s bracing to be hurt. Which is especially confusing because he’s the one hurting Kang.

“Because I’m going to turn it down,” Sailom says. “And I didn’t want you to convince me not to.”

Of everything he could have said, that would’ve been the last thing Kang expected. The restless vibration of his limbs abruptly ceases and the back of his foot hits the bed frame with a thump.

“What?” he asks.

“I can’t go to America for a year,” Sailom says.

Now Kang feels angry in a completely different way. “Is the scholarship not enough? If it’s about money, I can —“

“Kanghan,” Sailom warns, although his voice stays soft.

Kang abandons that track.

“Do you not want to go?” he asks instead.

He watches Sailom take a deep breath. Then, Sailom looks up again. The unmistakable sadness in his eyes makes a knot clench tightly in Kang’s gut.

After a long pause, Sailom says, “I do.”

Sometimes, Kang truly wishes he could shake an answer out of his boyfriend. He wants to wrestle Sailom down to the bed and force him to admit what he’s thinking.

“Then why are you saying no?” he asks.

For some reason, that question causes something like hurt to flash across Sailom’s face. But for how quickly he’s able to mask it, Kang hadn’t missed that glimpse of what rests underneath his neutral expression.

Sailom takes a deep breath. Then he admits, “Because I don’t want to be away from you for a year.”

After that he abruptly stops trying to control his face and stares defiantly at Kang, as if daring him to . . .

Daring him to what? Kang can’t begin to figure out what Sailom thinks he’s going to say here. They’re clearly running on completely different tracks.

“I’d go with you,” he says.

To him, that had been obvious — the only possible scenario where Sailom could go to America and Kang wouldn’t completely lose his mind — but at the words, Sailom shoots him a quick vulnerable look, eyes soft and dark under his lashes.

“But you’re doing so well in your program,” Sailom protests. “And you love your team.”

Kang shrugs. “They’ll be here in a year.”

“Kang,” Sailom says. “I can’t ask you to —“

“You’re not asking,” Kang says. If anything, this has only proved that Sailom would rather die than ask for something that would make him happy. “I’m offering.”

“But your family —“ Sailom begins.

“Will be excited you’re introducing me to a new culture,” Kang tells.

In truth, he thinks Grandma would box his ears if he let Sailom go off by himself for an entire year. He can hear her now warning him about leaving “her grandson” alone without anyone to make sure he’s eating enough.

That strikes Sailom unusually speechless. He gives Kang another glancing, shy look.

Before he can think of another protest, Kang switches languages. “We can practice our English.”

It’s been a year or two since he last spoke it aloud. He sounds noticeably rusty. But it makes a smile twitch at the corner of Sailom’s mouth even as he winces at some mispronunciation.

“You really want to?” Sailom asks.

“Yes!” Kang says.

Only then does the full extent of the tension Sailom had been carrying become apparent, because it evaporates instantly, leaving him looking so very young and happy as he grins at Kang.

“We’re going to America?” he checks, one final time.

“Together,” Kang says.

#kanghansailom #dangerous romance #kess sometimes writes fic not meta

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Alternate universe I just thought of that made me cry so of course I’m inflicting it on all of you (under a cut because it contains descriptions of injury that go a bit beyond what we see in canon):

In that hospital room, Name doesn’t enter in time and Sailom gets shot

Unlike for Kang, the bullet catches him square in the back; it hits him somewhere pretty catastrophic (like a lung, maybe? But also somewhere that he could get treatment and one day be okay again)

Sailom collapses to the ground and falls unconscious; he’s bleeding heavily, it’s pooling out from underneath him

DR briefly lets the scene play out in full chaos and noise — the police finally coming in to arrest the shooter; Kang falling to his knees, screaming; his hands getting covered in blood as he tries to press Sailom’s wound; tears flowing

Then, everything abruptly cuts. Sailom suddenly finds himself standing by a lake. It’s a beautiful sunny day. A light breeze ruffles his hair. He’s in the white shirt Kang bought him and loose, flowing pants. In the background is a small red windmill (like in the Here With You music video). He looks around, frowning a little. “Where am I?” He wonders

“I never thought I’d get to meet you,” says a woman’s voice from behind him

Sailom spins around to see a beautiful woman in her forties with dark hair to her shoulders and a flowing white dress

He gives a little bow. “Hi ma’am,” he says. “Can you tell me where I am?”

”You’re in between the present and the end,” she says. “At a place where if you step forward you can never go back.”

Sailom nods thoughtfully, then pulls a face. “Huh?” he asks. Then he looks at her a second time, more closely. Something dark passes over his face.

”I never thought I’d get to meet you,” she says. “I’ve been so grateful to you.”

Sailom’s confusion only deepens. “May I ask who you are?”

”You’ve changed my Krittin’s life,” she tells him.

The scene cuts back to the hospital where Kang is stopped from following a gurney through double doors to an operating room. The noise hits like a tidal wave. Him screaming “no” and “please” and “Sailom”

Back at the peaceful lakeside, Sailom goes still. He mouths ‘my Krittin’. Then, very slow and soft, he says, “You’re Kang’s mom, aren’t you?”

”You’ve done so much for him,” she tells him. She takes several steps forward. Lays a hand on his cheek. “You’ve loved him when I couldn’t. Made him into the man I always knew he could be.”

Sailom smiles at those words but his eyes are sad. A tear falls down his other cheek, curling under his chin.

”I spent so long worrying about his future but I can rest easy knowing he has you,” she says.

”He misses you every day,” Sailom says. His voice comes out wet. “He’s told me so many stories about you.”

Her voice goes firm. “I don’t want him to miss you. He needs you to fight.”

”What?” Sailom asks. “Fight what?”

“It’s going to be hard, but no matter what, don’t step forward. Stay grounded in the present. In your love. Can you do that?”

”I’d do anything for Kang,” Sailom says earnestly.

She leans in to kiss his forehead

The scene pans away from them to a broader scene of the lake. Then it goes even further. The viewer realizes it’s a framed photo above a bed. In the bed, Sailom rests, hooked up to several machines.

Kang is sleeping with his head pillowed on the edge of the cot. He has one of Sailom’s hands clasped in his.

Gradually, Sailom blinks awake. He looks around the room, frowning, then down at Kang. “Kanghan,” he says in a raspy voice.

Kang jerks awake, instantly. He looks dreadfully pale, with pronounced dark circles under his eyes but his face lights up when he sees Sailom. They share a beautiful smile.

Later, Kang sneaks into the bed, carefully tucking himself against Sailom’s uninjured side. He keeps pressing kisses to Sailom’s temple, to his hair, and to his cheek.

In the wake of one of those kisses, Sailom frowns as if remembering something. He gets lost staring into space.

”What’s wrong?” Kang asks, visibly terrified.

”Your mom loves you very much,” Sailom tells him. As Kang’s mouth falls open, moving soundlessly, he adds, “And I love you. More than anything.”

#dangerous romance #You’ll probably be able to tell I was in first responder fandom before this!! #Kess sometimes writes fic not meta

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

“Mini” fic: Kang and the terrible, horrible, no good, absolutely perfect day

No one asked for this, it’s entirely self-indulgent because I’ve been obsessed for days with the thought of how Kang would propose. (This isn’t my number one headcanon — which is that Kang would plan an elaborate day but Sailom would figure it out and beat him to the proposal two seconds before Kang could — but Sailom has already gotten to be the competitive romantic asshole this week so it’s Kang’s turn)

The travel agent who convinced him that horseback rides are romantic would need to be fired immediately upon his return to Bangkok, Kang decides two hours in. He’s hot. His legs hurt. He’s probably dying of thirst, because every time he tries to drink out of his bottle, water splashes down the front of his shirt. This is the closest to torture he’s ever willingly subjected himself to.

At least Sailom looks happy. He’s been smiling out at the views of mountains surrounding them since they started, occasionally pointing out a glimmer of water in the distance.

The views long ago stopped being interesting to Kang. The only thing keeping him going is the thought of what will be waiting at the top of this mountain for them — a surprise picnic, with as many of Sailom’s favorite foods as he thought might keep in the heat, to be washed down with a bottle of 2016 vintage Dom Perignon. The champagne seems a little presumptuous given he has yet to ask the question, but he feels as confident that he could be that Sailom will say “yes”. He really freaking hopes Sailom says yes.

A bird comes tearing out of the underbrush in a furious blur of yellow and orange. Kang’s horse startles at the sight. He isn’t ready — he’d barely been holding the reins while he got lost in picturing Sailom’s reaction — and the motion sends him flying. He hits the ground hard enough to knock all the air out of his lungs. The arm he’d landed on burns with the scrape of dozens of tiny rocks.

“Kanghan!” Sailom yells.

It takes him a few minutes to dismount, but he’s at Kang’s side before Kang manages to clear all of the spots out of his eyes. Kang feels Sailom’s fingers press gently against his elbow.

“Are you okay?” Sailom asks, sounding frantic.

“I’m okay,” Kang grits out. He starts to try and sit up, only for Sailom to move a hand to his chest to stop him.

“You’re bleeding,” Sailom tells him.

His eyes are so big and so very dark with concern. His lips have gone flat, colorless where they’re pressed together.

“I’m okay,” Kang repeats, trying to convince himself as much as anything. He glances down to see not one, but four or five different scrapes marring the skin between his elbow and his wrist.

“I have some bandages in my—“ Sailom begins.

“Let’s get to the top,” Kang insists. He thinks longingly of stretching out on the blanket. Of a cool pitcher of water. Of maybe feeding each other some chilled grapes — feeling the press of Sailom’s fingertips at his lips. “We’re almost there.”

Sailom frowns at him. “Kang.”

“Please,” Kang says. Sailom is welcome to spend as much time as he likes tending to Kang’s wounds once he’s wearing Kang’s ring on his finger. “We’re almost there.”

Sailom reluctantly agrees, but he insists on taking up the rear for the rest of the ride.

Which means Kang is first to crest over the top of the mountain. He’s first to see the pristine open area, with its sweeping views. How empty it is. How there isn’t a fucking picnic set up anywhere in site.

“What?” he demands. He scrabbles to dig his phone out of the little backpack he’d donned for this trip. The screen shows an ominous NO SIGNAL.

Kang jumps down to the ground, feeling a sharp throbbing in his arm in the process. He looks around wildly, as if he might be missing something, somehow on this tiny plot of land. He paces a lap, looking down over the edges, on some frantic hope everything might have blown over — caught on some branch. There’s nothing.

“What’s wrong?” Sailom calls.

Kang ignores him as fury rises inside him. This had taken weeks of planning. He’d called three times this week to make sure everything would be here. His entire plan had hinged on having this picnic. Today was supposed to be the day he finally proposed to Sailom. Now, he’s going to have wait. And who knows when he’ll get another chance with both their work schedules.

He kicks at a rock on the ground, sending it flying. The motion reveals another stabbing pain in the hip he’d landed on. Kang swears loudly but stubbornly kicks again.

After a few seconds of that, angry tears threaten to spill over. He lifts his hand to pinch at the bridge of his nose.

Suddenly Sailom is there, carefully pulling down his arms. Kang blinks against the influx of bright light to see him standing close, hair a sweaty, tousled mess and cheeks flushed a dark pink. He’s the prettiest person Kang has ever met, he thinks a little hysterically.

“What’s wrong?” Sailom asks, although it comes out more a gentle order than a question.

“There’s no champagne,” Kang tells him.

Sailom clearly has to bite down against a laugh. He removes one of the hands he has around Kang’s wrist to card his fingers against his scalp. Kang can’t help tilting his head into the touch. “Did you hit your head when you fell?”

“No,” Kang protests.

“Will you let me look at your arm now?” Sailom asks. He shakes his head at Kang with unmistakable fondness.

Kang holds it out dutifully. He feels the tentative press of Sailom’s fingers — sees him carefully adjust Kang’s forearm to better meet the light.

When their gazes next meet, it feels a little like falling again. Kang goes breathless in the face of the love and care he sees in every fragment of color in Sailom’s eyes.

“We’re going to have to clean these when we get back to the hotel,” Sailom tells him.

The final traces of anger deflate as quickly as they’d come. At once, Kang feels almost shy.

“Okay,” he says quietly.

Sailom quirks an eyebrow at him. “No joke about taking a bath together. Are you sure you—“

“Will you marry me?” Kang interrupts. He doesn’t consciously decide to say the words. They just come rushing out of him, in a torrent as strong as the waterfall they’d seen at the start of this terrible ride.

The question strikes Sailom visibly speechless. He goes entirely still, except for the quick bob of his throat as he swallows.

Kang feels compelled to fill the silence, but the entire speech he’d planned has gone flying out of his head so he finds himself babbling stupidly. “I know we’re going to buy a house together. I know we have our tattoos, and those are more lasting than a ring. And I don’t even really know what would be different, but I love you so much and — “

This time, Sailom interrupts him. “Yes.”

“Yes?” Kang repeats incredulously.

“Yes!” Sailom says.

Kang finally processes the enormous smile splitting Sailom’s face, but he doesn’t have long to enjoy it. Sailom uses his grip on Kang’s wrist to pull him forward into a kiss.

(Kang spends the entire ride down watching the way the sun glints off the metal on Sailom’s finger as he holds the rein. This time, he enjoys the trip a whole lot more)

((And I wholeheartedly second @godamnarmsrace headcanon that Kang would have had something custom made, and it would probably be something like this ring that spins!))

((Want your own mini fic? Show me proof that you submitted a question or feedback to the Dangerous Romance Celebration hosted by @criticallyobs before midnight your time on this Thursday and I’ll tackle the Kang/Sailom prompt of your choosing))

#Kess sometimes writes fic not meta #kanghansailom #dangerous romance

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Mini-fic: Kang POV of injury tending

(for @godamnarmsrace who basically ghost wrote this in a voice message)

No matter how hard he concentrates, Kang’s hand shakes, making the qtip jerk at an awkward angle, hitting against the angry red wound on Sailom’s knee. He hears Sailom suck in a sharp breath, swearing.

Kang can’t stand to look at him. He has to keep his eyes downcast, focused on the task at hand so that he bear to keep going. This cut is his fault — a glaring reminder of his failure to protect Sailom. If he’d been watching more closely, faster to arrive, Sailom never would have gotten hurt in the first place.

Even as Kang manages to steady his hand, Sailom jerks away with another sound of protest. “Ouch!”

“Be still,” Kang tells him. He barely recognizes his own voice, it comes out so gentle.

Without consciously deciding to, he reaches forward, grasping Sailom by the thigh to haul him close again. Sailom’s bare skin is warm and soft under his touch. Kang abruptly remembers another day, what feels like years ago now — Sailom’s skin so hot under his palm in the art classroom. Of Sailom, laying feverish on his tiny, rickety sofa, clasping Kang by the arm. It’s a good reminder that if he doesn’t do his job now, this wound could get infected.

There’s too much distance between them already. If Sailom gets sick again, Kang might not be able to help him this time. He might not even know. At least not until it’s too late.

His breath catches at the thought. He can’t stop himself from finally glancing up then, taking in the sight of Sailom in front of him, glaring at him, full of life. That fierce look settles something in him even as he has to look away again, terrified of what his own face might be doing. Right now this task is the only thing that matters. He has to do this right — for Sailom. To be extra safe, he dabs on an additional coat of the antibiotic before he makes himself release the gentle grip he has on the side of Sailom’s leg.

((Want your own mini fic? Show me proof that you submitted a question or feedback to the Dangerous Romance Celebration hosted by @criticallyobs before midnight on Thursday and I’ll tackle the Kang/Sailom prompt of your choosing))

#Kess sometimes writes fic not meta #kanghansailom #dangerous romance

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Mini-fic: Jealous SAILOM

For @dramabiscuit — thank you for your great question for the Dangerous Romance celebration and also every time you’ve ever made me cry in your tags!

The fundraiser for Kang’s charity is being held in the ‘Grand Ballroom’ of one of the nicest hotels in Bangkok. Over the years, Kang has taken him to some fancy hotels, but this one blows all of them out of the water for sheer opulence. Kang had gotten it donated, though — purely based on his own proposal, without pulling any strings. Since Kang’s father and grandmother had insisted on being allowed to invite guests to this event, that had given him one thing he could truly feel proud of.

Sailom thinks he isn’t giving himself nearly enough credit — Kang has almost single-handedly planned most of the details of this, from booking the musical act, to inviting speakers, to choosing the catering. He’s been working nonstop for months, on top of his coaching duties.

And Sailom is going to reward his boyfriend’s efforts by being over an hour late. He rushes through the hotel lobby, up a staircase, and finally pushes through double doors into the venue. It’s packed with what has to be hundreds of people, all dressed in formalwear — suits like his own, or floor length dresses. Between the conversation and the music, the noise is deafening.

Somehow, in the midst of all of it, he finds Kang easily, looking handsome in a black tuxedo with his head thrown back on a laugh. A part of Sailom must have been drawn to him, a magnet compelled. At the sight, he finds himself stopped dead in his tracks, unable to continue forwards. Some part of him feels all of 17 again, watching Kang hook his lock onto Pimfah’s while his heart shatters in his chest.

Standing across from Kang is one of the most beautiful women Sailom has ever seen. She’s wearing a deep purple gown with a deep vee in the chest and cut-outs along the sides underneath her ribs. Every few seconds, she puts a hand on Kang’s arm to punctuate some point. As Sailom stares helplessly, she tosses back her long dark hair. And Kang is giving her his complete and undivided attention, looking like he’s having the most interesting conversation in the world.

A part of Sailom wants to turn and run. He hears a distant voice, long suppressed, say ‘you always knew he’d get bored of you eventually’. All he can do is wait a second — let himself feel it. Then, he takes a deep breath.

He reminds himself that he’s been together with Kang for six years now. That they live together. That Kang tells him he loves him every single day, if not multiple times a day. He thinks if Kang knew Sailom was feeling this way, he might genuinely cry.

That all helps him stay grounded; stay present in the room. But he still wants to rip that woman’s hand off Kang’s arm and tell her to go as far away as possible. He wonders what Kang would do in this situation if their positions were reversed.

Based on past experience, Kang would already be at his side. He’d probably make a show of dropping an arm around Sailom’s shoulders — glaring daggers at the offending flirt. All of which, Sailom would pretend to roll his eyes at, while secretly thrilling over.

Sailom finds a pleasant smile as he crosses the ballroom floor. He doesn’t throw an arm around Kang, but he does put a hand to his elbow — in the same spot the woman kept touching — and leaves it there.

“Hey,” he says in a low voice.

Kang looks to him immediately. His face lights up in a way that puts his previous smile to shame.

“There you are!” he says. “Sailom, this is Pannin. Pannin, this is my boyfriend Sailom.”

“I feel like I already know you,” the woman says, immediately turning her focus to Sailom. “Kang says you were kept late on a project?”

“Yes,” Sailom says. He feels his smile become more genuine. “I’m an automotive engineer. We’re on a big deadline to release a new model.”

“Amazing,” she says.

“Pannin owns this hotel,” Kang explains. “And she’s married to —“ he says a name Sailom doesn’t recognize. At Sailom’s confused frown, he adds, “He plays for the Thai National Team.”

A one-two punch, Sailom realizes immediately. One of the people in the room most responsible for making this event happen, who could also facilitate an incredible guest coach for one of Kang’s summer camps. He shares a quick glance with Kang, nodding just barely in acknowledgement. I’m on it, he promises with his eyes.

“How did you get started in the hotel business?” he asks Pannin.

#Kess sometimes writes fic not meta #dangerous romance

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

(Not so) Mini fic: the feelings conversation we didn’t get to see

For @larimeme.

The stars overhead are bright, the air a pleasant temperature now that a light breeze and the darkness have carried away the day’s heat. Sailom stretches his legs and allows himself to recline further, until his back just barely comes to rest against the arm Kang has draped along the bench. It’s too dark for any more studying — their books have been resting by their feet for who knows how long now — but neither of them have made a move to go inside. The height of the lush garden surrounding them, along with the low humming of bugs, combine to make the space feel wholly theirs.

Like he’d hoped, Kang immediately shifts, scooting closer until there’s barely a spot down to their ankles where they aren’t touching. His hand curls around Sailom’s shoulder, fingers pressing in.

“Clingy,” Sailom says. He has to bite his lip against the smile that threatens.

“I have a question,” Kang says. He sounds — not nervous exactly, but something about his tone makes Sailom take notice.

“Hm?”

“When did you … start liking me?” Kang asks.

The question is enough to send a wave of heat to Sailom’s cheeks. He thinks about seeing Kang in line for smoothies, beautiful and cold and obnoxious — and completely oblivious to Sailom’s existence. He remembers stepping off the bus and watching Kang pull up on his motorbike — the way he’d pull his helmet off and his hair would fall back to his forehead a tangled mess before he ran his fingers through it. And he doesn’t think he’ll ever forget watching Kang play pickup football on hot day — how Kang lifted his shirt to wipe his face, revealing all the lean muscles of his stomach …

“A while,” Sailom answers, firmly cutting off that line of thought.

Kang immediately perks, tilting his head to look at him more directly. “Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“How long is that?” Kang asks. The pleasure in his voice has changed it, made it go softer, and Sailom feels it like a physical touch to his skin.

“A long time,” he admits.

“Sailom,” Kang protests.

Sailom has to steal a glance at him. Even in the low light, those eyes are a weapon; impossible to say no to.

“Since before this year,” he admits. He feels the words land more than he sees Kang react. After a pause, Kang’s fingers clench against Sailom’s upper arm. Kang’s leg jumps in a nervous motion.

“Since before I …” Kang can’t finish the thought.

Another wave of memories flash through Sailom’s mind: Kang sneering at him, shoving him, leaning in close, his fingers deftly undoing buttons. For an instant, the wave of disappointment, fury, and arousal is as strong as it had been back then, knocking all of the breath out of his lungs.

“Yes,” Sailom says. Maybe a few months from now, if Kang hasn’t gotten tired of him yet, he’ll be ready to talk about it that time further. Right now he doesn’t want to do anything to ruin this fragile, wonderful bubble surrounding them.

Then he hesitates, remembering something he’s been wanting to know. Kang asked first, he reminds himself.

“What about you?” Sailom asks, fiercely trying to sound indifferent. “When did you stop liking Pimfah and start liking me?”

Another pause follows as Kang clearly thinks through his answer. Sailom mostly fails at being patient.

“I don’t think I ever liked Pimfah,” Kang says.

“But —“ Sailom starts.

“I liked the idea of being with her,” Kang continues, and Sailom goes quiet. “I liked the idea of how happy my dad would be. How easy that would be.”

He falls quiet and Sailom makes a low humming sound, urging him to continue.

“The way I feel about you was — still is — a little terrifying,” Kang says.

Sailom has to swallow around a growing knot in his throat. “Why?”

“Because I’ve never felt like this before,” Kang says, voice serious.

The sincerity of the words makes Sailom’s chest go tight. He wants to turn and bury his increasingly hot face against Kang’s chest. But he doesn’t quite dare.

Then Kang clears his throat. He leans in closer, hair brushing Sailom’s temple. Sailom has to fight the instinctive shiver that follows at the idea of Kang’s lips meeting his cheek. Kang stops just shy of his skin, though, inhaling sharply.

It startles a laugh out of Sailom. When he glances over at Kang, he can see the curl of his smile.

Kang lifts his arm from around Sailom and holds it out in offering. “Should we go inside?”

Sailom takes it.

((Want your own mini fic? Show me proof that you submitted a question or feedback to the Dangerous Romance Celebration hosted by @criticallyobs before midnight your time on this Thursday and I’ll tackle the Kang/Sailom prompt of your choosing))

#Kess sometimes writes fic not meta #kanghansailom #dangerous romance

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

So ... some of you may recall I got tipsy on NYE and wrote a thing.

After further discussions with @isthisokey, I became convinced this story wasn't complete until they got to actually kiss! The full story is now linked below, including a new second part.

#kess sometimes writes fic not meta #kess writes PC fic #This is probably going to become a series that I unseriously call Sekretly Dating #involving such shenanigans as backstage kissing post mic flirting #i would have said booking adjoining hotel rooms but .... #family vacations together #whatever inspires me #or you convince me to be inspired by

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Mini Fic: Kang POV of Episode 5

This is so so so overdue to @luerai. Rain, thank you for your patience and for the prompt!!

As the lizard clings to his shoulder, Kang tries to remain as still as possible. He barely dares to breathe, not sure if he’s more worried he might do something to startle it into biting him — is that what lizards do? Can they bite? Or do they scratch? — or about dropping it; hurting it somehow. The crowd of people surrounding him only makes it worse. If Kang does something wrong, they’re all going to see. They’re going to laugh at him.

Sailom can probably tell him all about lizards. Kang’s a little in awe of how much Sailom seems to know about everything. He has yet to ask Sailom a question that Sailom hasn’t been able to answer; often talking for several minutes on end, completely from memory. Even though he rarely understands what Sailom is saying, those are some of Kang’s favorite moments during tutoring — when Sailom sits up straighter and his eyes light up with excitement. How his voice changes as he starts reciting facts and his hands move in illustration.

Kang wishes Sailom were here to see this now. Would he be impressed? Would he tell Kang how brav—

No. Kang immediately cuts off that line of thought. The entire point of today has been to Not Think About Sailom. He’d sent Sailom off to the engineering faculty for a reason — to make some space to try and get himself together, however hard that’s proven. Whenever Sailom is nearby, it’s like everything in Kang’s brain goes to static. If he’s with Sailom, all that seems to matter is keeping his complete attention on Kang. Those times, all Kang wants to do is touch; to keep him close.

And that has to stop. From now on, Kang is determined to focus on Pimfah — like he’s supposed to. He’s been meant to like her since he was seven and his parents first invited her family over for dinner. His dad has expected them to end up together since the very first time they sat together to play in the living room while the adults smiled at them from the kitchen. Being with Pimfah is one of the only things his dad has asked of him since his mom died. Kang has to be able to find a way to do that for him.

Hence why he’s standing here, trying to impress her by holding a lizard on his shoulder, while definitely not thinking about Sailom at all.

… a lizard that has apparently pooped all over one of his favorite sweaters. Shit.

##

Kang emerges from the empty classroom he’d ducked into to change, face burning with humiliation, to immediately recognize Sailom’s voice calling, “Hey!”

It only makes Kang feel more annoyed that his first, most instinctive reaction, is to be happy to see him. It’s been hours since they were last together. He hates that he’s relieved to finally have Sailom beside him again — frustrated at his hope that Sailom can help show him around, tell him where to go next; that his presence might help calm some small part of the churning mass of confusion inside Kang.

Even more irritating is the idea that Sailom is seeing him in this stupid pink t-shirt. And that the idea of Sailom seeing him wear it bothers Kang at all.

Kang tries to leave — to storm home, where he can at least be alone in the comfort of his room — only for Sailom to reach out to pull him back. The tight grip of his fingers around Kang’s wrist does something funny to Kang’s stomach.

“You’ve only seen a handful of faculties,” Sailom tells him.

It’s clear how determined he is to remedy that. Kang knows him well enough understand that Sailom will walk him around to every single one if he has to. He won’t stop until Kang tells him exactly where he wants to study.

Kang steals a glance at him. In the process, he realizes how wrong he’d been wrong before — because the biggest indignity of this entire day is not the lizard, or the loss of his sweater. No, it’s how nice Sailom looks wearing his Open House shirt. How it highlights the bit of a flush on his cheeks from the heat in the air. The way the color of the words almost perfectly matches his lips. Kang can barely stand to look directly at him in it.

The last thing Kang should do is spend the rest of the afternoon with him, however much he wants to. He really should get as far away from Sailom as possible until the temptation to press his thumb to the pink bow of his mouth subsides.

“Come on,” Sailom says, tugging.

Like always, Kang follows his lead.

#really struggled writing a Kang who is not openly lovesick!! #that is so entrenched in my headcanon now #what do you mean he’s not a whipped doting boyfriend?? #but apparently all it took was being the most stressed I have ever been at work and having a flight #kess sometimes writes fic not meta #kanghansailom #dangerous romance

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

The (sort of) pilot trailer AU

Earlier today I was talking a little in the tags on this post about an AU of our Dangerous Romance that might feel a little more like the pilot trailer. @poetry-protest-pornography prompted me to share a little more. Here’s my little bedtime story to myself of late:

-everything happens the same right up until shortly after the cheat sheet incident -instead of escalating to the pedophile thing (which can ONLY be redeemed via the gun incident) somehow Sailom successfully manages to start tutoring Kang (maybe Grandma Ging is more involved) -so the antagonism lasts a good bit longer. Kang is annoyed at being made to tutor and while Sailom deep down loves him, he hasn’t seen the good side of Kang yet so holds himself at a distance -the more time they spend together though, the more they slip. -Sailom overhears Kang’s dad make his ‘helpful’ remarks about Kang taking it easy on more than one occasion and starts to get ideas about why Kang has become the way he is -Sailom praises Kang when he gets answers right and Kang finds himself freezing in place, face hot -One time Sailom comes with bruises on his face and won’t tell Kang what happened -they keep making each other laugh accidentally and going over time without meaning to -It’s reaching a point where it’s getting tense because neither of them will admit they actually like each other; lots of very handsy tussling/shoving each other -During this time, they have shenanigans where they piss someone off and have to hide in an enclosed space together, so there is a NEAR KISS -there is also at least one (if not three) slow motion fall moments, because cmon this is DR -Kang also gets punched in the face (either by Sailom or not) and Sailom relents enough to shove ice in his mouth -Except this whole time Kang has been stewing on the kiss in the gym and he’s also getting increasingly more possessive of Sailom’s time, including when he hangs out with Guy -So one night they get in this ridiculous argument and it’s pouring rain, and it ends up in the OG kissing scene -They start hooking up (the teenage version of it) regularly after that — maybe it becomes a kind of reward system when Kang does well (which would be a great pretense for why they can allow themselves to do it without copping to feelings) -only once they are kissing regularly and Sailom is already struggling to keep up walls does he get the full force of the Kang reveal. Maybe the dad comes into Kang’s room and he has to hide under the bed (or behind the curtains, lol) and hears the dad say something truly awful; this would be a good time for the whole soccer plotline to come into effect -Afterwards, Sailom’s truly done for; he can’t help being wanting to support Kang in every way he can; he starts showing up to games, praising him more, etc -And those moments of his support only make Kang give him those big longing looks that make his heart seize more -Then, as their relationship is at this precipice, one night Sailom doesn’t show up to tutoring, completely out of nowhere and won’t answer his phone, and Kang (gets all dolled up) and goes over to see what’s going on -So you get a version of the gun scene where Kang enters to find Sailom terrified out of his mind, screaming, and somehow bluffs his way into saving him (not sure how because in this case he wouldn’t have a gun — perhaps a ‘do you know who my father is’ or he just promises to bring back money to pay them) -this time the feelings of the hug would be very different. Sailom would be clinging to him even more, and Kang wouldn’t be able to stop touching him; probably rubbing a hand up and down his back and kissing the top of his head -That night Kang would convince him to spend the night and they would fall asleep in the same back bed, then wake up tangled up together in the morning -They probably have another argument because Kang wouldn’t want to let Sailom go home; he’d be even more insanely protective. This could culminate in a “because I love you!” -and then we would quickly get into the escort plotline and so much of what we have ahead in which I cannot possibly speculate more than I have already!

#PPP still tagging you in this in the hopes it might serve as a little bit of distraction #But please feel free to ignore entirely #dangerous romance #Kess babbles about dangerous romance #kess sometimes writes fic not meta

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Farewell to Sick Kang Theory

How do I even explain this ridiculous post?? Inspired in no small part by all the trailer footage of Kang fainting in the early days of Dangerous Romance I posited a theory that Kang had a chronic, life threatening health condition, which would explain why his dad talks to him the way he does.

Well yesterday @poetry-protest-pornography reminded me via this post that the theory is officially officially dead 😭. So while I LOVE everything we are getting on DR right now, I want to take a moment to pour one out for the AU that will forever hold a piece of my heart:

Kang’s mom died of a heart condition that he inherited

Afterwards, Kang’s father (and grandmother probably to a slightly lesser extent than the dad) were overprotective. At home, everything he did was monitored — was he eating healthy, sleeping enough, not stressing himself out.

the constant pressure of being told ‘you are weak, you are fragile’ is what manifested into the same bully Kang we saw in early episodes because he so desperately wanted to feel powerful

i love how this could overlap so closely with canon and still work. He still escalates with Sailom and brings a gun to his house but that scene might almost impact him MORE — he plays the hero and for the first time in his life he feels STRONG; he feels useful, and he’s addicted to it so he imprints on Sailom even more immediately

Episode 3 feels too fast for Sailom to learn so let’s say they start studying together and Sailom only gets pieces of this — he’s gradually realizing how Kang gets treated at home and Kang still drunkenly reveals how his dad makes him feel but Sailom doesn’t know WHY

In this verse you could do an interesting flip where Kang begs for the bike and does pass his tests and then the dad changes his mind and not only takes it away but (temporarily) takes away the tutoring because he didn’t like how hard Kang was exerting himself with all-nighters

so then Sailom coming to live with them would in part be so the dad can monitor their study sessions and make sure they are an appropriate length time and not too taxing on Kang

of course Sailom has been seeing all this happen — he’s been spending all this time with Kang and now has heard this pattern over and over where Kang gets talked down to — and he’s both furious at it and it’s increasingly nagging at him. He’s starting to feel like he’s missing something

but he’s also falling so deeply in love that he kind of willingly forgets to ask; he just wants to spend the time he’s getting with Kang

Here I don’t think we need the Pimfah love triangle at least on Kang’s side (I still don’t believe he ever truly had feelings for her anyway) — Kang would still be the king of mixed signals because he’d alternate between love-sick staring & wildly romantic lines then running away from his feelings

Pimfah knows about Kang; her dad runs the hospital where he spent most of his childhood but she doesn’t talk about it out of respect for his privacy

but maybe she still has feelings for Sailom which would lead to the rain scene after Sailom rejects her

oooh Kang taking care of Sailom would be SO IMPORTANT to him— he’s never gotten to be on the other side, to be the caretaker, and maybe later that memory of how much love he felt in that moment would stick with him

(because obviously in this verse the big end would be Kang doing something heroic to help save Sailom from Name and then collapsing and not waking up and having to be rushed into emergency surgery — which would necessitate him being willing to let Sailom take care of him as he recovers)

The art room would still happen but it would be Kang thinking “I can’t be with him because I don’t have a future to give him” and thus self-sacrificing

of course though, he wouldn’t be able to fight his jealousy or the strength of his feelings and he would still kiss Sailom in the locker room

and all this would come to a head in the fainting scene in episode 7. Because Kang would have spent the day flirting with Sailom and trying to act all tough and strong to impress his friends

but after he faints, he would be forced to go to the hospital to have a check up to make sure everything is okay with his heart

No matter how much he protests or just tries to play it off like he’s going home to rest, Sailom would insist on coming with him

so Sailom would finally learn the truth — I can so perfectly picture his face too. It would be the same face he had when the dad unveiled the bike. Mapping every interaction he’s had with Kang and suddenly feeling even more deeply empathetic towards him

The bar scene is obviously crucial, so that could be Kang later offering to buy them drinks for helping him; but maybe he’s keeping his distance from Sailom; he (stupidly) thinks Sailom won’t want him anymore now that the truth is out

and then I don’t know how the bleachers scene happens in this new context — maybe Kang had started playing football but after he fainted it was expressly forbidden and he is being really pathetic and in his feelings about that and thinking he can’t have Sailom

Which would mean the hug scene would be equally if not more meaningful to Kang here — because it would be Sailom saying ‘I think we have a future, I believe you have a future, I want to be with you. Stop avoiding me, you asshole’

I don't know I just really love it!! And it would be so powerful seeing a chronically ill character spouting insanely romantic lines, and being jealous/possessive, and getting to play the protective hero!!

Am I glad I don’t have to worry as much about Kang possibly DYING for the romance of it all? Yes. But will I still miss it a little bit? Also yes.

#Sick Kang theory #Maybe one day I’ll write the 40K AU #dangerous romance the series #kess babbles about dangerous romance #kanghan kirttin sukprasert #dangerous romance #kess sometimes writes fic not meta

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

Move Forward Together

Chopper’s response came in a barely audible whisper. “Someone’s in the house.” “What?” Ben demanded. “I have to go,” Chopper said, even more quietly. The line abruptly went dead.

(Epilogue to Never Let Me Go | 3,960 words)

#HAPPY PERTHCHIMON DAY #chopperben #benchopper #kess sometimes writes fic not meta #never let me go the series #never let me go #chopper kiattrakulmethee #ben nlmg #nlmg

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

My stuff

Dangerous Romance meta and other observations

What the hell is Ben thinking in Never Let Me Go? (Meta series)

Fic and not-fic

PerthChimon extra content ‘analysis’

Hear me on the @criticallyobs podcast "Let's Talk Dangerous Romance Special Episode" and "Let's Talk Last Twilight" part 1 and part 2

Best of PerthChimon videos YouTube playlist and my Curated Library of their YouTube Shorts

Nothing But Good by Kess McKinley (also available digitally!)

#ben meta series #Kess sometimes writes fic not meta #Kess babbles about dangerous Romance #Extra content deep dive #critical obsession podcast

[kess-in-the-perthchimzone]

hii, i am really loving you Dangerous Romance mini fics, thanks a lot for them.

Do you think you could also posted them on ao3? We don't have a lot of work for them there and i think the whole fandom would really appreciate it, anyway just a idea.

hi! Thank you so much! I definitely will, I just have 2-5(??) to go and am going to upload them all at once. I’m very very curious to see what the final word count is going to be 😬

#Kess sometimes writes fic not meta