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porlockstompf · 4 years

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Reading de Nacht Reading 2019

my favourite books of the year

my overall favourite book of the year:

martin hägglund "this life why mortality makes us free" (2019)

postcyberpunkstompf:

01 ken liu (ed) "broken stars: contemporary chinese sf in translation" (2019)

02 cory doctorow "radicalized" (2019) 03 dave hutchinson "the return of the incredible exploding man" (2019) + dave hutchinson "nomads" (2019) + dave hutchinson "thumbprints" (1978) + dave hutchinson "torn air" (1980) + dave hutchinson "the push" (2009) + dave hutchinson "the villages" (2002) ... damn that elusive "paradise equation" (1981) ... 04 tade thompson "rosewater" (2016) + tade thompson "rosewater insurrection" (2019) + tade thompson "rosewater redemption" (2019) 05 desirina boskovich (ed) "lost transmissions: the secret history of sf & f" (2019)

06 hannu rajaniemi & jacob weisman (eds) "the new voices of science fiction" (2019) 07 gardner dozois (ed) "the very best of the best: 35 years of the year's best science fiction" (2019) 08 jonathan strahan (ed) "the best science fiction & fantasy of the year, volume thirteen" (2019) 09 robert markeley "kim stanley robinson modern masters of sf" (2019) 10 allan kaster (ed) "the year's top hard sf stories 3" (2019)

11 olivier girard (ed) "bifrost 96 la revue des mondes imaginaires: william gibson" (2019) 12 mario guglielminetti "web is over. parabola ed esplosione di ubuweb, l'antiprofilo" (2019) 13 bryan thomas schmidt (ed) "infinite stars: dark frontiers" (2019) 14 baoshu "the redemption of time" [2011] (2019) 15 cixin liu "the supernova era" [2003] (2019)

16 l. x. beckett "gamechanger" (2019) 17 gareth l powell "fleet of knives" (2019) 18 chen qiufan "waste tide" [2013] (2019) 19 derek künsken "the quantum garden" (2019) 20 gregory benford "rewrite: loops in the timescape" (2019)

21 james s.a. corey "tiamat's wrath" (2019) + james s.a. corey "auberon" (2019) 22 jim al-khalili "sunfall" (2019) 23 peter f hamilton "salvation lost" (2019) 24 neal asher "the warship" (2019) 25 jonathan strahan (ed) "mission critical" (2019)

26 jack mcdevitt "octavia gone" (2019) 27 elizabeth bear "ancestral night" (2019) 28 ian mcdonald "moon rising" (2019) 29 carmen maria machado (ed) "the best american sf & f 2019" (2019) 30 valerie valdes "chilling effect" (2019) 31 simon morden "bright morning star" (2019) + s. j. morden "no way" (2019) 32 neil stephenson "fall or, dodge in hell" (2019) 33 graham edwards "string city" (2019)

klassikstompf:

01 arno schmidt "bottom's dream" [1970] (2016) ... & still reading ...

02 jorge luis borgès "borgès restored (the author's preferred translations)" (2016) 03 julie orringer "the flight portfolio" (2019) + julie orringer "the invisible bridge" (2010) 04 pola oloixarac "savage theories" (2017) + pola oloixarac "dark constellations" (2019) 05 simon critchley "memory theatre" (2014)

06 gabriel josipovici "hotel andromeda" (2014) 07 david keenan "for the good times" (2019) 08 wg sebald "vertigo" [1990] (1999) + wg sebald "the emmigrants" [1992] (1996) + wg sebald "the rings of saturn" [1995] (1998) + wg sebald "austerlitz" (2001) 09 luis chitarroni "the no variations "diary of an unfinished novel" [2007] (2013) 10 julián ríos "larva: a midsummer night's babel" [1983] (1991)

11 césar aira "birthday" [2001] (2019) + césar aira "three novels" [1990-2000-1997] (2018) 12 tom mole "the secret life of books" (2019) 13 lucy ives "loudermilk or the real poet or the origin of the world" (2019) 14 lászló krasznahorkai "baron wenckheim's homecoming" [2016] (2019) 15 lucy ellmann "ducks, newburyport" (2019)

16 lars iyer "nietzsche & the burbs" (2019) 17 d harlan wilson "the psychotic dr. schreber" (2019) 18 andrew gallix (ed) "we'll never have paris" (2019) 19 chris kelso (ed) "i transgress" (2019) 20 john crowley "the solitudes" [1987] (2007) + john crowley "love & sleep" (1994) + john crowley "daemonomania" (2000) + john crowley "endless things" (2007) ... (the aegypt cycle)

polarstompf:

01 carlos ruiz zafón "the labyrinth of the spirits" [2017] (2018)

02 volker kutscher "the fatherland files" [2012] (2019) 03 andrea camilleri "the overnight kidnapper" [2015] (2019) + andrea camilleri "the other end of the line" [2016] (2019) 04 mick herron "joe country" (2019) + mick herron "this is what happened" (2018) + mick herron "nobody walks" (2015) 05 john le carré "agent running the field" (2019)

06 guillaume musso "la vie secrète des écrivains" (2019) 07 luke mccallin "the man from berlin" (2013) + luke mccallin "the pale house" (2014) + luke mccallin "the divided city" (2016) 09 henry porter "brandenburg" [2005] (2019) + henry porter "firefly" (2018) + henry porter "white hot silence" (2019) 10 mitch silver "the bookworm" (2018) + mitch silver "in secret service" (2007)

11 alan judd "the accidental agent" (2019) 12 philip kerr "metropolis" (2019) 13 ian rankin "westwind" (2019) 14 jo nesbø "the knife" (2019) 15 david hewson "devil's fjord" (2019)

16 barry forshaw "crime fiction: a reader's guide" (2019) 17 a.a. dhand "one way out" (2019) 18 martin holmén "clinch: the stockholm trilogy 01" (2016) + martin holmén "down for te count: the stockholm trilogy 02" (2017) + martin holmén "slugger: the stockholm trilogy 03" (2019) 19 michael kestemont "de zwarte koning" (2019) 20 soren sveistrup "the chestnut man" [2018] (2019)

21 tim mason "the darwin affair" (2019) 22 patrick conrad "good night, charlie" (2019) 23 chris pavone "the paris diversion" (2019) 24 dov aflon "a long night in paris" (2019) 25 arne dahl "hunted" [2017] (2019)

RIP ANDREA CAMILLERI !

gedächtnisstompf:

01 martin hägglund "this life: why mortality makes us free" (2019) / "this life: secular faith & spiritual freedom" (2019)

02 derrida "la vie la mort: séminaire (1975-1976)" (2019) 03 jean-luc nancy "derrida, suppléments” (2019) 04 jean-françois bouthors et jean-luc nancy "démocratie! hic et nunc" (2019) 05 hannah arendt "de vrijheid om vrij te zijn" (2019) + hannah arendt "nous autres réfugiés" (2019)

06 mckenzie wark "capital is dead": is this something worse?" (2019) 07 johan schokker & tim schokker "extimiteit: jacques lacan's terugkeer naar freud" (2000) 08 gerhard richter & ann schmock (eds) "give the word: responses to werner hamacher's 95 theses on philology" (2019) 09 ranja n gosh "philosophy & poetry: continental perspectives" (2019) 10 shoshana zuboff "the age of surveillance capitalism" (2019)

11 kate zambrano "screen tests: stories & other writing" (2019) 12 daniele carluccio "roland barthes lecteur" (2019) 13 jean-clet martin "la philosophie de gilles deleuze" (2019) 14 mitchell dean & daniel zamora "le dernier homme et la fin de la révolution: foucault après mai 68" (2019) 15 arnon grunberg "vriend & vijand: decadentie, ondergang & verlossing" (2019)

16 kwami anthony appiah "de leugens die ons verbinden: een nieuwe kijk op identiteit" [2018] (2019) 17 quentin meillassoux "science fiction & extro-science fiction" (2015) 18 roberto calasso "het onbenoembare verleden" [2017] (2019) 19 lydia davis "essays" (2019) 20 denise riley "time lived, without its flow" (2019)

poesisstompf:

zoë skoulding "footnotes to water" (2019)

platterstompf:

01 rick moody "on celestial music, and other adventures in listening" (2012)

02 yann courtiau "frictions: ce que la littérature a fait à la musique et ce que la musique a en a fait" (2019) 03 vivien goldman "revenge of the she-punks: a feminist music history from poly styrene to pussy riot" (2019) 04 garrígos, triana & guerra "god save the queens: pioneras del punk" (2019) 05 jon savage "this searing light, the sun & everything else: joy division the oral history" (2019)

06 richard beck "trains, jesus, and murder: the gospel according to johnny cash" 07 mark lanegan "sleevenotes" (2019) 08 jason williamson "jason williamson's house party: sleaford mods 2014-2019" (2019) 09 gallix, hill, & rose (eds) "love bites: fiction inspired by pete shelley" (2019) 10 greg laurie "johnny cash the redemption of an american icon" (2019)

11 marc vos & toon loenders "siglo xx: opdat de dood ons levend vindt & het leven ons niet doodt" (2019) 12 david sandilands & david keenan "go ahead & drop the bomb (memorial device pamflet)" (2019) 13 guillaume belhomme "pop fin de siècle" (2019) 14 chris bohn (ed) "the wire" (magazine) (2019) 15 sylvain sylvain "there's no bones in ice cream: sylvain sylvain's story of the new york dolls" (2018)

16 debbie harry "face it" (2019) 17 jaime gonzalo "poder freak: una crónica de la contracultura vol III" (2014) 18 matthew bower & samantha davies "talisman angelical" (2017) 19 darryl w bullock "the world's worst records: an arcade of audio atrocity vol I" (2013) + darryl w bullock "the world's worst records: another arcade of audio atrocity vol II" (2015) 20 steve zisson (ed) "a punk rock future" (2019) / ivar muñoz-rojas "underground babilonia" (2019)

bilderstompf:

01 didier ottinger "bacon en toutes lettres" (2019)

02 antoni tàpies "cap braços cames cos" (2012) + antoni tàpies "mahlerei und graphik" (2011) 03 laura oldfield ford "savage messiah" (2019) 04 fred vermorel "dead fashion girl: a situationist detective story" (2019) 05 françois schuiten & jaco van dormael "le dernier pharaon" (2019)

06 ken krimstein "the three escapes of hannah arendt: the tyranny of truth" (2018) 07 erik bindervoet & saskia pfaeltzer "aldus sprach nietzsche's zuster" (2019) 08 anthony n fragola & roch c smith "the erotic dream machine: interviews with alain robbe-grillet on his films" (2006)

cyclostompf:

01 bernard chambaz "petite philosophie du vélo" (2019)

02 filip osselaer "de man die doodging (vervolgens mosselen bestelde, de rekening vroeg en verdween): el tarangu, josé manuel fuente" (2019) 03 peter schmink "de cultus van het lijden: een vrije oefening" (2006) 04 laurent willame "les lieux sacrés du cyclisme: 15 pélérinages à faire avant de crever" (2019) 05 jonas heyerick (ed) "bahamontes: uit liefde voor de stiel" [magazine] (2019)

06 johnny vansevenant "1969, het jaar van eddy merckx" (2019) 07 edwin winkels "la vuelta: heroïsche verhalen uit de ronde van spanje" (2019) 08 frederik baeckelandt "fausto coppi (les héros 04)" (2019) 09 harry pearson "the beast, the emperor & the milkman: a bone-shaking tour through cycling’s flemish heartlands" (2019) 10 peter cossins "the yellow jersey / le maillot jaune" (2019)

11 thijs zonneveld "het panini album" (2019) 12 thijs zonneveld "de fiets, de fiets & nog veel meer sportverhalen" (2019) 13 willy vangenechten "hoe word je een wielerfan (en blijf je er een)?" (2019)

some wissenschaftstompf & autres divertissements ...:

01 robert macfarlane "underland: a deep time journey" (2019)

02 george van hal & ans hekkenberg "het kosmisch rariteitenkabinet" (2019) 03 josey waley-cohen "only connect: the difficult second quiz book" (2019)

… tsundoku !

may your home be safe from tigers, leroy, x HNY!

... the annual out of control TBR pile ...

postcyberpunkstompf

ada hoffmann "the outside" (2019) adrian tchaikovsky "children of ruin" (2019) alastair reynolds "shadow captain" (2019) + alastair reynolds "permafrost" (2019) annalee newitz "the future of another timeline" (2019) charlie jane anders "the city in the middle of the night" (2019) farah mendlesohn "the pleasant profession of robert a heinlein" (2019)gareth l powell "ragged alice" (2019) greg egan "perihelion summer" (2019) ian creasey "the shapes of strangers" (2019) jo walton "lent" (2019)

kameron hurley "the light brigade" (2019) karl schroeder "stealing words" (2019) megan o'keefe "velocity weapon" (2019) neil clarke (ed) "the eagle has landed: 50 years of lunar sf" (2019) nina allan "the silverwind" (2019) paul di filippo "aeota" (2019) peter swirski "stanislaw lem: philosopher of the future" (2019) + peter swirski & waclaw m osadnik (eds) "lemography: stanislaw lem in the eyes of the world" (2019) richard kadrey "the grand dark" (2019) rudy rucker "million mile road trip" (2019) simon ings "the smoke" (2019)

klassikstompf

alex landragin "crossings" (2019) enrique vila-matas "mac's problem" [2017] (2019) joseph scapellato "the made-up man" (2019) kevin breatnach "tunnelvision" (2019) michel houellebecq "serotonin" (2019) nell zink "doxology" (2019) roberto bolaño "the spirit of science fiction: a novel" (2019) samanta schweblin "mouthful of birds" (2019) sergio pitol "mephisto's waltz: selected short stories" (2019) will eaves "murmur" (2019)

polarstompf

johan op de beek "het complot van laken" (2019) jon steinhagen "the hanging artist" (2019) juli zeh "empty hearts" (2019) max hertzberg "operation oskar" (2019) + max hertzberg "berlin centre" (2019) peter robinson "many rivers to cross" (2019) tony belloto "bellini & the sphinx" [1995] (2019)

#2019 #rewind #reading #lecture #librarything

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bruhlsbees · 3 years

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better man || ken hutchinson x fem!reader

summary: still wrecked from being put on suspension and learning about starsky's application to be transfered, hutch calls you to come over to comfort him

pairing: ken hutchinson x fem!reader

word count: 4,762

warnings: smut, 18+, minors dni, angst, maybe a little ooc!hutch?? i made him super soft in this

a/n: pls accept this soft!hutch fic as the first of many owen wilson related content coming from yours truly

You weren’t expecting to get a phone call from him that night, let alone ask for you to come over.

It wasn’t his usual night for you to meet up. The both of you had a mutual understanding of each other’s outside lives - him working during the day, you working at night. Unless he came around to Huggy’s, you’d only ever see him on the night you had off - where it was usually spent at his house, listening to him play the guitar and having one too many drinks.

So when you got a call from him that night only minutes before leaving for work, desperately pleading with you to call in, you couldn’t help but ask why.

“Huggy ain’t gonna like this, Hutch. You know we are already short-staffed with the girls. Can’t you come down to Huggy’s and we can talk there? What’s going on?”

You heard him whine faintly over the phone, sighing throughout your words as he tried to think of a good reason on the other end as to why he wanted to see you. Would it be so wrong to just say he just missed you?

“Tell Huggy I’ll pick up some extra jobs for him. Tell him I’ll owe him any favor he wants if you can get tonight off. Please, do this for me. Just this once.”

Something about the phrase ‘just this one’ didn’t sound too believable. Hutch had a good way of getting what he wanted even if he said prior that it was just a one time thing. But you couldn’t point all the fault to him, cause every promise you believed - you still ended up giving in.

“Fine,” You agreed after a moment of thinking, “I’ll give Huggy a call and then I’ll head over. Just give me a little bit to change. I’m not walking down the road in my work uniform. I don’t need to get picked up.”

Before you could get another word out, you heard Hutch rush his goodbye before hearing the phone call end with a ‘click’.

So after calling into work, relaying the deal that Hutch wanted you to negotiate with Huggy, you were free from your night of dancing down at Huggy’s Place and changed out of your uniform and into something less revealing and more comfortable.

Whether you would just be taking them off when you got there or not didn’t matter, you weren’t heading out into the neighborhood in your nightclub uniform for someone to mistake you for something you weren’t.

It only took you about twenty minutes before you were at Hutch’s front door, rapping your knuckles against his screen door until you waited for him to let you in or call for you to just come in. Not even thirty seconds later the door opened and you were greeted by Hutch.

“Hey...thanks for stopping by.” He greeted, stepping out of the way for you to walk in before he shut and locked his door. You nodded, slipping your shoes off before heading into his living room.

“Yeah, no problem. Huggy said he’d let you know if he needed a favor by the way, but he also said if you were going to start making this a habit, you’d need to pay for me to come over.” Unzipping your sweatshirt, you tossed it on his couch before turning, looking back at him.

Chuckling to himself, Hutch shook his head and made his way towards you, hands at his waist until his toes touched yours, hovering above you.

“Why do I get the feeling you made that last bit up?” He questioned, smirking down at you. You returned the smirk back, shrugging your shoulders before your hands moved to the front of his button up, resting on his chest as you hummed.

“Maybe I did, maybe I didn’t.” You moved your hands up his chest before wrapping them around his neck, feeling his own arms wrap around your waist as he kept you close. “So are you going to tell me what you called me over here for or what?”

Leaning forward, Hutch pressed his lips to your forehead, exhaling through his nose while he held his position for a moment, until he pulled back to look down at you.

“Work stuff. Apparently I’m a shit cop with a partner who would rather transfer to another precinct than work with me,” He paused, shaking his head and pulling back from you, heading over to his couch to plop down on, running his hands over his legs, “Guy’s such a tight ass, I don’t know why I’m even letting him get to me.”

With a sympathetic smile, you listened to him carefully until he was finished, heading over and sitting down in the spot beside him, your left hand going to his hair to play with while your right hand found one of his hands to hold.

“It sounds like you care about him...and care about how he sees you,” Before he could protest your observation, you moved your hand from his and pressed your fingers to his lips to hush him, “You’re not a bad cop. Yeah your ethic might not be as union-friendly as it could be, but that doesn’t make you a bad cop. You’re a good cop, a great detective, and an even better man.”

Your words came to him like a prayer, taking in every syllable you spoke. He hadn’t planned on you coming over to praise him, but damn did you do a good job with it, and it did cheer him up...so maybe all along this was what he was looking for.

The relationship you had with Hutch was...interesting to say the least. It was well known down at Huggy’s that you were his favorite dancer and he was your favorite customer. The first time he walked in alone turned your legs to jelly and ever since then he had you wrapped around his finger.

What you had going on had been happening for a while now, escalating into not-so-secret evenings spent together at his place usually. Maybe it was just a hookup sort of deal, but you ignored that idea entirely, focusing on how Hutch made you feel.

He was a flirt with any pair of legs that walked by him, but he always knew how to make you feel special. The other girls down at Huggy’s always seemed to point out how well he would tip you, or even the look he’d give when you were giving him a dance. ‘He’s a customer, that’s what customers do,’ you’d remind them.

But that wasn’t the entire truth. You knew not too deep down you enjoyed being the only one he looked at, being his girl on the nights he came in and his pretty thing when you’d go to his house. The sex with him was great, there wasn’t any doubt about that, but you enjoyed the nights just as much when you didn’t have sex - when all you did was talk.

It felt, almost, like something real...hell, like you were dating.

His eyes moved from the coffee table and to you, smiling weakly as his blue eyes took you in. You looked tired, drained from the long nights at work, but there was still something so gentle about you, so pure.

“You’re the prettiest thing to walk this Earth, you know that?” Hutch whispered, head beginning to lull forward, closing the space between you.

Blushing, you followed in suit, your own face leaning closer to his, “When did you start going soft on me?” You found yourself asking, but before he could answer, your lips were already on him.

Humming into the kiss, your hands moved to cradle his face, holding either side in your hands as you were pulled into his lap, straddling him now as you continued to make out on the couch. He tasted sweet like honey and bitter like whiskey - overall though, sensuous.

You felt his hands run up your back, under your shirt until his fingers found the back of your bra. Being the man Hutch was, the back of a bra was like the back of his own hand. He could unhook a bra in his sleep if he wanted.

Maybe he was a grade a sleaze for the most part, but in times like this when that facade broke, and Hutch was just himself, nothing else really mattered besides you and him.

Pulling away from him, you leaned back to pull your shirt off, slipping your bra off your shoulders before tossing it to the side to join your t-shirt. At the sight of your exposed breasts, Hutch leaned forward with a sigh, his mouth warming your left breast while his right hand massaged at your other.

“O-Oh...Ken.” His name left your mouth like a song, holding his head close to you as he continued to suckle at your nipple, overstimulating your breasts until you began to shake in his arms.

Pulling away with a ‘pop’, Hutch looked up at you with a smile, keeping his eyes on you as he kissed up your chest, to your neck, before finally reaching your face. As he made his way up your body, your fingers found the front of his shirt and began to fumble with the buttons until his chest became exposed.

“You know everyone calls me Hutch, right?” He reminded you, smiling against your cheek before peppering your face with kisses. He couldn’t help the grin that pulled at his face, hurting his cheeks at the sound of your laughs.

“I know that, but you’re my Ken. Can’t I call you Ken when we’re alone?” You watched as his face pulled away, smiling your way and looking at you so endearing, as if you were his. Could there ever be a time where you could call him yours?

You shivered under his touch when you felt his calloused hand hold your face, fingers bending to stroke up the side of your face, “You can call me whatever you want.”

Pushing his shirt off his shoulders, you leaned forward and pressed yourself against his warm torso, wrapping your arms around him again as you went back in for another deep kiss. This time, while his right arm was wrapped tight around your middle, his left hand held your ass, lifting you up as he carried you to his bedroom.

Clinging to him until your back hit the mattress, you sank into his bed with ease, sighing against his lips as your muscles relaxed. He always did have a better mattress than you did. You were half expecting him to stay on top of you.

At first you were disappointed when he stood up, standing at the foot of his bed, only for that disappointment to turn into a grin when you saw him unbuckle his belt and pull his jeans and boxers down. He leaned forward and grabbed the waistband of your pants, yanking them down your legs and off, throwing them behind him.

Grabbing onto your calves, Hutch pulled your body down his bed and towards him, grinning at the way you stretched out on his bed, staring up at him with that serene look he always felt safe with. Before he could lean forward to sink his teeth into your plush thighs, you unexpectedly grabbed him there, possessively almost, your gaze darkening when you met his.

He choked on his words when your grip tightened around the base of his cock, slowly pumping him - your eyes never leaving his. His chest raised and fell back, staring down at your hand until his chest tightened, closing his eyes.

You leaned forward and swiped the tip of his cock with your tongue, continuing to slowly pump him as you heard the low grunts come from him above you, his head falling back and mouth gaped open.

“Y-You don’t gotta do that, you know.” He choked out, gasping when he felt you spit on him to later in your hand, the slick sounds of your spit mixed with his pre-cum sending him over the edge.

Pulling his cock up, you leaned forward and took his tightened balls in your mouth, sucking on them before pulling back and letting them fall out of your mouth. At this point, Hutch didn’t know how much longer he’d be able to hold on.

“I know, but I want to. You always take care of everyone, why don’t you let me take care of you?”

He carefully opened his eyes and let his head fall back forwards, looking down at you and reaching forward to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. You smiled and closed your eyes, leaning into his touch before feeling him shift in front of you.

Crawling on top of you again, Hutch pulled you up by your thighs, wrapping them around his waist as he quickly positioned himself at your entrance, running the tip of his cock between your folds, sighing at how wet you already were.

“Next time,” He promised, pulling you even closer to him, if that was even possible, “Right now I just need to be in you. Okay?”

Nodding, your hands found his shoulders, holding onto them as your head settled into his pillows, staring up at him. You couldn’t help but admire his features; how his eyes were blue but sometimes twinkled green, the obvious bend to his nose where he broke it all those years ago, and even if you never meant to kiss him - you still ended up doing so because his lips were just that desirable.

“You’re beautiful, you know that?” You found yourself admitting, blushing when you caught the words slip out of your mouth. He didn’t seem to mind though, his cheeks going pink for a moment before he kissed you quickly.

“That’s supposed to be my line, you know that?” He teased, mocking you. Before you could really lay it on him, wanting to be the one to have the last word, your breath hitched to your throat, choking on your words as he suddenly pushed inside of you, filling you up instantly.

Hutch wasn’t cruel, he could be rough sometimes in bed, but he wouldn’t let you spend the entire time wincing away in pain. As he stayed inside you, feeling your walls clutch almost too tight around him, he waited until you adjusted to him, letting out a shaky breath before nodding for him to continue.

You didn’t need to tell him verbally to move, your nod was enough for him to grip the sheets beside your head and begin pumping in and out of you, staring down at your face as your mouth fell into an ‘o’ shape and your eyes fluttered shut.

He couldn’t say it enough, how beautiful you were. In the dark overcast you were his sunshine. And maybe that’s why it hurt so much to know that you weren’t truly his.

You could lay under him all day, any day, crying out his name and whimpering in his neck until you both came undone together - but there was still that empty feeling inside of him, like something was missing.

As a cop, he knew he had a commitment to his job that left him with a bare minimum social life - which is why he was often found socializing on the hour. It wouldn’t be fair for you to be sitting around waiting for him to come home everyday - Jesus, was that the best excuse he could come up with?

No, that wasn’t the case at all. He knew the real reason why - of all the men on your street, hell, in Bay City in general, there were plenty of better men out there than him. Hutch was selfish and if he couldn’t have you, he didn’t want anyone to.

“Hutch? I think I’m close.”

Pulling out of his thoughts, Hutch looked down at you, feeling your hands move to hold his face as your body began to tremble under him. How long had he been thinking for you to already be close?

That didn’t matter though, the clamping of your walls around him were enough for him to feel his own climax rising. Nodding his head, Hutch grabbed onto you and pulled you up, flipping so he was sitting and you were in his lap.

His face fell back into your breasts, cheek resting over your heartbeat and listening as the rhythmic pumping picked up as you clung onto him tighter, bouncing in his lap. With his fingers sinking into your sides, Hutch kept you at your current pace, helping you move when your thighs began to quiver and you began to choke up.

This was about him, you had to remind yourself. This wasn’t anything more than a quick fuck, and maybe that’s why it hurt so bad to feel him hold you the way he did. With your own face resting on the crown of his head, kissing his hair, your hands grabbed onto any part of him you could find.

Continuing to rut up inside you, leaving you bouncing in his lap like a ragdoll, your stomach began to twist and coil into knots, leaving your walls pulsating around him. Usually you’d last longer than what you were going at tonight, but you weren’t complaining, and neither was Hutch.

When he heard your breath hitch, your movements freezing, his own movements picked up, feeling everything inside of him tighten and burn up until he was coming undone inside you, gasping against your skin, pressing light kisses to your collarbones.

You weren’t far behind, whimpering when your toes curled as you felt the wave of relief hit you, the high feelings hitting you like a wall until you laid slack against him in his arms. Hutch held you in his arms, stroking your hair, “Don’t worry...I got you.”

When the both of you finally came down from your high, Hutch felt you push off of him, groaning at the loss of weight inside of you and the loss of heat for him. You weren’t entirely sure if he wanted you to stay, or if this was just what he wanted you for, so you began to search for your clothes, picking your jeans off the floor until you felt his hand grab your wrist.

Turning you first looked down at his hand before at him, seeing him seated in the same spot, his bangs sticking to his slicked forehead. He looked tired, but more at peace than before when you first arrived. You sent him a smile, moving your hand to hold his, giving it a squeeze.

“I should probably go so you can get some slee-”

“I’m not working right now...you don’t gotta leave just yet, if you don’t want to,” He moved his thumb over your knuckles, gently caressing your hand until he pulled you towards him again, “You could stay the night if you wanted to.”

Now this was new. You had never spent the night with him before, let alone did he ever offer you to. There was the one time when you had quite a bit too much to drink, but you insisted on him just walking you back home. Tonight though, tonight he had actually thrown out the idea for you to stay with him.

At first you didn’t know if you should, but with how he was already feeling, how you were feeling in the moment, and how late it was - you knew you’d regret it if you didn’t say yes.

After not-so-careful consideration, you smiled weakly and nodded, “I’d like that.” Your words came out in a hush and before you knew it you were being pulled down into his bed, letting him hold you in his arms as he pulled the covers over the two of you.

You weren’t exactly tired, seeing as though you were usually up late anyways, but in that moment - feeling the weight and warmth of him around you - the safety and security of him brought you into a slow lull.

With your cheek pressed against his chest, listening to his heartbeat, you hummed quietly as you felt his fingers trace patterns along your back, his movements growing slower until the both of you fell into a state of slumber.

⋆ ⋆ ⋆

Hutch wasn’t expecting to wake up to the smell of bacon being cooked, nor was he expecting to hear the sound of you singing ‘Good Vibrations’. It was a pleasant surprise though, one that he could get used to.

Shifting his body a little in bed, Hutch stretched up and reached towards the shelf above his bed, pulling up his alarm clock to see that it was going on just a little after nine. It wasn’t too early for him, but he knew for you it must have been hell getting up.

Then he began to think, had you even slept the night before?

It didn’t take him long to get dressed. Pulling out a clean pair of boxers and one of his old concert t-shirts, Hutch headed out of his room and down the hall towards the kitchen. At the sight of you lost in your own thoughts, dishing out food onto plates, Hutch could only lean against the doorway and admire you.

To think - he got so lucky, and yet you weren’t even his.

When you turned around, the plates in your hand, you jumped at the sudden sight of him, letting out a gasp before settling back down, letting out a weak laugh to match his.

“Hutch! Hi, morning - I’m sorry, was I being too loud? I was hoping to surprise you with breakfast in bed.” You explained sheepishly.

Shaking his head, Hutch took a couple steps forward towards you, taking one of the plates from you before kissing your cheek, “No, you weren’t being too loud. Sorry for ruining your surprise.” He listened to you tell him not to worry about it, beginning to ramble on about how you couldn’t sleep and went out to get stuff to make breakfast.

He hadn’t noticed at first, but now that he was hovering over you, he noticed you were wearing one of his turtlenecks, the long-sleeve swallowing you. When you realized he had noticed, you watched his free hand grab onto your waist, his thumb running up and down.

“I can take it off, I just couldn’t find my-”

“No, no, don't worry. It looks good on you. Hell, I think it looks better on you than it does me.” He admitted, watching as you smiled and shook your head.

“That’s not true, you always look good in your turtlenecks.” You leaned forward and met him in the middle with a kiss, pulling away after a moment to follow him into the living room, settling on the couch to enjoy breakfast.

He appreciated the kind gesture, having you take care of him the night before and that morning after explaining his situation with work. It made him realize just how much you cared for him, and how much he began to accept the feelings he had for you.

Chewing on his strip of bacon, Hutch glanced over your way and watched as you were contently eating, your eyes casted down at your plate, thinking to yourself. Leaning towards you, Hutch pressed another gentle kiss to your cheek, watching as your head pulled up and looked towards him.

“Thank you, for everything,” He began. When you opened your mouth to tell him that it wasn’t anything, he stopped you by stuffing the rest of his bacon strip in your mouth, smiling as you giggled, “What are you doing today?” He asked out of the blue.

After chewing the rest of the strip of bacon, you shook your head, “Nothing...tonight’s my day off so I don’t really do anything,” You explained, watching as he nodded his head in thought. “Why?”

Shrugging his shoulders, Hutch dropped his head down towards his plate, picking at the eggs, “Oh, nothing really I was just thinking that since you’re here, and wanted to, maybe you and I could go out for dinner or something? If you were up to do something today?”

Taken back by his suggestion, your expression faltered slightly, not sure how to take his offer. Would you be going out to dinner as friends?

“LIke a date?” You questioned hesitantly, clearing your throat to choke back your own nerves with the question.

You were surprised entirely to see him nod, smiling at his plate before he looked back up at you. “Yeah...a date.”

Staring at one another, Hutch carefully watched your face, waiting for your reaction. When you let out a laugh, Hutch frowned, cheeks going pink at the embarrassment that now settled in.

Had he gotten the wrong expression all this time? Were you not interested in the way he was with you?

Seeing how red he became, your laughs died down and you reached towards him, grabbing the back of his neck before pulling yourself to him for a kiss. When you pulled away, you saw him return the smile, visibly relaxing.

“Ken Hutchinson, when did it become so hard for you to ask a girl out?” You teased, caressing the side of his face. He shrugged his shoulders before leaning forward to kiss you again.

“When ‘that girl’ is someone I really like.” It was your turn to turn red, falling back in your spot, looking back down at your plate with a smile stained to your cheeks. So he did like you like that. “I just hope she feels the same way.” He whispered.

“She does,” You confirmed, slowly picking at your eggs, chewing them carefully so you didn’t choke, trying to find the right words to say next. “She just didn’t think you liked her.”

He couldn’t question why you had thought that, because it was the same way for him. At this point, the both of you were settled on the couch silently kicking yourselves as the revelations became clear. All this time, mutual pinning, and yet neither of you were able to see it.

“So it’s a date?” He confirmed after a minute, waiting for your answer.

Smiling, you looked up at him and nodded, “Yes, it’s a date.”

Letting his head fall back down to his plate, Hutch finished the rest of his plate with a smile on his face, the same as you. This time, while you ate, your body perked up at the thought of going on a date with Hutch. What would you wear? Where would you guys go?

For the rest of breakfast, the two of you sat in comfortable silence, eating the rest of the food that you made that sat in the kitchen before you decided it was time to go - wanting to get some sleep and get ready at your own place for that night.

Later that night, when Hutch came to pick you up, you were pleasantly surprised to see him holding a small bouquet of roses, wearing one of your favorite outfits of his - a pair of slacks, his black turtleneck, and brown jacket.

On the other hand, he nearly sank to his knees at the sight of you dolled up. Wearing a dark red dress that stopped at your calves, paired with a pair of black heels and makeup to match. He all but choked up on his words, watching as you pulled the bouquet from his hands to smell.

“Thank you, Ken, these are beautiful.” You noted, smiling up at him.

His own lips pulled into a smile, hands stuffed in the pocket of his slacks to keep from nervously twiddling with his fingers, “Well I had to find something equally as beautiful to match the owner of them.”

You blushed at his words, nodding in acknowledgement before motioning to the inside of your place, “Let me go put these in a vase really quick, and then we can go.”

Nodding, Hutch watched you walk inside and towards your kitchen, waiting out on the front porch for you.

Turning towards the street, the moon illuminating the neighborhood, Hutch couldn’t help the smile that stuck to his face, or the warm feeling he had in his belly. At that moment, he could believe your words now from the night before. It didn’t matter what anyone else said, so long as you believed in him.

With you, he knew he could be a better man.

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