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gertshortforgertricia · 4 years

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So. It's no longer 2013 but I'm here once again to exhortate (is that a valid word, doesn't matter because it is now) about Dean Winchester. As is plenty obvious from my page, he is my favourite character on "Supernatural" and pretty much anywhere. That's not to say that Sam and Cas are NOT good, of course not. They're amazing, and I'd wager that Dean Winchester would be the first to tear me a new one if I ever said otherwise.

Now that, that's said, here's the thing: just because they're "heroes", the "good guys", our favourites, doesn't mean they don't have flaws. Obviously, they do. They can lash out ("I'd want to hunt you"), say hurtful things ("freak, monster"//"yeah? why does that always seem to be you?" etcetera), make rash decisions (allowing Gadreel to possess Sam, to heal him),, [notice by the way, these are all Dean examples,, I'm trying to prove a point, here] but at the end of the day, they're human. Sam and Cas also have their share of less-than-great decisions and choice of words. Still, through it all TFW manage to forgive each other, and have each others' backs where it counts.

Sam and Dean and Cas are 3 very different kinds of characters and their dynamics and attitudes with/to each other are quite varied. Sam loves and trusts Dean and would die for him (and he has), but doesn't necessarily respect him all that much ("Dean's weak, he can't do it//It frustrates me when you'd rather run than fight"). Cas is the same way with Dean, "... maybe but at least then I won't have to watch you fail". Dean loves Sam and Cas and would die for them in a heartbeat (again, he has!) but he's never quite trusted Sam the same after the demon blood; Cas, Dean takes him for granted quite a bit ("baby in a trenchcoat" for e.g.) and Sam/Cas, well we know they're family, and each of them would go the extra mile to look out for the other. They're probably the most equal yet kept apart characters in the core of Team Free Will.

Alright. Since that's done, let me move on to the focus of this post: my dude, my boy, Dean Winchester. He's funny, loyal, wears his heart on his sleeve, is a huge adorkable geek and is unmistakably "beautiful". But let's look beyond that.

From Season 1, we know the kind of upbringing he's had, or rather, not had. He's only ever had his father and his brother, and the memory of his mother burning on the ceiling. His constant fear is losing them. That they'll die or leave, and somehow, somehow it'll be his fault. At 18, when he's 22, his brother leaves home. And hey, I get it. I get Sam wanting to leave, he's never seen family the way Dean has, how could he have? He was a lonely kid, two lonely kids on lockdown and hunting,,, and Sam didn't get the crusts cut off his PB&J, the way his brother did - maybe it was easier then, for Sam, not easy, but EASIER for him than Dean, who had 4 years of child's life and then was torn down, a dream that dissipated into black smoke, sulphur and bullet wounds. Sam hadn't had that to lose, at least. So he left, to go to college, John slammed the door and Dean was left, alone with a father who thought he was a disappointment. And he went on believing this, internalizing this, knowing KNOWING he was seen as hardly more than "Daddy's blunt little instrument" - I'm not saying John didn't love his older son, he sold his soul for him but you can't deny that in Sam, John so everything he used to be and in Dean, he saw Mary, everything he'd lost in that fire.

Skip to 2005, when Dean pulled Sam out of the second fire, for a minute there he saw his mother on the ceiling. And for a minute there, he looked at his brother and his heart broke because he knew that he'd damned his brother to his father's love and revenge,,, and he wouldn't be able to save them, like he believed he hadn't been able to do for the last 22 odd years. But he vowed, to stick with him, to do the worst to save him to rescue him, to help him, because he didn't not die in that fire just to lose his Sammy. So yes, he sold his soul, he tricked his brother to have an angel possess him to save his life. He was tough on Sam with the demon blood, berating him, trying to beat it down: it wasn't pleasant, it wasn't kind and it left a bitter taste in all of our mouths - I'm not justifying it, but when you remember John asked Dean to KILL Sam if he ever became xxx, that monster, the "Adversary" - it was Dean's worst nightmare and it's only natural he would do the "very worst" to deter his brother from the dark path which would end with nothing less than a bullet hole through his brain. And he couldn't do that, how could he? Maybe it was selfishly motivated, saving his brother's life, maybe Sam didn't need it but Dean did. He needed that purpose. It was "always his job. Watch out for (his) pain-in-the-ass little brother". And if you're gonna grudge this guy, for that,, I have nothing to say to you.

He's strong as hell. He went to Hell, was tortured and did the torturing, he unwittingly started the chain of events that ended up pushing Sam into the Cage, that nearly leveled the entire world - and he lives with that guilt, every fucking day. And then he wakes up every morning, again and again, to save the day, save humanity, from a dozen to a billion people,, all while remembering that once upon a time, his brother thought he was "too weak", "a good little soldier", "without a mind of his own" and his best-friend, once called him really early on "a burnt broken shell of a man". The worst thing? He might be healing a bit better, but the hits keep on coming: Endverse!Dean, MoC, Deanmon, Michael ~ they just realized versions of what he believes himself to be at his core. A monster. A too-far-gone man that can't be saved, but desperately clings to the few good things, hoping, this, this might save him. But he never finds that it does. Because each of it slips from between his fingers, leaving only blood and grime and dusty tears behind: Jo, Ellen, Bobby, John, Mary, Benny, Charlie, Kevin, Sam, Cas (× 10), Crowley, Jack, Rowena, Ketch ... when does it end? He's haunted by the thought of how it will end. And there's only one right answer in his mind, damaged or not.

Guns blazing.

Dean Winchester is angry, hurting, grieving, loving, surviving and fighting all at once. In the middle of all this he manages to grin and joke, and have that twinkle in his eyes when a song he likes comes on the radio, when he makes a pun that Sam sighs amusedly at, when Cas makes a face or when Jack stuffs his face with nougat, when what's precious left of his family is around him, and for the briefest moment content.

It's not easy, Dean's existence. And I haven't even accounted for the infinite other things that weigh on him, have the capacity to tear him to shreds if he dwells on it for too long. The people he couldn't save, his thankless job, the dreams he's sacrificed for this work, the way he's been screwed with by an end number of things ... Dean's not just "funny", his humour keeps him from buckling under the strain of his responsibility, his agony, his guilt. He's not just "loyal", he's unhealthily co-dependent upon his brother and vice versa because most people could understand how they've grown up, and yes it's not always a great thing, but hey, cut him some slack, huh? And as for, "wears his heart on this sleeve", he does. His heart is the most beautiful thing about Dean Winchester. It's what makes him human, despite the scars and wounds and cracks hastily mended - and y'all can fight me on it.

****

Okay, this was a super long text post which I felt the compelling need to write just because I feel Dean isn't appreciated enough for the sheer strength of his "game face" and bashed all too often, for what used to be his black-and-white perception of the world around him. Granted, he's had his less than proud moments but then haven't we all? Aight, that's it :)

Peace out bitches ♡

#dean winchester #appreciation #text post #i really went off #what is it #2013 #looks like #i make no apologies #(not) rip to antis

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thelittleredwhocould · 7 years

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@coopeli831 replied to your photoset “random-fireworks: When I was a kid, I’d travel- To all the...”:

Sam never answered his phone. In doing so betrayed his brother who trusted him to take care of those who trusted them: Kevin Tran and his mom. Sure, Dean would know how to find Sam. He did. Kevin was alone and needed help.

You have a good point. Sam should have been there for Kevin, except.... let’s take a look at the end of Season 7. Putting this under a cut cos it got long.

Here’s a direct quote from this post by @idreamofhazel (cos she says it better than I do and I’m referring to her post anyways; I highly recommend reading it, it’s very well-thought out and explained):

Sam has JUST gotten over his psychotic episode and was dealing with the guilt of passing it to Cas. He had spent months seeing Lucifer, not knowing what was real or what wasn’t, and then he almost died. His hallucinations wouldn’t let him sleep. Then Cas magically comes back, remembers who he is, and takes Sam’s cage crap upon himself. This crap is so strong that it knocks Cas out, and when he finally awakens, he’s “off his rocker.” This crap incapacitated an angel.

Sam was not in a good place, even after the Cage Crap was taken from him. Not even close. He was in recovery. The timeline isn’t clear, but if we go by air dates, the time between Sam losing the Cage Hallucinations and Dean’s disappearance was about five weeks. A little over a month. But probably less than that.

You think he would be fully recovered and in a healthy state of mind by then? Would anyone? (Let’s not forget that since he’s gotten back from the cage, he hasn’t had but a couple moments of normalcy. He was soulless, then hallucinating, then Dean’s gone)

But it’s not just Dean that’s gone. Dean AND Cas disappear. (Oh yeah, and Crowley takes Meg. And Kevin). Crowley snaps everyone out of the room, and then stands before Sam, who’s freaking out, and says “Sorry Moose, you should get help. You’ve got a lot on your plate right now. Looks like you are well and truly…on your own.” Then he snaps and he’s gone. Sam is left standing in the lab, black goo splattered everywhere, with nothing. No answers. No help. He’s on the verge of another breakdown. Just watching his body language, you can see this. He’s almost in tears, he’s spinning, looking around the room, breathing heavily.

Look at the last few sentences of that description. Sounds an awful lot like a panic attack, right? As someone with some experience in those, I can tell you it most likely was a panic attack, but...

We don’t know what happens after that. They don’t show us, instead showing us Dean and Cas in Purgatory. Obviously Sam left the building at some point. He’s not in a good place mentally, as evidenced by the little bit of pre-Amelia Sam we see at the beginning of Season 8.

Now, if this sounds a little off topic, it is. Bear with me.

We don’t know how long Kevin was with Crowley. He never gives as an exact number of months, as far as I can remember. We don’t know when during Sam’s year with Amelia Kevin escaped and started calling Sam, we only know he called and Sam didn’t answer. Because of this, most people seem to take it as Kevin started calling just a few weeks (or even days) after Sam met Amelia- but with what we know of how hard it is for Kevin to translate the tablets, we can safely assume that is was at least a few months, most likely longer.

Now, if I were Sam- an ex-hunter falling in love with a beautiful woman (no one can deny, Amelia is beautiful), who while not being the best person understand what I’m going through much better than other people- I would want to keep her safe from my past. If I’d also just lost everything I ever had, I would want to leave my past behind as well.

Which means not long after getting together with Amelia, Sam hid his old fake badges and extra phones, as well as probably everything related to hunting. He could have just tucked it all away in the trunk of the Impala, but clearly they were using the Impala as a car (cos that’s what she is, no offense, Dean) and likely would be using the trunk. So the trunk is off limits if he wants to keep things well hidden and really leave his past behind him. I think Sam most likely left those things at the cabin (Rufus’ cabin, right?) and never went back. Which means that when Kevin started calling, Sam couldn’t answer the phone. He had no way of knowing where Kevin was, if Kevin was alive, or that Kevin would escape on his own. All Sam knew was that everyone he loved was gone, that it hurt, and that he needed to distance himself from everything that reminded him of that pain in order for him to heal. In doing so, he inadvertently “abandoned” Kevin.

So yes, Sam “should have” answered his phone. He “should have” been there for Kevin and he wasn’t, because he was taking care of himself and his needs, which take priority over the wishes of a man he thinks is dead. So I ask again, how is Sam taking care of himself (and not being all-knowing [knowing Dean was alive] or seeing the future [that Kevin would escape and need his help]) betraying Dean?

I hope this doesn’t come across as angry, cos I’m not at all angry. I just get very passionate about this subject because I know what it’s like to do what’s best for me and my mental health, and be called selfish because of it. Calling someone selfish because they’re doing what’s best for them invalidates their thoughts, feelings, and experiences.

The show already does this to Sam on the regular, giving us Dean’s perspective on a lot of things- including the end of Season 7, where instead of focusing on Sam and his panic, the show jumps do Dean and Cas, making them being in Purgatory the thing people remember. That’s important, but Sam’s feelings are important, too, and by distracting us from that the show invalidates and belittles Sam’s panic, and leaves the audience wide open to agree when Dean blames Sam for things Sam could not have known or done anything about.

This got really long. Gonna stop talking now. If anyone wants to come discuss this with me, though, send me a message. My only requirement is that you be able to keep a level head.

#kenzi response #spn meta #my sweet selfless sam #coopeli831

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bibliophileiz · 6 years

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Review of Devil’s Bargain: Or, The Only Villain I like This Season is Sister Jo

Continuing my pattern of reviewing b*cklemming episodes as a coping mechanism, here are my thoughts on Supernatural’s latest episode “Devil’s Bargain.”

Sister Jo

I admit, I got worried when I saw that first overly-sexual grace draining scene, but overall I liked Sister Jo/Anael -- if for no other reason than that it gives Season 13 an actual good villain. (Also apparently there’s a nine-year’s-long fandom theory Anna is the angel Anael? I had no idea.) Now if all those testosteroned bozos would clear the stage for her, we might have a cool showdown at the end of the season.

She’s kind of a Crowley 2.0 in that she understands the art of manipulation and surviving by her wits. I have no doubt she could play both sides easily. There’s still some cagey dialogue, no doubt -- Jo using the phrase “cost efficient” right after saying she’s a pretty good businesswoman made me roll my eyes. But given how badly b*cklemming ran Crowley’s character into the ground last season, I’m surprised Anael’s as well written as she is. I’d love to see her go toe to toe with a newly-powered-up Rowena

I’d also love to see a scene between Anael and Cas in which Anael’s “negotiating” the return of “the king of heaven’s son.” She’s reading it like a hostage situation and Cas is reading it like she’s betrayed heaven by propelling Lucifer to the throne. It will also be very interesting to see how Cas, in that circumstance, would react to learning of Lucifer’s promise to restore the angels’ wings.

Speaking of....

The angels

If those six angels kneeling before the throne at the end are the only angels left, then I’m actually all for the angels (sans Cas) getting their wings back. I’ve felt for a while the angels are kind of toothless now. Remember when Cas was so terrifying back in Season 4 that one demon wouldn't even say his name, just called him “the end?” It was chilling.

If you still have a whole host of angels left, bringing the wings back would feel kind of old hat. But if there are only a handful left and most of those have wings because they’re serving Lucifer, that makes them a threat again without just rehashing old plots. And I especially like the idea of Anael flashing her wings at Cas and his truck.

Ketch

Why, why, why is Ketch back? WHY?

Also, why does he keep bringing the same dumb deal to the Winchesters? “Let’s work together! Huzzah!” He actually says “huzzah!” Cas knocking him out was my favorite part of the episode. If only he had stayed in the trunk.

Asmodeus has more confusing powers

Did Asmodeus mind-whammy Donatello? I feel like maybe he did, but I’m not going to lie, I stopped paying attention to the scene as soon as I realized it was between Donatello and Asmodeus (read: immediately). I vaguely remember thinking he did something I’ve never seen a Prince of Hell do before but I was concentrating really hard on CandyCrush, so who knows?

Who’s on first?

I did not ... understand the motel scene.

So ... Sam, Dean, and Cas corner Anael outside the motel and she leads them back to her and Lucifer’s motel room. She knocks on the motel door and Lucifer answers, only for Dean and Sam to step into the room.

Lucifer then turns around and walks to the back of the room, only to have his way blocked ... by Cas.

Who just appeared. Magically.

Where did Cas come from? Is there a door in the back of the motel room? Where does it lead to? Did Lucifer and Anael get adjoining rooms? Why did they need two rooms? They don’t sleep, and they seemed to be having pillow talk on one shared bed anyway. Does the door lead to a balcony? Did Cas climb up the balcony? Why didn’t we get to see that?

But wait, there’s more. While Lucifer is distracted torturing Team Free Will, Ketch bursts in and throws ... something ... that flashes in a way that would be dramatic and impressive if this were Friends, but instead is kind of a letdown in a show where flashing stuff usually means someone’s about to die because the flashing thing doesn’t do anything. It doesn’t affect Lucifer or Anael, who fly away, but it also doesn’t seem to affect, you know, any of the other three people in the room.

What was it? What was it supposed to do? Kill Lucifer? Incapacitate Lucifer? In that case, why doesn’t it kill or incapacitate Sam and Dean? Does it only work on angels? If so, why doesn’t it kill or incapacitate Cas?

How did Ketch even get out of the trunk? This is the only question anyone in the episode thinks to ask, and the answer is: “I’m Ketch.”

Well ok then.

Roller Skate Girl and Cake Boy

The meet cute at the beginning gave me serious Charmed vibes, probably because my dad saw it and commented the woman looked like Phoebe Halliwell. Anyway, I kind of want to see b*cklemming try and write a Hallmark movie now. I’d drunk-watch the hell out of that movie.

Donatello

At least there’s a point to him being back this time even if he was the most forgettable part of the episode.

Also, when Kevin gets to our world, what’s going to happen? Will he and Donatello both be prophets? Will their powers cancel each other out? Will one be The One and Only prophet and the other go back to being a normal nerd? The people demand answers!

Dean and Cas are married

Dean and Cas aggressively apologizing to each other is my jam. Also I loved the “We’re boned” “Epically” exchange, followed by Sam’s WTF face.

Magical Maguffin

Oh, we have an archangel blade now? Nice to have heard of that before. Who names these things?

I mean, we do already have a weapon that kills archangels. You know, the Lance of Michael, the one specifically created to kill an archangel, wielded by an archangel, and which is currently in the custody of our dashing heroes?There would have actually been a point to bringing Ketch back if he told Asmodeus about the lance, given Mary told him about it last season. And then there would have been a point to Asmodeus if he disguised himself as Cas or someting and snuck into the bunker to take it. But that would have been an effective use of the villains, and we can’t have that.

Of course, we all know why the archangel blade was really introduced....

The one we’ve been waiting for

The archangel Gabriel -- our world’s version of him -- is back.

So ... on the one hand, of all the “dead” characters to bring back, Gabriel is one of the ones who makes the most sense, given the way he died is a way we now know archangels don’t really die. (Unless I’m remembering wrong. Doesn’t Lucifer stab him with an angel blade?) On the other hand ....

Yeah, that’s too many characters back and too much plot twisting.

Admittedly, I was never personally invested in Gabriel. I like the character fine, and I think Richard Speight Jr. is a great director and actor and seems to be a sweet person. I was totally on board for an AU version of him hanging out with AU Cas or AU Michael. But I was happy for our version to stay dead.

Now, if it were Charlie who came back, I would be throwing confetti, doing back flips, and excusing whatever plot gymnastics it took to make that happen, so I understand the jubilation of Gabriel’s biggest fans, and if one of the two people reading this are in that number, I am happy for you guys, I really am.

But I am also very, very worried about where the season’s going because it’s more than halway over and we have the following to wrap up:

- Jack’s sinister (ish) powers and his attempts to control them. - AU Michael’s plan to invade. - Ketch’s unnecessary double agent plot. - Asmodeus’ attempts to seduce Jack to the Dark Side and take over Hell. - Lucifer’s takeover of Heaven and attempts to win over his son. - Possibly the angels’ wings coming back. - Possibly Rowena’s power-up. - Run-of-the-mill Monster of the Week episodes, like the Scooby Doo one we’ve got coming up.

And now the showrunners want to throw Gabriel and an assassination plot into the mix?

It’s just a lot. And it’s the fifth -- count ‘em, fifth -- “dead” character to come back this season. It’s starting to feel like Game of Thrones or a really weird soap opera.

I feel like the showrunners are just throwing everything at the wall to see what sticks and I don’t know how they plan to weave it all together. I guess they could save Rowena’s plot (incidentally the only one I really care about) for Season 14 and/or Wayward Sisters (neither of which have been greenlit yet as far as I know) which narrows it down a little but ... only a little.

The only way I can see it coming together is if the three separate archangel camps -- Camp Michael (AU angels), Camp Lucifer (Anael and remaining angels), and Camp Gabriel (Asmodeus, Ketch, and the demons) -- all come for Jack at once, and the Winchesters have to scramble to protect Jack and help him wield his powers against all of them.

Which is a cool idea on paper, but still a lot to juggle. Here’s to hoping Dabb and Co. can pull it off.

#supernatural spoilers #how i learned to stop worrying and tolerate b*cklemming #there is a lot going on this season #who invited ketch?#but sister jo is a badass and i want her hair #also this post is cautious about gabriel's return #that is not in any way meant to be taken as hate for the character who i really do like

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