#just want to monch monch crumch?

[forestslut]

i’m obsessed with my partner! they’re so cute i wish i could crawl inside them like a parasite <3

#do you ever feel so much love for someone that you just want to bite into their flesh? :) #rip open their chest cavity and eat their heart ? :) #just want to monch monch crumch? #hhnnngggh yeah #haha jk……… Unless 😳 #mine

[sharpen-jadescythe]

Meanwhile at the Vindicaar Cafeteria

💕 💞 ♥

Illidan: Oh, it's that Night Elf himbo guy with the dumb name who likes animals. Sharpy, something. Well, he was nice. Grr... maybe. Not a lot of that in this cruel, cruel life. I guess there's nothing wrong with saying hello. Sh-should I?

Sharpen: *monches little ravasaur-shaped chicken nuggies, a couple tables away*

Illidan: Bah! I patently do not enjoy the company of male Night Elves who put the lives of feckless fuzzy little creatures ahead of those who would fight the Legion, the true heroes who sacrificed everything for Azeroth.

Sharpen: *Innocently crumches a cute bowl of colorful Gnomish Charms cereal across the room, staring at nothing*

Illidan: But then again, why do I want him to tell me more about his rescued pets? More about how saving defenseless, sweet creatures is the most beautiful thing he knows how to do for our planet? While... while cozied up by the fire, wearing plaid footie pajamas, the kind with an innocent flap in the back, while it snows peacefully just beyond the frosted window of our Winterspring cottage and I cuddle him?

Sharpen: *peels open his little fruit cup*

Illidan: "NO!!!"

Entire cafeteria: *blinks at Illidan*

Illidan: Must resist... must not be tempted by that most sweetest bean... *snarls* A cruel test of my will indeed, like at the Black Temple. But this time I, Illidan Stormrage, am prepared.

Sharpen: *hunches his big muscled shoulders, leans over and uses a blue crayon to draw a tiny Azeroth and smiley faces on his paper placemat.*

Illidan: *blushing red* Hrm. Maybe if I just %#$! him rough in the %#$! while he happily prattles away, that'll be edgelord enough for me. Possible...

Sharpen: *the cute little blue crayon breaks*

Illidan: "I'VE GOT IT! I'VE GOT A CRAYON, SHARPEN!!" *races over*

Velen: 👀

#sweet-bean #i regret nothing