#just think critically about this stuff not every trans man wants to be lumped in with butch lesbians in every possible context | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

nothorses · 2 years

Text

I'm not really interested in engaging with some rando who thinks they deserve my time or energy just because they're mad enough at me.

I do, however, want to be very clear here on where I stand with these issues & the way I believe these things should be handled- not for the sake of my reputation (which honestly, who gives a shit)- but because I know there are people looking up to me & defending me over this stuff, and I want my example to be a decent one.

So, hi!

To my knowledge, the "complaints against black people" referenced here are against three specific harassers who happen to be black; not for anything actually related to black issues, but for the fact that these three people have been engaging in, encouraging, and leading a harassment campaign against me and several other prominent transmascs (along with a string of other trans people, black people, native american people, etc.) for the better part of a year now.

I absolutely understand that white people will commonly weaponize their whiteness to frame black people unfairly as aggressors, in order to provoke violence against them.

I have made every effort, on my part, to consider the situation carefully and ensure I'm not making any unfair accusations. I have chosen the names I've named because they've targeted me most consistently, and have been the source of the bulk of the violent comments and anons I've received over this.

If anyone believes the complaints I've raised against these three (witches-ofcolor, visibilityofcolor, and bifey) are unfair, I think that's valid. I don't care if people dislike me, block me, etc.; you don't owe me space in your life. I don't owe you mine.

I've just asked that folks look into the situation themselves to form their own opinions. I also insist that people do not attempt to contact any of these people on my behalf (or, preferably, at all).

I also want to point out that their harassment has not by any means targeted me exclusively, and most of what I've talked about wrt the situation has been their harassment of others.

The original callout post I am being accused of these things for defending is about a Mestizo trans man. At least two of the people they've lumped into this specific situation are also black. Another is mixed. Witches-ofcolor and visibilityofcolor (who regularly reblog each other's relevant posts in support) have routinely attempted to erase or outright deny these people's races, from referring to some of them as "white" regardless of their actual race/ethnicity, to deeming them "white-aligned" for being defended by a few white people, to calling one "oreo"- i.e., a racist slur.

I'm not here to tokenize people; I don't think it's fair to boil an argument down to "how oppressed is your side?". I point these things out because I think it's important that we acknowledge the trend here of questioning, erasing, and denying people of color's identities in order to make their "side" seem more legitimate. I don't think anyone gets to be the authority on what someone else's race "actually" is, especially not based on, y'know, internet drama.

That said:

If I have done or said something racist, please tell me. If I have attributed actions to a group unfairly, please tell me. If you feel I am racist, I would agree that being white makes me uniquely prone to racism- and please tell me what I'm doing wrong, and what is making you uncomfortable. Please be specific. Please include examples, to the best of your ability.

If I don't know what I'm doing wrong, I can't fix it; and I would very much like to avoid hurting anyone. I would very much like to continue working to unlearn racism, and to do my best to be an ally and accomplice to people of color. And I would like to undo any harm I've already caused, to the best of my ability.

I am also thinking for myself- and that means I am identifying when I believe criticism is being made in bad faith. I approach this with critical thought because I think it's important that I learn and understand for myself what racism looks like, how it works, and how to deconstruct (or at minimum, avoid supporting) it. Relying on the word of people of color without ever actually doing the work to understand it means that I will forever be relying on their emotional labor; and I don't think that's fair, or helpful.

Thinking critically, apologizing when I turn out to be wrong, and working to do better is about the best I or anyone else can do. You don't have to be cool with every conclusion I come to, but I think it's fair to ask that people look into things themselves and avoid sending harassment, spreading rumors, or making public threats of violence.

#racism #witches-ofcolor #visibilityofcolor #w-oc #voc

64 notes · View notes

crazygaysex · 3 years

Text

i think i got trapped in a diet terf feedback loop on tiktok for a while there. very like, All Men Suck and Incapabel of Human Critical Thought Or Empathy type of stuff. it does feel very good at first to vilify an entire group of people for the ways you feel humiliated by hpw you’ve been socialized/treated and to feel superior to them but it’s counterproductive and not at all nuanced as it turns out. it truly does just validate the behavior of the worst men out of them

i feel kinda guilty for the amount of “man bad” sort of shit i’ve spouted in turn for some months there when i was really probably just mad about how a few men have treated me personally likethere’s clearly like a shit ton different varieties of man experience which make it difficult to make general statements like that that lump queer men, men of color etc all under that umbrella of Bad, which if ur white is not a great look, and does def tread into terf territory trying to exclude trans men from this on the basis they’re socialized as women or whatever

i hope nothig i said during that time came across that badly, cause i was rly just trying 2 work thru my feelingd about dating straight guys and 2 communicate that i only want to be with other queers and not cishet dudes anymroe (went thru a moment where i thought i was a enby lesbian bc of the masterdoc/not really Loving dating cishet boys in my life ever but was like well i would def date bi men or trans men or whateverelse though cause being queer we would have an Understanding of sorts,so as it turns out am just a Queer 4 Queers, comfortably settled for the moment with genderfluid/bisexual if anyone were to ask. but also every relationship i am in especially rn is super homo andgay legally)

i dunno i’ve bene on a Journey a Metamorphosis if you will this year in Januaryi was crying in the shower a lot cause i was convinced i was a lesbian after reading the masterdoc and watching the contrapoints shame video on loop and didnt know wat to do about my bf at the time.. i like fundamentally do not relate with any version of myself before like march. i do feel a lot freer now not constantly worrying if straight guys think im attractive or watever and its a genuine rrlief to not seek them out romantically ever again, which was truly nerve wracking and sometimes terrible and/or agonizing lol i think i just am not fulfilled by that relationship dynamic, not that men are bad or evil, my ex bf is a genuinely good guy. i am simplie a lot more confident not trying to be a GirlFriend and more comfortable being w another queer person. like this is the key emotional connection missing from all my relationship w cishet guys apparently. it hit me like a goddam bus genuinelyi thought everybody was putting on airs or delusional when they talked about being in love before this so

but anywasy moral of the story is it’s nonsensical to base your views on entire groups of people off emotionally satisfying generalized statements and projections of your own experience crazy rigth! so be careful out there i guess! i learnt my lesson human experience is obviously so extremely nuanced that making straight-faced blanket statements ever is not helpful and very bad for your own critical thinking skills/worldview and I am Not Immune

1 note · View note