#just a rant posr nothing to see here :)

[therewithinthestars]

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#just a rant posr nothing to see here :) #tw for self destructive behaviours for anyone who might read #but god not to romanticize unhealthy coping mechanisms but i hateee i hate i hate how good they feel #how much i miss them every fking winter or something and how hard it is to cope and not to give in #i wasn't even doitthat bad mentally i dont feel like i am?? and yet it always comes back and i want to do all the things i promised myself #not to do and there's noone but me really keeping me in check and im really really not a responsible person i give into my whims and wants #very easily and escapism feels so good but it's not enough and i want more and i know it's really really really not good for me in the long #run yet i still have these fcking.... i don't even know. why am i like this?????? it's tiring fighting of self destructiveness when you want #nothing else more ><<<<< fuckin stupid ass situation