#je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

you can start learning anything you always wanted at any point in your life. & how nice it is to remember that

#a new language a new instrument.. you can even learn how to sing opera if you wish #learn how to knit socks. or to build a wooden chair #or simply going to school for something you just found out you love at age 35 #go to a goddamn tango class!!!! if you that’s what you want #you can learn anything!! anything!!! & there’s teachers everywhere also #je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

i wish i didn’t spend so many years putting so much effort into hiding myself from the world i should probably go sit on a park bench or something idk!!!!!!

#i need to be actively seen now #je.txt #new year’s crisis

[diabolicjoy]

my tumblr is like if loneliness had a little journal but it is very ashamed of its feelings

#(complain and cry and delete) #je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

I can finally cross this beautiful vintage lamp off my wishlist ^_^ I’ve been meaning to get one since I moved to my own room but they’re so pricey thanks to the instagram resellers lol (like, +350 reais) but my mom found the exact one that I wanted on a thrift store for only 30!!! it was caked with layers and layers of dust. anyway, I just need some yellow light now. I unraveled some old mittens that I knitted last year, they didn’t fit me well & the colorwork was so wonky, so I’m reusing the yarn to make a pair of socks, I’m finishing the second one rn. the coffee is so yummy. and my table is looking awful, ik

#i’ve been struggling with the lamps in my room for a while now LOL iykyk #visual diary #je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

why do i always expect hostility from people. why am i always preparing myself for the worst. why is being treated kindly such a surprise when it comes to me. i’m kind. that’s proof enough that anyone else can be too. yet

#when ppl been taking advantage of your niceness all your life… #and i always fell for it #life would be so much easier now and i would leave my house so much more if i wasn’t expecting the worst from people #all the time #je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

#it’s saturday night i’m home and it’s raining #je.txt #Spotify

[diabolicjoy]

a little hot take but the knit / crochet community on youtube and tiktok are a little insane nowadays... these ‘crocheting X number of pieces in 24h’ / ‘what I knit in a month (+30 different pieces)’ videos.. are absolutely insane. I think ppl need to reevaluate why they’re doing this... it’s different if they have a store of their own to sell finished pieces, but otherwise, do they wear all that? do they just shove it back in the closet, piling up? do they really need to buy THAT much yarn every week? these hauls showing a crazy number of skeins that are just accumulating dust on the shelf... idk maybe it’s just me. but some of these things feels like it’s done majorly to create ‘content’ online which is lame as hell. take your time... take care of your hands too. do it bc you like it and not to get attention from strangers/crazy number of views. jesus. Ugh it’s just the usual overconsumption of it all !!

#it’s supposed to be >slow fashion< right? #Just stop thinking abt numbers!!! this is supposed to be fun!!!! #ik I said like 2 days ago that I don’t post hot takes on this blog but youtube keep recommending me videos like these.. #je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

they should invent a knitting that allows you to eat soup & read a book at the same time tbh

#je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

my problem is that i'll never deny myself a nap. or one more chapter. and a little treat

#je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

I remember how fun and exciting it was to get home after school and turn on my computer and I would play club penguin for a while and check all the glee news blogs and I would talk to a few of my close friends and how it all would end the second I decided to turned it off to go do something else. now it’s so constant and so fucking exhausting it feels like I’m socializing against my will and it’s so tiring and it’s on my pocket and I can’t turn it off and it never ends. I know personal information about people I know irl that I never asked or wanted to know and normal people are monetizing their personal lives and it’s scary and honestly boring. I can’t get to be excited about getting home and turning on my computer anymore and club penguin is dead and the world is crumbling before my eyes

#je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

I want to buy a pottery wheel so badly, I’ve been learning pottery for 2 years now and I still only have access to a wheel like once or twice a month… (I have classes once a week for two hours and some days I only go there to finish or paint pieces and there’s not much time left to use the wheel properly) I’ve been practicing a lot when I can and I truly think I’m so much better at it now :’) there’s only like one brand producing good wheels in my country and they’re expen$ive. so far I have 250/4000 but at least that’s something. hopefully on christmas. or my birthday next year. I just want to make this pottery thing work because I love it so much but this industry where I live is so limited and elitist it’s so discouraging

#je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

my biggest problem is that i’ve always been such a meek + shy + submissive person and every time that i try to stand up for myself or be more assertive and i get a bad reaction i just feel like the worst person in the world and that all my kindness was a farce all along. do you guys think that’s curable ❤️

#je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

i actually really dislike the look of chunky yarn but my first finished knitting project was a chunky vest that i’ve never wore in my life because it’s just so. chunky. so i plan on unraveling it and making a few cabled beanies with it (maybe two? and a smaller one if there’s enough yarn left). the yarn is really soft and pretty and i don’t want it to be forgotten in my closet unused. :)

#posting this on here so i don’t forget to do it!!!! #i’m knitting a pair of mittens right now so after i’m finished with those i’ll start the unraveling #there’s also that one cat crochet sweater that i actually made around the same time as that vest #i also never wore it bc i picked THE WRONG YARN. i knew nothing about it and what they’re made of and the purpose of each type of fiber etc #and i used cotton yarn. for a sweater. worsted (?) cotton yarn…. jesus. it’s SO HEAVY and suffocating #maybe i’ll turn into a tote bag? maybe a pillowcase? just unraveling the sleeves and the top #je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

you WILL

#i’ve been in an incessant quest for this image for MONTHS and my sister finally found it a few days ago.. #all credits to @/scenequeeenmememachine on ig for creating this beauty #je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

everytime i see a picture of mary-kate and ashley i see me and my twin sister in them and it’s beautiful and unique and it’s always been us two. we know what it’s like to stand next to each other on the sidewalk better than anyone!!!!

#je.txt

[diabolicjoy]

at least it’s morning again and it’s quiet and i’m drinking my coffee

#je.txt