#jay i took a million years to answer this i'm sorry 😭😭😭

[mushiemadarame]

TRICK OR TREAT :3333 this is the only gif i have to hand that i don't think i've already posted somewhere so :3

aaaaaaaaaaaaaa that gif Jay!!! another day another unexplainable reason for you not to have posted it

anyway, you are my favourite person so you get....... a wip fic you've already read (exclusively) 😅

~

“Hey, look at this!” Chay pulls Macau out of his thoughts with an elbow to the side. They’re lying on the grass sharing a pair of earphones from which a familiar voice that Macau can’t quite place drifts with a slow, melancholic tune. The warm early afternoon sun kisses their noses and cheeks. Tankhun’s carp pond is not far from where they lay and if he turns his head a little, Macau can see that his eldest cousin is currently feeding the fish. He’s accompanied by the usual two bodyguards he drags everywhere with him and mumbling in discontent. Even turned away, Macau doesn’t miss the displeased glances he keeps sending their way.

When Chay flips his phone’s screen in Macau’s direction, he forgets about Tankhun and concentrates on the picture he's being shown. Cutesy drawings of doughnuts and coffee cups dance across a bright pink background in front of his eyes. “What am I looking at?”

“It’s a new café,” Chay explains excitedly. “It’s just around the corner from here and it’s having a big opening tomorrow morning. We should definitely go.”

Macau mentally flips through his weekly schedule, trying to recall what day it is. Tuesday. And tomorrow’s Wednesday. Macau has classes until 12:30 on Wednesdays. “Sorry, Chay, I can’t,” he says, “I have classes on Wednesdays.”

Porchay’s face falls and he pulls back his phone. “Don’t worry about it,” he says, faking detachment.

Macau looks at him from the side, trying to discern if it’s finally the right moment to bring up the subject. He’s not entirely sure, but he tries anyway. “What about you, dude?” He starts flippantly. “What do you do in the mornings? I’m pretty sure you just cry and lament the fact that your most fun friend isn’t there, but I could be wrong.”

Chay snorts. Macau is glad to see the smile return to his mouth. “You know, just…” he replies and goes a bit shy, his smile turning bashful. When he continues, it sounds hesitant. “... waste time.” Macau sees the fingers of Porchay’s left hand twitch slightly on his chest where he’s resting it and thinks of the guitar case in Chay’s room. That can’t be right, though, it hasn’t moved even one-tenth of an inch during the entire time they’ve been hanging out together and if Macau hadn't already noticed that, the thick layer of dust all over it would be a dead giveaway of its disuse.

“So you do cry about me being gone,” he jokes again and nudges Chay’s shoulder with his own.

Chay laughs. It had taken Macau a while to pull that specific reaction of out him. Even though Porchay comes off as quiet and unassuming at first, he’s actually a very guarded person. Every time Macau manages to make him laugh, it feels like a reward and the sound of it never fails to put Macau in a mischievous mood to try and get more out of him.

“Ew, gross, as if!” Chay squeals and scurries away to get out of reach of Macau’s hands which he’s trying to shove under Chay’s armpits. They roll a bit in the grass before Macau decides he’s too lazy to keep going and they both settle back into their supine positions with a sigh.

“I honestly just waste time,” Chay continues after a couple of minutes of silence which Macau thought meant the conversation was already over. His smile is dimmer, just a remnant of their previous laughter, and his eyes are lost staring in the distance above as they cloud with whatever Porchay is thinking of.

Macau scrutinizes the side of his face but he can’t begin to read what’s going on in Porchay’s brain. In moments like these, he feels a little like decoration among the mess of Porchay’s life. He’s there, next to all the other things Porchay wants and cherishes but if he wasn’t, Porchay probably wouldn’t notice, not right away at least. It makes Macau a bit lonely but all the more determined to dig deeper, move some of the useless stuff around and get to a place where Chay will want to play with him first. It’s a childish feeling, the kind that was burned out of him the first time Vegas prioritised Macau’s attention and was left with bruises for the trouble. He’s gone, he’s gone, he’s gone, Macau thinks and then shakes himself out of his trance when the feeling starts getting a little too big for his ribcage to keep it all in.

“How come you’re not in university?” Macau tries to sport his most casual tone. “And don’t say you don’t have the smarts for it,” ─ that was the excuse Porchay had improvised when one of the cooks had asked that one time, it took three days for Macau to convince Chay to go back to eating in the kitchens after that one ─ “I’ve seen you shake your head whenever I botch my Statistics homework, you can’t fool me.”

Chay breathes out a resigned sigh and closes his eyes. He skips to the next song on his phone before speaking, Macau doesn't recognise this one. "I did pass the first few tests, actually," he says, "but I skipped the last one I was supposed to take."

Macau nudges him again, prompting him to continue but Porchay doesn't. "Why didn't you?" he asks then.

Chay shrugs and looks away. His fingers are tangling and untangling with each other where he’s resting his hands on his chest. “I didn’t really see a reason to anymore.” Macau doesn’t prod, but he’s hoping the silence will make Chay elaborate on his own. “Porsche didn’t like that very much,” he eventually continues, “When he found out, he was furious. He’s never shouted at me like that before.” At that, he gives a mirthless laugh. “I don’t even know if he was madder about me not telling him or me not going to university.” Macau doesn’t find it very funny, but he keeps silent. “I’m still not sure how he found out. He said Kinn told him but I don’t know where he got it from.”

Macau supposes Kinn might have noticed a missing tuition somewhere at some point, but he can tell Chay doesn’t really care all that much. He can tell that the reason Chay told him isn’t the whole story but going by Chay’s mood, this isn’t the right time to ask for more. “What were you gonna study?” he asks instead, hoping that’s tangential enough that Chay won’t mind answering. He realises that’s not the case when Chay immediately tenses and sits up with an abrupt move.

“Music,” he says curtly and gets on his feet. He pockets his earphone and brushes the legs of his pants from the grassy residue of their lie down. “Do you wanna go see what they’re making for dinner?” The deliberate change of subject isn’t lost on Macau. “Maybe they still have some leftover mango from yesterday’s cheesecake.”

Macau lets it slide, making yet another addition to the list of things Porchay doesn’t want to share. Later, he promises himself, We’ve got time.

#askeetie asks #ask meme #khaotunq #jay i took a million years to answer this i'm sorry 😭😭😭 #mushiewrites