#ive just noticed that sometimes if you tell people youve done something theyll feel more comfortable doing it themselves | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

thedisablednaturalist · 2 months

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I bought a Keffiyeh so I can identify myself as a supporter of Palestinians offline, and also because I wanted to support a Palestinian owned business. Unfortunately Hirbawi has not had any in stock since October according to Reddit which is understandable considering the circumstances. I was pointed towards HandMadePalestine instead which utilizes partners in the states to keep business flowing outside of Palestine. Profits go towards planting trees in Palestine and towards supporting Palestinian artisans.

The Kieffyeh I received is absolutely gorgeous and soft and light and seems to have been lightly perfumed as well. I was hoping to use it to keep the sun off during field work but now I don't want to get it dirty.

The store has so many other items as well such as dates, perfumes, jewelry, bags, sculptures, and more! Shipping only took about 3 days if that's important to you.

Please support this business and others like it!

#wrenfea.exe #I got the traditional black and white one #the perfume is a little strong so I'm letting it air out before I wear it #I havent seen any posts mentioning handmadeinpalestine so I wanted to use my platform to boost it #palestine #free palestine #from the river to the sea palestine will be free #feel free to add more palestinian owned businesses to this post!#not posting this to like show off or anything #ive just noticed that sometimes if you tell people youve done something theyll feel more comfortable doing it themselves #rather than if you just tell them about it

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if-the-crown-fits-translate-it · 3 years

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Discord pt 96

[Date: 18/03, 11:00 PM GMT - 18/03, 11:33 PM GMT]

[CW for self-harm]

fetch: “...

so um.

slight change in plans.

im not home yet. and i don't think i will be tonight.”

kateza affectionate: “hey fetch

sorry about the sports question earlier

are you at least somewhere safe?”

fetch: “for the time being, yeah.

i um

just got jumped”

kateza affectionate: “jesus”

fetch: “intolerant assholes saw my tail.”

kateza affectionate: “oh no :( i'm sorry”

Maxwell: “oh shit you okay?”

fetch: “and i really don't feel safe going home when I'm a target. i can't put em on max's back either.”

Maxwell: “why would they bother me?”

fetch: “youre a hybrid too.”

Maxwell: “aw shit not those types of people”

fetch: “and they weren't your average schoolyard bullies. they said that if they saw me again they'd bring their guns.”

kateza affectionate: “...”

fetch: “i got lucky with this being a knife fight.”

kateza affectionate: “jesus christ i'm so sorry fetch”

Maxwell: “bitch id fucking bite their fingers off”

fetch: “im okay for now. bleeding is minimal. gas station worker pretty much all but assured my safety. pretty sure she's a hybrid too but im not noticing anything right away.”

kateza affectionate: “where did they get you?”

Maxwell: “....”

fetch: “out by the park not too far from here. i was ready to go back home i really was and now this happens.

fuck me.

so sorry but uh. yeah i dont think i'll be home tonight. im sorry.”

kateza affectionate: “you said it was a knife fight. i meant more did they actually like... stab you or slice you”

fetch: “a couple dices here n there. nothing major.”

kateza affectionate: “at least its not worse

i'm glad that it wasn't worse

fetch: “yeah. me too.

they uh. pulled on the laurel too. really fucking hurt.”

Maxwell: “so youve got cuts right?”

fetch: “only a few. gas station lady gave me bandages for em”

Maxwell: “hm...one sec

hey fetch where does mona keep the scissors?”

fetch: “no clue??? why???”

Maxwell: “she used those to cut the bud last night right?”

fetch: “i wouldn't know, i was on the streets”

Maxwell: “crap....

theyll have to do”

fetch: “okay okay what are you trying to do with scissors

first of all”

Maxwell: “something that could help”

fetch: “????????”

Maxwell: “uhhhhhh fucking ice....found it!”

fetch: “quit being vague and just tell me”

Maxwell: “its fine dont worry”

fetch: “just tell me what it is you're doing please”

Maxwell: “....

youve got cuts and scraps”

fetch: “yeah? and?”

Maxwell: “they could be dirty or something when you come home tomorrow

and i....wanna make sure it'll heal”

fetch: “so how are scissors going to help”

Maxwell: “theres this....old recipe...that could help

and i need scissors to get the 'ingredients'”

fetch: “if you're going to try to cut your laurel im going to ask you to stop right now.”

Maxwell: “.....what makes you think im gonna do that--”

fetch: “you are, arent you. youre thinking about it.

max. all thats going to do is hurt you.”

Maxwell: “but itll help you”

fetch: “i don't want your help if you're going to hurt yourself.”

Maxwell: “look I've already held ice to it its fine”

fetch: “!¡ꖎᒷᔑᓭᒷ⋮⚍ᓭℸ̣ ꖎᒷᔑ⍊ᒷ╎ℸ̣ ᔑꖎ𝙹リᒷ.” [Please just leave it alone.]

Maxwell: “just...one sec

.....okay so”

fetch: “ᒲᔑ̇/ d𝙹𝙹⚍∷eaꖎ╎⨅ᒷ∴⍑ᔑt ᓵ𝙹⚍ꖎ↸hᔑ!¡!¡ᒷリ╎⎓𝙹⚍ᓵ⚍ℸ̣ ╎ℸ̣.” [Max do you realize what could happen if you cut ̣it.]

Maxwell: “didn't hurt as bad”

fetch: “max.”

fetch: “i told you i don't want your help if you're hurting yourself. jesus christ don't argue with me on this.”

Maxwell: “.....”

kateza: “i mean, maybe don't snap at him if he is trying to help

but

it's not good to let yourself bleed to stop someone's pain.”

Maxwell: “its fine its the white shit again thats what happens”

fetch: “if it hurts you, i don't want it helping me. ive hurt you enough.”

Maxwell: “and the flowers dont wilt so it'll stay healthy till you come home”

Maxwell: “You would have done the same and I know it

Pot marigolds can help with healing wounds, like cuts and scraps and can sometimes help with bleeding and certain infections

I've got plenty to spare”

fetch: “at least i have a little bit of self preservation. i know you care about me and i care about you too which is why im staying away and i don't want you hurting yourself to help someone ∴⍑𝙹 ╎ᓭリℸ ̣ ☊⍜⋔⟟⋏☌ ⏚⏃☊☍.” [Who isnt coming back.]

Maxwell: “but that's exactly what youre doing right now!”

“you staying away is only hurting yourself and I know you can defend yourself

you dont need anyone to protect you i know that

but that doesnt mean we still dont worry”

Maxwell: “you could be fucking invincible and we'd all still worry if you got a scrap from a rose bush

thats how friends are fetch....”

fetch: “you're allowed to be worried for me. im worried for me. but you shouldn't go on impulse cutting off bits of a thing thats connected to your brain just to help me when I'm not even there.”

Maxwell: “we've already established that all it does is hurt a bit when I cut it off”

fetch: “i don't care how much it does or doesn't hurt max. it's still hurting you and that's what im so desperately trying to avoid.”

Maxwell: “the flowers dont wilt its fine if it doesnt work then I know i wont ever need to do it again”

[kateza: “i do not like the imagery of fetch tearing someone's throat out”]

fetch: “╎ ↸𝙹.” [I do.]

Jack: “Maxwell I'm pretty sure you aren't going to get to try it

you'll be too page'd out”

Maxwell: “no its fine”

Jack: “its literally. its literally not fine.”

kateza: “max... max, can you please stop trying to downplay what’s going on?”

fetch: “i think im getting a little worked up and max, i don't want to take it out on you. im going to say this one last time: don't fucking hurt yourself for me.

i'm gonna go now.”

[Jack: “good luck Fetch, if someone else jumps you just go fucking wild”]

fetch: “𝙹⍑, ↸𝙹リ'ℸ ̣ ⎓⚍ᓵꖌ╎リ⊣ ℸ ̣ ᒷᒲ!¡ℸ ̣ ᒲᒷ.” [Oh, don't fucking tempt me.]

[After fetch leaves, Maxwell starts on the recipe to prepare the marigolds from his metal circuit. Everyone ponders how and if this will work because they are metal petals.

Maxwell: "....pot marigolds can be used to make a type of tea the tea can be used to help with cuts, scraps, scars and general wound healing. It can also sometimes be helpful in stopping blood from flowing from the cuts and certain inflammatory injuries...."]

#on:discord #by:maxwell #by:fetch #if the crown fits

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cardigans-and-bowties · 6 years

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While I’m making long, rambling personal posts, why not talk gender

I remember thinking that I wish I was more open on tumblr or a journal or anything about my sexuality. I think the same thing about gender... but Im still afraid to put it down somewhere to an extent.

It’s so hard to parse through everything when youve been told for so long that you have to be a certain way. I wouldn’t say I was particularly girly growing up, save for Disney movies and loving animals - neither of which make sense to gender. I wasnt really into make-up. I was “allowed” to wear it in 6th or 7th grade but (despite being given it at holidays by certain family members) did not care for it. I wore pretty much whatever but my stepmom cared a ton about clothes and my cousin would pick on me about clothes.

This insecurity regarding clothes and make-up has fucked a lot. There was a lot of thinking that I was ugly and bad at make-up when I did wear it. When I started wearing it regularly in high school, I’d only wear certain kinds of make-up because I thought I was just bad at doing it any other way. I was equally bad at doing it other ways - I was just used to my face looking that way. The times after high school that I’ve done make-up consistently, as much as I wanted it to be “for me”, a lot of it was feeling like people would think I was ugly or tired or like a 12 year old without it.

Sometimes I really am feeling it. But more times, I feel like a clown. Sometimes it is nice, but a lot of the time I just end up feeling weird and ignoring it.

A lot of the time, especially when I was younger, I really don’t know why I picked certain clothes. But I know that how I specifically looked in them was not something I had a full picture of.

Honestly saying most of this makes me feel so fucking weird. I dissociate a lot. I was depersonalized a lot. I don’t remember a lot of what I thought about myself because I didn’t think anything about myself. Am I making shit up at that point? I am not about to go into a spiral like that.

There was a period Sophomore/Junior year of college where I wore dresses and make-up a lot. I thought that I didn’t like wearing certain things because I thought I was fat or ugly - which maybe wasn’t entirely untrue - but I told myself that negative thoughts about my body was bad. And truth be told, at that point I looked super cute in those clothes. If I didnt think about the fact that it was me in those clothes, nothing would be wrong with it. I was thinner than I’d been (and have been since then). I didnt have a bad face - but I still felt bad. I just thought I was fucked up and Bad™ and didn’t have words for it so I chalked it up to me thinking I was fat and ugly. So I wore those so I could condition myself to feel less bad about it. Eventually I was sure enough that I could wear more clothes that I liked without worrying about other people and as I’ve gone more that direction, I’ve gone more androgynous with hints of femininity.

I’ve been trying to wear just what makes me happy (which is fucking hard - this post doesnt even really touch that mess). And I definitely gravitate towards more neutral things. I do wear feminine things sometimes - sometimes it’s fun but it’s more like dress-up.. It’s not me, it’s just a fun thing to do occasionally. When I do wear make-up (like cat-eyes and eyeshadow), it’s in that dress-up context or when I’m dressed more neutral/masculine and feel like the femininity gives it a good contrast. Or when I feel like looking like a 2000s emo kid (eyeliner all around).. mostly that tbh. I still feel the need to wear it in some contexts. For instance, I found this awesome outfit for a wedding I went to. A simple patterned button up and guys pants - so I thought id wear make-up for that contrast (but mostly bc I was seeing people at the event). At first I felt good about it, but more in the dress-up kind of way - it was just fun. But before we even got to the event, I really hated it. It was a mask to make the people around me feel comfortable. And I took some really cute pictures that day! I just wish I’d worn less or no make-up.

I don’t even know how to approach body stuff. CLOTHES were hard to figure out because I have felt so separate from my body - Imagine trying to figure out my body. The only times I’ve liked how my boobs look has been in a performative context. My boobs had to look like x y z because theyre boobs and theyve got to be presentable (??? yeah I know it makes no sense - a lot of engrained shit doesnt make sense). When I bind, I feel comfortable with how I look with myself. But I get scared to go out because I don’t want people to notice BECAUSE it’s different. They will notice it’s different and say something about it. And its not like “oh no - theyll think I dont have boobs” - its about them noticing something is different and asking me why Im doing it. Or I even get scared of positive attention. I don’t want people to notice if I start binding or dressing differently. I REALLY wish I could just do and try different things with that and just have no one say anything about it. Like compliments are fine but noting that its different or asking questions is just incredibly uncomfortable.

Words are a bit easier to talk about. Ive ignored discomfort, just like Ive ignored a lot of discomfort. I know that feminine language sounds weird and fake. But Masculine language is largely just as weird. I’m not a “girl”, I’m not pretty, I’m sure as fuck not a “woman”, but I’m not a “boy” and definitely not a “man”... but sometimes I can get behind “boi” (why is that more neutral in my head? I dont know) and “handsome” and I’m mostly always down with “cute”. I don’t even really like feminine pronouns. They feel fake - it’s just convenient and asserting neutral pronouns just sounds like way more explaining that I want to have to do.

My name is harder to talk about though. “Rebekah” makes me feel like I’m supposed to be Amish or have braided pigtails or something. “Bekah” is okay - but mostly because my friends use it and it’s a lot nicer than “Rebekah”. “Bek” has specific connotations to specific people and I don’t think I could use that as my primary name. So Mostly I feel kinda weird about the name situation. But I sure as fuck wouldn’t tell my family if I wanted to change it. I’m not even out as not-straight to most of them. I don’t even want to think about that. Honestly I can’t imagine trying to implement that kind of change. I don’t like the idea of people potentially asking questions about why Im binding - this is a whole nother level.

Sometimes I think maybe I should just shove everything down. Just dress really femme - hell, buy a wig - and just make myself be super feminine... maybe Ill just stop thinking about it then. But I know thats not how life works. Repressing has always just brought more shit to deal with.

#personal #gender #its 5am and i have Fellings

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samanthasroberts · 7 years

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How To Deal With Meeting Bae’s Family When You Have Horrible Anxiety

I haveanxiety, baby. Crippling, not-cute, debilitatingANXIETY.

I might as well wear a T-shirt that says, Talk ~anxiety~ to me because I indulge in that anxious talk much more than I indulge in that dirty talk.

Sometimes, when Im drinking by myself at the bar, Ill gaze at those laid back girlswith their bohemian beach wavescasually cascading down their sun-kissed backs, meeting their boyfriends family for the first time and Im sick with jealousy.

I just want to be a non-anxious girl who doesnt wear makeup,authentically enjoys yoga, rolls out of bed and throws on a braless, side-boob dress and puts the frenetic energy of a New York City subway gorgeously at ease with my magnetic, carefree swagger.

But, no. Im actually an acutely raven-haired, snow-white, pale-skinned, hyperactive mascara lesbian, all big anxious eyes, caffeine-shaky lips and nerves.

My leg is inexplicably shaking as a write this. Is something ANXIOUS about to happen?

Nah, girl. Its a boring Tuesday in lower Manhattan. Im just feeling things because I dont know how to not feel things.

Im just feeling things because I dont know how to not feel things.

But I adore love. People who suffer from anxiety and depression tend to fiercelylove because were glutenous in the feels department, like out of control chocolate addicts who just cant help but devour a box of Godiva in one sitting.

People with anxiety tend to fiercely love because were glutenous in the feels department.

We recklessly dive into the emotional pools, whether its the anxiety pool, the depressed pool or the love pool.

Two anxious/depressed entities swimming in the love pool is a powerful force of nature (not necessarily a healthy force of nature,but theyre still a forceto be reckoned with).

Social anxiety is the worst when youre dating someone new. Because, all of a sudden, youre forced to ~socialize~ with their people.

Its probably really good for us to crawl out from under the covers and mingle with fresh personalities, but damn, is it harrowing.

But ya know, kittens, if we want love so bad, were going to have figure out a way to deal with our social anxiety.

So today, together, like two long lost, anxious sisters, were going to navigate the dark and stormy waters of dating with social anxiety.

Last week, we talked about dealing with meeting your significant others friends with social anxiety. And this week, were going to talk about the collectively feared meeting of the family.

Iknow this one is tough. Because the thing is, when you love someone something fierce, you want to be close their family. You want to be loved, accepted and celebrated by them.

But how the hell do you get there when youre feeling irrepressibly shy?

Now that Im a smug 30-year-old, I can tell you Ive learned a thing or two in my time here on this cruel, cold planet earth. At this point, Ive become such a ferocious expert in charming a significant others family, I can do it with the grace and ease of a ballerina.

So, if the leg-shaking, former over-drinker due to her extreme shyness, bug-eyed, noticeably quiet girl has learned to deal with meeting the SOs fam, so can you.

Here is my basic beginners guideline. Message me, if you have more questions, for I am your anxious lesbian big sister. And I amalways here for you.

1. Be more polite than the Queen of England.

Its OKto be a little shy. But the trouble with being shy is this: Shy can sometimes be misinterpreted as bitchy.

Iknow thats not the case, and you know thats not the case. But does baes family know thats not the case?

Unless they have a mastersin psychology, no. They dont. So you need to be over-the-top polite.

Make sure you look everyone you meet in the eye, smile and firmly shake their hands. Say sweet, polite, sugary things like, So LOVELY to meet you!

People can handle quiet, as long as youre a polite quiet.Channel your inner Kate Middleton, and act like a god damn royal.

Channel your inner Kate Middleton, and act like a god damn royal.

It will distract everyone from your palpable anxiety. And if they do notice your trembling hands, theyll know its because youre nervous fromtrying to impressthem.

And theyll be inclined to love back anyone who loves their gorgeous, perfect child.

2. Take the piece of cake, no matter what allergies you have.

I dont care if youre on the Atkins Diet. I dont give a shit about your gluten allergy. I dont care if youre going to go into paralytic shock from all of the sugar youre eating.

If youre offered a piece of cake, take it. If youre worried youre going to shut down or come across as rude, the best way to put a buffer between your lack of conversation participation is to take the fucking cake when its offered, eat it and gush about how ~amazing~ it is.

You have ONE chance to make a good impression, you hear me? Dont blow it by being a bitch about the food.

Eat the cake today, and save thediet for every other boring day of your life.

Whats a night of irritable bowels over family acceptance for life?

3. Ask them questions about their lives.

OK,so you dont know what the hell to say. Youre tongue-tied, your mouth is dry, your fingers are shaking, you really want a cigarette (even if you dont smoke) and you just want to crawl into a hole and hide.

Take a deep breath right now. Channel your inner California babe.

Ill visualize myself as some sort of calm, hippie, wild-haired Cali girl with golden sand sprinkled across my bare feet and Ill breathe like a real yogi. It helps.

After youve done your visualization and have calmed down a bit, ask their family questions about themselves. Ask them where theyre from, what they do for work, what theyre passionate about and how they made that cake so mouthwatering.

Trust me, everyone loves to talk about themselves. Were all vain, and were all a bit self-obsessed. Let the human condition work to your advantage.

4. Offer to help clean up.

If youre shy, your in with the fam is being of service. Dont bitch about this one, girls. No one is more useless than yours truly.

I dont even know how to load a dishwasher correctly. I dont know how to roast a chicken. I dont know how to iron my linen dresses.

But you know what? When I meet baes family, I channel my inner domestic goddess and I help clean up like Im a god damn professional.

It gets you out of conversation, but still makes you seem amazing, engaged and helpful.

So, stop worrying about your broken nail, and get down and dirty with those dishes, babe! Chipped nail polish today, manis and xanis tomorrow.

Chipped nail polish today, manis and xanis tomorrow.

5. Have a glass of wine, for Christs sake.

Now is not the time to be a prim bitch. Have a glass of wine (just one, two max) and let your hair down a bit.

It will socially lubricate you so youre not a stiff Stepford wife from Greenwich, Connecticut when you arrive on the family frontier for the first time.

Dont have more than two, or else that booze will quickly turn on you. An anxiety-ridden drunk is weird. Its uncomfortable.

But an anxiety-ridden buzz is totally fine!

Have a personality drink, follow steps one through four and youll be good to go, I swear to goddess.

Well deal with using drinking as a crutch later this week. But today, youve just got to get through meeting THE FAM.

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/09/24/how-to-deal-with-meeting-baes-family-when-you-have-horrible-anxiety/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/09/24/how-to-deal-with-meeting-baes-family-when-you-have-horrible-anxiety/

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adambstingus · 7 years