#ive got to put valkyrie cain in my mouth and suck on her like a hard candy (NOT SEXUAL!!!!)

[mysticarcanum]

auuuugh there is only skulduggery pleasant in my brain right now.

#i support women's (valkyrie cain's) wrongs #like. okay. i grew up on this series and it's absolutely fundamental to my psyche #and i dont even care about the quality of the books i will read all of them forever #but also like. valkyrie is my og blorbo. my og Character I Rotate In My Mind #i also had a huge crush on her. and then derek landy made her bisexual thank u derek<3 #but like. i just finished reading hell breaks loose. the dead men prequel set in 1703 #and. as a connoisseur of Imagining Scenarios #i am particularly fond of constructing time travel scenarios in my brain featuring my Characters of choice #in this case my best friend my chew toy ms valkyrie cain #so i was reading the book slow. spending my spare time imagining scenarios where valkyrie time travels back to enter this narrative #IMAGINE MY SURPRISE #when HALFWAY THROUGH THE BOOK #one of the mysterious masked characters is revealed to be VALKYRIE CAIN TIME TRAVELLED BACK FROM THE FUTURE #my scenarios!!!!! my little scenarios!!!! they happened in the book!!!!! #anyway im so beyond over the moon. that book was so sexy. ive got to reread the series now. #ive got to put valkyrie cain in my mouth and suck on her like a hard candy (NOT SEXUAL!!!!) #i feeel like a dog tearing apart a much beloved chew toy. except the chew toy. is Character #i need to find one of the og series books where valkyrie murders the most people and then i need to eat it #on god i wish these books got more tumblr fame because they fuck like hell. i mean. i love percy jackson as much as the next guy #but i feel like tumblr would eat the sp series up #like. its about a skeleton detective and the world's most violent teenage girl and theyre so platonically obsessed with each other #that theyd both blow the world up in defence of the other. #and also both of them have the magical potential of a nuclear bomb and are trying sososo hard all the time to not just snap #and kill everyone in a ten mile radius. but also they're not good people and they love violence so muc h #god i really did read some extremely violent books as a teen/preteen #at least skulduggery pleasant was aimed at that age group. i was also obsessed with the valhalla trilogy and. dear lord. dear lord