#ive been told i sound so uninterested and monotone

[agdab]

god dude i wish my autism didnt make socialising so difficult. like yea man we're in the middle of a conversation but ive run out of scripted things to say so i just stop talking. you see me try though. and its hard to watch. the subject changes. same thing happens. on fucking god

#i eat bees. #or even worse i just cant think of anything to say beyond my usual scripted responses #'oh wow' 'yeah' 'oh man' 'thats wild' 'so true' #sure dog im a fucking. impossible to talk to impenetrable wall here. my bad i cannot help it #god forbid im low energy i just will not look at anywhere except the floor or a spot on the wall #and it will be taken as disinterest #ive been told i am so hard to talk to and its agony #ive been told i sound so uninterested and monotone #but man it physically hurts to put a lot of emotion and emphasis on my voice #idk what to do. i am just shit at socialising #i have to think about what i want to say and then think about if i want tosay it #and then think about the outcome if i say i t vs if i dont #what the fuck is wrong with me why cant i be normal #:( #if you get me on my bullshit with a special interest i wont shut the fuck up #but the downside to that is. well. id just be talking about my stupid special interest.