#ive been inviting everyone to the funeral even tho we haven't made any arrangements yet and i mean literally everyone

[knifeprtys]

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#sibling death tw #rainne #it might just b bcos im sic in the head but seeing how upset absolutely everyone is is kinda comforting #like ive had ppl tell me they had to leave work when they found out n stuff #and its like right??? it's devastating! she WAS that important and special #ive been inviting everyone to the funeral even tho we haven't made any arrangements yet and i mean literally everyone #ofc i tell them its okay if they cant make it n we understand #but everyones been like OF COURSE I'LL TRY MY BEST TO COME ITS RAINNE!!!!!! #even when ppl who barely knew her are reaching out or ppl she hadn't been in contact w for years its all genuine we r all shattered #i wish she knew how loved she was and how much she meant to people before all of this #i thought it would annoy me seeing randoms come out of the wood work but it doesn't #what dOES is everyone being like now WE have to stay in contact #i hope they dnt mean it #esp my foster parents we had to contact them ofc even tho we've been out of care for the 20 - 15 yrs #and theyre so religious and they were telling us abt their own kids and how theyre pastors and ambassadors now #and its just like . buddy i lay in my bed and i plan to for the rest of my life #my brothers doing good w his life but i am noT a success story #n i cant bare them trying i know they mean well but itsss overrrrrr for meeeeeeee #the waiting abt for everything is killing me too #im gonna try and distract myself today rbing silly little pics on here feels wrong but i rly do use tumblr to like. soothe myself lol #every time smth bad has happened in the past ive been on here just rbing as normal even if i was full on sobbing #its my brothers birthday today too so im still gonna try and make it nice for him #idk how but im gonna try