#its just annoyyyyyinnnngggg

[lecliss]

Was in the kitchen getting choccy milk and I turned on the hall light and saw some kind of black dot down low on the wall and cuz I don't have my glasses on I couldn't make it out but I assumed it was a bug and told myself to make a post saying sometimes there are benefits to being nearly blind cuz I would have freaked out if I could see that clearly, but then I turned around and forgot what I was doing so I turned around again and the dot/bug was gone. Like completely vanished. And now idk if that was real or a hallucination. And it's so fucking annoying when that happens cuz if it's a hallucination then thank god I don't have to worry about it, but if it's real, my bedroom door was wide open next to it and is it in here and do I have to be paranoid about it touching me now???? Like, that's the part that sucks, I don't give a shit that hallucinations are just a thing that fucking happens in my life now apparently. It's about not knowing if I have to fucking deal with something now. Tho now that I think about it, I think it did have a weirdly big shadow around it that probably didn't make sense so it probably likely was a hallucination, in which case thank god.

#i mean yeah i guess i should be concerned about hallucinations and they have given me panic at #attacks the first two times they happened to me #but i think as long as im not seeing shit that makes me think i hoped into a different universe or they dont go away #then im not super pressed to do something about it. i can wait to talk about it when i get that therapy when i visit my dad later this year #its just annoying more than anything #and it happens SO rarely that i forget its possible until it happens again #i do get that 'teeny tiny shadow in the corner of your eye' type stuff a lot tho but i feel like thats normal to a degree? #cuz your peripheral is blurry and corners have shadows and im practically blind now anyway #but sometimes they happen in the distance and not in corner and i have to double check like. the wall across from me that theres not #something on it. but again. is that cuz i cant fuckin see? cuz my lights are never on? what? why? explain. #its just annoyyyyyinnnngggg #my paranoia being so bad that i nearly do see a shadow of the killer around the corner at the end of the hall is a different story tho lol #personal