#its irresponsible for me to consider driving alone. especially bc health is on the decline. has been for years now

[rubiesintherough]

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#(( ooc. )) #venting tw #negativity tw #mil and husband are both pressuring me to get my driver's license #and theyre going about it .. in a konda ableist way. like the resson i dont have it is 1. parents didn't even allow me to start trying for #it til i was 18... and that's about the time my health issues really starting rearing their heads #and 2. i dont feel safe driving due to my disability. #like. the pain can flare at any time. and get really really blackout bad in a matter of seconds #and stress is one of the many many things that can cause a flare. #i have my permit. i am doing some driving just with my husband in the car #and that way he can take over if i have a pain flare... or even if it came down to it grab the wheel #wtf am i supposed to do if im driving by myself and it happens?? and they dont seem to understand that THAT is a real fear #and theyre talking about how i could drive myself 2 hrs away to visit my sis #and im just like... yeah sure if i didnt have a massive pain flare on the way and crash and maybe even take someone else with me #its irresponsible for me to consider driving alone. especially bc health is on the decline. has been for years now #its only going to get worse and im slowly trying to accept that im just not able to do some of the things i used to #but trying to explain your disabled life to someone who's never dealt with debilitating physical long-term disability before #is really almost impossible. they view your explanation as excuses. they cut down every reason you give and their replies #prove they just... dont understand. 'wouldnt you feel better if you were more independent??' 'arent you tired of not being able to just #get in the car and go when you want??'. #no. not really. it would be nice sure. but its not safe. but god trying to explain it to them is impossible. #they dont get it. they dont understand. and trying to point out that their pushing and disregard for my feelings and health concerns in #this is ableist?? met with denial #dismissial. straight up telling me im wrong and just being immature or dramatic. #its my body. my disability. my limitations. i think i know it better than they do #ableism tw