#its all just so nice and relaxing

[mortysmith]

btw heres my garnet redesign

#steven universe #garnet #like srry her design has grown on me but i still yearn for something different you know.... #someone pointed out that garnets new design doesnt feel like a culmination of her character its just like. the same thing but different #do you get what i mean. #so i want smth that feels more casual! relaxed! she no longer has all this pressure on her #shes showing off her components more shes embracing their differences ??!!? IDK #say nice things abt this #i already made a similar redesign a while ago but this one is better

[good-beans]

.

#not really a vent - just a quick thought before i sleep but like. #i keep thinking about that post #theres no way ill find it now but the gist was that 'joy is a warning bell to neurodivergent brains' #and how when we feel joy it means we've loosened up and that always leads to a problem -- #whether its getting to be Too Much or saying the wrong thing or even just getting physically loose and clumsy #but it conditions the brain to see joy as something to fear #because relaxing means we're about to fuck something up #and ive been doing so well this year keeping up with and calling people #ive felt more social lately #literally everyone has been so incredibly kind to me and i want to express how grateful i am and how much i love you all #but every time i try to i get so choked up with fear #with each wave of happiness comes one of chest-squeezing fear #im not super upset or anything (its nice to know why its happening) i just wish i knew how to unlearn it ya know 🤷‍♀️ #thats all - time to sleep #its so late -_- #awww its my pals birthday now!! earth day birthday :') too late rn but ill text him when i get up #rose rambles

[starlooove]

I rlly liked red hood the hill bc besides the gift it completely ignored everything else with the batfam which to meeee I’m taking it as the hill has been overlooked by the bats forever (see Orpheus rising) so yeah nobody there gives a fuck about those people and jason knows better than to bring that shit over there

#genuinely tho #I dislike the trend rn of simplifying Jason and Bruce’s issues and making it seem like Bruce was nice and accepting all along and Jason just #needs to get with the program #like the fanficication of that and the Damian Bruce issues or Damian tim issues or even Dick and bruce issues #where everything comes down to the kids being insecure and Bruce being bad at communicating #which has always been PART of the main issues but using that as the crux and lens through which a solution will be acheived is a stretch #a stretch only made in fix it fics that is picked up by ppl who dont read shit and then writers who dont read dont care and get a check #THIS IS MY ISSUE WITH WHERE IT SEEMS BATFAM IS GOING THAT IS NOT AN ISSUE I HAVE WITH RE #NOT ABOUT RED HOOD THE HILL #back to red hood the hill #i DO like them #playing off how jason has always been able to relax there #with a community that has eachothers back #and the flip from #his early red hood days to seeing dana go that path is soooo #what i find interesting tho as that he positions himself as support and backup more than a deterrant #like yes he does try to talk her down a lot but most of the time hes living his life with a worried eye on her #and i think it shows to how he reacted to ppl (bruce) being heavy handed with him #and u know i love the batfam repeating awful cycles shit i think its very interesting that this is one jason didnt repeat #maybe bc hes so close to the feeling or that dana isnt to him what he was to bruce or even that hes just relaxing and thinking clearly and #above all trusts her #most toxic fun future would be for her to break that trust and him to go crazy but thats a diff rant #anyways my entire summary for jasons character is that THAT is what good coochie does to a nigga #carmen thank you for your service another crazy off the street 🙏🏾 #red hood and the hill #oh. still no Orpheus mention #no it doesn’t hurt less anytime 💔 #Jason Todd

[todayisafridaynight]

rgg reddit's good sometimes, actually

#snap chats #i was looking up his VA cause i forgot and just wanted to know and i saw the headline liek #'a big reason why i like daigo so much' and i was like 'oh is this going to be about his character' #and. I GUESS. I GUESS IT WAS #i shouldnt be surprised but i am #like i love daigos voice comments and op are right its so soothing to listen to and it's really relaxing #i make fun of him for it but i love how he doesnt yell: yelling and loud noises really fuck with me in general #so him speaking so gently all the time is really nice and makes my heart melt like a school girl #it is like a lullaby like i could listen to him talk for hours honestly #with my comp i just might </3 #its so amazing tho because tokushige doesnt voice any other character at all #like he's an actor sure but voice acting and in-person acting are completely different #its just nice he does daigo so well i really do love his performance as him #and i dont think theres ever been a character ive been so passionate about for their voice #again it's just very comforting and ergo special for me #really funny that this crime boss has such a nice voice tho but thats def a part of why i like it LMAOOO

[pagesofkenna]

project update!! check it out!!

this is a basic draft, every planet outlined and colored so I know where things go so I can remove the tracing material

and here it is with the tracing material removed!!

it's over halfway done and it looks so GOOD on the solid black I'm so relieved!!

#kennart #wip #outer wilds #textiles #i should have a proper embroidery projects tag tho yknow #its still wet and drying (that tracing material is water soluble) #so it might just be because it's wet BUT the stranger actually disappeared really nicely?? im so relieved??? #i accidentally messed up the black hole on brittle hollow so i'm trying to figure out what i'm gonna do about that #looking forward to filling in giant's deep tho - theres no weird tricks to that so its methodical and relaxing #and when all the planets are done i'm gonna do the starfield! #i have one test little blue nova you can see there between dark bramble and brittle hollow #ALSO the basic outlining i did for dark bramble looked very meh before i removed the tracing material #but against that dark black it actually looks?? pretty much done?? up close you can tell it needs work but from a distance nah?? #anyway im loving how this is turning out. worth be almost busting up my hand last week

[soul-spoken]

I vent or breakdown so often, I know I get told it's fine and talk when I need to but geez it feels so excessive, like I'm overly sensitive or just really really easily triggered over things that shouldn't even relate to my trauma

We come to solutions or we distract from it, or we cuddle, but it's just always there.

I can almost always feel the dumb anxiety or depression feelings, I don't want to

I wish my brain understood that

#im tired of only feeling safe when im overly babied and small. i know at this current time point certain traumas are still really fresh #and i need to let myself acknowledge that and relax and maybe be taken care of on a higher level but #i feel so clingy and embarrassed #and i really wish i wasn't still reminded of things from the past. i hate getting anxious over things from high school or college #that doesn't matter anymore #i don't wanna be so vulnerable and scared all the time #but i think i need to #i just want to be held. feel skin to skin. get kissed and called sweet names #i wanna feel his nails through my hair. hear that hushed voice he does when being soft. i wanna be closer #i wanna be safe and told its not scary. its not bad. instead of how we've been going about things.. #cant i just feel secluded and loved? feel protected and small #i wanna be told that my ptsd is a normal reaction and that i dont have to be like i was before. i can take a while to gather myself #to mourn and exist. to just.. be #be however my brain is needing to be in order to relax #i wanna be intimate and romantic and loving and gentle #i feel so guilty over these wants and needs #i wish i didn't have them. i wish i understood that its safe to have them. #i wish i was different #i wish i was me. but me before #when i was stable and felt nice and independent but i still had little moments of softness and needing help. i miss my early early twenties #but. i also miss the feeling of being held tight by him and told nothing could hurt me anymore. that he was gonna keep the bad away #like middle school. keeping the mean kids away #i love him. i want to feel loved #i am loved. i don't doubt that. but i wish i could capture every soft second and live in it forever #and i feel so guilty #trav.txt

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I had a dream that it was moving day and I hadn't packed anything, my parents were in the city to help me move and I wasn't prepared at all, and it didn't inspire me to work on cleaning and packing but it did make me super anxious so. That's something.

#it was more terrifying than most of rhe nightmares ive had tbh #(in the dream) i was out relaxing at a park in the nice weather and my parents suddenly appeared and asked if i was ready to go #and i was so confused because its march and im moving in may. but in the dream it was suddenly may #so i like rushed back to my apartment and was trying to get my shit together but im super not prepared to move right now #i woke up fucking hyperventilating because i was so anxious at the thought of not being prepared to move lol #in my defense. that happened last time i moved kind of #i was moving by myself. and the day i had to move i wasnt fully packed and i had to get rid of a lot #it was an hours long endeavor and it really sucked to try and get my stuff together #that was actually such a bad dream. moving is going to suck because I'm moving with a dog a rabbit and two rats #and then all of my shit. and a lot of my sibling's shit. and then driving it eighten hours #eighteen hours with four pets and all of our stuff. and its just me and my dad for those eighteen hours. im gonna die #fuck i have to get packed. im moving in oess than two months. that time sneaks up on you #and then suddenly its moving day and you havent packed anything and its taking hours longer than expected #i think i have trauma from my last move tbh

[1980ssunflower]

i really wish i could serenade my husbands rn :-c

#tape entry circa 1980 #ot3: ❤rhyme💛easy💙 #i seriously miss them so so much #i just feel so so sad and lonely and tbh today has been #idk not a good day #i just dont feel happy at all and feel stressed just being alive #but my guitar makes me happy :-] and i found a new band #so thats nice but yeah hfsj #idk i think ive been making a lot of progress w the guitar recently and i reallyyy want to play a song for them both and sing to them #and i just want to hold them close and kiss them... #thinking of my baby ryans adorable smile and squinty eyes as i hold his face in my hands squishing his cheeks a bit hehe #auh #its so hard to be without them #i want to be home w them both already so i can do everything for them! i want to cook breakfast w min while ryans refusing to get up #practicing some of our new material before going out running errands #ending the day w rollerskating OBVIOUSLY its our favorite thing to do #go home and pop in a movie while we relax on the couch against one another #also lately my mind has been consumed by the idea of us having a baby... ive been thinking of dressing them up in a chullo hat hfdjs #playing them the same spanish songs on guitar that my mom would play for me #ik we'd be great dads :'-] #i just thought that we're kinda too young for that rn but it feels almost like they both really want this with how its been stuck in my min

[batz]

my bday wish is healing frm top surgery sooner PLS

#dealing w a Lot of complications bc my surgeon is weird abt giving native ppl antibiotics BUT #im gonna b referred to Another top surgeon just for help w the seroma n the infection -_- #hes a LOT more responsive and they actually respond to my emails And told me it was v weird i was initially refused antibiotics post-op so! #at least my current set of doctors r better! #i mean the results og the top surgery r good everything looks gr8 just. hes not a nice surgeon ig. and ths happened to others too so its #just a Thing #tbh it makes me v sad but im still happy w the results! just sad tht i was told infection and fever were Normal ans then #was ignored post op by my surgeons office. #I MEAN things r better now but im just bummed out that i had to deal with a shitty doctor for my tpp surgery too #oh well im just relaxing n ya.. #frank.txt #all my shirts look so epic on me tho OUGH #and im no longer feverish n vomming 24/7 bc im on heavy duty antibiotics so yippeeee

[quietwingsinthesky]

i have been thinking about that ‘give your oc a kink’ post for days. because i think even would have a thing for hypnosis. yes, yes, for character reasons of overwhelming feelings of impending failure that make the idea of having the ability to choose anything at all be taken out of their hands look extremely appealing. but also because it would be so fucking funny in the worse timeline. imagine you get stuck in time hell with a guy whose whole thing is hypnotizing people, and u hate him. u hate him so. so much.

#i never let them just have a nice relaxing time huh #even just wants someone to take over their brain for a bit so they arent filled with insane amounts of stress about fucking up. #and no one around them will help out for silly reasons like ‘this is a bad coping mechanism’ and ‘having free will is important’ and #‘controlling someone’s mind is invasive’ #except for this one asshole. and they don’t even like him. #i cannot emphasize enough how much the core of this timeline is that even and the master do not fucking like each other. at all. #but the thing is: time bubble. #even can’t reasonably expect to survive on their own. and the master gets his kicks out of watching one of the doctor’s companions get Worse #when circumstances force their hand. and also its helpful to have a spare to be able to throw into pits before you jump in yourself to see #how deep they are. #something even is aware of. and on some level finds easier than their relationship with the doctor. there’s security in knowing someone will #destroy you. in choosing them to do it. or at least telling yourself that you had a choice when you picked them. #<3 healthy and normal relationship. #i got off topic this was about hypnosis. anyway the point of that was that its one thing to give a guy your death and another to (willingly) #let him fuck around in your head. no matter how appealing it looks some days. #and let me tell you: even’s had some days. #endgame for even getting out of this. (if they do. i haven’t decided.) but the endgame is someone on the surface whose face the doctor knows #and someone underneath who is a complete stranger. both metaphorically and physically as in: that suicide pill tooth is probably not the #last thing they end up letting the master stick in their body. even is at the end of the day a constant struggle to be a person and not a #reaction to the people around them. #dw oc #and maybe in a nicer timeline they meets river song and find kinky applications for hallucinagenic lipstick. i could let them be happy. #i could. i wont! but i could.

[belovedisaster]

i am rereading a bunch of the arc 2 books (super bored) and honestly..why does NOBODY ever draw the side characters from these...like onyx, sirocco and rattlesnake, vulture, cobra, TYPHOON...... liosten to me

#im just picking them up and putting them down #i think darkness of dragons is a little odd in the way it handles #poverty and crime in the scorpion den #but qiblis family is really compelling...i really missed vulture i hated him so much #and cobra #fucking crying #i felt for qibli because i forgot she was just being nice to him to get his trust #it made me so fucking upset #also tui is not as bad of a writer as i remember #i think the protagonists are really bland #i get bored listening to. winter and qibli and moon babble all the time #and qibli becomes a kind of milquetoast pov when he stops doing his like...analysis #overthinking thing #though i guess you could put that down to his character development and becoming more relaxed BUT #THATS NEVER STATED #AND ALSO HE HAS NO REASON TO RELAX OVER THE COURSE OF DOD #but umm back to what i said about the scorpion den #its kind of gross and really revealing what tui about poverty or areas of poverty with the scorp den #there are definitely exceptions to some things ill say but #1. winter being a total dick about the poorer dragons in the sd and never getting anything for it and never having that challenged #LITERALLY CALLING A QIBLI A STREET THUG #and its just accepted by qibli being like #Well hes a prince. I guess he cant help it. I guess #2. the outclaws come off weird to me #and its weird how every dragon thats not an outclaw or accepted into them (usually translating to #special and smart and educated or having special talents) #is listed off as just being like. dumb and poor #but im especially thinking about sirocco and rattlensnake who are like #just as much victims of circumstance as qibli with a shitty mom but its fine because theyre stupid and violent #it feels like tuis going. Theres so many criminals and peddlers and p**rs in the scorpion den but qibli is special and good and should be li

[lambjock]

genuinely was so productive this morning ( night? i haven't slept ) i did so much of the dishes and some personal work i've been meaning to do plus fed a little stray cat outside! i normally spend my nights feeling bad, since i'll waste most of the day sleeping due to how late i stay up, but tbh i think i need to embrace that i'm just. more of a night person? if i stop feeling shitty for being up late then i can actually get stuff done!

#my posts. #plus i might just feel safer this way? obviously no one is gonna come pounding at my door past 11 pm to 7am #been having issues recently with where im living ( aka the landlord being a real weirdo ) so like #even when im up during the day i hide in my room or im too scared to go outside anyway #so this is. better? i feel like im alone with my mom and my animals and its just nice #i can clean the house during this time. i can do the litter. i can wash my hair or write or just relax! #obviously its a very lonely time but i can get used to it i dont talk to that many people anyway lol #anyway i really want to house that stray cat!!! they were so sweet and they're a calico which is sooo pretty #but i think its just the neighborhoods' cat bc it already had food i just gave it some extra treats #kills me to see any stray cats though i just wanna take them all in :( #ON the brighter side!!!! i have stuff to make an omelette!!!! #so im so excited to do that when i wake up haha ... will it be good? manifesting it #suddenly loving life rn <3

[moon-o-magic]

How will any of them survive a post-BPS scamless world

(comic is Retire Ed)

#Sfw #He Spittle #eene #I like the stark contrast between this and the chickenpox episode like theyre only fine not scamming if they absolutely cannot #Peace is boring we must sow chaos immediately for our own enjoyment #Ed wants to have fun with his friends & Double-Dee was expecting today to be a Scam Day & is miffed he cant build anything #I know its not that deep but I like the implication that Eddy’s gotten a lot more comfortable just relaxing #I know as someone w/ADHD not doing something all the time used to be unnerving but now its nice to just sit back smtimes #This comic just became funnier to me bc I just remembered that Ed n Double-Dee do random shit with each other all the time #But its like. Eddy’s not joining even tho we want to so something with him :( we have to bother him all day now

[famewolf]

the best part of getting to party with ppl my age was how well people knew their boundaries. the balance of being able to get absolutely zooted until the late hours while also all of us waking up before 8am to make breakfast and clean was genuinely comical

i woke up just before 8am thinking i'd be one of the first to rise but i was the 3rd to last

#[static] #everyone had already cleaned and they were starting to make the group breakfast #ive not been to a party since ... gods 2016?? and we were all a little too eager to over do it back in the day #it was genuinely sweet in its own strange way #then cut to 9am when we went back to party mode #someone brought liquid iv and everyone was making sure we all had lots of snacks and water and sharing the different goods we brought #it was just sweet! a nice weekend to let loose but as my friend said #we are all the 'mom friend' so it was a really safe environment and a bunch of fun #i have never been so stoned in my life for so long but it made me feel more relaxed than I've felt in years tbh #not a worry on my mind and just enjoying the trees and the lake and reading my book and helping my companions who were playing in the water #i dont really like talking about Partaking in drugs in general for several reasons (mainly it makes me cringe @ me) #but i cannot emphasize how i had Zero Worry or Anxiety in my body for the first time in gods know how long #im home now and just ... ready to do things and my brain feels normal for once #no overwhelming chatter about things im anxious about or coming up with things to be anxious about #i will be grateful for the brain-quiet for as long as it lasts

[perenlop]

SM48

#GODDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD #i think its one of my fave sm eps sheerly just because that ending is so fucking impactful #most of the episode is about a sleepover where all of the gang is just relaxing and playing games and having nice little slice of life momen #moments #and thats fantastic not just because its really nice but because WOW its needed from whats about to come next #lillies healing progress has been highlighted by so many characters and in this epidode lusamine even wants to see how she and snowball inte #interact cause shes curious about it. lillie just casually interacts with and plays with others and even wants to battle in this episode #shes not totally there yet. she freaks out when nebby touches her. but its still progress. shes even the one who named nebby #and she comes close to wanting to reconcile and communicate her feelings with her mom #and then all of that gets ripped away in a single second when shes nearly attacked by silvally who’s associated with her trauma #she relapses hard and now she freaks out over snowball interacting with her and AUGHHHHHHHH #it hits like a goddamn truck to me augh. cause i kinda relate her to her a bit more on rewatch #cause she reminds me of my issues with bigger dogs…. #anyways uhhhh yeah this is where i stopped watching cause i couldnt watch the next ep without crying #echoed voice #sm lb

[imthatqueerkid]

#crush blogging day 38 #wow... i am so screwed #i didn't get to see him at school today because dentist appointment #side note my mouth is so sore because i needed extra of the numbing stuff #i was sad i didn't get to see him but then he said he could stop by my house on his way home #i wasn't sure if my mom would like that but she literally didn't care (affectionate) #my sister had to show him the music video she made (that i helped film) #and then we 'officially' adopted our son (read: stuffed animal dog) #and after that we cuddled and talked about a bunch of stuff #including paper hearts girl and why he feels so scared to reject her #it was really nice and i feel so comfortable and relaxed with him like i can just take a moment. and forget about all the stupid shit #and just be with someone who makes me happy #im not sure if im ever going to get over these intense 'reminders' that im attracted to him #woah there folks lets chill out #i feel like we made a lot of progress today #he was on my bed we were cuddling on my bed this isn’t the kind of thing that happens to me i barely believe it #he likes me back? what #he likes being around me he keeps the gifts i gave him ??? what. what #i love when he gets flustered it makes me heart so full cause hes trying his best #its a full length day tomorrow so im going to go to bed. definitely not stay up thinking about him! definitely not that #fire boy #from the couch #Spotify