#it's so bizarre to me when people just ignore that buffy behaved abusively towards spike too

[kitkatt0430]

it's always so weird to me when people discuss how Spuffy played out in S6 as if Spike were the only abusive one in that relationship.

He was abusive. But Buffy was also extremely abusive towards him too.

And while Spike only really knew abusive relationships anymore (Dru, Angelus... and now Buffy), Buffy knew that a relationship should be better than what they had - healthier. But she blamed Spike for being a monster when she was acting monstrous too. And while Buffy did the right thing by getting out of that relationship and is absolutely not to blame for Spike assaulting her in the bathroom...

That scene is the narrative end result of a relationship where it was firmly established as much by Buffy as by Spike that 'no' didn't mean 'no'.

It's a fascinating, if horrifying, look at how abusive relationships can be mutually abusive. And also why safe words and discussions about consent are really important.

But if you're ignoring the fact that Buffy was a perpetrator of abuse as well as a victim of it, then you're missing out on half the conversation about the season from the get go.

#btvs meta #fandom meta #btvs #abusive relationships #it's so bizarre to me when people just ignore that buffy behaved abusively towards spike too #and i know it's double standards based on their genders #but its just wild to me that people will insist buffy did no wrong to spike that season #as if an abusive relationship can only have unidirectional abuse #and the main character must be flawless #and i'm not saying he wasn't abusive to her or that she was more abusive than him but #buffy did some really fucked up stuff that season and ignoring it does a disservice to her character and to the story being told