#it's hard cause...like not to get too deep into my issues on a fckn post abt hell0 kıtty figurines but

[imwritesometimes]

currently wrestling with 'this looks too childish, having all these little hello kitty figurines all over my pc case and putting any more stuff in my car would be tasteless' and 'WHIMSY BITCH! WHIMSY! IT'S STILL ALL SMALL! IT'S CUTE! WHIMSY!'

#it's hard cause...like not to get too deep into my issues on a fckn post abt hell0 kıtty figurines but #I had to grow up VERY early and VERY fast and not in a like cutesy I had to study lots kinda way #in a I had to take care of my disabled mom and little brother at the age of 11 kinda way #I had to kinda toss whimsy out the window for a long time #and in that same vein I HAD to get my point across to other adults like no listen I actually am in charge #I am the decision maker for my family. It's me. you're looking at her. this child. #so I kinda also got ashamed of any whimsy I DID want/display cause I HAD to be taken seriously #so in order to do that (especially as a woman) I had to be... well... serious. hard. no whimsy. take me seriously or I fckn cut you. #and I mean I still very much am like that it's not something that goes away #especially cause you know. still a woman. who is also 5 feet tall. and very young looking despite being over 30. #take me seriously if the occasion calls for it or I'll cut you #but also. the whimsy. it calls. #and now I have all these little hello kitty figurines idk what to do with :( #and that's my overshare on tumblr dot com for the month! #erin explains it all