#it’s called old habits and it is also centered on syobai my fav character <3

[nesisamess]

thinking about akane/sora.

sigh that whole thing along with her (their? both of their?) dynamics with utsuro, and how that kind of bleeds over into yuki.

i was gonna put some shit in the tags but my brain just kept writing so ahem here we go (sorry as always for the nonsensical rambling if you can’t tell i just use tumblr as a place to word vomit about the things that are Taking Up My Brain)

The main reason I’m not a huge fan of Sora/Yuki is because how much of it is just Sora’s programming? But at the same time that just makes everything 1000x more interesting because where does Sora begin and the programming stop, yknow? Sora is so vastly different from Akane imo that it feels weird to call Sora nothing but an imitation of Akane, but… canonically, i mean, that’s all she really is

I’m definitely a big believer in your own interpretations of media (and especially with some of Kodaka’s choices that i don’t personally agree with) and in Sora’s case I kind of don’t believe she’s just this really simple ai. I definitely think that her relationship with Akane and the melding of them is v. v. interesting and could lead to a lot of emotional development but it becomes a lot less interesting to me when it’s just like “oh yeah sora isn’t even like. anywhere close to real she can never be real whatsoever” like is the questioning of her own reality not enough? cuz her emotions feel pretty fucking real and it feels ridiculous to say otherwise

In my own fanfiction & writing for a post sdra2 what-if-sora-survives a lot of her struggle is with figuring out how much of akane is still in her. like. that’s almost a seperate person, but wait, no it’s not. i have her memories. i have her face. i stare in the mirror and she looks back and am i her? am i the one who did all those horrible things? or was it someone else? and sora’s struggle with that could be so so interesting

and how yuki/utsuro plays into it too ughhhh

did sora ever really love yuki, or was it all just the programming? and is that programming her or is it akane? and who is she, if she’s not just akane? utsuro and akane are 100% an unhealthy ass relationship and that always will kinda poison any variation of sora/akane x yuki/utsuro ships for me.

but utsuro and akane at the same time are so fucking interestinggggg in their toxic mess like she fucking worships him. he is a god to her but to him? akanes just another follower. a particularly loyal one but at the end of the day he. does. not. care. about. her. whatsoeverrrrrr!!! he doesn’t care about anything, not even himself

and i think she kinda knows that, or is aware but she doesn’t even care because to her utsuro is a god and she’s thankful he even lets her worship him. because he saved her. and how fucked up must akane’s situation must have been? i mean, i can’t imagine. and now, post sdra2, sora has all these memories. she remembers all this shit, all the reasons why she worships and loves utsuro but also. she has other stuff. she has yuki, and yoruko, and all these new memories that she had made. but, but… but she would still pick him.

and doesn’t that prove it?

that after all this time that sora didn’t even get to experience, she is the same.

the same girl that did all these horrific things in the name of worship.

is she also, then, the person she was before those memories came back? the person who flirted with yoruko and created bonds and made sarcastic comments.

is she…

is she both? neither?

well, we’ll never get an answer.

because at the end, she did what she always did.

she sacrificed herself for him.

#akane taira #yuki maeda #utsuro #inane ramblings #listen. i never claimed to be able to think coherently #reading this you would never know i’m a half-decent (imo) writer #can you tell i’m autistic yet? #also i like. am loving writing about all this in my fanfiction i’m currently writing the 2nd chapter for lol #it’s called old habits and it is also centered on syobai my fav character <3 #i have not posted the 2nd chapter yet but i am WORKING ON IT #if you’re into that kinda shit please check it out i promise i’m still making progress on it slowly but surely #i have over 6000 words written for the outline so like. i don’t plan on quitting anytime soon #oh shit it’s 3 am uhhh #it’s fine i don’t have shit to do tomorrow #or ever #perks of having no social life!!