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#it was the only weapon I've ever seen that DIDN'T one-shot the hollows in the High Wall of Lothric
the-punforgiven · 9 months
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Still thinking back to when I made my Flagellant DarkestDungeon cosplay build in Dark Souls 3, I had a friend drop me everything I needed right outta the gate bc I didn't wanna wait until endgame to have the full build, and turns out the unupgraded Rose of Ariandel is not very strong, to the point of the first time we got invaded the invader literally just stopped fighting me, dropped me 99 embers, and left
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partycatty · 3 months
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do you think johnny could kick a door down with his foot and how hot do you think he’d look doing it
johnny cage > kick the door down
short but sweet about him kicking doors in bc it's sexy
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okay but being a set designer for johnny's new crime fighting movie. he'd of course be the sexy no-nonsense cop that's full of one-liners and endless charm for the ladies. if there's one thing he loves doing, it's playing himself in media.
so you make a prop door, one that's hollow and a little lighter than a typical door. the scene calls for him kicking the door down to discover the serial killer caught in the act. as you're laying down the varnish, you hear a knock on the prop department door. he's standing in the doorway, admiring the rows and rows of wigs, weapons, and various doohickeys that gave the film life. he puts his hands on his hips and rests his sunglasses on the top of his head.
"i've been thinking," he starts immediately, stepping into the room and inspecting the nearly finished door. "i do my own stunts, you know? i feel like a fake door would look too... cheesy. let's put a real one in, love, whatdya say?"
you wanted to protest, to say something in return, but he's the star. you couldn't say no to his intoxicating closeness and sweet tone. deep inside, you were annoyed that he waited until now to propose the option, but considering you just made what was called for, you had to listen.
the door gets screwed onto the hinges, a heavy front door-type of material. you stand to the side alongside various replacement props, in case one malfunctioned or failed during filming. unamused, you're frustrated that the hollow door you created was now crumpled and thrown away.
the scene is prepared and brought to life. johnny clutches the fake gun in his hands, lifting one leg up and kicking outward with so much force, you realize the camera shakes. the crew tries their best not to gasp, and the serial killer and victim actor visibly jolt at the sudden sound. you also could have sworn you noticed a strange, glitching effect around his dominant leg, but that must have been the speed of his motion to distort your vision in such an odd way.
you didn't think he had it in him, to be honest. you didn't expect his kick to have the strength to knock a real door down, but here he was proving the point that it'd be far more effective than a shabby fake one. and god, you couldn't lie. it was literally the hottest thing you've ever seen. he barely even strained himself, the damn thing was torn in two within a blink.
it only took a few minutes for the shooting of that scene to end, ringing bells and clicking boards as johnny wiggles the tension of his character out of his arms. he strides toward you and the prop table with an all-knowing grin.
"how was that?" he asked, leaning against the wall. "pretty sexy, yeah?"
you nod and swallow dryly, feeling as if eye contact was an impossible task. he was toying with you, a lowly prop creator. he twists his top half to look back, chuckling at the assistants sweeping away the broken wood.
"the real door was a smart idea," you croak out in a desperate attempt to give a genuine compliment. "looked... realistic."
"realistic? honey, i split the damn thing in half! of course it was realistic, because it was real!" he laughs to himself, patting his chest as his nose scrunches. your stomach flutters.
in an attempt to escape the awkward closeness, you pivot and try to walk away, an attempt that fails miserably when you feel his large hand holding your wrist. your eyes trail up from his hand to his face, and you notice a smug expression that's more pronounced than usual.
"hey..." he purrs, voice dropping. his eyes dart to the side, making sure no other cast or crew was within earshot. "i can think of something else i could split in half." his toothy grin feels like a clothesline shot to the neck.
your face warms up so quickly you might've gotten clocked for having a fever. as you try to come up with something, anything to respond with, the A-List action star already laughing loudly and walking away with that damn swagger, pointing finger guns at the director and waving off audio specialists.
and you stayed where you were, in your tiny corner next to the props.
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