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#it takes forever and makes me feel like life isn't worth living in the slightest because i feel like shit All the time
tardis--dreams · 1 month
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I'll get my period any day now. I can feel it. Just like I've been feeling if for the past 3 weeks. But. Any day now. Or week. Maybe month. But it will happen and it will f i x me
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the5n00k · 1 year
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Character analysis essay: (kind of, it's mostly me just rambling)
The Ghost and Molly McGee and the concept of unconditional love and acceptance
‼️Spoilers ahead for both seasons 1 and 2!‼️
The Ghost and Molly McGee is one of the most special animated tv shows I've ever seen for several reasons but none quite as special to me as this. A ton of shows, especially on Disney channel, boast of their friendships between the main characters and their hijinks they get into but none have quite impacted me like the friendship between the two titular characters Molly and Scratch. I mean when I first watched this series in July after the season 1 finale, I expected to have a brief period of obsession, a few drawings, and then I'd move on. As you can tell by my blog, that did not happen. (For better and for worse)
People dismiss this show because of the more grounded slice of life episodic approach it takes but honestly I feel like that's it's strongest aspect. It allows the characters to have more moments where they can just slow down and connect. There's no urgent threat (save for a few episodes) that needs to be addressed or the world will end. The characters get to talk, react, and grow because of its slower pace. I say slower loosely because this show will also throw jokes at you harder and faster than an automatic tennis ball server but it knows when to take a moment seriously when it needs to. (This is also why season 1 Amphibia is my favorite and y'all can fight me for it.)
Now onto my main point; Molly and Scratch's relationship.
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They start out rough. REALLY rough. They're not good for each other in the slightest. Scratch is mean and constantly trying to sabotage Molly and Molly is controlling, dragging Scratch along on her daily tasks even if he expresses how much he does not want to come along. But no matter how terrible they treat each other, there's still a level of care.
Take First Day Frights or The Unnatural for example. Scratch is more than willing to watch Molly fail until he sees her getting picked on, something he's experienced almost every day of his afterlife, possibly his living one too. He has this connection to her early on, he has this empathy. He'd never expressly admit it and he still tries his hardest to make her give up MANY times throughout season 1 either for his own amusement, thinking the effort isn't worth both of their time, or simply because he has to keep Brighton miserable. But seeing her upset always sets something off in him. And while he doesn't verbally admit he cares about her until the season finale, he does eventually acknowledge her as his best friend (although in that instance it was more to spite Libby) and acknowledge himself as part of her family. The most notable episodes that highlight their more stable relationship are season 1, 18-20 (for those unaware, that would be Out of House and Home/Home is Where the Haunt is, Scaring is Caring/All Night Plight, and The Jig is Up/Molly Vs the Ghost World)
Moving onto season 1 Molly now, she was controlling and seemed to enjoy annoying Scratch in almost a sibling-like behavior, poking him, teasing him, playing with his "hair" but the further you get into the series, the less annoying these feel and the more endearing they become. She also begins to respect his boundaries more, summoning him less and kind of letting him do his own thing in the general area while she has her own plot going on. (Goat Your Own Way and gags ... The Internship) And even after the curse is broken, she seems willing to let him move on away from her if that's what he really wants. She's more interested in his happiness now than her own. Letting go of that control is HUGE for her considering how much emphasis she put on him being her first forever friend. She didn't even expose him to Libby until she got his permission. I brought it up once and I'm bringing it up again dammit.
These two broken, mistreated, flawed people who found each other by complete coincidence would do anything and go to the ends of the earth for each other. And they did.
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Moving onto season 2 I was terrified they would regress in some way from this. It was such a high note and a perfect end to their arc all throughout season 1, but now there was this new status quo. They were used to each other now. They could feel like completely different characters at this point. But they weren't, in fact they're even better.
They fight, they argue, they disagree on A LOT of things, but at the end of the day they're even more supportive and loving of each other than ever before.
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They're not tearing each other down anymore, they're actively building each other up. Making the other a better person. Cheering them on. This even extends to the B characters like Libby and Darryl, they feel like a close-knit family. Even when they argue, the first thing they see when they say each other again is "I'm sorry" which is HUGE for Scratch, acknowledging fault was (and still is to some degree) really hard for him. They love each other no matter what. They've still got their issues, Molly still feels like she needs to burn herself out to make others happy and Scratch is still calloused and mean towards new additions to his social circle but that just makes them feel more authentic. I don't want them to be perfect. Watching them improve yet still struggle with the same issues they had at the start of the series makes them feel so real. For being a show that's mostly episodic with loose continuity, the development its characters go through is so slow burn sometimes you don't even notice it just binging the series. But if you jump back and forth between an early season 1 episode to a late/season 2 episode, it is STAGGERING.
Molly doesn't love Scratch because he stopped being mean. Scratch doesn't love Molly because she stopped being an overbearing ball of energy. They've loved each other in spite of that. They see past these flaws to their source and relate to the feelings they stem from. At their core, Molly and Scratch are exactly the same; social outcasts seemingly doomed to never having lasting connections. They just responded differently to what they had to go through, their two extremes are even similar in some ways with over possessiveness and insecurity. When Scratch was defending himself to Libby, he couldn't even name any of his redeeming qualities. And Molly still thought Scratch wanted to leave her in spite of everything. They're so torn from their experiences and that drives them closer together. I'm tearing up writing this.
They're broken but they're healing. They're best friends forever. One without the other would not be the same person. Although they aren't codependent, they've gotten along fine on solo adventures without the other needing to step in and solve their problem. They're healthy in their toxic behaviors because they call each other out. I don't consider a relationship toxic if there's noticeable improvement and growth. They're mature in their immaturity, their friendship is so simple and sincere. They enjoy each other's company and don't care who knows it. They're weirdos and so is everyone else they're friends with. Save for maybe Geoff. I don't think a single soul hates Geoff. I'm getting off topic but their friendship is something I always wanted.
They know they're broken, they know they're flawed and selfish at times. But they're trying. And that effort is sometimes all that one can ask for. The dream team for all eternity.
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five-20-five · 2 years
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Misc. Songs
TL credits under the songs
Matasaburo Night Deer translations
I want you to summon a storm so fierce / That will blow away even this sky
I was waiting for the wind / Because I'm sure an empty life would be too boring
Just blow the words away as well / Until nobody can utter a single word, / Just go and swallow us whole
"So you do really summon the wind, huh?!" / "Heh, I can freely bend it to my will"
I was waiting for the wind / Because a society that fits the mold is too suffocating
"Then I'll summon a rain even heavier! / Along with some wind that would also blow away this shared sentiment"
Just cast everything away
If we stay this way, / Soon we will even forget who we are
Make the wind that will destroy this town / Rage even fiercer, as fierce as it can be
Go and blow away the sadness, dreams, and everything else, Matasaburo
The words are your wind
Howling at the Moon
I'm howling at the moon by the roadside
Without anyone noticing, the night swiftly sinks into the deep
When I come to my senses, I notice that people around me are standing still
"Quit acting like you know me!" / I blink at them, pretending to be a beast
Please, tell me that I'm alive
If you sing like you're howling at the moon, ah, things will become vivid and beautiful
I want to try satisfying myself with this malice by smashing open the earth with an icepick
Can't anyone see it? What a bunch of unsightly beasts
Someone is watching me / From the shadows of the wharf over there
I don't have any faith in you, not in the slightest / Nobody is expecting anything out of you
I want to dip the tip of a solid pen in a moonlit lake and try drawing a line on the waves
Everyone thinks that I'm some pitiful, ill person! / I want to toss every single thing away
I-I haven't violated the world enough, not yet
Please, smash my skull open with an icepick and fill it up with some lukewarm soup
The world is at the mercy of your heart's desire
The Old Man and the Sea
I can only hear the sound of your breathing
Far, far away into the distance, let's go even farther away / Taking off and leaving behind even our bodies
Your shoelaces are untied, playfully bouncing around like a snake
The whole time, you're leading me by the hand through the road
We'll become just the wind / And go even father away, to beyond the clouds
You gently pat on my shoulder, and at that moment I finally realize / That the sea is right in front of my eyes
We'll ride the wind, and go beyond the gravity that is my imagination
Your eyes are looking far off into the distance / The sandy beach in Africa where the lions are frolicking around / Is far, far away beyond the sea
Bremen
'Cause you see, we can't get each other with just words / For now, let's lose ourselves in this sound
My body is achromatic, feeling laidback
Hey, let's live together and forever / At the corner of this night
"Hey, you see, it's okay to be the nobody that we are"
A life with nothing but logics is so vapid / Do you still think that this is a waste of time?
It's just like we're the town musicians of Bremen--We have the march all to ourselves
Well then, breathe in and out quickly, and-- / Let's sing like there's no tomorrow! Shall we laugh? Do you wanna join me?
Look, let's just take it easy, put all your worries behind! See, there's nothing in this world worth killing yourself over
Hey, you don't have to rack your brains out / The cells in your body have started dancing around
Let's sing together more / If you're free, let's fall in love
Go ahead and sing like there's no tomorrow! / People are going to laugh at you anyway / 'Cause everything's all messed up. Don't you agree? Ahahaha
Playing the clown isn't exactly easy either, y'know
Hey, just for today, can you please lend me your heart?
Are you guys making fun of me? Don't pretend you can't hear me
Look, let's just take it easy, put all your worries behind! If your life's that unbearably miserable, just get away from it all / After a few years, nobody would even remember about it, I promise
While we're at it, let's get to understand each other, okay?
Left Right Confusion Night Deer TL
Your right eyebrow looks a little droopy
It's hard to believe how many mornings have arrived
I'm content with just one thing / For example, just one eternal peony tree, from which the flower never falls / Or a happiness that touches you, / And makes you forget even your heart
A night so dark and deep you can't tell left from right
If I could convey to you even one of these things...
I just can't seem to remember / It feels like I just never knew
Just one ray of sunshine that shines through the night / A sentimentality that would touch you and open your heart and let me see through it / Really, I'm fine with just one thing
I would tear off my heart from my body, little by little, / And hand it to you. I will give my everything to you, so...
Just a little bit, / Let me leave just a little bit of my footprints in your world
Do you understand? That your happiness / Isn't confined to just one thing
The fact that I'm the only one that doesn't smile
I can't taste anything no matter what I eat / It feels like I've lost my body
I believed / That your heart and mine would always be one
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dom--minnie · 3 years
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Three’s a Party
Summary: There aren’t supposed to be secrets in relationships. Unfortunately, Felix currently has three. One is let out with no problem. The second creates complications no one could have foreseen. The third, unknown to him, he isn’t the only one that holds the same secret.
Word count: 9.3k
Genre: fluff, smut, angst
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Content: non-idol au, established reader and felix, gender-neutral afab reader, felix is nervous, chan is a bit of a dummy, felix wears skirts, threesome, switch! reader, switch! felix, dom! chan, mutual pining, slight lack of communication, threesome arrangement with kink and safeword discussions included, daddy kink, piv, protected sex, unprotected sex, MxM intimacy, (slight) size kink, (slight) strength kink, hand kink, finger sucking, praise kink, pet names, creampie, slight voyeurism and exhibitionism, accidental confessions, polyamory negotiations
Taglist: @solistired @hyunsluvv​
a/n: I only technically lied about the release date. Yes, I said Saturday but I also said the 18th which is today for me still, so it’s fine! I hope I made the wait worth it for anyone interested and for everyone else, voila
Relationships aren't meant to have secrets. Felix technically has several but he keeps them under wraps. The most damning one... one that he would never reveal except under the direst of circumstances. The other ones are far less destructive but are arguably more embarrassing. 
You live in blissful ignorance of all of these, at least for now. Until Felix decides he should tell you something, considering how often he thinks about them. So one day you walk into your shared bedroom with Felix he's wearing a short, blue skirt. Your face is neither positive nor negative and Felix spins, skirt flaring, staring downwards still. 
"And what's the occasion here, darling?" You question. 
Felix makes a confused noise in his throat and looks up to you just a little more. 
"Why have I received such a beautiful gift today? You look amazing, Fe."
Felix leans forward to kiss your nose and giggles when your hands roam under the skirt and squeeze his cheeks. 
"I've wanted to wear a skirt in the bedroom for a while, but wasn't really sure how you'd react." 
"Awwww baby, never be worried about anything like this. I might be confused but I love you so I'll never react badly."
Your comforting words are genuine and Felix wonders how far they truly reach. Would you say the same if he wanted to have a threesome with one of his closest friends? Or said he had a crush on, was practically halfway in love with, said friend? It's not what tonight is about and the thoughts fade when your lips connect.
You're so, so gentle with him and Felix sinks into you. Felix's wandering hands spur your own and suddenly it's like you're horny teenagers again that can't get enough of each other. Your hand slips back under the skirt and the easy access is fun, especially if he plans to wear nothing under it like he is now. Easy access to start jerking him off, and you happily do so, keeping your mouth pressed against his. 
Even with the anxiety Felix must have been imagining a number of situations with how hard he is in your hand. A sigh leaves his mouth as he rests his head on your shoulder. With one bite in your neck and only one sentence all of the power in the situation flows back to him. 
"I want you to sit on my face and then ride me, doll."
Any stress you may have had is gone after that.
Similar situations happen several more times over the next few months. Felix either has a skirt on and is obviously wearing nothing under it. Or he changes into a skirt with nothing under it when it’s clear you’re going farther tonight. Each time you’re caught a little off guard by how truly pretty he is. Lee Felix is sunshine, rainbows, and starlight of course but it’s like the skirt gives him a little extra confidence to shine brighter for you. 
So one hurdle down, only two more to go, great. Felix has never been so glad to have incognito mode with the number of phrases he googles related to 'how to bring up wanting a threesome with your significant other.' 
It's honestly not that useful, as the so-called advice was generic things he could've gotten from anyone. 'Trust them and they'll trust you' or 'do it with someone you both trust' like thanks he knows all of this already. 
Your next take-out dinner and movie night brings some strange behaviour from Felix. He's quiet where normally he'd be commenting on these extraordinarily stupid characters. When one of them completely ignores the obvious thing and Felix doesn't react in the slightest you know he's not paying attention at all. 
He certainly pays attention when you stop the movie and straddle his lap. Your hands cup his face and your forehead rests on his while your eyes meet. 
"What's on your mind, Pixie? Don't try to avoid it either, I know." 
Your gentle compassion almost makes Felix want to spill everything. It all bubbles up to the tip of his tongue but then he thinks of the possible disgust or heartbreak and pushes most of it back down. 
"You know how you said I don't have to be uncomfortable bringing up anything about... bedroom life?" 
You giggle at the euphemism and how adorably shy Felix gets about it when not in the act. Regardless, a hum of assent vibrates your throat. 
"I've been thinking about having a threesome." He blurts then squeezes his eyes shut, not allowing your reaction to reach his eyes. 
The small boop your finger leaves on his nose leads him to open his eyes. Nothing about your expression is negative and you look at him as fondly as ever.
"Do you-"
"Chan." 
A bright, fond laugh bubbles over your lips. 
"Sorry love, you just answered so quickly. Sure, we both trust him. We can talk to him about it and... arrange a day." 
Arrange sounds more formal than you intend but that's what it is. With the weight off of his mind, Felix is able to make fun of the new characters not seeing the plot right in front of them.
Chan knows this is a bad idea, he even cares that it's a bad idea, and yet he agrees. Backing out at any time is always an option, neither of you will be mad. It doesn't matter because he won't. Even if it hurts he will take the one chance he may ever get to screw around with both of his crushes. 
There was no pretense of a normal hangout. You texted Chan that you wanted to talk about something. When you all sit down Felix ends up doing the talking about it since it was his idea in the first place. You both want to have a threesome with him. 
It takes all of Chan's willpower not to coo at the blush that spreads across Felix’s face and ears. Also, a significant amount of brainpower to agree with the right amount of excitement. Not too little that you think he's unsure or doesn't want it wholeheartedly. But not too much that you are suspicious about any underlying feelings or motives he could have. 
Really, you're just thinking about your boyfriend and how cute he is. Not anything against Chan but you love Felix with every cell in your body and it pours out of you often. He can see it from a mile away and doesn’t mind because he’d love to be doing the same thing. Looking at Felix with all the fondness in the world that lets each side know that everything’s going to be ok. But alas, a threesome will have to do for now. Or forever, honestly. 
Then the fun part of it comes: interests. What does Chan have that he likes to do, and would like to do with you. Vice versa, what are you comfortable with and want to do with a sudden, if trusted, third-person present. 
"I'm wearing a skirt," Felix says. 
You smile at how easily he's able to say it, a stark contrast to before. You know that it will give the same confidence on the day of all of this as well. Surprise flits over Chan’s face but he just nods and doesn’t say anything more. 
"I want to dominate both of you." Chan brings it up first, any type of power play and dynamics. 
You and Felix look at each other then back at him and both nod excitedly. Chan already has strong leadership qualities, especially around all of the boys so really this makes sense. It will be very attractive for him to be giving you full orders and expecting them to be followed. Even thinking about it makes your brain work overtime and you have to physically shake yourself out of it.
"Felix and I… we'll just see how it works out. But we’ll both listen to you, for sure. Sound good?" 
You have to check with Chan if he's going to be in charge of both of you. A quick look between both of you and then he nods. 
A moment goes by and you look at Felix with a smirk on your face. He frantically shakes his head before you turn back to a visibly confused Chan. 
"Felix over here has a strength kink. Wants someone to manhandle him a bit." You drawl and Felix doesn't even mock tackle you. 
"Yeah, well you have a size kink! Wanting someone to look down at you and hands fitting around your limbs."
Felix sticks his tongue out at you as you feel your cheeks heat up to the temperature of the sun. Perhaps Chan fits you better than first anticipated. Strength and size in one, not to mention some other interests he slots right into. 
"Any kinks you both have and aren't about to expose to me?"
You and Felix easily speak in unison.
"Praise and hands."
The moment you say that Chan reaches his hands out and lays them vertically so you can see the incredibly veiny backs. Imagining those fingers in any of your wet holes has you readjusting your legs and you can hear Felix do the same next to you.
Felix clears his throat in an obvious attempt to quickly move along from that. 
"Anything you have in mind, Channie?"
The nickname is affectionate and if you didn't know better you'd think the tips of Chan's ears are flushed under his curls. 
"Praise for me is good, no matter who’s giving or receiving it. I like nicknames or pet names, titles as well."
When it becomes clear Chan isn't elaborating you both lean forward in a clear gesture for him to continue. 
"Ok. Baby, bunny, angel, beautiful. For myself? I dunno, choose some. Particular titles especially." 
You all have flushed cheeks as this is becoming a reality, hearing Chan say these things out loud. Hopefully, you'll both be saying some of them as well. One title sticks in your mind and you’ll just have to test whether he’s into that or not. 
"Safewords." You state and both men nod. "We use the colour system generally. Green, yellow, red.”
"Sure," Chan easily agrees. It only slightly surprises you that he knows, and has probably used that exact safeword system before. 
You lean forward to rest your cheek on your palm. 
"I mean... I think that's everything? We can have a phone call or hangout if there's anything else."
Okay but... when? When are we gonna do this?" Felix points out.
It had gotten lost in actually arranging but the goal of this was actually enacting it all so that fact was a bit important. 
"Like 2 weeks from now?" Chan says. 
You consider it, a fair amount of time to go but not too far either. Enough time to mentally prepare but not to freak out fully and leave the country. You look at Chan then Felix who voices his agreement. 
"Alright then, Saturday in 2 weeks. Come over for dinner, Chan. We can ease into it that way."
You stand and Felix follows. Heading to the door you both give Chan a hug, Felix longer and tighter than yours as usual. 
You step out and turn around to face Chan again. 
"See you later, daddy." You wink.
Felix purposefully makes his voice lower and repeats the playful words. It's obvious he tries to hide it but Chan shivers at Felix's voice. You only knew to look because he has the same effect on you.
The two weeks pass entirely as normal. A couple hangouts with various groups of the guys and knowledge of the future threesome doesn't invade your mind. The day before you thought Felix would be visibly stressed already but he seems entirely fine. 
He seems fine to you, but Felix is good at hiding his emotions if need be. And he is freaking the fuck out. There came some point where it really settled in that this was a plan, it was happening, and it was going to be tomorrow. From that point on it had hardly left his head. Hiding his feelings while fucking around with the man? Is that even possible for a Lee Felix? It doesn’t really matter because it’s already happening, so really something is going to happen and he is determined not to ruin it. 
To calm himself down there’s a number of things he can do, yet he chooses the one that wouldn’t make sense to most people. Calling his best friend, the slight hyperactive squirrel man, Han Jisung. Jisung is adept at the two things that can bring Felix out of almost any type of nervous state, whether with genuine comfort, or with chaotic distraction. 
Yet when he calls, Jisung seems to know something is different. 
“Soooooo, what is up my dude? How have you been?” Jisung sings.
“Ah, just a bit nervous for no reason and I know you’re not doing anything.”
Jisung is silent for a couple moments longer than the normal, puzzling. 
“You sure it’s nothing? You’ve been…. extra. The past week, especially.”
Felix goes over the last times they’ve hung out together, especially as a group of 9. There’s nothing out of the ordinary that he thinks Jisung may count as ‘extra’, whatever that even means. 
“Extra what, Ji? What are you even talking about?” Felix laughs, assuming Jisung will too and they can just move on. 
“You’ve been staring at Chan like way more than usual, dude. I thought it was ridiculous before, but now… he’s either denser than a brick or ignores it.”
Felix’s mouth drops open and he’s silent for nearly half a minute. Other people have noticed how often he stares at Chan? Jisung noticed how much he stares at Chan? This is an entire disaster. And if Chan ignores his stares, then what does that mean. Actually, no, if he goes too far down that route then he’s going to chicken out of all of your plans and he wouldn’t dare ruin it. 
“Are you the only one who noticed?” Felix asks hesitantly, mouthing please in hopes that if someone else has noticed as well, that it’ll just go away.
“No… Jeongin and Seungmin are wayyyyy too observant for that, the little demons. Minho, too. I haven’t heard from the others but if I’ve noticed then…” Jisung trails off. He’s not the least observant in the group. That title goes to Felix and Chan themselves. But he and everyone else would put him low on the list, so if he knows then almost everyone else probably does too. Well, shit.
“I’ll only tell you if you promise with your whole heart not to tell anyone else.” 
Felix’s heart is pounding and it thrums loudly in his ears. Is he really about to tell someone else about this? Jisung, no less. 
“I’m concerned but yeah, of course. Unless it’s a crime.”
Felix forces out a laugh, and he knows Jisung can tell but neither of them comment on it.
“So… maybe I have a bit of crush on Chan. It’s fine, it’ll go away eventually and I can just move on, but for now. I have crush feelings.”
Jisung is silent and Felix has to check if he hung up at some point.
“So you stare at your ‘just crush’ like he put the moon up himself? Not believing that or a second. But I understand now, so whatever. You gonna tell them or…?” 
Felix lets out a real laugh this time, then scoffs like Jisung’s proposed robbing a bank tomorrow. 
“And have them break up with me? No thanks, I’ll just live with it.”
This time its Jisung scoffing so hard his throat will be sore.
“You’re an idiot. If they love you, and we both know they do, then it’ll be fine. Be honest about your feelings, it’ll only make you stronger.”
Felix considers it, turning the idea over in his mind. Inevitably, his mind turns to your possible reactions. His dreams come first, the ones where you somehow like Chan as well and Chan likes you both. Or the ones where you’re ok with it. Or any of the ones where Chan even likes him back. But of course, the more likely reality. Where you’re uncomfortable or disgusted. Or want to… nope. 
“I’ll think about it. Thanks Ji.”
“Sure man, anytime. Popcorns going so I’m gonna dip. Good luck.”
Felix is left in the silence of the bedroom to ponder. They both know he won’t do it but the wonderful fantasies make it seem possible. Some wonderful fantasies can come true, somehow.
The stress explodes in the morning. Felix is out of bed when you wake up and when you exit the apartment is practically sparkling. From top to bottom, you’d believe this house had never been lived in if your pictures and souvenirs weren’t everywhere. There's also a wonderful cookie smell coming from the kitchen, and it draws you in. Whenever Felix bakes it floods through your apartment and makes it seem like a home. Cheesy, yes, but it’s really what he does to you. 
Felix's back is to you when you come in the kitchen and you wrap your arms around his stomach. He lets out a small squeak of surprise before giggling, face lighting up at you being awake finally. 
"You do know Chan's been here before right? You didn't have to do this."
Felix sighs and turns to face you, leaving a kiss on your forehead. 
"I know I didn't have to. I'm just nervous and all this kept my mind off of it for a bit."
You coo at your adorable boyfriend and peck his pink, pouting lips. 
"No matter what happens he's just Chan. You're still you, I'm still me. It'll be ok, Fe." 
The sigh Felix lets out has a different meaning to you both. You assume it's clearing his mind and re-centreing himself. Really it’s thoughts of how, at the end of the day Chan is never just Chan for him, but this is reality and not his ideal world. He doesn’t get to have two attractive partners to come home to every day. The timer goes off behind him and the reminder makes the smell of cookies flood your nose and mind again. 
"Join me on the couch when you're done, baby. I'm gonna work on some stuff for a bit." 
The reminder of cookies existing every timer goes off is delightful, and really the only reason timers should exist ever. Most of the way through the batter, Felix dances into the living room and feeds you one, delightful as always. He’s beautiful like this. The lingering stress showing on his face from the morning is entirely gone. The blinds are finally open for a reason and sunlight reflects off your sunshine.
The day passes easily once it begins and Felix is done practically vibrating out of his skin. In the early afternoon, he even falls asleep with his head in your lap for a while. Looking at him is like looking at a sleeping kitten, curled up and peaceful. 
It gets later, a bit darker and you pull up the recipe on your laptop. The kitchen barely fits 2 people but you and Felix work well enough together that there are few problems. It’s nice to just… coexist with someone else so peacefully and naturally. The door rings and you and Felix glance at each other, for just a bit too long before he patters away. 
They both pop their heads around the corner and Chan joins you both, squishing the kitchen space even more. He gives you both soft kisses on your foreheads, smiling and greeting you quietly. As soon as he does you and Felix look at each other and nod, kissing his cheeks at the same time. His cheeks flare bright red and his eyes widen but he quickly recovers. Expression settling and laughing, even if his ears and cheeks don’t stop burning for quite a while. Then you notice the box, probably a dessert that you won't be getting to tonight. Or… you will get to dessert technically, it just won’t be any of the typical sugar. 
It proceeds normally, you may even forget what your plans are for a minute. But as plates start getting emptier Felix is the first to tense up. Chan follows soon after but you manage to stay the calmest, at least on the outside. 
Chan puts his hand on your knee first and you stand. Suddenly, Felix's grasp comes from your other side and tugs you towards him. He looks so… innocent that you just can't help but tangle your fingers together. At the same time, he tilts his head up towards you, waiting for a kiss. Your hands tangle in his hair and press your lips against his. 
You both turn to Chan after and he's sitting up, completely straight and still. You round the table and he puts his hand on your hip. It doesn't escape your notice about how much of you it covers and you resist looking down to see it. 
"Can we kiss you?" You ask, breath fanning across his lips. 
He should say no. Say no, say no, saynosaynosay- 
"Yes." He says with false ease. 
You lean in and he lets you lead it, simply resting his hands on you. Felix comes up behind you and rests his head on your shoulder, watching. 
Chan briefly bites your bottom lip but you pull away before too much happens in the kitchen. Before you can move Felix switches places with you and throws his weight against Chan. It's like he was prepared and his hands go around Felix's back. You take a good long look at them before playing with Felix's hair and taking your own turn to watch them. 
"We should go to your bedroom." Chan pants out, eyes blown wide when he opens them. 
"You heard him, baby boy. Follow him." 
You giggle when Felix whines at the pet name. 
"You're our baby boy tonight, aren't you?" You tease. 
Chan feels something flare inside of him when you use such possessive words, especially "our" anything. In any other situation, he knows it would be "your" and it kills him. He wants so much more, but he cannot either of you entirely in the way he wants so much. It's not a controlling type, simply a statement. Felix is yours as you are his, and neither of you are Chan's. 
The moment you reach the room the door is closed and you are pinned onto it. You watch Felix disappear to change but Chan makes sure your attention is back to him quickly. He kisses you again, but harder this time. 
Felix feels like this is a dream. Maybe he's finally achieved lucid dreaming. Because he's standing in the bathroom changing his skirt and about to have a threesome with his significant other and best friend/crush. That can't be real. So he's ready to wake up and tell you about the totally wild dream he had. But not the feelings, because those are still very real. 
He never wakes up. Instead, he pulls the skirt on and walks out to see you pinned against the door and Chan nipping at your neck. 
When Felix appears your attention is immediately split between them. It goes back to Chan pretty quickly when he starts whispering in your ear. 
"I certainly know what I want to do. First, I'll watch the 2 pretty kittens in front of me for a while. A pretty picture being painted right in front of me. I'll keep the rest to myself for now. Go kiss your pretty boyfriend and give me a show, alright sweetheart?" 
He backs away slowly and you go to Felix, whispering in his ear as well. 
"He's going to watch and wants a good show from us first. So let's give him one, huh?" 
Felix throws his arms over your shoulders and nods. Before you can tug him in he looks at Chan who nods as well before pulling out your desk chair. 
Your kiss with Felix is already heated and messy, the extra thoughts of an audience and pleasing that audience in mind. It moves faster than you normally would when in the bedroom. Though the tension of the whole day, and especially of the dinner may be enough to make up for that. 
Your hands roam furiously around each other and each time your lips break apart you each let out a gasp before diving back in. Felix starts walking you towards the bed with slow steps and flips it around so you fall onto his lap. Before he can do anything you fall to the ground on your knees. 
When you flip up his skirt and see nothing underneath you can hear Chan groan from his spot. Immediately you sink your mouth down, gagging just slightly as he hits the back of your mouth. Taking a second to breathe, you look up at Felix who already has his eyes closed. When you stop his eyes flutter back open and his hands go to your hair, resting there with no intention of pulling. You bob your head slowly, not taking him all the way in every time. A couple times you try to glance at Chan in the corner but he’s moved farther than what you can see. So, your attention is focused on Felix who’s very entertaining and responsive on his own. 
It starts as low moans that tell you he’s feeling good but you’re already looking for the high whines that you know he gives out. You hollow your cheeks and swirl your tongue in that way you know he likes, and the low groans turn into higher moans. They’re quieter than normal and you can tell he’s holding back, which is understandable, but you want him to let go. 
Your head gradually bobs faster and faster, with Felix’s moans getting higher and more frequent. With one particularly deep dip, he hits your throat and a loud whine breaks free. You do it again and again, letting Felix lose control. His hands twist in your hair, still not enough to cause any pain to you, but his hips stay still to let you set the pace. You know Felix is close and you both want it and are both ready to receive it, even so early in the night.
“No, no, little one. He’s not cumming yet.” Chan suddenly speaks, tone firm. 
Felix whines and you make a disappointed noise and slow down, not giving him enough of anything anymore. 
Felix pushes you off of him with a shuddering breath and a poorly concealed whine. After a moment of confusion, you switch places with him. He’s on his knees and starts peeling off your pants, with the noises of Chan shifting in the background. With every inch of skin that is revealed under your pants, he makes sure to kiss it, all the way down to your ankles. He pulls down your underwear after, with less reverence and more impatience this time. 
Before he can dive in, as he so clearly wishes to, Chan clears his throat across the room. 
“Felix.” Said man perks up and turns towards Chan, eager to please. “Turn them towards me and let me have a look, won’t you baby?” 
You obediently don’t move and let Felix turn your body, spreading your legs as well. Even without looking down, you know that you’re soaked already. Chan’s groan confirms it and you shift impatiently. Felix waits though, until Chan nods, before turning you back and getting his mouth on you. 
All things considered, he’s gentle but the build-up and tension makes each bit of pleasure like a shot of electricity through your body. He licks eagerly, tasting you and making you twitch. Your hands go his hair less nicely than his did before. You tug at the strands, which only makes him moan into you which makes your hips buck into his mouth. Each small sound from Chan makes you want to see and feel him but you wait, indulging in Felix as is. 
Felix knows exactly how you want it and with every minute that passes your whines get louder and with each flick of his tongue your brain gets fuzzier. Chan is taking a relatively hands-off approach for now but even with his seemingly infinite patience, he must want more. It’s hard to focus on that when Felix is eagerly slurping at your wetness and making you want to ride his face. You test the waters by rolling your hips once, twice, three times. When neither man stops you, you roll them incessantly. 
With no prior experience, Chan somehow seems to know exactly when to stop you from getting too close.
“Felix, stop.”
Felix eagerly obeys, and you whine loudly in disappointment. One look from Chan cuts you off and you resolve to not protest again when he finally walks over. He stands above both of you but looks down with fondness and not scorn. 
“How should we do this, pretty pets?” 
You don’t even look at Felix before boldly speaking to him, knowing it was mostly a rhetorical question.
“Fuck me! Please?” Your sudden boldness is tempered by the way that Chan looks at you and you dip your head down.
Felix visibly brightens once his fuzzy brain puzzles out that he’ll probably get to be back in your mouth. He’s the first one onto the bed and you follow, Chan coming up behind you. Your kiss with Felix is interrupted by Chan tugging your shirt over your head and shoulders. He pulls it off and you turn around to pull his own clothes off, bringing Felix over as well. 
Chan laughs when you both eagerly tug at his own clothes, trying to pull everything off at once.
“Slow down little ones. You’ll get it all soon.” 
You and Felix stop and stare when his shirt comes off and you are suddenly very aware of him. It isn’t that Chan hides how muscular he is, just that you didn’t pay too much attention to it before. Now, you’re certainly paying a lot of attention. It’s broken when Chan goes to Felix’s shirt and you’re as excited as usual to reveal what’s underneath. 
Just the sight of them alone nearly has you drooling and your hands run over their bodies at the same time, hardly believing they’re both in front of you. There’s hardly a chance to admire them as they both want to see you as well and pull your shirt up, one hand on either side. 
Chan’s hands get on you and dip lower, lower and all the way down to between your thighs. You shiver and watch his face, waiting for his next move. Felix’s hands go up, to your nipples. His warm hands on you makes you shiver but still, you watch Chan who just is not moving. It makes you want to whine and beg but you know, almost for sure, that he’d disapprove. So you wait. The light touches on your nipples makes you whimper and moan occasionally and Chan watches you. 
With a slowness that makes you want to scream, he pushes one finger inside. Even the barest feeling of being full makes you shudder and sigh in relief. After a few thrusts of his fingers where he meets no resistance, he pushes a second one in. You make a high noise in your throat and lean back against Felix’s chest, who takes the easy opportunity to kiss along your neck and shoulder. 
The sensitivity of being so close from Felix’s mouth is still there and it has you moaning louder than you normally would. One of your hands reaches out and grabs Chan’s hand that is laying on his thigh. He doesn’t stop you so you bring it to your mouth and suck on two of his fingers. Felix lifts his head and groans at the sight, Chan’s pretty hands in your beautiful mouth. 
Both men seem to thoroughly enjoy just playing with and teasing you, and it feels so good that you honestly don’t want them to stop. But you’re also craving so much more. With reluctance, you pull Chan’s fingers out of your mouth and whine at him.
“Daddy, please!” 
He raises an eyebrow at your insistent tone and pushes another finger into you. It makes your head fall back onto Felix’s shoulder but also increases the need of being filled by Chan right now. 
“No~ need you to fill me up, please.”
He slams his fingers into you, hard and deep and it makes you gasp. 
“Do these fingers not fill you enough? They just aren’t good enough for you.”
Felix behind you huffs then laughs, clearly caught between finding Chan’s teasing amusing or exasperating on your behalf. 
“Don’t make me say it! You know what I want.”
Felix finally starts sucking marks on your shoulder and it makes you sigh happily, a good distraction for just a moment before Chan speaks again. 
“I wanna hear you say it, sweetheart. I want to hear you beg.”
Chan’s tone makes even Felix gasp, his mouth disconnecting from you and a sudden, hot breath caressing your sensitive skin. You shiver from the many sensations on your body and the sudden addition of his clear order. 
“Want… want your dick, please. Daddy, fuck me!” 
After you’re done speaking Chan puts his fingers back in your mouth, letting you suck on them contentedly. If you’re going to get what you want you have to leave what you have and Chan pulls all of his fingers out of you at once. You know better than to whine so you hold it back, but your eyes screw shut in displeasure. 
“All fours, doll. Come on now.” Chan coaxes, and Felix also sighs when he has to disconnect from you. Chan takes that time to get a condom, and when he turns he just admires you and Felix on the bed. A perfect picture, but one that he’s also involved in tonight. 
You get on your hands and knees then just wait for them to touch you again. Felix knows he’s still a bit sensitive and waits for Chan to start. Chan with infinite patience that is now absolutely killing you. His hands are feeling you up, down your ass and thighs and back up again. When he notices how obviously impatient you both are he finally lines himself up with your entrance and pushes in. 
It makes you sigh. The opening of your mouth prompts you to look up at Felix who smiles down at you. You push your neck out, wanting him in your mouth and he pets your head. His fingers lift your chin and make you look up at him again.
“Be good for us, baby. Make us feel good.”
You eagerly nod and he finally moves closer. Once the tip of his dick is in your mouth, you start swirling your tongue around it. The moment he thrusts in you open your mouth wider and let him use it. It doesn’t take Chan and Felix long, as close and in sync as they are, to set a rhythm where when one of them pushes in the other pulls out. Chan’s thrusts push you towards Felix so much that his cock is nearly always in your mouth fully. 
At some point, you can feel the drool starting to drip down your chin and Felix coos while he wipes it away. 
“So messy, baby! Drooling all down my cock.” 
All you can do is hum in agreement and hope he hears it. Being absolutely ruined with him in your mouth is always a fun experience and having Chan behind you improves it quite a lot. Speaking of Chan. His hand has come around and two of his fingers are feverishly rubbing your clit. It makes the long-awaited pressure build-up and he groans when you clench around him. 
“Such pretty pets in front of me. Wet holes dripping down our dicks and making everybody messy. You just can’t hold it in, can you little one? That’s ok, we know you’re enjoying it.”
Chan’s voice is raspy when he speaks and it bolsters your confidence to know how good he’s feeling, too. It’s not as if you can say or do much about it. Especially not when you can feel an orgasm building and he thrusts so hard to make you dizzy. 
Felix broke back into high whines a minute or two ago. When he speaks, it’s strained and he can barely get more than a few words out at a time if he can think them at all.
“Gonna cum. I want you to- to swallow it. Holy fucking shit, your mouth is so good, honey.”
You open your eyes, when did they even close, to look up at Felix. Attempting to get across how good he feels and how badly you want it. His chest rises and falls with quick, harsh breaths. Chan is so good behind you, rubbing your clit in small circles and long length filling you up better than you dared to hope. Your own peak is building but can barely focus on that for now, no matter how badly you want to. 
Felix hits your throat once then twice more and with a small cry and jerk of his hips he cums. His whole body quivers and trembles as his seed shoots down your throat. You cough on it for a moment but swallow it down. The convulsion of your mouth projects a high-pitched whine from his own. 
The moment Felix leans back, and your mouth is still left open, Chan drives into you roughly. A noise of surprise that you barely recognize comes from you before you start moaning, feeling your own high so presently. With Felix no longer in front of you, Chan holds your hips and pulls you back, slapping against your skin even louder every time he thrusts in. The continued stimulation on your clit is almost overwhelming in its intensity. 
Felix can see the grunts and groans leaving Chan’s mouth but can’t hear them due to your own keening moans. To everyone’s surprise, Chan cums before you do but doesn’t dare stop or slow down his pace, even when it overstimulates him. The movements of his hips are less fluid but it doesn’t make you feel any less pleasure. With each thrust, he had learned to hit nearly any spot you needed him to. 
He’s left panting but is rewarded when you let out a gasp and something that sounded like ‘gonna cum’. Your whole body shivers when it washes over you and even still Chan thrusts which makes shake that much more intense. Eventually, he stops when it becomes far less pleasurable for himself, he has a limit, but still rubs circles on your clit. A distraction shows in the way of Felix who climbs onto his lap. The relief and pleasure are still coursing through you and you flop to your side, curling your legs up and inwards. You watch them kiss through blurry eyes and how Felix submits to him so readily. 
“Lixie~ one more? Inside?” You pout. 
Chan coos and runs a thumb over your puffed-out bottom lip. It’s always a bit of extra fun when you let Felix cum inside. It’s a bit messy which neither of you really wants to deal with afterwards. Tonight’s special so why not add an extra little bit of a reward for him? 
Felix turns to you and gasps. When you don’t laugh it off, he moves in front of you.
“Can you ride me? If you’re not too tired, I mean, of course.” 
The way he nearly spits out the words, like they just can’t come out fast enough is adorable. You prop yourself up on your hands and look at Chan over his shoulder, with wide eyes just barely seen by him.
“Go ahead, pets. I’ll join the show again in a bit.” 
You giggle and nearly tackle Felix down by his shoulders. His hands go to your hips out of instinct but you sit on one of his thighs first. Sitting on his thigh, you nearly want to grind and ride on it, looking at Chan’s thighs makes you fully pout again. Those are some good thick ones that you’d love to sit on. Felix chuckles when sees what you’re staring at but tugs you forward by the hips to try and get you moving. 
You make a noise of recognition and easily sit down fully on his dick. The familiar fullness makes you let out a small mewl. 
“Does he feel good, kitty?” 
“Mmh, yes. Really good, daddy.” Your voice is breathy, different from the fully voiced moans from when Chan was railing you before. 
“Ride him then, doll.” 
The order that you were actually waiting for comes and you bounce, slowly. Chan is intending to let you go at your own pace but when a fair amount of time passes, with a fair few whiny moans from Felix, he tsks. 
“You can do better than that. Faster, harder. Make him feel good.”
You place both palms flat on Felix's chest and spread your fingers wide. Your thighs flex as you ride him and the slide makes you gasp. After you’ve set a steady pace for yourself you take your hand to your clit, starting a bit slowly but going quicker as the stimulation doesn’t quite satisfy you as you need it to. Felix watches you, enraptured. You try to look back whenever your eyes are open but it’s overwhelming and they swiftly screw shut again. 
Felix is back to his low groans that you can nearly feel and it’s nearly unbearably unattractive. Chan thinks the same if the small noises he, unintentionally, lets out are any indication. He tries to mumble praises to you but more often it’s Chan who takes the lead. 
“Such pretty little babies, putting on a good show. Only for daddy to see.” “You both look so cute and small. I’d be able to ruin you both so easily.” 
His words and encouragement make you clench and Felix jerks his hips up into you more than once as well. It’s good and you want to keep going but soon your thighs are a bit sore and tired and you begin to slow down again, whining in disappointment. 
“Looks like kitty can’t quite keep up anymore. Why don’t you do it instead, Lix?” 
The familiar nickname used in such a different context makes Felix suck in a sharp breath and his eyes widen. He’d really like to get used to that but as it is he holds your hips and starts pumping. Felix just manages to hit different spots inside of you when he does it himself and he has you moaning loudly within a minute. 
When you look back over at Chan he’s jerking himself off in time with Felix’s movements. He’s not sitting close enough for either of you to reach but his eyes flick all over both of you, taking it all in. Looking down at Felix, his eyes are completely closed but his mouth is open to let you hear his low moans. They get a bit louder and you can tell he’s getting close so you turn on the begging.
“Lixie, baby. Cum inside me, please. Want you to make it all messy and I wanna see it drip out.”
Felix grunts and starts cursing under his breath. In less than two minutes he spills inside you and the warm spurts of cum fill you up more. Your breath is heavy as you get closer again yourself. Chan finally joins you again, fingers replacing yours. Felix still jerks his hips into you as much as he can, but he’s too sensitive for too much of it. Still, Chan’s hand just works and you roll your hips into his hand to feel more. He barely has to do anything honestly. Still jerking himself off with the other hand you can tell he’s holding back by how tight his voice is.
“Use Lix and my hand to get yourself off, kitten. I’ll do it with you, too.”
Your mouth falls open and a long, loud moan comes out. Your second orgasm feels like an overflow of the senses, so much so that you barely even notice Chan spilling over yours and Felix’s legs. You come down with a shiver and your legs and fingers are left with the most shakiness. 
“Up, sweetheart. We wanna see it drip.” 
Felix’s voice is low and rough but not stern. You nod and slip off of him, laying down and letting them both see. It’s nothing you can see yourself but from both of their low noises, it’s very appreciated.
You’re all left panting, sweaty, and shaky. You stay on your back and throw your legs on top of Felix’s. Chan stands and shuffles off to find towels for you all first. It makes you recognize that you need water and you grumble and sigh before standing. Felix hears you and jumps up to get you on his back. Just as you get onto Felix’s back, Chan returns.
“Why don’t we dry ourselves off first, okay cuties?” 
You both sit back on the bed and look up at Chan with wide eyes. He continues to take care of you both as best he can and it makes you even sleepier, eyes drooping occasionally. Felix keeps you awake with small jabs and pokes. Everything you all need is done and Chan has agreed to stay for the night. All the buses have stopped, Ubers seem sketchy, and any other arguments he may have are shot down. As well as the argument for him just sleeping on the couch. Felix wiggles himself in the middle and shoots a firm ‘cuddle me’ at Chan before snuggling happily down and going to sleep.
You and Chan share small glances of bewilderment before settling in as well. It’s hesitant but you can feel how Chan eventually moves in, centimetres at a time, to do something that could be considered as cuddling Felix, if you really want to stretch it. The bed is full but instead of feeling crowded you feel comforted, knowing two of your favourite people are the ones there with you.
Chan wakes first but doesn't move in a way that would indicate he's in anything but deep sleep. Once he's sure neither of you are awake he sits up and gazes at both peaceful, sleeping faces in front of him. You're both beautiful in the throes of passion but there is something about the peaceful light of day that pangs his heart differently. 
Surreptitiously, under the blankets you and Felix hold hands but lay with eyes closed as you feel Chan looking, observing. He takes a heavy breath in that makes you want to sit up and ask, comfort him, but something about the stillness in the air stops you. 
"Fuck," he curses lowly, but in a different way than the last night. "You're both so beautiful, I wish every morning could be like this." 
You stay quiet, even if thoughts race through your mind, but sensitive Felix gasps, no matter how hard he tries to muffle it. Chan leans back against the wall to create as much distance as possible. 
Felix sits up slowly and you follow a moment after. Chan lets out some nervous, forced chuckles. The confidence of yesterday has melted away, leaving the usual, shyer Chan sitting here instead. 
"Channie?" He shudders. "What did you mean by that?" 
He stutters and fumbles, trying not to lie but also keep feelings intact. Eventually, he just stops and freezes everything for a moment. Then before you can even think, he tries to leap off the large bed towards the door. Felix is fast and grabs one wrist while you rush to stand and grab the other to push him back down.
There is no fight, only an acceptance to sit back down. 
"Channie, please." Felix chokes out the words and when you look at him he's on the verge of tears. 
Why is unknown, but it's clear this is going to be a difficult conversation. 
Chan sighs and runs a hand through his hair, flipping his head to look at both of you. 
"I never thought this was going to happen, any of this. Last night, everything this morning. But whatever happens, don't let my words affect your relationship."
He looks at both of you separately to receive an agreement. 
"I really like you both, romantically. Maybe even love but I've tried to avoid the thoughts. For obvious reasons."
In the silence of anticipation, Felix's tears had dried on his eyes but now they sit, teetering on the edge of his eyelids.
"Lix. Are you ok? You look like you're about to burst." You speak gently to Felix because he looks like a terrified little animal. 
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I was never going to tell you." 
Your confusion only grows at his vague words and you can't see Chan from the way he's turned his head. 
"I understand if you wanna break up with me. I'd probably want to if the roles were reversed."
A gentle hand on his knee prompts Felix to raise his head and look at you.
"It's ok, love. I'm sure we can work this out. Just tell me the whole story first."
"Chan and I have been best friends for so long, years before I thought about dating anyone. He's seen all my highs and lows. Then you came and changed that a lot and we started dating. But still, somewhere along the way I... I developed feelings for him." 
Felix curls himself so small it seems impossible and leans away from both you and Chan. You sit in stunned shock and try to make sense of everything that just happened. When your eyes focus again Chan's eyes are flicking between you and Felix. Felix. 
You mentally curse and lunge towards him, embracing him in a tight hug. 
"Can you look at me, my love?" You coax gently. 
He sobs harder at the loving, familiar pet name coming from your mouth but obliges. Somehow still the prettiest man you may have ever seen, but that's not important.
"It's ok." You say simply. 
Felix looks at you in confusion, sobs still wracking his body periodically even as he tries to hold them back. 
"Your feelings for Chan, they're ok." 
You can hear the small, confused noise Chan makes from his spot behind you but mostly you hear the loud whimper of Felix in front of you. 
"What? Are you joking? How are you ok with knowing your boyfriend has a crush on someone else. His best friend, as well. One of the people you're both closest to. And you're ok with that?" 
The points Felix is making aren't completely out there. But there's something that flares up in your chest, something amazing, when Chan and Felix interact so tenderly. Their normal banter is what you expect but when it's quieter or later they get softer and so do you when looking at them. 
"I am. I like that you two have an incredible dynamic completely separate with me. Of course, I love talking to you both as well. I can't explain it, but it's there. So yes, it's ok." 
Felix launches himself onto your lap and buries his face in your chest. You focus on him, nuzzling your nose in his hair and rubbing his back. To the point where you almost get lost in your own world completely. Of course, almost is the key word. 
Chan watches in envy as you both drift off into a comfortable affection and closeness. There was just a whole confession but he can’t help but feel like he doesn’t fit perfectly, not yet anyways. He wants to hold you like that, or Felix, or both. Maybe later, not today. Today he needs to go home and let you have a day to yourselves. 
Chan is off the bed before you can even speak and you and Felix look at him, puzzled. 
"Haha, um, I just don't to y'know intrude on your morning routine or anything. You don't need to get up I'll just go, yeah. We can talk more another time." 
Your deadpan look to Chan somehow increases as he says 'intrude' and you're sure Felix has pulled out his sad kitty look. 
"Chan. Bang Chan. Christopher Bang. Sit down." You order.
Felix laughs when he follows your order, almost dazedly, and sits back down to fiddle with his hands. 
"Can I kiss you? For real this time." You ask, Felix moves off your lap in anticipation.
Chan looks up at you with his jaw hanging down. He nods then closes his mouth and clears his throat.
"Yes. Please." 
You're half on his lap with your arms around his neck before he pulls you in. After a dizzying minute or so you pull away. 
Felix would be mad you got to kiss Chan with feelings first if it wasn't so damn attractive. When neither of you moves he whines and does grabby hands in that general direction. 
You move out of the way and watch as Chan goes to Felix without hesitation. Chan is wider and could probably cover Felix up entirely from the right angle. They're so soft. Chan's hands are barely touching Felix's waist and Felix's hands are moving up Chan's arms and shoulders. They’re beautiful. Absolutely stunning. When they pull away from each other your hands go to rest on each of their shoulders’ and you level Chan with a stern look. 
“Just listen until I’m done. No interrupting. Just listen.”
He has the presence of mind to just look slightly sheepish and nod.
“Me and Felix have been dating for a while but that will make you no less of a valued or important member of this relationship. If we’re going to do this then we all need to communicate our feelings to each other. So, Chan. If we ever, ever, make you feel left out in any way, you need to tell one of us. That goes for all of us in any situation.” 
You sit back but Felix catches you and pulls you into his side. Chan follows his lead and moves in front of you, putting his long arms to use and hugging both of you. You all sit in peace and adoration for a bit before stomachs begin to grumble a bit. Chan is the first to disentangle himself and the look of disbelief that crosses his face all over again is almost comical. 
"You're... This is ok?" 
You giggle at his still present disbelief. Hesitantly, you reach one hand towards him and he grabs it and moves toward you. While still making eye contact he gingerly presses his lips to the top of Felix's head. 
"It's real, Channie. I promise." You giggle then whisper.
Chan pulls his hand back and looks at both of his palms in shock. You give him a few moments then he reaches his arms back around both of you as best he can and buries his face in Felix's shoulder. 
"Thank you." He mumbles. 
"Three's a party, not a crowd for us.” You reply, leaning on Felix as well.
Felix is the glue that binds you two together, and the one that got you here in the first place. For not the first time and not the last, you're happy to have met him. 
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