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#it might be more of a decorative outing backpack purse kinda deal
solarpunkani · 3 months
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Oh yeah speaking of going to chill with The Ladies, I hope to go tomorrow (and my mom wants to come too lmfao) and it will be the first Official Test of the sunflower bag of legend
First official test meaning first time I'm gonna carry it with stuff in it outside of the house.
All I really plan to put in there is some balls of yarn, some hooks, maybe some scissors, and my little flat tray of safety pins and yarn needles, so nothing too too heavy (well except for my 1 pound yarn balls but yknow) but I'm still both excited and nervous. If I really wanna test it out, I might put my ipad in there for good measure.
I'll report back with my results.
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paradox-time · 3 years
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People (idiots) tell me not to let my autism affect my daily life, but they never have to deal with the intense visceral horror of spending five minutes inside a TJ Max store. I mean this with every fiber of my being, fuck that place. TJ Max is a clothing store, all the places like Target and Walmart and shit give the clothes they can't sell to TJ Max to sell at a discounted price. Sounds pretty good right? Kinda like a thrift store? (thought past me like the absolute fool they were) But there's just one single problem that my funky little brain just couldn't handle about the hell that is this store in particular.
The place isn't fucking organized in the slightest.
"So what? That doesn't seem like such a big deal. I think you might be overreacting." Is what you're probably thinking right now. But when I go into a little more detail you might begin to understand why I have such strong feelings about this.
The second I walk in I look to my right and see nice little rows of bags sorted by size and type, the backpacks are very clearly in their own section, then the purses, and so on. This gave me the sense that I could navigate the new environment easily with such nice little visible defined sections. I walk a little farther and see dresses, this is not the section I would like to be in so I continue on my journey looking for cheap T-shirts. I turn left and see jewelry, a little odd to have here but I figure someone must have decided that dresses and jewelry needed to be close together because mainstream media's lazy depiction of femininity is dress+necklaces=marketing to women. I continue on and find what I'm looking for, or so I thought. See, I thought what I had found was shirts, instead what I found was sensory hell. As told above, it was not organized in the slightest. It wasn't organized by color like at Good Will, not by shirt type like at St Vinnies, not by brand like any clothing store that sells multiple brands, it wasn't organized by similarities like at Old Navy, that place fucking sucked. It was barely organized by size. The worst of the worst was that it wasn't sorted by fabric type/texture. I wanted to rub the skin off my hands after feeling a cotton shirt and then a fucking lacey blouse and then one of those awful velvet monstrosities followed by goddamn wool. I'll say it again, sensory hell. Not to mention all the clothes there were ugly as fuck, no wonder none of the other stores could sell them.
Oh but the worst was still to come. I exit the clothing half of the store and turn to find the motherfucking décor. I didn't think it could be done, but somehow it was even less organized. I already have issues with shitty decoration in general. It needs to be balanced, it needs to make sense, it needs each piece to look nice on its own but it also needs to look nice all together as a whole. That fucking store looked like a hoarder's storage container. Everything was jumbled and mixed up next to things that had nothing to do with each other, everything felt like it was too close to me. I was already in a ton of distress but this straight up made me feel like I was going to throw up.
Needless to say, I got out of there quick without buying anything.
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mysmefanfic1 · 3 years
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Responsible Chapter 2
Jiho woke up slightly stiff but without any pain. The muscle relaxers he’d taken as well as the pain meds allowed him to sleep comfortably, but he knew by experience that he needed to ease up on the sitting for at least a day after overdoing it like this.
He took deep breaths as he sat up, focusing on keeping his muscles relaxed. If he felt a twinge he took another deep breath and eased into the movement more slowly. This meditative and repetitive motion synchronized with a hot shower first thing in the morning. Gradually, his offended muscles loosened further.
Shrugging back into his school uniform, he checked his phone and was surprised to find a dozen messages from Yoosung stretching from 9 pm to 3 am in the morning.
“Hey, Jiho! I talked to my friend and he’s interested in getting you hired!”
“Oh… you must be asleep. Can you message me when you get this?”
“Uh… never mind, I was doing LOLOL I just checked if you were online, you’re still asleep.”
“You’re a pretty heavy sleeper. Jaehee says that she’ll call you in the morning.”
“Ah… I just raelizde that u dont kno who Jaeeesi”
“Sorry typos. I cn barley keep my eys open.”
“I forgot to tell you who Jaehee is again! Jaehee Kang! She’s my friends assistnnt”
“Are you awake?”
Much to his shock, Yoosung was still showing as online. Did this kid never sleep?
“Hey, I just got your messages, Yoosung. I hope your LOLOL was fruitful but don't message me late at night. I don’t tend to sleep well and turn my phone on silent. Are you saying I have an interview? With who?”
The response was immediate. “Good morning!” A happy sun emoji was tacked on to the end. “Jaehee Kang. She works with C&R.”
Jiho’s breath caught in his throat. He knew C&R like most people in the city did: By the massive gleaming glass and steel tower of the C&R building, one of the tallest buildings in the city. It glowed in the dark with lights displaying its name, with a flashing red beacon to warn low flying planes of its immense height.
C&R’s property spanned outward to a plaza with fountains and eating areas. It had Valet parking in expansive underground parking garages. It was a centerpiece of downtown where only the finest of the city and even the finest of the country could work.
Jiho’s skepticism immediately brought him back down to earth. This poor gamer who couldn’t even afford tutoring and skipped classes and played LOLOL all night had an ‘in’ at C&R?
He typed a single word. “Bullshit.” and tossed his phone on the bed.
His mood sank. He heard his mother call him down to breakfast so he started to prepare for the day. So much for a new friend. Maybe he was a scammer. No way that was true.
“It’s true!” 
Jiho eyed his phone as he slowly wrapped his school uniform tie around his neck.
“Look, my cousin was engaged to Han Jumin’s childhood friend. That’s how I know him. We talked about you last night and he’s interested in you so you have to be ready to answer the phone when she calls!”
Jiho could feel his temperature rise. He picked up the phone again. “I don’t know why you feel the need to joke around like this. But it’s not funny.”
“No, wait, look, I’ll get you a photo.”
He rolled his eyes. Photos used to be proof now they’re easily spoofed and altered. Did Yoosung scam people like this all the time?
A picture came up. It was a photo of Yoosung, but he had brown hair. Several people were standing around.
“This is my graduation ceremony. Jumin Han is the farthest to the left.”
Jiho blinked at the photo. He was seeing something with his own eyes, yet his brain found it hard to accept. He wasn’t someone who followed celebrities, but he knew the Han name and he’d seen photos of Jumin Han before. Still, he found himself googling Jumin Han and comparing the pictures online. This couldn’t be, that had to be a look-alike…
“Jiho! Come down to breakfast!”
“In a minute!” He shouted down to his mother.  He turned back to his phone. 
He typed. “This seems too good to be true.”
“I understand. But please believe me.”
The screen suddenly went black and the phone was buzzing with his ring tone. On the caller ID was Jaehee Kang.
Jiho felt himself starting to sweat. He held the phone to his ear and cleared his throat. “This is Lee Jiho.”
“Good morning, this is Kang Jaehee. I’m chief assistant to Han Jumin of C&R and we are interested in offering you a position here.”
Jiho’s mouth opened and shut. “Yes… thank you for considering me.”
“Yoosung shared his math assignment with us last night and I looked over it. All the answers are correct. Your public records are also exemplary. Do you have time for an interview this morning?”
“This morning…?”
“JI-HO!” 
Jiho heard his mom coming up the stairs and quickly locked the door bedroom. “Can you give me just a moment.”
“Sure.”
He muted the phone. “Mom. I … I need some more time to get ready, I’m sorry.”
“What’s wrong?” The doorknob rattled. “Why is your door locked!”
“I’ll be right down I promise. By the way, where’s my suit? The one I wore to Dad’s memorial.”
“Your suit? It should be in the storage closet…”
“Can you get it out for me? I need it…”
“What is going on?”
“Please mom, just do it. I”ll be right out.”
Much to his relief his mother shuffled away, muttering to herself.
He hurried back to the phone. “I apologize, please continue.”
“Not a problem at all.” Her voice was clipped and professional. Her words were formal. Just listening to her made him sit up straight. “The job will involve auditing archived files kept in storage. These files don’t work with any of our current software and must be audited by hand. Once these files are thoroughly checked, they must be imported into a new system and the records will be destroyed. Therefore, we need someone with a meticulous attention to detail as once the records are destroyed they cannot be retrieved.”
“I can do that, no problem.” He said. “What time do you need to meet me?”
“I have an opening two hours from now. Meet me in the C&R lobby at 9:30 am.”
“I can make it. Thank you for this opportunity.”
After bidding each other farewell. Jiho had to sit down. He held one hand to his head staring into space. “Oh… oh my god. This is it. This is it! This is my chance! I…”
He hurried back down the hall to the bathroom and brushed his hair and his teeth again, one more time. He was afraid to eat. What if she smelled something on his breath or he got something in his teeth?
His resume! He quickly hurried for his backpack and opened it up. He smiled. Still there, perfect condition.
He hurried to the kitchen where his mom had her arms crossed and her foot tapping. He would have to take the subway to get to C&R. “Mom, can I borrow a few extra dollars. I’m meeting someone for a special project and I”ll have to take the subway.”
“No.”
His mother’s words stopped him cold. “What?”
“No. The school told me you’ve been skipping classes!”
“I told you I wasn’t feeling well yesterday!” He laughed nervously.
“What about the day before? And the day before that?” She glared at him. “You’ve been lying to me! Where have you been going?”
“I’ve been applying for jobs!” Jiho blurted. “I need the suit for an interview!”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
“Because I knew you wouldn’t like it!”
“And you would be right! You are on scholarship! This is your one chance to go to a prestigious university!” His mother leaned on the table.
“And it’s not going to do any good if you have to work!” Jiho couldn’t believe she was being stubborn.
“What are you talking about? The whole point of university is to get a good job!”
“I’m about to get a really good job mom, really good.”
Her lips pressed together and her brow knitted. For a moment, mother and one glared at each other in a standoff.
Jiho looked away first, contrite. “I’m sorry I lied to you…” He ran his hand through his hair. “Look… I”ll cut you a deal. I’ll get this job. If I don’t, I’ll give up my job search and go to class. Okay?”
“You promise…” She asked dubiously.
“I promise. Super promise.” He crossed his fingers.
His mother hesitated for a few more seconds before reaching for her purse and handing him enough money for the fare.
Jiho took the suit from her arms and bowed deeply. “Thank you for this chance.”
“How good is this job anyway?” She glanced at him as he sat and devoured his breakfast.
He didn’t answer right away. “I kinda don’t want to tell you. I”m afraid it might not be real.”
“That good huh?” She asked. She quirked a single eyebrow.
“Yeah.”
“Well… you better hurry then. This is your last chance.”
Jiho rose from the table, walked over and gave his mother a kiss on the cheek. “You won’t regret it.” He then ran off to get changed.
Soon, Jiho was one of a river of suited individuals making their way through a labyrinth of shining skyscrapers in the business district of the city. All around him, people spoke on cell phones, the clicks of women’s heels provided staccato rhythms and the steady hum of expensive cars added a backdrop of sound.
He glanced up at the C&R complex as if it were a castle he was planning to storm. He steeled himself with determination. This was the place that would change his life.
He walked through the automatic revolving doors into a brilliantly lit marble floor.  Immediately his bravado left him when he saw a floor to ceiling saltwater fish tank complete with coral reef decorating a central column.
This confrontation with extravagance told him he didn’t have any business being here.
A woman in a brown dress suit met him. “Lee Jiho?” She bowed slightly. “I am Jaehee Kang. Let me help you get checked in.”
He fought the urge to respond like a school kid and nodded and followed her in silence. Inside, he was a raging mix of excitement, panic, and disbelief. Was he dreaming?
He looked down at the receptionist seated behind an ornate desk carved with snarling Siberian tigers. 
She was young, bespectacled and dressed smartly. She looked at him, met his eyes and suddenly exclaimed. “Ah. What beautiful eyes!”
“Uh… Thanks” Jiho stammered.
 Her cheeks turned red as she caught Jaehee’s deadpan stare. “I’m sorry. I… forgot myself. Here’s your security tag. Keep this on you at all times.”
He accepted the tag and put it around his neck.
Jaehee turned on her heel and walked towards an elevator. The doors were bright gold. Were they made of gold? They had the logo of C&R on them so that the two letters would part when the doors opened. “Have you ever worked in an office before?” Jaehee asked as she scanned her card and then looked at him. 
“I’ve never worked in an office before, no…”
“C&R is a very prestigious company and we value our employees highly but we have very high expectations of them as well. I’m happy you’ve decided to at least dress the part, but exclamations like you just heard could actually be grounds for discipline.”
“I understand.”
The golden doors opened and they stepped inside. Jaehee pressed a button and the doors slid shut. She then turned and smiled at him, her eyes warm and friendly. “Don’t be so nervous.”
Her sudden shift in attitude was jarring; he wasn’t sure how to react.
“Yoosung had a lot of good things to say about you. To be honest, you’ve already made a good impression. This interview is just a formality.”
Jiho gaped wordlessly for a few seconds. “Wow. I … I didn’t believe him when he was telling me.”
“I can sympathize. I got into C&R on the word of Jumin’s friend as well. Jumin values his friends’ opinions highly. This job is yours to lose.”
“Ms. Kang, I…”
“You can call me Jaehee.”
“But aren’t you my supervisor?”
“Not directly. You’ll be with our accounting division. All the usual formalities will be there.”  
The doors opened onto an elaborately woven carpet. There was another receptionist who only glanced at them as they passed by. “This is our archive. Should you accept the position, this is where you’ll be working.”
She scanned her card again at the double doors and they opened to a large windowless server room. Three huge center silos occupied most of the space along with industrial printing machines.
“Every day, you’ll examine a set of financial records. You’ll have your own desk and will be expected to work alone, but don’t be a stranger. The accounting division is a close knit group. It's in your interest to get to know them well.”
“They’re not here?”
“They work on a different floor. They’ll be in meetings right around this time.” Jaehee checked her watch briefly.  “Do you have any questions for me?”
“Uh… when do I start?” He laughed, and hated the high pitch of it. He cleared his throat. 
“Immediately. The reason we’re so eager to have you is... “
Her phone suddenly rang and she picked up. “Mr. Han. Yes, I’m with him now. Yes. I know. Now? Yessir. I’ll be right there.”
She hung up the phone. “Something’s come up. I’m afraid…” She suddenly sighed and looked incredibly tired. “I’m afraid I’ll have to ask you to sign the employment forms right away. I am very sorry.”
“I do have one question. Did you… seriously grade my homework?” Jiho’s eyebrows rose.
“Hahaha!” Jaehee’s laugh held a quiet bit of madness. “Yes. I did.”
Jiho bowed. “Thank you.”
She smiled at him. “Here.” She handed him a stack of forms. “Just sign here… and here… and here….”
This was real. He was going to work at C&R. C and freaking R! Every signature was like the unlocking of a massive door to a shining opportunity. His dad must be throwing a fit up in heaven. His boy did it! He probably couldn’t believe it. He said an opportunity would come knocked, but no way he expected something this amazing!
“Here’s our welcome packet, look over and sign everything you like. It includes our retirement, savings, and investment plans, alternate insurance, et cetera… I … am sorry I’ll have to escort you out. Security will provide you your badge you’ll need to enter when you start tomorrow.”
Jiho put a cap on his excitement but a glance at Jaehee’s smile told him he didn’t fool her at all. He was ecstatic. “Thank you ma’am. I mean… Jaehee.”
He followed her outside. “Take your time looking through those things. Be at your desk a little before 8 am to meet your new friends. Eat lunch in the common cafeteria to get to know your new coworkers.”
She suddenly removed her glasses. “You know… looking at you, reminds me a lot of when I started here. Working at C&R is indeed a great opportunity. Don’t lose appreciation for it. Now. If you’ll excuse me.” 
Jaehee placed the glasses back on her nose and walked back into the building, leaving Jiho to stand in his own disbelief and joy.
Jiho made his way down the city walk to the central park. The green was cut through with shady walking trails around a large lake. Jiho settled down on a bench and sighed. He then opened the package and began to read it over.
After about half an hour, his phone rang. It was his mother. He answered.
“Did you get the job?”
“Yes.”
“I thought you would. I wish I had good news for you.” Her voice was gloomy and sullen.
“What happened?” He gripped the phone.
“Your school called. They’re going to list you as delinquent, in line for expulsion. This will go on your permanent record.”
Jiho’s expression set. “Call them back. I’m withdrawing from SKY.”
“What?” His mother was voiceless with shock.
“The job I got? It’s with C&R… one of the biggest companies in South Korea.”
“C&R…?”
“That’s right. I have no need to attend classes any longer.”
“But Jiho… you’re on scholarship. They’ll require the tuition paid back right away if you drop out!”
“I don’t care. I’ll be getting paid enough to make it up.”
“They’ll want it immediately, not in payments.”
“Mom.” He shifted his eyes to make sure he was alone. “You said that we had enough to last us a while? Not according to my calculations. We should be out of money in the next month or two. You have savings besides those from selling the food truck business, right?”
His mother was silent on the other end. Then she said. “Those were for something else…”
“Mom. Please, just pay off the scholarship loan. I’ll pay you back. I’ll pay you back and then some! They’re going to match my retirement contributions. I’ll get shares in the company. This optional insurance will make sure you have the best medical care!”
“Jiho…”
“Mom! Listen to me!” His voice rose in urgency. “I know this is too fast and this is too hard to accept. But I’m not going to let you work okay? I need you to trust me. I’ll handle it. All the money, all the finances. I’ll save up. Put down money on a house! This is it! This is what I”ve been waiting for! Just… just pay the tuition. I’ll pay you back. I promise. I super promise…”
The silence on the other end just grew. “Your father… saved this money…  penny by penny… for you. For your wedding… I…”
“Mom.” Pain assailed his heart and he closed his eyes and chewed his lip. “I know you’re not used to having money. My dad. He… never wanted it. To him it wasn’t important.” Jiho’s voice cracked and began to shake. “So long as we were together. But we’re not together anymore! He’s gone! We’re not together!” He wiped his tears angrily. “So please. Just. Just do this!”
His mother’s voice came through, small and quiet. “Okay… I’ll call the school. I’ll sign the withdrawal.”
Jiho sighed, trying to get control of his breathing. His face was burning hot and his blood was racing through him. He hated this feeling of desperation after elation. It exhausted him. “Thank you. I love you, mom.”
“I love you too… I’ll see you when you get home.”
He pressed the end call button and lowered his phone to his lap, staring out over the lake. Emotion rattled about inside him but he couldn’t let it out. It crawled up his neck, twisting his muscles and tightening them. He stood up to walk it off.
By the time he got home, he was in agony and had to lay down. A therapy pillow with electronic massage balls provided some relief. His phone vibrated.
“Grats on the job!” Yoosung had texted with a celebratory emoji.
Jiho smiled weakly. “Dude… you’re amazing.”
“Nah you’re amazing. You can finally relax!”
“No way.” Jiho texted. “My work has just begun. But… I guess I can celebrate.”
“Do you still have your LOLOL account? Wanna come play with me?”
“I’m sorry. I can’t. My neck is killing me and I can’t sit up.”
“Seriously? Have you seen a doctor?”
“Yeah. Hey. Maybe I can listen to you play?”
“That’ll work!”
Jiho sat up painfully and got his laptop and signed into LOLOL.
“Add me to friends! I’m Super Yoosung!”
“Gotcha. I’m Mighty Taco.”
“Wat. lol”
“Don’t knock it.” Jiho logged in and then activated his bluetooth headset. “Here, invite me to your voice chat.”
Soon, Yoosung’s voice filled his ears. “Hey, can you hear me?”
“I hear you just fine.” Just that small effort was tiring. He lay back down and got comfortable.
“You sound kinda sick.”
“I’m fine. What’s the dungeon?”
“Elynor’s Keep Insane.”
“Ohh… is that from the latest expansion?”
“Yep. It’s progression so… we’re going to die. A lot.”
“I look forward to it.” He smiled and closed his eyes, already feeling the knots work out of his neck.
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