#is that i Don't want people stressing over smth that should be fun but also dont want ppl to get bored with whats an exciting book to reread

[lobotomy-maybe-bestie]

I think the discord server idea is so fun and exciting! A little Locked Tomb reread book club!!!

yess that's exactly what i'm going for!! i'm also thinking abt like several ideas in terms of fun stuff you can do with a text i might do research for this but it's meant to be like. i think Optional Effort would be the name for it?? still working out the basics but in concept it's like you read at your own pace and then if you wanna do something else there's like little games/challenges/reading exercises/creative prompts. i'm contemplating basing it on actual like. bible reading methods (there's literally so many like "bible meditations" that are essentially just fun little reflective writing exercises all dolled up in fancy liturgical language) as like a parody yknow bc gideon is the jesus of tlt and stuff. but idk yet! this is literally an idea i had yesterday but i'm frigging Jazzed abt it

#asks #the most important thing is to allow both low and high energy phases for ppl i think #like. if i get stressed abt doing a Fun Thing bc others are waiting for me to get it done i won't enjoy it #but then if i'm excited and want to bounce off ideas and do creative stuff and don't have an outlet for it #i get bored and focus attention elsewhere. #listen it's not that deep okay it's a book club. i'm not making this into a class or anything. it's just a fun idea #do not be frightened by my mumbo jumbo the only reason i'm throwing these ideas out #is that i Don't want people stressing over smth that should be fun but also dont want ppl to get bored with whats an exciting book to reread #anyway sorry for ranting abt this love u nonny i'm just excited #locked tomb

[way2gowillow]

It's my birthday today :)

I'm finally 16 sweet 16 y'know I guess some huge life changes will happen soon people say once you turn 16 it's like your life just changes around. It's kinda crazy I'm not to sure what's gonna happen to me now that I'm "so mature" I still feel very childlike, my grandfather took me to build a bear yesterday and I still play with stuffed animals. But that's okay. I also think you'll be happy that I'm here with good news, I'm feeling really good. O feel happy and like fucking alive and things in my life are going pretty great. I, in all honesty, I haven't felt this just... Okay... Is so fucking long, it's like things are making sense now. Things are okay. It's weird I've been getting better this year, I mean I've definitely has my setbacks, but I haven't self harmed since last December, and I passed all my classes, that algebra class I passed with a 68% (64% is fail) my dad's disappointed in me but the teacher was shit and I tried my best so it's whatever honestly, being more carefree has been so much better. I got straight A's in all my other classes! So my GPA's like 3.1? Or smth idk I'm trying. But schools over. Summer is my good months, I hate the hot weather but having a few months without school is amazing, being able to stay away from bullies is incredible that's really the only thing that's so I'll been bothering me nowadays plus, over summer everyone forgets everything so hopefully theirs nothing else to bully me about next year. Maybe this summer I'll have like a glow up or smth? Probably not lol. Though, I have been going to the gym, but I'm not looking to change my body I have enough issues with that as it is. Anyways, it feels so much better to just be okay. My birthday was great and I'm feeling good. We actually celebrated last week because of the court date with my mom so my whole family could be together I got some new Markers, and A PlayStation (🫣in excited) and some new shoes it's been a really great day. I'm really excited we celebrate last week haha because (I'm sure you guessed it) I'm sick again! I'm telling you I never stop being sick it's constant, I have a sinus infection (A FUCKING GAIN) AND STREP so I'm spending my birthday eating my favorite foods (like ice cream, nice on my sore throat) and finishing up these antibiotics, I'm pretty sure the last time I wrote here I was sick then too?? I think? It might have been stomach related I honestly can't fucking remember I'm sick all the time.(along with Juvenile Arthritis, which APPERNLY I HAVE, just another thing to add to the list 🙄) But I don't really mind. I have TV to watch and I'm doing OK.

I know things like this dont last forever but im happy right now and honestly I think I'm okay with just staying for a while how stuff is. Ill have up and downs and my (phisical) health isn't too awesome but I'm doing the best I can to help it

As always you please please take care of YOURSELF. Make sure your drinking, eating, taking your medicine, giving yourself time to breathe. I appreciate you 🤗

-rosy

AWWW! Omg, happy birthday! I'm so so happy to hear that you are doing a little better right now, especially on your birthday. I hope you got all the ice cream you wanted. And that's very sweet that you went to build-a-bear. I've been meaning to go for a while myself once I have the spending money to splurge. I kinda want a K.K slider bear...(dog? Idk about the technicalities with that lol). And it's totally not a bad thing to still be fond of cute stuff like that. What matters is that you like it! And nobody else should have any issue with something as wholesome as being yourself.

I used to really enjoy Summer because of the nice break from school too. And I didn't have many friends, but the few I did have were very fun to be around. I hope you have someone like that in your life. Please enjoy the break, whether you spend it with others or at your own time. I know that algebra class you mentioned was stressing you out hardcore. You passed and you tried your absolute damn best. That's all that matters. (I'm proud of you.)

It sucks you're feeling sick, but I hope that also gets better with time. Coincidentally, I also had Juvenile Rheumatoid Arthritis (I was diagnosed at 15) and the biggest tip I can give you is to become aware of and come to terms with your own limits. I had not taken good care of myself when I turned 18 and my RA kinda spiraled out of control, which caused me to develop lupus very soon after. So, you know, take it kind of seriously and be kind to your body. You mentioned you're going to the gym, which is great! Staying active is super good for preventing joint pain. But also don't forget to take breaks. The good news is that these sort of chronic illnesses can go into remission under the right care. <3

It's always nice hearing how you're doing. Happy Birthday again. I'm glad it went well. :D

[soleilocverse]

Chapter 17 Commentary

I think it was v fun to write Ray POV cooking a meal vs. Soleil POV cooking a meal! Like :) Soleil's is so drawn-out and over-anxious and detailed /because/ he's over-anxious. he's never certain about if he's done a good job (and is v concerned about that) until he gets outside approval and it Shows. Ray is not nearly as stressed or distressed about the cooking itself and so I hope it was conveyed the different vibes.

Emily is not as privy to Soleil's trauma but she knows something is Up. She's also not close enough to him to ask (either to understand more or offer support) which leads to her often being like, hm. Well, moving on. When smth is obvs Up and she doesn't want to pry or linger. I think she's the type of chara to not like, try and Guess what's up either. I have other charas who might try and extrapolate based on reactions but i genuinely think Emily's like, kay well, he'll tell me or he won't.

soleil has not been the biggest fan of wearing turtlenecks for a While. idt i like? put that in the fic until this point, he just. doesn't wear them if he can help it. soleil has a Thing about saying he doesn't like something if it could be the Wrong opinion or hurt someone else's feelings or get Him hurt or make him look ungrateful etc, and this will :) keep coming up in the fic :)

same w/ Soleil's ankle pain from last chapter. Not only would he not Say anything, his internal narration doesn't make mention of it either, because what would be the point or recognizing it? It's not like anything would change so he should just do his best to work around it.

Though I think he Does consciously clock that he doesn't like the turtlenecks and consciously works around it (like making sure he has enough of his other shirts so he doesn't have to wear them). while w/ his pain, bc he's so used to it, it doesn't consciously register--especially because he's used to always being in pain and before he can think too much about it, he's already resigned to the fact that it's going to hurt for a while bc he stood too much. but eventually it'll go back to hurting a little less. And so he's a little more careful (bc it's not like he /wants/ to be in more pain) but it's a routine and unconscious kind of adjustment, one that doesn't prompt dwelling in his POV chapters.

It was unintentional repeating "in a move" etc during the sex scene but I really liked that they each got their own separate thing.

I do waffle every time about including a sex scene, or if maybe i should add a content (not trigger) warning if there's going to be one that ch. i do try and keep them on the shorter side tho, and i also tend to think that people could just skip it if they didn't want to read?

LOL ALSO, unintentionally :) ray running his hand through each of his partners' hair during the sex scene mirroring earlier

Actually: that is one of the main reasons I'm deciding to keep the smut in the chapter. I'd started drafting up a separate work to put it in but!! I think it's fun that there are parallels in their relationships + behaviors in and out of sex, plus it's an important part of their connection/dynamic and i hope/don't think it's too out of place to include it

i think it's also just. good setup for future plotlines re: sex can be fun and teasing and enjoyable and entirely consensual, double re: soleil's past trauma [will continue to waffle about this]

me setting up to post and realizing one more. that i have forgotten a title for the ch (i have. One ch title planned as of rn, everything else is just OH FUCK, i forgot :) vibes As I'm posting)

#Commentary #Ch.17 #Ray #Soleil #Emily

[transrightsjimin]

covid rants as per usual

had 4 teams meetings today nd slept too few nd i did alright at work but im rly overwhelmed frm the social interaction nd a colleague suggested we go out to somewhere outside w colleagues, to like a picnic or smth bc most of us rarely saw each other irl nd the rest was super enthused nd i just sat there like :S

nd afterwards i tried to finally, finally, like fcking 2 years too late but finally setting up a word document to go drop all these articles and useful websites nd posts in, to debunk eugenics sht and provide helpful websites, resources, accounts etc for those who do want to actually end covid and be able to go to safer places or get vaccines tht might otherwise be thrown away etc.

long sentence but urgh anyway i searched for omikron to check if it's spelled w a K in dutch and the search results were ONLY articles in major news website articles in dutch that celebrate how omicron is 'milder' and defenses of stuff opening up even while infection rates r terribly high and rising and i just felt sick to my stomach already from an NOS article tht claimed we should go for a 'controlled spread' approach for 'natural immunity' as if that wasnt already explicitly stated to be the policy since 2020, and also this child pedetrician / dutch CDC (OMT) member Patricia Bruijning who shared in a dutch talk show she wouldn't vaccinate her kids if she had them etc.

just god i tried to keep working on the word file but the first good article i wanted ti add is inaccessible outside the US nd i got too tired sifting(?) thriugh bookmarks on twt bd just only have the titles for what i wanted to have in the word doc i wanted to base my carrd on. im just mad i started this so late and everything stresses me out nd nothing can relax or distract me

maybe i shiuld rly draw out my feelings but idt i should rn bc i just get even more fristrrated thinking about it urghghg

im just tired of this eugenics bs and so scared of getting infected and for losing loved ones to the virus and every day i dont finish this carrd is another day a person didnt read or share it nd risks their health nd life more. and im just so so fking sick of the gaslighting, being told by others both on individual nd societal level tht i'm exaggerating nd ir's not that bad and that i'm too extremist and 'we don't know if masks work' and i need to consider other people's perspective as if that isn't shoved down our throats by the state nd literally the majority, and that it's not an issue if people die abd that theres no risk for kids and that we're safe and covid is over or over soon and and go along w the givt and media and crowd bc 'polderen' and 'acting normal' nd just the cultural, educatiobal, medical field etc that dont give a fck about face masks nd any other measures bc ppl dont knpw covid spreads via aerosoles nd otherwise dont care

also just remembered my manager / boss in a meeting complained a lot abt how a student in some survey filled in they think the non-EER student tuition fee (abt €11K / year i think) is too high nd didn't make sense w the 'inclusion and diversity' message of the uni. which yeah they're absolutely right abt lol

nd he was furious nd was concerned that this one student would harm the reputation of the school and disagreed strongly bc tuition fees for those groups might get even larger bc the university (supposedly) has too few funds nd needs more bc the student loan system will be stopped etc and him nd colleagues were poking fun at our faculty head(? i think) who complained 'this is a school but this sounds like a business!' (not in the call) nd manager nd colleagues were like 'of course it's a business' nd manager/boss used a weird analogy for why the complaint made no sense nd he said this is why they need to tackle the issue w the marketing team nd use data to determine more where to gather international students from bc those graduates result in larger funds for universities. just. christ. like i somewhat enjoy my job but the school is so corporate i dont know what to say nd again just that whole. polderen sht which basically just means 'go along w the status quo or shut up'

#rambles #im stressed nd tired #nd lost my noise cancelling headphones somewhere ㅠㅠ

[eeveedel]

Aaaalrighty hi love, I'm sending you this ask because out of all the accs I follow you feel most like a big sister or smth.

Anyways, I need some advice! I'm going to Louis' show in Berlin, fortunately bought a ticket off someone, and now this is where the stress begins.

I'm going alone. I don't know anybody going. This will be my first concert ever; and I repeat: my first. concert. ever.

I have no. Fucking. Clue. How any of this works.

I've got a ticket for pit. And now here's the multi-million dollar question: how do I make sure I get a decent spot? Should I queue? If yes, how long should I queue for? What to do with my stuff, like water or a hoodie?

Any other tips for a first-time concert-goer scared shitless?

I would really appreciate you helping me :D xx

✨

Hi love! Happy to be your socially anxious big sister ❤️

Concerts can be a lot of fun, but also very stressful. I generally avoid concerts when I can; seeing louis so many times was a biiiig push for me. I’m very glad I went but I’ll admit it was challenging for me and very scary. I also had a really bad experience at one of my shows because I wasn’t well prepared, and then tried to improve on my experiences at my other shows, so here’s some good tips: 

Getting a decent pit spot can be hard. I don’t know the rules of the venue in Berlin and if they allow camping; if they allow camping, don’t feel pressured to do that. Everyone has their own comfort levels on camping and it can be hard to do alone. If you want to camp, bring a warm sleeping bag, a blanket, a pillow, snacks, water, portable chargers, and things to do, like a book to read or games to play. 

If you don’t want to camp, show up to the line when you can. Wear comfortable, weather-appropriate clothes and comfortable shoes. The line will move slow so sit as often as you can to save your feet. To get a good spot, show up at least a few hours before doors open (3-4 hours at least). Waiting in line is BORING, so make sure your phone is charged or you have something to do in line. 

This can be intimidating, but try to talk to the other people in line and make friends. Usually people are friendly, and if people are being crappy, you can move around in line and find a friendly group to talk to. This is also helpful because you can support each other and help each other find spots. If you feel intimidated, you can ask them things like “how long have you been a Louis fan?” “what do you think Louis will wear tonight?” “what song are you most excited to hear live?” to get a conversation started. 

Eat a filling, healthy dinner before you go. If you’re going to go early, also bring snacks (I recommend protein bars and fruit) and a bottle of water for line. If you’re stressed about your stuff, bring a disposable water bottle so you can throw it away before you go through security. If you can, buy water or get water from security once you’re in the venue. Keep hydrating. If you want to have alcohol, make sure you are drinking water too. 

If you bring a hoodie or coat, your venue might have a coat check but 1) that might cost money and 2) you’ll lose time getting a spot. If you want to avoid that, bring a lightweight jacket you can tie around your waist so you don’t have to carry it and don’t have to put it on the floor or anything. Also, bring a small wallet with just the essentials (ID, covid card, cash/one credit card) and keep it in your front pocket so you can keep track of it. 

Once you’re in the venue, it can be overwhelming at times. It’s dark, there are lots of lights going off, there are tons of people, it’s LOUD. I find that a spot on the sides can give you a good view of the stage while also giving you flexibility to take breaks, sit down, or go to the bathroom if you need to. If you feel uncomfortable at all during the show (sick, light headed, like you’re being pushed), let the people around you know and get a safe spot. Prioritize your health over saving your spot, and remember, Louis wouldn’t want you to be sick just to see a few more seconds of the show. Take care of yourself first so you can keep having fun. 

I hope this is helpful! If you have questions about anything specific, please let me know. I hope you have a wonderful time at your show, Louis is a very fun first concert to have 💓

[uncloseted]

Hi, I don't know this is the right place but I think your answers are always so thought out and impartial so here goes, I'm turning 30 soon and I am anxious about the future as I went through years of depression in my 20s and do not think I lived my life, because my actions were the csq of my mental state and I did not know that at that time, I thought depression was just a mood and not an illness and I used to think there was just smth wrong with me, Now I see everything differently but it's a

2- lot to take, especially because I have to re-evaluate my relationships and feel it's like a new life. the thing is I'm anxious because I dint feel ready nor open to do what people expect me to at that age get married have kids soon, and because of depression I just now will start my career, I think I want a chance to live my life but also I am afraid that I can't without being the oddball or because everyone at my age lives a different life and there will be no one to experience life with

3- I think idw to spoil my life again with bad decisions but feel it's a bit unfair I have to settle Down because people tell me the clock is ticking or that there is an age to have fun, and above that I am stressed out that my younger friends all think life is dead and should be worked out at that time and friends my age are judgmental and frustrated in their lives, it makes me think passion has a time limit and I think it's what stresses me out more than anything? like it's too late to feel it

I think there’s a lot to talk about here, but first and foremost I want to let you know that you’re absolutely not alone in this experience.  There’s this really great Tumblr post (that of course has been lost to history, apparently, even though I swear I see someone reblog it like once a week, because Tumblr) that talks about how millennials are “temporally displaced”.  Basically, we know we’re supposed to be “adults”, but we have no means of achieving any of the traditional adult milestones because we’ve been systemically screwed over.  We’re poorer than previous generations, less likely to have “careers”, let alone careers with benefits like health insurance, and the idea of buying a house or having a child are way out of our financial capabilities (in part because so many of us are saddled with student debt to get those careers that never materialized).  We’re getting married later because dating apps have given us an abundance of choice when it comes to partners, simultaneously giving us the idea that nobody wants a serious relationship (the secret is, most people do want a serious relationship) while also giving us the idea that even if we were in a serious relationship, there might be someone better out there... my point is that the way you’re feeling isn’t your fault, and a lot of people are going through it with you.  A lot of your peers are also in no place to get married or have kids and haven’t started their careers.  My guess is that you’re actually in the majority rather than being an oddball.

But here’s the good news, though.  Life has no rules.  If you want to go be a club kid for a year, or go teach English in a different country, or pursue a career or pursue a relationship, why not?  Sure, maybe you’ll get some weird looks from people, but those people suck and they’re trapped in their own ideas of how they “should” be and what’s “respectable”.  Why shouldn’t you be allowed to keep having fun and feeling passionately about life?  Isn’t that vastly superior to the alternative?  Who wants to be cynical and judgmental?  I certainly don’t, and I don’t think other people do, either.  They just don’t really see an alternative.  To me, life is way too short not to enjoy it, and that’s doubly true if you’ve struggled with depression.  I think you deserve to feel happy, whatever that means to you, regardless of what other people think.