#inmy heart of hearts i HAVE to believe in askr meds exist and all you have to do is ask the right person/pull the right strings.

[moe-broey]

Hhnghb

#FULLY MEDICATED AGAIN. #idk.... what to do...... i. want to do so many things. nothing is striking me at the moment though #i have The Pile (all of the ever-growing askr fam collection in my queue storage) #I HAD. SO MANY THOUGHTS. ABOUT VERONICA'S MAP. I WAS GONNA MAKE SOME POSTS ABOUT IT. AT LEAST HIGHLIGHTING SOME YHINGS #i was gona. post more of moe. and drop Some lore but mostly housekeeping #i won a little anya keychain plush at the arcade just to study her and use her as a ref. she is so cute. #i HAD a directing for the al/shari plush bodies but idk. if. i want to commit. i have no idea at thsi point #yesterday was SO fucked up i fucking meant it when i say you only start to feel the absence of meds day 2. #it's crazy..... like painkillers but for your brain..... like it's striking how i do have a lot of these thoughts/feelings #like all of the time but the meds just make them more manageable. put me at a baseline to sit w them better. #AH I WANTED TO BLEACH MY HAIR AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!! I FINALLY ALSO PICKED UP MORE HAIRBLEACH #yesterday was so fuckinh stupid though like all day i was just spacing out and teary. #like ah ..... the horrors............ blinks so sadly and sheds such delicate tears. dude come on #inmy heart of hearts i HAVE to believe in askr meds exist and all you have to do is ask the right person/pull the right strings. #i have NEVER been a 'fix my disability' bitch. we are managing that shit. through treament and accomodations. #it's also just more useful that way to me. to conceptualize and also to make peace w it. #like it has a feedback loop effect to it. through writing i'm inevitably sorting through thoughts/feelings #that WILL be relevant to my day to day life. #i think.... i am starting to feel a little better....... i just lack direction.