#in favor of writing my 444k words and counting beast of a fic (aka what i ALWAYS end up going back to bc i love the attention

[orcelito]

Don't understand ppl who can be in a zine. Like more power to u guys but I can't imagine my brain Ever accepting me trying to force it to write a specific thing. It rarely wants to write even what it wants to write. I have to trick it with treats and praise. Trying to do a guided writing??? No fuckin way lmfao

#speculation nation #i cant force my brain to do what it doesnt want to. that's just how it goes #and i rarely plan anything out concretely bc then it would be stifling and my brain doesnt like that #i have my miasma of Ideas that float in my head and i lay general guidelines down like train tracks #and then fill everything in as i go. one board at a time. #have to dangle scenes above my head like 'you want this? you want this? come on Think about it do you want this?' #and my brain has to be like 'hmmm yes i think i do want it' and then i lie in bed for 2 hours and suddenly i have a scene written #OR it's a scene my brain hates and doesnt want to do but it is important for the plot so i force it out across days or even weeks #where am i going with this. im just rambling. #anyways anytime i see zines mentioned theres a brief thought of like 'what if i contributed' #but then i remember my 8k word first chapter of a multichapter fic that has not been updated in over a year #in favor of writing my 444k words and counting beast of a fic (aka what i ALWAYS end up going back to bc i love the attention #and also it's my Baby. big baby. giant baby. it has infected my brain) #yea. i would not be able to dependably work on a zine lmfao