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delta-roseblr · 5 years

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Today I have been thinking a lot of your stories. I was thinking that sometimes when I read something that implides Dean and Will, Dean seems more supportive with Will than Will with Dean. I understand that Will have a lot of silbings, and another stuff, like demigod stuff in his head but sometimes it seems that Dean give more than he receives from Will, and that is a think that really make Felix angry. Is that way? I am sure that Will loves Dean but can you show us a lovely scene between them?

Today isn’t 8/12 as promised but it is here. I’m not sure if this is exactly what you had in mind, lovely but I do hope you enjoy.

And I am sorry because this is a little angsty!

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Felix had dumped him.

He loved Felix, and Felix had broken upwith him.

Felix had dumped him and then just walkedaway like they had been nothing.

It was all his fault. Dean felt that truthin his very soul. It was all his fault because he said it out loud, those wordshe wasn’t supposed to say, “I love you.” It was bad enough that he felt thatway when he shouldn’t have but saying it out loud was just asking for trouble.He just couldn’t help himself. He had just wanted to hear the words, and Felixhad been asleep, or at least Dean had thought he was but now…..

A sudden spike of rage-filled him as Deanrealized just how badly he had messed everything up. He wasn’t the angry type,not really. The emotion was so strong, it was blinding. It didn’t feel real,none of it felt real until Dean’s fist came into contact with the hard metaldoor of his locker.

There was a loud thud as Dean’s handexploded with such pain, it took his breath away. Dean stepped back until hehit the lockers behind him. He slid down until he was sitting on the floor ofthe locker room. As he hit the floor, he pulled his pulsing hand toward himselfand cradled it with his other hand. His head was spinning, and even through thepain, only one thought was playing in his mind.

Felix broke up with me.

He wasn’t sure how long he sat there. Timehad stopped existing the moment Felix had walked away from him. Somewhere inthe distance, past the pain and the screaming void that filled his chest, Deanwas vaguely aware of voices approaching, but it hardly seemed important.Nothing was important anymore.

“What the-,” Watts started but thenstopped short, “Oh.”

Dean looked up to see Will, Wash, Watts,and Kyle standing at the end of the row of lockers staring at Dean with avariety of expressions, none of which were particularly positive. Will’s eyeswere almost comically wide as he exclaimed, “What happened!?!”

His stomach lurched, and Dean wasn’t sureif it was from the pain in his hand or the answer. He looked down at his handwhich didn’t look quite right. “Felix broke up with me,” he admitted quietly.It was even harder to say out loud then he could have anticipated. It felt alittle like getting his heart ripped out.

“That wasn’t the way I saw thatgoing,” Wash commented. He was clearly trying to make the comment under hisbreath, but he did a real shit job of it. Dean was pretty sure aliens on Marsfucking heard him. Dean didn’t even know what the fuck he meant by that either,and maybe if he was in his right mind he would have asked, but all he couldthink about was Felix.

“Dude!” Kyle exclaimed, and when Deanturned, he saw the redhead glaring at Wash like he had been personallyoffended. “Way to be a dick! Do you really think now is the appropriate timefor a comment like that!?!” he shouted, “Way to be a fucking asshole!”

“Okay,” Will said. He clearly didn’t givea fuck about the little exchange between Kyle and Wash, but that wasn’tsurprising. When Will wanted to be, he could be a man of singular focus. As Deanwatched Will look from Dean’s hand to the locker and then back to his hand,Dean could tell he was going to want to be in that moment. “But what happenedto your hand and the locker?” he questioned.

Dean could hear the worry growing inWill’s voice with each word. He added guilt to the pile of negative emotionthat was sucking Dean in like a black hole. He couldn’t do anything to fixanything, and he couldn’t say anything because he knew he was beyond pretendingthat anything was okay. Nothing was going to be okay ever again. He dropped hishead and said nothing.

“I also don’t want to be an alarmist,”Kyle chimed in. His voice was an octave higher than Dean thought was normal,but he didn’t know Kyle well enough to know if that was true or what that meant.“But his hand is really swollen,” he pointed out nervously.

Dean didn’t move. He couldn’t even findthe drive to lift his head. Maybe it was that or the pain but either way, Willseemed to appear next to him leaning over him like magic. He didn’t touchDean’s hand, which was in fact quite swollen, but his hands hovered over it.Dean almost thought he felt something warm, but it was so faint it must havebeen a trick of his mind.

“It looks worse than it is,” Will grumbledas his hands continued to hover over Dean’s.

“Dude, it looks broken,” Watts stated.

“It’s fine,” Will shot back in a tone Deanwasn’t sure he had ever heard from his cousin before. It really left no roomfor argument. As if to test that statement, Will reached out, and his fingersjust barely grazed Dean’s busted hand.

The pain was instant and sharp, and Deancouldn’t hold in the hiss of pain that escaped him. Will immediately pulled hishand away and the pain slowly faded.

“He needs to see a doctor,” Someone statedurgently. The pain, both physical and emotional, dulled Dean’s mind so it tookhim too long to realize it was Kyle talking, and he seemed genuinely worried.“Maybe I should get coach?”

“Absolutely not!” Will practicallyshouted. It seemed like an exaggerated reaction. It definitely something Washor Watts would normally comment on, but Will didn’t give them a chance. BeforeDean could do anything more than blink up at Will, Will was on his feet. Hesnatched up his backpack as well as Dean’s, dangling both over one shoulder. “I’lltake care of it,” he assured, “Tell coach nothing.” All their possessionsgathered, Will leaned and started heaving Dean off the ground. “Come on, Dean.I’m taking you home.”

Will urged him forward and Dean allowedit. Wash and Watts stepped out of the way. Kyle did too but he looked like hewanted to protest. Dean had no idea what Will did to stop that, but he didsomething because with one look from him Kyle’s mouth snapped shut and let thempass without a word.

Will had been tall since they had both hittheir teens, but Dean rarely thought about the fact that Will was taller thanhim. As Will practically dragged him through the school, out the front door,and through the student parking lot, he couldn’t help but notice the heightdifference. That, and Will was pretty strong, but Dean guessed that came withsurviving several battles.

When they reached Dean’s car, Willreleased him propped up against the trunk of the car like Dean needed that tostand. He slumped against it so Will might have been right about that.

He just stood there like a limp sack ofpotatoes and watched as Will tossed his own backpack on the trunk (rathercarelessly) before almost frantically patting down Dean’s bag. Dean didn’t knowwhat Will was expecting to find. There was just books, clothes, a water bottle,a few condoms, and a small tube of lube, and those last two things wouldn’t beneeded anymore.

God, Dean was going to miss that. Itwasn’t just the sex either, although he was going to miss that too. Nothingwould ever compare to curling up in bed next to Felix, both naked and still alittle sweaty, and perfectly happy as they slipped away to dreamland. That wasnever going to happen again because Felix dumped him. Felix dumped him becausehe didn’t love Dean back…..

“Dean!” Will shouted jarring Dean from histhought. When Dean looked he found Will crouched on the ground hunched overDean’s backpack. He had been standing a second before or at least that was whatDean had thought, but he was looking up at Dean with a frustrated expressionlike he had been trying to catch his attention for a while. “Where are yourkeys?” he stressed the question like it was life and death. It wasn’t, of thatDean was sure. Nothing mattered anymore.

“He dumped me and then just walked awaylike I was nothing,” he reminded. The numb was settling back in, except for hishand that continued to throb.

“Dean!” Will shouted, “Keys!”

Dean slumped more against the car. He knewhis weight on the trunk that already only worked about half the time wasn’tgood, but he didn’t care. “Front pocket of my backpack,” he answered flatly.

Will huffed and went back to Dean’s bag.He found the keys exactly where Dean had said they would be and then was backto moving around the car frantically. Both their bags were stowed in the backseat and then Will was ushering him toward the passenger side of the chair. Heopened the door as he ordered, “Get in the car.”

Dean did what he was told, dropping intothe seat like he was exhausted. He was barely in the seat when Will slammed thedoor shut behind him and was climbing behind the steering wheel within seconds.

Will was muttering as he tried to adjustthe driver’s seat to accommodate his long-ass legs. That sucked for Willbecause the car barely fit Dean. After a few seconds of struggling to getcomfortable, Will gave up and went to buckle himself in.

Dean realized he had never actually drivenwith Will before. He knew Will had his license, but Dean was the one with thecar, so he was always the one to drive. He had no fucking idea how good of adriver Will was. He definitely should wear his seat belt, but when he reachedfor it the pulsing in his hand turned to a hot pain that almost took his breathaway.

He pulled his hand back and stared at itin confusion. Kyle was right, his hand did look swollen, and something lookedoff about his fingers. “My hand hurts,” he admitted with confusion.

“Yeah, well you broke three of yourfingers so that is to be expected,” Will grumbled and he sounded pissed.

“Oh,” Dean exclaimed. His brain wasn’tworking right because it took him a minute to remember that Will could justsense that stuff. He looked up in time to see Will jamming the keys into thecar’s ignition. “So, are you taking me to the hospital?” he asked. He wassurprisingly neutral at the idea. Normally he would have freaked the fuck outbecause the last thing he needed was hospital bills on top of everything else,but he couldn’t find it in him to care about something so stupid and small asmoney.

“No,” Will answered matter-of-factly. Heturned the key and the car started right up with none of the weird clicks orgrowls that it used to have. Uncle Bobby had done a pretty good job fixing thething up, but considering how much Felix had paid…Fuck, don’t think aboutthat. “I’m taking you home. I can heal you there,” Will informed.

“Oh,” Dean nodded and settled back intohis seat with nothing better to do or say for the moment.

Dean managed to buckle in with Will’s assistance,and they drove off. Will’s driving wasn’t as bad as it could have beenconsidering he almost never drove. He was obviously anxious and seemed hyperfocusedon the road, but he wasn’t doing anything dangerous. He also drove at least tenmiles under the speed limit, so it felt like it took forever to get to Dean’shouse.

The driveway was empty when they arrived,so Dean guessed his dad wasn’t around. He had no idea where the fuck he couldhave been, but he guessed he was thankful that he wasn’t home. He knew aboutall of Will’s demigod stuff, but Will didn’t know that and explaining thatwould have been awkward. Dean didn’t have the energy for that.

Will, on the other hand, was nothing butenergy. As Dean just sat there marveling at the pain in his hand, Will climbedout of the car, collected both their bags from the back seat, and pulled Dean’sdoor open. He didn’t force Dean out of the car, but he gestured with enoughurgency that Dean got out without question.

In the house, Will dropped their bags bythe door, ushered Dean into the kitchen, and dropped him into a chair, and thenscurried off. When he came back, he deposited three pills in front of Dean andordered, “Take these.”

Dean looked at the pills in front of him.They were obviously aspirin, and Dean didn’t have a problem with such things,but he normally didn’t take things unless he absolutely had too. His hand wasdefinitely throbbing, and under normal circumstances, he would have takensomething for it, but this wasn’t normal circumstances. The pain was serving asa rather effective distraction from things he didn’t want to think about. Hedidn’t know what he would do if it went away.

“Dean!” Will growled, catching hisattention, “Take the pills or I will make you.”

Dean did as he was told because he didn’thave the energy to fight Will. Using his good hand, he swiped the pills off thetable, brought them to his mouth, and swallowed them dry. It was a nothingaction, but Will seemed relieved by it, at least enough to grab a chair andmove it to sit right in front of Dean.

Will held out a hand as he ordered, “Letme see your hand.”

Again, Dean did as he was told and gaveWill his injured hand. Will accepted it and examined it for a minute. Deantried to read Will’s expression but couldn’t. He knew Will so well it was weirdnot to be able to tell what he was thinking just by looking at him.

After a moment of inspection, Will startedto hum. Dean didn’t recognize the melody, but that hardly seemed important whenhe felt the warmth filling his hand. At first it was nice, like dipping hishand in warm water, but it quickly turned hot to the point that it was almost unbearable.Just when Dean thought he couldn’t take it anymore, Will released his hand andthe heat began to fade.

“There,” Will declared as he sat back inhis seat suddenly looking tired, “That should feel better.”

Dean looked down at his hand. The swellingseemed to have gone and his fingers looked normal again. It did, in fact feelbetter, which made everything so much worse. “I guess,” he offered quietlybecause he knew he needed to say something.

Will let out a long sigh before asking,“Do you want to talk about what happened?”

Dean almost laughed, a cold bitter laughbut managed to hold it in. Dean wanted to talk to Felix. He needed tounderstand why things suddenly went so wrong. He needed to know what he had donewrong. Everything had seemed to be going so well, Dean didn’t understand how hecould have been so blind.

Will had none of the answers he wanted andthe idea of talking made his chest hurt. “No,” he answered.

If he was expecting Will to argue orpester, he was dead ass wrong. “Okay,” Will replied with a little nod.

They sat in silence. After a minute or twoWill got up and went to the refrigerator. There wasn’t much to find in therebeyond beer and a few pieces of leftover pizza, but Will somehow managed tofind a few bottles of water and brought them back to the table. He placed abottle in front of Dean before dropping back into his own chair and twistingoff the cap of his own water.

The silence stretched, and the thoughtsand questions swirling around in Dean’s mind started to become more then hecould take. Looking down at his hands resting limply in his lap, Dean finallyadmitted his crime out loud, “I never should have said I loved him out loud.”He swallowed down the lump that was forming in his throat before adding, “Iknew that would ruin everything.”

“Dean,” Will started and he was speakingwith such sympathy, “I don’t think-”

Dean knew on some level whatever Will wasgoing to say was meant to be reassuring or comforting, but all he heard waspity, and he couldn’t deal with pity. “He said it was all a mistake,” Deanshared. The lump in his throat felt like it was getting bigger, and his eyeswere beginning to burn with the tears he was trying to hold in. Knowing it wasa mistake, he still couldn’t stop himself from continuing to talk. “The bestthing that has ever happened to me was just a mistake to him.” That might havehurt more than anything. Felix had made Dean feel things and want things henever thought he would, and to Felix, it was nothing.

Dean heard Will suck in a long breathbefore speaking more firmly than Dean had expected. “I don’t believe that,”Will stated with certainty.

“It’s what he said,” Dean assured as hestarted to pick at his nails. He sort of missed the throbbing in his hand. Ithad been painful, but it was better than the aching in his chest.

“I believe he said it, but I don’t believeit’s true,” Will stated. He sounded so certain of something he couldn’t know.What he said was so tempting because it offered him such hope, but Dean couldstill hear Felix’s words in his mind. “Anyone who’s seen you two together wouldknow that isn’t the truth,” Will stated.

That wasn’t something Dean had everexpected to hear from Will. He looked up and blinked at him for a few secondsbefore replying, “He said it.”

“I know,” Will nodded and then shrugged,“I wish I could tell you why, but Felix has never really acted in a way thatmakes sense to me.”

That might have been the closest thing tonice Will had ever said about Felix. Dean wanted to marvel at the fact that hewaited until Dean and Felix had broken up to say something like that.

Then there was the fact that Will wasright. He didn’t know Felix, not as Dean did. As much as Dean wanted to believewhat Will said and take comfort in it, he couldn’t. He couldn’t understand whyFelix would say those things if he didn’t mean them. Nothing had changed, andFelix put such a premium on honesty, he wouldn’t just lie.

They fell into another long bout ofsilence. Talking was hard, but the silence was worse. Dean just kept thinkingabout all the different ways his life was going to suck now that Felix wasgone.

Weirdly, a conversation he and Will hadhad months earlier came to mind. “Do you remember when I said that if you andNico broke up that it would suck, but you’d get over it?” he questioned lookingup at Will. How Will hadn’t smacked him for that statement Dean would neverunderstand because looking back it was so fucking stupid.

Will looked confused by the question butnodded as he answered, “Yeah.”

“I was wrong,” Dean admitted, “I was sofucking wrong.” That was it. That was the declaration that broke him. A painfulsounding sob escaped him before he added, “There is no getting past this.”

With that Dean gave in. He brought hisface to rest in his hands and gave into the howling agony that had swallowedhis heart and emptied his chest and started sobbing.

“Dean-” Will spoke and he sounded sohelpless as he brought a hand to rest on Dean’s shoulder. “I wish I could do orsay something to make this easier for you,” he admitted with great regret, “Orthat I could shake some sense into Felix.”

Dean sniffled and lifted his head to lookback at Will. “Yeah, shake,” he let out a humorless laugh, “I’m sure that iswhat you want to do.” Dean recognized that he was being a bit of a dick andthat Will was trying, but he couldn’t stop himself. “I’m surprised you haven’tsaid I told you so yet,” he admitted wiping at his tears with the back of hishand.

Will would have had every right to beannoyed by that comment, but if he was, he didn’t let it show. He just shookhis head, “Never going to say that.” He sat back a little in his chair beforecontinuing, “I won’t lie and say that you didn’t surprise me by going forFelix. And I definitely don’t see him the way you do, but you were happy, andthat’s really all I cared about.” Will paused and looked down at his hands.Dean couldn’t tell if he looked guilty or wounded, and it didn’t really matterbecause neither option seemed great. “I wish I could do more, but there arethings I can’t heal. I’m so sorry.”

Fuck. Dean had nothingto say to that. It wasn’t Will’s fault, and he expected nothing more from himthen he had already done. There was nothing he could say or do so he turned andonce again buried his face in his hands and started weeping.

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