#imagine: dan avidan living in your kitchen sink | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

trubbull · 7 years

Text

La Vie En Camaieu // Chapters 1 & 2

[[Read on Archive Of Our Own]]

Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Category: F/M Fandoms: Game Grumps, TWRP | Tupper Ware Remix Party (Band), Starbomb, Ninja Sex Party - Fandom Relationships: Dan Avidan/Original Character(s), Dan Avidan & Original Character(s), Suzy Berhow/Arin Hanson, Brian Wecht/Rachel Bitney Wecht Characters: Original Female Character(s), Original Character, Dan Avidan, Arin Hanson, Suzy Berhow, Brian Wecht, Commander Meouch, Doctor Sung, Havve Hogan, Lord Phobos Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Colorblindness, Rating May Change

Summary: It seems like all of Dan's friends can see the world in all its colorful beauty. He's nearly 40 and he still views in the world in shades of grey.

At a fateful NSP/TWRP/Starbomb concert, everything changes.

**Inspired by iamavacado's egobang story 'Love Is Any Color' and its one-shot 'Even Rainy Days Have Color.' This has been posted with their permission.**

Chapter 1: Leigh "Blue" Daniel Avidan

Dan could hear his name being said, distantly, but it wasn’t quite loud enough to penetrate his concentration.

He was seated in the living room of his small house, in the heart of Los Angeles, listening intently to some raw audio from the last recording session he and Brian had done for Ninja Sex Party. He would close his eyes to listen, allowing himself to become lost in the notes. When he closed his eyes and listened, he could escape to a different place. A place where gravity wasn’t quite as strong, and walls weren’t quite as limiting or hard. A place that was colorful and beautiful.

“Dan! Daniel! I’ve been calling you! I want to show you something.”

Dan’s eyes shot open and he quickly pulled his headset off, whipping his head around to look at his best friend, Arin. He had completely forgotten Arin was visiting. Arin laughed warmly at the bewildered expression on Dan’s face, “Dude, if you had turned your head any faster, you would have died.”

“Sorry, man, I was…” He realized mid-sentence that it was obvious what he had been doing, so he shook his head and opted to instead ask, “What did you wanna show me?”

Arin grinned, and motioned toward the kitchen with his hand, nodding his head in that direction as well. Dan untangled himself from the laptop cords and throw blanket he had been wrapped up in, and stood up, taking a moment to stretch. He stood on the balls of his feet, curling his toes into the soft, gray carpet underfoot, and extended his bony arms over his head, eliciting pops from his back and the joints in his arms. Once the satisfying feeling began to ripple through his body, he followed Arin into the small kitchen, his bare feet softly patting against the tile floor.

Dan’s place was always clean. It almost looked vacant, as dust was a much more frequent occupant than he was. He was always busy with Ninja Sex Party, or with Arin at the office. In fact, he probably spent more nights sleeping on the couch at the office, or in the guest bedroom at Arin’s or Brian’s, than he did in his own bed at home. The kitchen looked especially untouched, as Dan rarely cooked. The kitchen really only got use whenever he had a friend over, and he was almost never the one actually utilizing the space.

When Dan entered the kitchen, Arin was standing in the center, by the island-counter, where a couple of items were placed, which Dan knew hadn’t been there before. A large box of chocolates, and a card that Dan barely registered, instead distracted by the third item; A small, ceramic vase, filled with flowers that looked soft and inviting.

They were a gradient of black and white, to Dan at least. Dan couldn’t see color, at least not yet. As was the case for anyone in the world that had not yet found their soulmate.

“Suzy’s been feeling shitty, so I got her these. I wasn’t sure if it was quite as, I don’t know, romantic or anything as I thought it might be. What do you think, too cheesy?” Arin looked over at his friend, smiling brightly, until he saw the look in Dan’s eyes, causing him to falter. He knew in an instant that he’d made a mistake, but it was too late to reel Dan in.

Dan stared at the flowers with a very distant expression, a faintly sad smile on his lips. He reached out to the flowers, honing in on a petal that was hanging precariously from its place. It was soft as velvet, as soft as fleeting kisses. He rubbed the petal between the rough pads of his fingers, causing it to rip and wrinkle. He let it fall to the counter top when it was just shreds, watching it settle before he spoke,

“What color are they, Ar’?” Dan asked, his voice quiet and dejected.

“Dan, I’m sorry, I—“ Arin began, starting to reach out to Dan, but he was stopped short.

“No, dude, it’s okay… I just want to know…” Dan stepped closer to the counter, and lowered his head so he could smell the flowers. As he did so, his hair fell down like a veil, and Arin could no longer see his face.

“Well… They’re red, different shades of red. Some of ‘em are closer to pink.” Arin said, slowly. As he continued to speak, he took a half-step closer to Dan, placing a hand on the back of his best friend’s shoulder. “Red is like… Angry, it’s a violent color. But it’s also a color for love. It’s a, passionate, color. It’s a very human color. Blood is red. The star on your Danny Sexbang costumes are red.”

“Red.” Dan said, as he leaned back away from the flowers, looking at the shades of gray and black before him. “I bet Suz’ will love ‘em, then.”

“Yeah, I hope she will.” Arin said, glancing back at the flowers, then back to his friend. He exhaled from his nose slowly, before hesitantly offering, “The vase is blue.”

Dan’s sad expression pulled away from the black and gray flowers, and instead settled on the glossy vase they were contained in. It was nearly white, to him, and around its thinnest point was a ribbon that was slightly darker. He brought his fingertips to touch the cool surface of the ceramic vase.

Blue had been described to Dan more times than any other color. Dan enjoyed hearing the color be described. It was his favorite color. He hoped that when the day came, it would be as beautiful of a color as he imagined it being. He felt as if he could touch something, and know it was blue just by touching it.

“Blue is calm and loose. Water is blue. Well, I mean, bodies of water are blue, water alone doesn’t really have a color. The sky is the purest blue in the world, but only during the day, when the sun is shining. Your costumes are all blue. The shirt you’re wearing right now is blue.” Arin gave Dan an encouraging smile, rubbing a circle between his friend’s shoulder blades with the heel of his hand. “Blue is your color, Dan. Happy and free.”

“But I thought blue was a sad color… Isn’t it?” Dan didn’t want his friend to see the glint in his eyes, so he kept his gaze trained on the bouquet, trying to discern the differences in tint among the individual flowers. Red was a very dark color, apparently.

“Sometimes. Some people see it as a sad color, but… Knowing you, Dan, I can’t ever see blue as a sad color. I associate it with too many happy things, because of you.” Arin smiled even wider, trying his best to redirect from the feeling Dan was slowly sinking into.

Dan smiled slightly, and sighed. “Thanks, big cat.” He turned to Arin, but looked beyond his friend’s concerned face, to the illuminated clock on the microwave. 6:32. “You should probably get going, it’s after six-thirty.”

“Oh, shit, yeah… I told Suz’ I’d take care of dinner… Are you gonna be okay, dude? Why don’t you join—“

“Nah, man, I’ll be fine.” Dan straightened himself up, and forced energy into his voice, putting on the best smile he could manage, for Arin.

Over the years they had known each other, Arin had seen this guise before. But, while he knew Dan had depressed spells like this, he would be fine. He was always fine. Dan knew when he needed to accept help, and when he just needed time alone.

“Alright, if you’re sure. If you change your mind, you can just call me, alright? If you’d rather go see Brian, I’m sure—“

“Arin, go home.”

“Alright, alright. I’ll see you tomorrow at 2 for more Dark Souls, right?” He gave Dan a reassuring pat.

Dan nodded, his hair bouncing with the movement. “Yeah, I’ll be there, don’t worry about me, honest. Get home to your sick wife, dude, you’ve been with me all day. She’s gonna start thinking we’re planning to elope.”

“Oh, if only, Dan.” Arin grinned, which made Dan grin in turn, and they gave each other a friendly hug, patting the other on the back, before Arin departed, toting along the gifts he had gotten for Suzy.

Once Dan had locked the door behind his friend, the house was once again quiet. Dan leaned back against the door, which was located in the kitchen. From his position, he could see the discarded and damaged petal still sitting on his countertop, and it caused him to sigh.

Red. The color of anger, but also of love. A color he felt he knew intimately, but at the same time felt like a stranger to. He couldn’t touch something and experience red, like he could blue. Perhaps the only reason he knew blue so well, was because he was blue. Not so much in the sense that Arin had described—happy, free, and loose—but in the sense that Arin had tried so hard to redirect from.

Sad. Blue was a sad color, and Dan knew it well.

He sunk down onto his heels, still leaning his backside against the door. He was mentally beating himself up, now. He always tried so hard not to get like this in front of Arin. Not because he was afraid of expressing his feelings, or some other hyper-masculine bullshit, but because he didn’t want his best friend to feel guilty. Arin didn’t deserve that. All he did was have Suzy, his perfect match. They had been together for more than half of Arin’s life. In fact, they had met each other at an incredibly young age, which was a marvel in itself. If anything, Dan was beating himself up for not being as happy for Arin as he should be. But, in retrospect, he was allowed to be a little bitter.

Dan was nearly 40 now. He’d read somewhere that 90% of people found their matches by now. People were often shocked when they found out Dan still could not see colors. He didn’t outright tell people he couldn’t, as he wasn’t looking for pity, and he hated when people felt sorry for him. Like he didn’t already know what he was missing out on.

There were those that went Without. Those who, even when they felt with all their being that they had found their match, would always see the world in a muted filter. At one time, Dan had felt this way about someone. About a girl. But she ended up finding her soulmate at one of his performances. That had been back when he was still with the Northern Hues, and a large part of the reason he left the band.

And then there were those that were called One-Sided; those that would find their supposed soulmate, and color would filter into the world, but their person of their affections would still see nothing but hues of gray. They would either fall in love, and remain together despite the odds, or the One-Sider would watch idly by as their supposed soulmate would see color for the first time with someone else. It was rare, but not unheard of.

It pained Dan to think about. He had been approached by fans in the past, who claimed that they saw color for the first time when they saw him. It would excite him, until he would meet them in person, and nothing would change. The world was still colorless. It had happened so many times that he wasn’t even sure if they had all been telling the truth. There wasn’t really a way to determine if one was lying or not. But, whether they had been lying or not, whether it had been a ploy to get close to their idol, or a real, genuine instance of One-Sidedness, it always broke their heart when Dan would tell them he couldn’t see anything. Knowing that he was responsible for so many instances of heartbreak made his own chest weigh so much heavier.

Dan hoped against hope that he was not Without. Seeing colors wasn’t something he had been concerned about when he was much younger, but he found that the older he became, the more significance it held to him. He even found himself wishing he was one-sided. He could bear it, as long as he could someday see the world for all the beauty it had to offer. Arin could see it, Brian could see it, and they were two of the happiest people that Dan had ever known. Ironically, they would both describe Dan the same way.

If only they knew.

Chapter 2: Sad Eyes

Notes: This chapter is 2.5x longer than the last one. I'm so sorry.

She has beautiful, blue eyes. Or, so she has been told. She wouldn’t know, as she can’t tell the difference between them or the color of her lips when she looks in the mirror. Throughout her childhood, she received compliments from adults, particularly the elderly, on her unique combination of traits. Her red hair, her blue eyes, her lovely pale and fair skin. She would smile and thank them, but she never really felt right in thanking them. It felt like she was being awarded for something she didn’t compete for; She couldn’t appreciate what she was being complimented on, and it felt like she was being cheated, or cheating someone else.

They say that it’s impossible for anyone to see colors before they turn 20, but there’s been stories that say otherwise. Kids in high school would claim to be able to see colors, but, there isn’t really a way to test for such a thing. ‘Oh, you can see colors? Well, what color is that wall?’ They could say anything and as far as you knew, they would be right.

Being able to see colors wasn’t something that she bothered herself with while growing up. She had peers that seemed to care about nothing else but colors, but she never understood why. While it was a fantastical thing to imagine, it was kind of pointless to be concerned about it at such a young age. You only saw colors when you set your eyes on the person who you were meant to be with forever, and there was always the chance that it was a fluke; Some people were flawed, and they would colors for people who wouldn’t see colors for them. It was a big deal. It was a big, stressful deal.

So, she did her best to not attract attention. She kept to herself, kept her head down, avoided the possibility. She just wanted to survive the stress of school without having to worry about balancing the life of another person, to whom she was tied by the fabric of existence.

Thankfully, she made it out of high school without experiencing colors. She never met anyone during her childhood that she would have wanted to see colors for, anyway. She had friends that dated, but never saw the point in it. Why waste time and bother hurting someone by stringing them along, when you both knew that somewhere out there, your true partner was waiting for you to come find them?

So, she didn’t date. In fact, she avoided concerning herself with colors or finding her partner entirely. She just wanted to play video games, draw, and watch YouTube.

There was no way she could have expected that those hobbies would lead her to seeing colors.

She had discovered Markiplier’s videos during her senior year of high school. Admittedly, she was a little late to the party. Her sister, who was still in middle school at the time, had been watching him for much longer. Before then, she had never understood the appeal of watching someone on YouTube play a video game. She finally did when she sat down and watched Mark play a game. It wasn’t about the game, but about the person playing it. Mark became a source of joy in her life when she realized she had very little joy at all.

Living in a world of gray, depression was rampant, especially in people her age. Doctors encouraged her, and others like her, to date and mingle even if they didn’t see colors, because caging themselves in their rooms behind luminescent screens would not make it easier to ever see colors. While she knew this was true, it didn’t make her any more eager to leave the safety of her room and seek companionship.

She had niche interests, she rationalized. She wasn’t going to meet people who shared those interests at a bar, or at a club. She was better off remaining in her room.

Years passed like this.

The day she first saw colors was on a lazy Tuesday in the middle of the summer, a year after graduating from high school. She wasn’t taking any summer courses, and she was gratefully unemployed, so she remained at home with her family, enjoying the heat. Well, as much as she could. She had always been prone to sunburn, with her freckled and fair skin. As such, she much preferred sitting inside with a cool fan and loud music.

Mark had uploaded a new video. His regular intro didn’t play, instead the camera was full-screen and he was smiling as always, which made her smile. She noticed his hair was a different tint of gray now, indicating he must have dyed it again. What color, she had no idea.

“Hey guys, I’m Markiplier, and welcome to this extra-long episode of Prop Hunt. Before we get to the episode, however, I wanted to tell you guys that I was in a music video with my good friends, the Game Grumps! Dan Avidan, or Not-so-Grump to all of you Lovelies out there, is in a band that I’ve mentioned on the show before, called Ninja Sex Party, and he asked me to be in one of his music videos! So, take a minute, click this link, and go watch it!” Mark pointed around the screen and a link bounced about within the confines of the video box, tempting viewers to click it.

Normally, she wouldn’t have. To this day, she’s not sure what possessed her to click it. Perhaps it was the fact that she had never heard Mark mention this band before, despite his testimony that he often mentioned them. Maybe she wasn’t paying as close enough attention as she thought. Maybe it was the absolutely ridiculous name of the band that attracted her attention.

Or maybe it was fate.

She clicked the link, and was taken to another YouTube channel, a new tab opening, a new video beginning to play. A deep voice was speaking, as pictures of the galaxy flashed across the screen.

A grin creeped across her face. The title of the video was 6969, and with a name like Ninja Sex Party, she could only imagine how adolescent and stupid this was going to be. After making the video full-screen, she buckled herself in, ready for the ride.

“Somewhere, deep in the slow eternal dance of the heavens, drifts a planet called simply, ‘Earth.’ And, among the otherwise unremarkable population of this planet are two incredible heroes, destined to save the future from itself!”

Already, she was grinning with childish glee. What a cliché and self-serving concept, naming themselves heroes of earth and not even twenty seconds into the video. She noticed, then, that this song was ten minutes along. She almost clicked away at that, but she was already too invested.

It's strange to think how a simple click would change her life forever.

This was taking place in her bedroom. It was messy, the floor practically covered from view by discarded belongings. She was seated on her plushy bed, with her back pressed against the dull, gray wall. She was wearing shorts, which would have barely passed for boxers, and a spaghetti-strap top that left little to the imagination. It was a sweltering summer, the temperature well above 100 degrees out, and she was in her own house, so who cared about decency?

After the deep voice that had opened the video subsided, the tempo of the song picked up. It all happened so fast, that she couldn’t have been prepared, even if she had known what was about to happen.

“Hey! Ninja Brian!”

She heard the words, and saw who said them—a shaggy-headed, goggled man in a white labcoat who popped up from the bottom of the screen--but she also witnessed a ripple of reality that radiated outwards from the screen of the laptop, and it slowly bled into her surroundings.

She suddenly felt nauseated, and was so shocked by what was happening, that she slammed the laptop closed, as her head began spinning. It had taken barely a second for it all to happen.

The colors that appeared in her room made her feel like she was being throttled, assaulting her eyes to the point that it felt like she was going to go deaf. As if she had been suddenly transported into the middle of the loudest metal concert in the world. She squeezed her eyes shut and kept them shut tightly to the point that the muscles in her face cramped as she waited for the seasick feeling to subside, her hands covering her ears. Her legs were drawn up against her chest as she took deep, rapid breaths.

After a few moments, she moved her hands over her eyes, and opened them under her palms. Blackness, still. She hesitantly parted her palms in the middle, just slightly, to let a sliver of light into her vision. The outlines of her hands were hot, they were bright and the color was painful, but only for a few seconds. She kept her hands here, as her eyes adjusted to this new sensation, this concept of seeing colors. She was so preoccupied with this, that it hadn’t even occurred to her why she was seeing them at all. Her mind decided to file that away, and to worry about it later.

She pulled her hands further away from her face. The walls in her room were cold, and made her feel like she had just brushed her teeth. She didn’t know the names of these colors, but they gave her different sensations, and that was all she had to go on for the time being.

The laptop was still black, and it was jarring to look at. It had never occurred to her that black was a color itself. Her brain briefly thought that maybe the colors were glitching, and weren’t touching everything that they should have been. There were other things in the room that remained black, such as her leather jacket, and her sneakers.

Her heart was racing, but thankfully the sickness in her gut had subsided. She slowly inched off of the bed, and walked towards the bedroom door. The bathroom was just across the hall, and there was a mirror there.

She was going to look at herself for the first time.

She closed her eyes and made her way to the bathroom sink based only on muscle memory. She turned on the light and closed the door softly. Taking a deep breath and leaning on the counter for support, she finally opened her eyes. She saw for the first time why everyone had always praised her as she grew up.

When all she could see was black and white, she hated looking in the mirror. Seeing everything in monochrome made it so much easier to pick out the flaws. Her face, as well as the rest of her body, was chubby and round. Her upper lip protruded upwards like the snout of a pig, her front teeth always exposed. Her chin would disappear into the round of her neck when she turned her head in certain directions. For this, she often took to wearing scarves and bandanas to hide the parts she hated about herself.

But now she could see why she had been complimented her whole life. It wasn’t an act of obligatory kindness. There was so much beauty behind the glass. Despite the things that she still didn’t like about herself, seeing them in color made it easier to love.

The color of her lips wasn’t too dark or too faint. The dusting of freckles across her face were so much more interesting now that they had a color value to them. The striking, alarming color of her hair was shocking. It had always looked so dull before.

But even then, as she peered closer and closer into the mirror, her eyes looked the same as they always had. They remained grey. She recalled being told her whole life that they were blue, but they looked no different than they had before. Perhaps, this was what ‘blue’ looked like?

No… No, the sky was blue. Glancing out the window, she could tell what ‘blue’ was, and her eyes were definitely not blue. Perhaps it was just a mistake. Perhaps they had just been trying to be nice.

She stared long and hard into the mirror, soaking in the image of herself in full color. The walls surrounding her reminded her of the beach on the lake. Thinking of the lake reminded her of all the times that her mom and step-dad had taken her and her siblings out on the boat, how they would listen to the music their mom played over the speakers, which neither she or her sister liked all that much, but they would sing along anyway. That was just their way. Music made her sing, whether it was a good song or not, she had a tune in her heart and lyrics in her veins.

Music.

She had been listening to music when the colors happened.

She snapped her neck back toward the bathroom door so quickly that it actually popped, and she hissed through her teeth unwittingly, as her mind was now racing again, too distracted to even register the pain or sound her neck had made. She raced back to her room and threw herself onto the bed, placing her hands on the laptop.

She had seen her perfect partner. That’s why she was seeing colors now. How had she not thought about this earlier?

Was it the guy who had been singing? She couldn’t remember seeing anyone else on screen at the time. It had all happened so fast, she hadn’t had time to register it. She didn’t even remember what the guy looked like, now. However, she could still hear the words, and they played perfectly in her head, even after only hearing them once.

“Hey! Ninja Brian!”

The sound of the voice made her chest swell and tighten at the same time. It had to be him.

She had to psych herself up to open the laptop and look one more time, but she hesitated. She began to evaluate the situation.

She had heard stories from relatives about how they met their matches. They would be at a party, or a bar, or some other public place. They would be in the same vicinity as that person. Within touching distance.

She was looking at a YouTube video beyond a plastic screen, on a laptop, in her bedroom.

Her chest tightened moreso. What if this meant she was one-sided? That had to be it, right? Who on earth found their perfect match this way? YouTube celebrities had tons of fans, and she was well aware of people that would do anything in their power to snag Mark, for one. She admitted that she felt he was attractive, but he hadn’t made her see colors. Mark had addressed before that people contacted him, and approached him at conventions, claiming that he had made them see colors, but he just didn’t feel the same. Thankfully, all of that had stopped when he finally met his girlfriend, Amy, and he publicly announced that they had both seen colors together.

But what if this guy—her match--had gotten just as many offers? She couldn’t remember if he was cute or not, she hadn’t really had long enough to decide. But, even if he wasn’t, it didn’t matter, because he had brought color into her world. He was her match, and whether or not she was his was irrelevant. She was forever tied to him now.

Hot tears cascaded down her cheeks as she realized this. While seeing colors had never been a priority for her, she did like to imagine that it would be romantic when she did. That her perfect match would make eye contact with her, that they would run to each other and touch the other’s face, that it would be perfect and beautiful and they would look up at the sky together in awe.

That was never going to happen, now, it seemed.

She dabbed at the tears on her face, and breathed deeply. There was no use in crying about it. This was her destiny, apparently. Might as well embrace it.

She finally opened the laptop again. The video had automatically paused earlier, freeze framing on the face that had caused all of this.

Poofy-haired, with goggles atop his head, big brown eyes and a goofy smile, aimed slightly off-camera. She felt her heart thudding in her throat. It was undoubtedly him, because he was easily the most beautiful man she had ever seen in my life. Funny, because he wasn’t quite what she had expected her soulmate would look like. If she was being completely honest, she was expecting a female soulmate, but she wasn’t complaining. That’s what made it real, wasn’t it? That your perfect match was just that; perfect, with no complaints to be had.

She reached out and touched the screen, and a pang of pain resonated through her ribcage. She didn’t even know his name, she knew nothing about him.

She supposed she should finish watching the video.

She pressed play, and continued to watch, with her knees drawn up to her chest. She didn’t even bother with the fresh tears now rolling slowly down her cheeks.

There was an overwhelming use of the color blue. A deep, rich hue of blue that made her feel warm all throughout her body. She had always heard red be described as warm, but this was practically the opposite of red.

His voice was beautiful, it was energetic and made her want to move around, made her want to dance, even though at one point in her life she would have listed ‘dancing’ as the last thing she ever wanted to do. She didn’t even know his name and he had already turned her life on its head.

He was so bouncy, like gravity just didn’t have a grip on him. He moved elegantly through space and yet he was still awkward enough when he moved that it made her giggle and hiccup with little sobs. He was gangly and silly when he wasn’t dancing or bopping about, which was rare. It was as if he was an unrelenting source of cosmic energy that had to remain moving at all times, expelling contagious joy from the very ends of his extremities.

As the video neared its halfway point, the adventure had taken a turn, and the two heroes were seeking a girl that the hero would have to have sex with in order to save the world.

“Ninja Brian! Look at that girl, with the sad eyes and the beautiful blonde hair, I’m immediately in love!”

While it was a music video, and this was undoubtedly scripted, this turn of events struck her. What if he could already see colors? He knew what blonde hair looked like, out of all the muted colors of hair that existed in the world. He also seemed to know what his type was when it came to women. My heart sank into my stomach.

The girl in the video was elegant, thin, and pretty. She had big doe-eyes and pouty lips, with long blonde hair that cascaded over her shoulders and down her back like some breathtaking waterfall. Her waist was small enough that he could probably put both hands around her (but she realized he seemed to have abnormally large hands to begin with). The girl in the video was the polar opposite of her own body.

Soon, the video was over, and when the music had ended, she felt an emptiness grow in her chest. She immediately clicked to the next video, already seeking out his voice to fill the silent void. Apparently, the band had quite a long line of music videos and several albums already. All this time they had existed, all this time she could have seen colors before now, and yet it took her this long to finally find them.

When the next song played, she recognized the melody as belonging to a song that she had heard many times before. She knew they were not the original artist, meaning it was a cover. Take on Me, by A-ha. She leaned back against her bed and listened, with the laptop at her feet, at an angle where she could just make out the video. It wasn’t as theatrical as the last one had been, and not nearly as long, but there was still an overwhelming use of that same color as before.

She still didn’t know his name. She would probably have to look him up.

A Wikipedia article for a Leigh Daniel Avidan came up. As she read through it, she felt so strange. She felt like a stalker of some sort, but she knew that wasn’t true. However, the more she thought about it, the worse she felt.

This was her life now. This man had brought colors into her world in the most flamboyant manner, and he didn’t even know she existed. He may never know how he changed her life. How would she even tell him? What was she supposed to do?

She didn’t even know if she could tell anyone. What would people say? Would they tell her to try for it, to reach out and try to grasp at him, or to give up on it and remain one-sided for the rest of her life? The longer she read the article, the harder it was for her to imagine living her life one-sided. But, the rational side of her mind knew that it was impossible that she could ever even speak to him.

She closed her laptop, then, and laid in her bed, feeling nothing and everything all at the same time, feeling numb, as if in an emotional limbo. She laid like that for the rest of the day. It had been the day her life changed forever.

Over time, she decided that there was no point in beating herself up over things she couldn’t help. She decided that her life was forever tied to this man, to Danny, and while he may never know that, there was no reason to limit her own exposure to him. She began watching the Game Grumps, which was how Mark knew them to begin with. They were a funny channel, and she adored watching Dan and his gaming partner Arin play games. They were particularly known for their fits of rage, and she came to adore the sound of Dan’s laugh, despite the legions of people who found it grating. There was no sweeter sound to her than the sound of his voice.

She bought all of NSP’s CDs. She loved the songs that they were featured in on other artist’s albums, and even bought some of them, too. On bad days, she popped in an NSP CD and it made all of her problems go away.

The albums always started with a half-minute long introduction, with Dan speaking directly to the listener. These were her favorites, despite the fact they weren’t songs and were often cringe-worthy for their vulgarity. But, it was the closest she thought she would ever get to hearing him speak directly to her.

She learned as much as she could about him, from all that he ever talked about on the show. He spent a period of time living in France, he used to smoke pot but he quit when he realized how sad it made his mom. He owned a dog named Princess Tinkles. Small, unimportant bits of information, but they meant everything to her. It really helped hammer home that he was a real, living and breathing person.

Her life went on like this for two years, until one fateful afternoon. After a particularly long day of autumn college courses, she tuned into the show as she always did. Today’s episode didn’t start with its usual intro, instead starting with Danny, addressing the audience alone. The Game Grumps rarely got on camera, unlike Mark who was on camera in every episode, so it was always a treat to see Danny’s face.

“Hey lovelies.”

He said this, and he was wearing that same smile he always did, the one that made her chest swell and tighten at the same time, made her heart flutter like a bird. He was wearing his Danny Sexbang costume, his super hero alter-ego from Ninja Sex Party. There was always a distinct difference in personality between the two. Dan Avidan was a goofy, kind-hearted and free-flowing guy, whereas Danny Sexbang was overly charismatic to the point of obnoxiousness, and so incredibly and overtly sexual that any sane person would regard him as a pervert. She adored him anyways, whether he was in-costume or not.

“I’m just taking a second to inform you guys that me, Arin, Brian—“ when Dan mentioned his masked friend, the ninja in question appeared in the background, flipping the bird to the camera, silently and undetected by Dan, “—and Tupperware Remix Party—“ another band that Dan and Brian worked frequently with to do tours and more complicated music, “—are going on tour! These are the locations and dates—“ as Dan spoke, he gestured to the side, and a list of locations and dates began to scan across the screen.

“Tickets for all of the events are going on sale this Sunday, and they’re gonna go fast, so make sure you snag them quickly, or Brian here is going to stab a puppy.”

She started the video over immediately, and paid closer attention to the list of dates and locations. Her heart stopped momentarily when she saw that Dallas, Texas, was listed for a show two months from now.

A live Ninja Sex Party-Starbomb-Tupperware Remix Party concert. She never thought she would have this chance. The Game Grumps did live shows, and Ninja Sex Party had done tours before, but the closest they came was Austin or Houston, and it was always poorly timed and she just couldn’t make it. But now that they were doing a show in Dallas, it was guaranteed that she could go.

She tried not to get her hopes up, but was kidding herself if she believed that she was only going as a fan, and not hoping against hope that she would get the chance to speak to Dan. Her soulmate.

The following Sunday, she bought her ticket. She had woken up at 7:30 that morning and waited with baited breath as the clock ticked closer and closer to 8am, when the tickets would go on sale. As hard as she tried, she wasn't able to snag a front-row seat. She was a little surprised; he really hadn't been kidding when he said they would go fast.

It was still August, so she had a while to wait. Part of her ached, because the wait was so long, but another part of her felt like she didn't have long enough to prepare. She felt many confusing emotions about the event.

But all she could do for now was wait.

#trubbull post #trubbull fics #game grumps fanfiction #this is mindlessly self-indulgent #ba-dum-tss #i caved in and published it hope y'all enjoy it #working on the next chapter as i publish this

2 notes · View notes