#im just very emotional at ljh.

[fightclub1996]

ok thoughts about Lee Jihye and the absence of Kim Namwoon

It's smth that never really factors in the novel, which makes sense considering they have way bigger things going on and LJH is often used as a comic relief character. But something that I think about often is how isolated LJH must've felt in kimcom. Younger than the adults and dismissed by them as a child, but older than the kids and not being able to really openly talk with them. And of course she had meaningfull relationships with kimcom, she had her captain and the older women to look up to, and she was often goofing around with the children. But still when you're a teenage girl it is very important to have someone your age to confide in. And I just think about the juxtapostition of her mostly doing childish stuff with the kids and then often sneaking alcohol on her own. And with the terrible way she lost her best friend, LJHs lack of peers her age, lack of people she can confide in about just the ordinary problems of being a teenager, must have really impacted her developmentally and affected her social abillities and emotional maturity on a very real level.

And the thing is. Lee Jihye was supposed to have that. She was supposed to have Kim Namwoon as her peer to bicker with and confide in and sneak alcohol with. And the crazy thing is she doesn't even know! She doesn't even know she had someone, that the her in every other timeline managed to have close bonds with someone her equal, even after what she had done, even with everything going on. She had someone and she doesn't even know it was robbed of her.

#orv #lee jihye #ljh #idk if that makes sense #im just very emotional at ljh. #inspired by the post I just rbd abt knw and yjh and I almost dropped all of this in the tags ssdfhshj #.txt #orv lb #<- i mean sure I did have these thoughts first while rereading lol #orv spoilers #ALMOST FORGOT

[tossawary]

idk if im just confused but what's lqg's and ljh's relationship status? r they still dancing around each other? taking it /very/ slow? have they come to a mutual understanding? have they had a few smooches yet?

They’re together, they have a mutual understanding, but they’re just... taking it slow. I purposefully left it pretty vague because SQH is the POV character and he’s respectfully staying out of it (but LQG has definitely spent the night at the Luo House before; get it, LJH). 

And because I want to explore some things about violently described sex/possessiveness/drama as romance vs. having a supportive partner in your life who treats you well. “I can’t live without you” vs. “I want to spend my life with you”. Roller-coaster ups and downs vs. everyday friendship. Great feats of heroism that will form a legendary legacy vs. the impact of an ordinary life well-lived with friends and family. In my self-indulgent SVSSS fanfiction, everyone CALMS THE FUCK DOWN A LITTLE BIT, maybe?! 

I mean, don’t get me wrong! I have a weakness for trash romance novels and trash romance novel tropes (Shen Yuan, bro, I get you), but most of those relationships sound exhausting (and, uh, toxic if not abusive, sometimes). They’re fun fantastical escapism, but sometimes I put the book down like, “Holy shit, you two are going to live the rest of your lives like this???” 

Chapter 18 was all about Shang Qinghua’s relationships in general, especially with Luo Binghe and his other kids disciples. General time skip catch-up! 

Chapter 19 is going to be about Liu Qingge/Luo Jiahui, Shang Qinghua & Luo Jiahui, (Shang Qinghua/Mobei-Jun in a sort of negative space kind of way, using LQG and LJH as a lens,) the Liu and Luo-Shang families, Shang Qinghua & OG Shen Qingqiu, and OG Shen Qingqiu &/ Yue Qingyuan. 

Working title of Chapter 19 is “Weddings and Funerals”. I’ve got a 2.5k outline that’s bare bones but very promising already, but I don’t know if it’ll be up next week yet because the whole chapter is... very emotional. Like, it’s going to feel a little bit like shit, but in positive way, hopefully. 

#ask tossawary #tossawary svsss #pride is not the word #tossawary updates