#if ur not going to fucking merge before the lane ends then ur not merging at all asshole

[pisces-gf]

driving got me feeling a Certain Way .

#i feel like im going insane like . #the number of ppl that just straight up have their whole ass phone right in front of their face is INSANE #like u know ur going to get someone killed right ?? RIGHT ????? #best case they’re causing unnecessary traffic which is also fucking infuriating like U CAN FUCKING WAIT TO SEND A TEXT. U CAN WAIT. #& it seems like running stop signs & red lights is becoming more regular like . #like . u know that’s gonna get YOU killed one day right???? ur gonna run a fucking stop & another idiot is also gonna run that same stop #& ur both hopefully going to die so therere less of you out here driving like fucjing assholes #i don’t fucking get it but ig there’s nothing to get bc they’re probably the stupidest pieces of shit ever & will never think they’re #in the wrong . #@everyone who does any or all of the above pls kill urself immediately i am so serious #while we’re on the topic they should put a brick wall at the end of lanes thatre about to end #if ur not going to fucking merge before the lane ends then ur not merging at all asshole #it’s ur responsibility to find a spot to merge in #it is not my job to make sure that the lil baby drivers have space to merge in a mile AFTER the fucking lane ends #don’t let me catch u out in the streets being a bitch bc i’m at my wits end .

[mwebber]

im p confused rn lol, feel free to ignore this ofc but questions are meant genuinely.

is it the domination that you have a problem with? the lack of fight at front?

or is it more simply you want seb to keep his record(s)?

or just with verstappen winning?

i understand the first 2 and hear the 3rd a lot but just ur prev posts came a lil outta left field for me lol. i'd like to hear your thoughts, with peace and love on planet earth <3

pourquoi pas les trois... actually i think it might boil down to two main things: my frustration at the continued erasure and diminishing of seb's achievements, and my pet peeve of Total Fucking Bullshit.

it's no secret that this sport has a problem with dominating teams. and yes, you could argue that's the point--hello, it's a constructor's championship, the point is to have the best car. and red bull have built beasts the last couple of years! seriously, all my respect to the team as a whole for pulling everything together. i was and remain a red bull fan at heart despite it all, and it makes me happy from an objective standpoint to see so many elements of a team come together in harmony. red bull is a well-oiled machine at work.

but i genuinely don't think there's been this level of domination by a singular driver in a singular team since like, 2013. think: if lewis' era of domination was so much "worse" than this as the dudebros like to say, why hasn't lewis come close to beating 9 wins in a row? the main phenomenon at play is the sport's short term memory--but really, the way fans like to completely forget 2015-2018 and arguably 2019 too really frustrates me. it wasn't like 2014 hit and suddenly lewis was winning everything. nico won the 2016 wdc. seb posed a real fucking threat in 2015, and in 2017-18 the messaging from the sport was that the battle between him and lewis was, quote unquote, titanic. a battle between, quote unquote, titans of the sport. fast forward to 2020/21 and the narrative is that nothing has stood in lewis' way for the last 6 or 7 years, and that his era of domination needs to be ended for ~the good of the sport.~

so seb makes a couple mistakes, fine, but mostly gets visibly cucked by his team for years, and suddenly he's nothing. his four championships mean nothing, his 3rd most wins in the history of f1 mean nothing, he's just ferrari's next failure.

but then the narrative around max. max, who's introduced in 2021 like he's an up and coming driver intent on toppling lewis' throne. it's a great narrative, right? mercedes took red bull's ball. red bull want it back. casually ignoring how max has been in the sport since 2016, max is red bull's new young golden boy, the one who's going to lead them to victory as the youngest driver like seb already did before and wow, wait, sorry for mentioning seb in relation to success there, let's keep on reinforcing that he's an old man who needs to retire. anyway, max is someone who doesn't give a flying fuck about anyone or anything except racing! max is a beast on track! max is [checks notes] our great white hope!

let's put the racism discussion on hold, because i think people try really hard to pin him down as this like, absolutely sociopathic bigot who is the most racist person in the world, and while he's not NOT racist, i don't think the extreme conclusion ppl are reaching is true. plus this rhetoric is mostly smoke and mirrors to try and find a leftist/social justice reason to hate on him anyway. so let's get fucking real: i dislike max for the same reasons i dislike taylor sw*ft. i hate that there's this blatant marketing campaign that fans buy into and perpetuate, that these people are the greatest of their generation, that they're masters of their craft. like, what? max's racecraft is just threatening to crash people out or push them off the track, something multiple drivers have been quoted saying. that's not ruthless, that's just bad fucking driving. that's an asshole on the dvp suddenly merging into your lane without using their blinkers or checking their blindspots and forcing you to pull out your defensive driving skills from that one class in drivers ed just to avoid a massive pileup on the highway. and i'm expected to suck this guy's dick?

max wins a fraudulent championship in 2021 and proceeds, for the next two years, to basically cruise at the front. it's like the second half of 2013, except it's lasting for a YEAR AND A HALF. only this time, instead of the sport trying to diminish this stint by saying it's just the car or that the golden boy has put himself above the team, people are......... celebrating? listen, i enjoy a singapore 2013 moment as much as the next seb fan but come on. get real. if every race was singapore 2013 that would be boring. and that's what we're seeing, but that's not what fom wants us to think we're seeing. it's complete bullshit.

which leads me to my posts. oh my god, i hated the comparisons between max and seb's first championships. the circumstances could not be more different--it was fucking insulting. seb won his championship fair and square, no rulebook bending required. seb's most violent moment on track that year was in turkey with mark--but he didn't park his car on top of mark's head and walk out saying that's what you get. how could people say that seb was anything like max.

seb's 9 wins at the end of 2013 were the culmination of five years spent fighting tooth and nail for his success. even for how dominant he was in 2011, there were still other teams up there! he had to fight his own teammate for so many years! and even with displays like singapore 2013, there were races where he was fighting in the second half of the season! and now we see this current streak of wins from the last two years where everyone else has tumbled behind and perez is contractually obligated to be a doormat. (not to say that teams haven't tried--i had so much hope at the start of 2022 when ferrari showed up with that pussy monster.) so look me in the eyes and say that max has fought with everything in him just to get that #1 spot. the two of them are leagues apart, but people--the same ones who have said seb is washed--are inevitably going to say that max has beaten seb, that max is on par with the third most successful driver in the sport. it's like a slap to the face.

and so we end back with the constant retconning of seb's position in f1 history. it drives me insane. he's nothing when it comes to propping max up, and then he's the benchmark to prop max up. he's a titan of the sport, and then he's just a failure. come on. come on. i'm just tired of my favourite driver never being given the credit he deserves, and i'm tired of having this fictional story shoved down my throat that max is anything like the goats in the sport. tl;dr. get real.

#inbox

[screechingtrashcalzonewombat]

"Apopalictic Astral Asending" Reavaluate disassociate my self worth...

The galaxies have birthed an uncontrollable being ....

I've feel as tho Ive seen myself split in two ..

Witch side do u wanna see if ur lucky I'll let you choose .

Cause in the end I loose..

One of hate one of love could both be from up above..

Or down below ...

I've began to show signs of delusions as half my mind goes an tells me it's only mild confusion. As my body fights my brain an heart to escape theys terrible illusions.

Yet the other half tries to start a fusion of body an mind an all the suddently my thoughts are no longer mine..

But a evil so Divine that its wound it's way threw time itself I've fealt the damage the energy dealt. I've yelped in anquish an pain been stuck for 7 long years in the rain with nothing to gain .. I can barely fathom to explain im not fully on earth I'm on another astral plane but i fear i flew out of my lane I've gone insane never wanted fame Ever fealt like bat man I mean oops Bruce Wayne. Nah fuck hes spoiled a wet rat infact I'm more like hulk duck when I'm near i wearly see I'm drowning inside my mind but no one can hear my dear I fear I've lost control again but cant compute I've been booted out of the system I've clawed hit an kicked to try to get to the top but i outta of known I've been ripped an thrown from my throne ive been shown what this beast can do but who woulda thought a demon bought my soul ..a jackal a goul.....you'll see me shift into numbness I suposse it was my own dumbness for being to open now cause of me my body an mind are broken an stole. as I weep an shutter an i try to speak but only stutter I found myself weak in defeat ....as ik this demon reaching its peak will plunder an pillage the town I've found I'm bound to this beast nowhere to run not north south or east I can run it will feast on my soul until the end of time ..

For diamonds cannot compare to the rarity of a soul nor a bowl of Ruby's an jems rolled in gold .....

A bold statement you say........

.. theres no ray of light here they stole it away buried it in your mind but how can u define being locked trapped in yourself ...

You've dealt your own fate ...

Wanting ansers u dint deserve ..

Did you like your just dessert's...no?

Dose it hurt ..... After you itll kill children's childhood freinds like bernie & eart ....whent bizzirk an bashed there brains makeing bloody rains

curking on everyone with cutlery forks an knifes* slice *cook big bird with chives after I've shanked him 900 times... 100 more woulda been devine serve him drink to dry alone cooked an ripped him to the bone but not quite alone u may not be home inside but u can still watch...I thought I taught u better than to close ur eyes dont beg or look surprised look away an I'll adopt another stray to do the same a slow sweet death cure's my hunger anyway

.the wines innocents blood bitter sweet to the taste of the tounge

no one thought it capable I seemed...looked ...so young..

They dint know it had just begun it wasn't me but the evil half committing crime with glee an fleeing repetavidly revealingly images to my mind of times & crimes so sickening I thought I'd die forever scetched seered into my mind .binded with no power as one towers over you using your power you cowar for how dose one define the disasbalment of there an every defined mind while ur inner demon dines on flesh making a mess of your vessel you cant even wrestle your way to the light to stay only break down in defeat that your so far away you've became an internal mess cant even stand on ur feet the beast has u chained in defeat u cry an apologize looking for answers as of how to stop.....an then...you hear a voice .." you outta stayed silent instead of talk back. U shouldn't of complained do u still think ur life used to be pain...... . Ur a sack of shit ur wit is less than that of an ant not to rant but I'm not done yet I have ur soul now I'm never letting go no no no I have plenty more so much to show many souls to reap an emotions to subdue after all u said yes.....

...did you forget ur the one who started this.

mess ......you dressed your mind with fantasy an fiction word to the wise never mess with other worldly friction an your itching for a way out but I doubt ull get there before the end of time .after all you had a devil an an angel on ur shoulder an you chose wrong this time. Only took 666 times but I'm patient an always waiting for 6 years hating an burning flesh waiting for a prayer a call after all Lucifer was once an angel an the most beautiful you just dint get to see from what angle he had beauty wrath an determination but u humans resulted in his isolation incarsorason. So now we will end up being humanity's enialation when were done there entire selves with evaporate for the demons have released self hate to pro create creatures in confidence we annihilate the fate of the human race at least the trace slight like us able to bust threw dementions so weve mentioned a start to find the inordinary soul an heart ......humanity was doomed from the start.. you stole our purpose our reason to be......humans sit in sin an glee.

Your humanitys Pride is overbearing never genuinely caring ..

Greed is sweeping the nation its reached ever state an it's got a hot heaping plate of corruption for mankind's consumption greed is grotesque in its steps of the darkest quest to corupt ur mind an want. .want..want until that's all you are is wanting more

Lusting over losely draped garments you've tarnished ur soul .

Envy of what you do not posses but for all you know that information an life would make you a mess but ud still test ur envious tendencies.....

Glutton glutton what have you gained it's not knowledge no for it's to plain rather glutton uve found a urge that wont go away....

Wrath an vengeance blood draw too no one stops till some dies him or you....

Sloth last but not least cant forget you cause uuuh wait what that fuck do u do....you sleep an sulk sit slither out of simple tasks an that's why ur not 1st no ur last like humanity just ask ....

So soon the day will draw near the the number 4 is what you should fear our dear old freinds were sending up for a visit so they can reddit ur fate for each a horse an a trait the first out the door with bow in hand riding a white horse with bow in hand

..

Conquest the start of the final test leading the restthere dark version of light on a white stallion he leads the way an soon will follow hades anyway.

War was next on a red steed he rode prepared to purge an quench new blood for the wars an battels would just begin brother against brother an close of kin witch to win?

Famine foe of all on a black horse with the courses hair so fair merely bone but dont let his appearance fool you hes for he is full devouring your greed taking away everything you want or need an now ur rationed to nearly starvation stretching farther than destination world wide sensation...

Pleage reaper of souls slowly apears steadly trotting riding a very sickly steed looking pale an almost gruesome green with sores an sickness best keep a distance. For he shall be the bringer of death an reap you all one by one to the four you shall fall...

Will you be spared are you true....

Are you happy with your life what did you do...?

Rapture no you still must die.....

Say good by to this earthy chapter theres so much more that manifest after.

But only your earthly husk must rust an fall your all energy of grate mass....

It's time to take the task of self evolvment an enjoy an enlightened installment

this world was just step wrench ur third eye wide open an accept the token of eternal life.

Grinded it to atoms a flash of dust all together ur a self fulfilling must memory pass u in a rush.....

. sudently ur bodysuit is gone ....

But it dint felt like it quite belonged.

You were 7 grams of light matter to be exact an sudently you've cracked the atmosphere ..steering energetic waves my metal psyche caves to the new information flying threw stars consolations.

Suddently speeding at the sound of light the stratosphere seems to disapear ..

My fear is gonewithout a trace an freedom transferred in its place

but am waved in infatuation to find out about out true destination...

Restoration of the soul the goal of a higher self being achieved as I crash into the sun 1500°

I feel a warmth like no other each being hues of light I might of missed earth if not I heard a voice but a mental push no need for speech just thinking it shall be done said by the the brightest in the sun.

Rejoice at last but ur journeys yet to pass ..

This is merely were you start ....

Our flames grew high with frantic waves not wanting to give up the new life we were just gave

Suddenly our flames grew dim as we felt a swirling deep from withn sudently the surface of the sun turned to tin an bent in a cracked an caved with itself our time an space sending us ascending in alignment the same assignment.

Because the sun has begun to change ina twisted way a black hole some could say.

As all of our astral beings were ripped an tore apart at the seams we all merged an formed one all knowing creative being an sudently everything I've know has little matter I'm past a point of human chatter i understand infinity the holy trinity I down in the milky way an experienced every life I've relived it twice I've spliced my genetics into over 2000 million beings I've seen good an bad in between experienced every tragedy to build my strength an studyd every thesis an theory thread an chain nearly drove my vessel insane even took knifes threw my veins in anger yet it failed I was just a trailer.ive seen love hate an anger

Comprehension compasing many others I have love an understanding past many beings there anger seems to brush by me cause I'm with 2000 souls an minds that have formed one to reach a state I can medidate in the milky way an force your negative away .

Our astral self has accumulated complete power an understanding by costuming to our full potential our old body's merely a rental.

Gentle at first then bursted into power showered in knowledge I know now much that I wondered before but now I want more an I've thought till I an 2000 shared beings head hurt cause my girth of knowledge will now never be enough it's tough cause now I must find .... how to ascend again but for now i must defend my vast mind defind crime ...?

Keeping 2000 vast voices locked away so I can focus an try to learn anyway leaning in to vast places is I the 1st 2nd or 3rd or other many plains I cant quiet place I'm traveling threw them all searching for everything I couldn't before .

This life isent like the countless other this life I like it has interesting teathers

I've surpass Angel's an there feathers an vison of a hawk.

I've surpass demonds and there demonic temping talk ..

I've walked on water as I was ripped apart an I felt my self rebuilt every cell of my being got hit with rods of power lightning not even myself can fight me god like abilities the universe as built in me theres ben a spiritual shift a tilt in me somthing generations of DNA sprawled out in a numerical display my old life experiences is the price I pay so that I can be god even if only for a day

I think I'll sit an think somewere in the outter spink of the universe I've cursed myself with knowledge an now I'm aware step into my astral space....

If you dare...

[ios-tintipan]

The final three took a trip through memory lane for the Rites of Passage. This is what they had to say!

JILL

Bodhi: our stars didn’t align so we never got to chit chat!

Eric: you messaged me about Beyoncé once and that’s all I got, sorry I didn’t try harder to be friends!! Austin: again, sorry we didn’t get to get close! Someday!! Cole: ugh, cole. We worked together at the start, got messy in the middle, and ultimately you had way better game play than I did so I saw you as a threat. You added so much to this game though, and I think it would’ve been boring without you. I love u and I hope u add me back…. Kaitlyn: we never got a chance to talk! I was definitely threatened by you! You and Cole were a power duo. JD: where can I even start. So happy to be aligned with you, honestly. You should’ve stayed over me, but you had so much better game play so I assumed people came for you that way. I loved loved loved being able to trust you completely. I really hope we can play together again. Lauren: when I think of you I think of that cool nail polish color you had and how fucked good you are at puzzles. I wish the circumstances were different and me you and Nayeli got to work together longer. I hope that we play another game together tbh. Tate: sorry I didn’t listen to you when I should’ve and I was lowkey hoping you would’ve got that last immunity to stay. But you did vote me at the end. Either way, happy that you made it really far by not doing a whole lot, but stepped up a little more when it mattered. Also, thanks for gassing me up bb Nayeli: to be honest, I really loved working with you. I was so sad when you went home, I wanted us to get far together. I still feel sad that you were voted out ughhh Nick: remember that time we did that challenge that u had to take pics of urself with items? You dominated that game. We only worked together for a short time, but it was a fun short time! Brett: thanks for listening to my whopper podcast. Also, really enjoyed working with you when it got down to it. I didn’t make the best moves by listening to you but I still tried to be loyal to you. I can tell you cared about this game, and I’m happy we could play it together! Keegan: you and brett were both very strong in this game, so thankful for having someone to talk to even not about game. You’re strong at comps and I really loved chatting with ya. LA: super sad when you went home. I loved working with you from the start, and my regret is that we didn’t work without the boys often. I am very thankful for having you on my side though, because it helped be know I could trust JD. Rhone: utterly robbed. Fuck the rocks. So so so sad we didn’t get to work together. I knew I could trust you if we ever got the chance. Next time I hope!!! Dan: the love of my life. My partner. My buddy. I cried when u got out. U were robbed. I probably should’ve swapped with you but if I ever win a game itll be because of you <3 I love u!!!!!!!!!!!

OWEN

Austin - Rip Austin I'm sorry that you didn't talk all that much... It's lowkey iconic that you just voted Cole bc it's the only name you could remember tho haha hope you're doing well if you ever see this!

Bodhi - I was looking forward to getting another chance to play together after Circle of Happiness but I guess it didn't work out this time :( Sorry!

Nayeli - GIRL UR WILD I love it. Adding us to an alliance randomly and then turning on us hahaha. If you hadn't have been voting me, I wouldn't have been voting you, and then maybe we could've avoided some of the drama that came afterwards with rocks.. It was good to get to talk a bit queen.

Rhone - WOW I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BUT HOW FUCKING ICONIC IS IT THAT U KEPT UP THE TRADITION OF A ROCK DRAW IN UR OWN DAMN GAME. Even though we only got to actually play together for one round, I'm glad we ended up applying as partners :) Way to keep the series exciting hahaha. Imagine how different things would've been if you didn't draw the rock whew

Dan - I wasn't sure if this would be a game where we tried to work together or not, but once I met your partner I knew that I wanted to be allies with you down the road. Every time you survived RI I was happy because most of the time I'd voted the other people on it out. I wish we could've gotten a chance!

Eric - I still don't know why you voted for me at that first tribal sajkdhfksjd but good job on Redemption Island I'm sorry your pogo stick legs (according to Brett) got the better of you bc you really were the king of that island. Also I just realized Rhone, Dan, and you were eliminated back to back and you three are the partners of the f3 isn't that weird wow

Lauren - Oh my GOD I will never forget when you asked me what my fav emoji was and then you said "mine's the snake, have fun on redemption island" I literally screamed when I saw that. I really think if the whole drama with Tate in HOS17 hadn't have happened and you didn't quit that challenge you'd have made it further in the game. I enjoyed having you as an enemy for a bit though, it was fun :) And thanks for the shout out when u left! hehe

LA - I'm sorry they did you dirty like that :( Coming into the merge was weird bc I was trying to balance all of these allies and you were someone who I had been working with from the start and really wanted to go far with. Unfortunately the JD/Nick/Kaitlyn drama was beyond my control. You're one of the only people I've ever gone to rocks for (maybe the only one?) so I'm glad we finally got to meet and play a bit <3 We were the legends of getting votes prejury haha

Kaitlyn - THIS WAS LEGITIMATELY THE WORST POSSIBLE THING THAT COULD'VE HAPPENED. That's what, two games in a row now that you got ROBBED before my eyes? Your blindside was definitely the lowest moment of the season for me and I know after what I did to Cole u prob think I'm a rat now again (understandable) but I really did like representing the League with yall and I'm sorry you got put onto the worst tribe in Island of Shade history after being on exile.

Keegan - Hehehe you were probably the person I was most excited to get to play with once I saw the cast. I know we had our ups and downs; I wish we could've been cast in a season with all newbies because you and I could've had a chance that way. Unfortunately our other loyalties got in the way I guess but it was fun while it lasted and I love you!!

Nick - I was so scared of you at the beginning of the game because I knew how well you did in Circle of Happiness and I saw how you were going so fast in the 24 hour challenges. I'm not sure how you actually felt about me within the game this time haha, but maybe it was my fault that we never got to be super close allies. Maybe we'll be able to actually trust each other if we get to play again. Either way, it was fun!

Brett - Wowowowowowwowowow KING. Talking to you in this game was so interesting because I know you're an intelligent and socially adept player and I knew you had your claws in a lot of different people (the alliance with cole/kaitlyn and then later working with jd/jill). I knew I shouldn't trust you, but something made me just want to tell you....everything. Eventually I learned that I couldn't be honest with you at all, but it was fun getting to be on opposite sides for a bit and you definitely made this game a challenge for me. Sorry that your plans to get me out never worked <3 <3

JD - Wowowowow we had a crazy journey from the beginning to the tribal you left. After more or less lying to each other and putting trust in other people back and forth, I'm grateful that you were the person I was able to talk to after the Battleship competition because I think if you hadn't, I wouldn't have been able to get my game back on track. You've come a long way since Emathia and I think this game just proved that you're an excellent player. Thank you for having my back in the end <3

Cole - I know that you are hurt by what I did and I know that you might not even want to hear any more of what I have to say. In the few years that I've been around here, I have tried to focus less on personal aspects of the game and more on the game itself. Recently though, you know that I've been trying to turn that around. Personally in and out of this game, you and I were/are friends. Playing with you as a friend was a lot of fun, getting to laugh with each other about how things were going our way and complaining when they didn't. As a friend, I wanted to go to the end with each other because I know you would have deserved it. But within the game itself, a lot of things that happened between us within our alliance rubbed me the wrong way, and I ultimately made a decision to follow through with the game rather than my personal feelings. I am sorry if you are upset with me. My intention was not to cut off a friendship because I have appreciated getting to know you more through Circle of Happiness and through this game especially. You were one of the strongest forces in this game and you should be proud of the things you accomplished.

Tate - Another one of my rivals in this game! From me trying to get you out in the rocks round to you trying to get me out when JD left and everything in between, it was kind of a poetic finish that it came down to mostly you vs. me in the final immunity. I know you said a few times that you didn't care about this game or that you weren't playing, but I think you did more and tried harder than you let on, and i appreciate you being aware and honest in the end. What you said to me pushed me to work hard for that final immunity. Thank you for keeping it cool and having fun up until the end.

DANIELLE

Austin - I don't think that we were ever on a tribe together but you're an icon. Bodhi - Ok honestly I like you a lot, you were one of the people that I got to know the most in this game. Although we weren't the closest, things just didn't align for us :/ Nayeli - We didn't talk at all in this game and I don't know if that's because we weren't on the same tribe or what not but ily. Rhone - MY FUCKING FKJDANS; I was so sad to see you get rocked out. It wasa no secret that I was the closest to you on the tribe. You were someone that had my back 24/7 and I was so fucking sad to see you leave. You are an icon and I hope we get to talk more in the future, ily. Dan - Dan, my boy. we didn't talk but you are iconic Eric - Well you are my partner. But... you REALLY fucked up. I was so fucking dead when you got out first but you made it pretty far, too bad you're shaped like a rhombus and couldn't even balance. You're a gem and I love you <3 Lauren - So I'm so fucking sad that you were voted out here. We were just in 2 games together and we were kinda working together but it got kinda fucked up and :( you're a really cool person and I enjoyed getting to talk to you. LA - fkdns. hey! I don't think that we had ever really had a good conversation and it kind of ended up that you left, unfortunately. Kaitlyn - My... mother. I'm so fucking sad that you left. Legit, you were someone that I wanted to go to the end with. You and Cole introduced me to The Office and idk who I would be without that. You were robbed in more than one way and I can only say that I miss you so much. Come back home from war soon. Keegan - sis... you were a joy to talk to in this game. your pomsky is the cutest fucking thing in the world. I wish that we talked more about the game but you're so iconic. <3 Nick - NICKKKK. you were someone that I felt super close to all game. We were on many tribes together. during the early stages of the game, I felt like you were my number 1 but as we moved later in the game, things just didn't line up. you were a great ally though <3 Brett- brett, brettttt. so. you had a lot of things to say to me on your way out and I cant wait to hear what you'll say to me at FTC. I had no problems with you in this game or even in TS so to hear you say shit about me was surprising but I get it. we talked a lot about personal things but game wise, we were always going to be on opposite sides. I really enjoyed talking to you and hope that after all of this, we could be friends. JD - hiiii. ok well honestly, we didn't get to talk a lot so I never really got to know you a lot. the only real thing that I heard about you was that you really wanted me out so I was like !!! our games didn't align but hopefully we get to know each other better in tumblr survivor Cole - my... dad. I don't even know what I can say about you. day 1, we were together. from the many games that we have played together, we have always been tight. aries sisters stay together through it all. I really thought that you would have been sitting here with me but there was a snake in the grass. we didn't go on many calls in this game but just know that you are one of the people that I enjoy the most on tumblr. you are genuinely the funniest and most problematic person ever. Tate - my social queen. we haven't had a pm in almost 20 days! not saying it's your fault or mine but probs mine. I really don't have much that I can say about you because I don't know you much.

[theworstbob]

yellin’ at songs: 4.28.2007 & 4.29.2017

the songs that debuted on the billboard chart this week and ten years ago this week.

4.28.2007

67) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," Fall Out Boy

The song has everything that's missing from "This Ain't a Scene." It's about something that is a thing, it's coherently put together, it has maybe the best chorus Fall Out Boy ever wrote (don't hold me to that), it's actually clever and not just trying hard to be clever (though it is trying very, very hard), and it has that breakdown, that "I only think in the form of crunching numbers" over the acoustic guitar that gets me every single time. This is the song that put me on the path to liking Fall Out Boy again after a couple of disappointing years. It’s what helped me accept that the adorable young boys of Take This to Your Grave were gone, but the confident snarklords had much to offer.

74) "Summer Love," Justin Timberlake

"Ridin' in the drop top/With the top down/Saw you switchin' lanes girl." "So chillin' in the front seat/In the back seat/I'm drivin', cruisin'/Fast lane, switchin' lanes." Which horrible line about switching lanes is from this 2007 hit, and which is from Rebecca Black's "Friday," the song everyone hated? What does switchin' lanes even mean in this context? No I'm not going to pay attention to the rest of this song, the rest of it probably sucks also as well, I wanna harp on this first line. Like how do you know a girl is sexy from the way she merges on the highway? Or are you in the club? If you're in the club, how on earth are you in a drop top with the top down, like what would that be a metaphor for? I can see how switchin' lanes would be the girl flirting with all sorts of boys, but what on earth is your drop top. Are you shirtless? Are you wearing an open leather jacket? I don't, ugh, all of your songs are bad, literally your entire catalogue infuriates me.

75) "The Story," Brandi Carlile

is there a better moment in music than when this song plugs in. that's a serious question. how many moments in other songs are better than "i climbed across the mountain tops/SWAM ALL ACROSS THE OCEAN BLUE." Like that was such a miracle the first time I heard it, it sounds like this sort of pretty song I might usually skip but stuck with for some reason, and then it goes absolutely insane, like first those drums come in and it's like, "Oh, this is more plugged in than I anticipated!" AND THEN WE'RE ON A ROCKET INTO THE FUCKING SUN. This is the only alt-country song that turns all the way up, and it has never stopped being a miracle.

84) "Earth Intruders," Bjork

/smiles politely /sorts gently into the 'not for me' pile there, there, dear sweet. you and i both know your home is not with me.

86) "Que Hiceste," Jennifer Lopez

Yo! So, the Jennifer Lopez Spanish-language track was dope as hell, which I didn't see coming. A thread through 2017 has been how dope the Latin pop songs are, and this is everything I want, something over-dramatic that I don't 100% understand but is funky enough to get into. It kind of tracks why it took me this long to hear it, I think the public was over J.Lo in 2007 and probably treated her Spanish-language album like a joke, but y'know what, I was wrong to not take her seriously, and my world is better with this song in it. Hey. Hey, everyone. It’s me, the man with music opinions, saying he likes a J.Lo song more than a Bjork song. Please give my opinions credence.

91) "Umbrella," Rihanna ft./Jay-Z

This is a towering achievement worthy of the onslaught of thinkpieces about its lasting impact sure to pop up on your favorite culture websites over the next couple of weeks. This is also the worst Jay-Z verse. At least the verse on "Monster" is stupid enough to be memorable. What even is that thing at the top of the song? How come I couldn't find an upload that cut his part out? It's literally at the beginning of the song and adds nothing, Jay-Z doesn't even ad-lib at all for the rest of the song, you could remove that and miss nothing. I'm focusing on the negative when this is one of the best pop songs there ever was. (It won't be #1 on the Top 20 because SAD INDIE SONGS YOU GUYZ, but it'll be at the forefront of the pop game.) Bless whoever heard this song and thought it should go to the girl who made "Pon de Replay," who heard "Pon de Replay" and heard the ability to carry this track home.

94) "I'm Throwed," Paul Wall ft./Jermaine Dupri

All these mid-aughts Houston rap singles have been way better than I expected. Also, I can't tell if "I'm a sharpshooter like Steve Kerr" was an outdated boast in 2007, or if it only seems outdated because Steve Kerr is a notable head coach in the National Basketball Association. Kerr was GM of the Suns in '07, wasn't he? Like I get his name rhymes, but you've gotta be able to name a more current basketball player than Steve Kerr, dude. Steve Novak was on the Rockets that season, literally his only NBA skill was the three, maybe try to squeeze him in there?

100) "It's Me Bitches," Swizz Beatz

it's disappointing that swizz beatz gave this beat to himself, but it's also perfectly understandable that no one else wanted to try to handle it. also if anyone wanted to hear the opposite of "Lady Marmalade," the remix features lil' wayne, r. kelly, and jadakiss, it features wayne and r. doing jamaican accents, and it starts with the words "voulez-vous couchez avec moi bitches." literally, the opposite of "Lady Marmalade."

The in-progress Top 20 for 2007: 20) “Kiss the G 20) "Que Hiciste," by Jennifer Lopez (4.28.2007) 19) "When I See U," by Fantasia (4.21.2007) 18) "Movin' On," by Elliott Yamin (3.17.2007) 17) "U + Ur Hand," by P!nk (1.13.2007) 16) "Doe Boy Fresh," by Three 6 Mafia ft./Chamillionaire (1.20.2007) 15) "Breath," by Breaking Benjamin (4.14.2007) 14) "Stolen," by Dashboard Confessional (4.21.2007) 13) "Beautiful Liar," by Beyonce & Shakira (3.31.2007) 12) "Cupid's Chokehold," by Gym Class Heroes ft./Patrick Stump (1.13.2007) 11) "The River," by Good Charlotte ft./M. Shadows & Synyster Gates (2.10.2007) 10) "Say OK," by Vanessa Hudgens (2.17.2007) 9) "Alyssa Lies," by Jason Michael Carroll (1.13.2007) 8) "Get Buck," by Young Buck (4.14.2007) 7) "And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going," by Jennifer Hudson (1.13.2007) 6) "Thnks fr th Mmrs," by Fall Out Boy (4.28.2007) 5) "Candyman," by Christina Aguilera (1.13.2007) 4) "Because of You," by Ne-Yo (3.17.2007) 3) "Umbrella," by Rihanna ft./Jay-Z (4.28.2007) 2) "Dashboard," by Modest Mouse (2.17.2007) 1) "The Story," by Brandi Carlile (4.28.2007) I think we all understand that “Kiss the Girl” is the Top 20, and that there is no reason to bother reviewing 2007 after last week, as “Kiss the Girl” was perfect.

4.29.2017

4) "Sign of the Times," by Harry Styles

...I can't deny that this is an ambitious song, and I cannot deny that it is focused in its ambition. If forced to make the choice, I would take this over ZAYN mumbling any day of the week. But you also made me listen to five and a half minutes of some misguided nonsense. This feels like a song you can sell once you've proven you can deliver the basics. This is the eleventh track of the rock opera you get to make once you have established enough credibility to sell a rock opera, the dark night of the soul a track or two before the climax of your career’s defining work, and it doesn't work as the first post-boy-band single. I can't believe this exists. Think of all the people who had to listen to this and sign off on it. "Yeah, a five-and-a-half minute epic ballad, that'll get the kids talking. That'll launch this kid into the stratosphere!" And, well, #4! hey! alright!, but fucking Liam could have a top-ten single tomorrow if he dropped a new track, #4 means nothing. I salute the ambition. I find nothing to applaud anywhere else.

50) "Now or Never," by Halsey

it's going to sound weird to critique halsey for lacking a sense of urgency on this song when that "hit the sin" song had ALL THE URGENCY but like as pleasant as it was to hear her whisper over a beat that bleeped and blooped agreeably, this song is called "now or never?" like this is the only time i've heard a halsey song where she seemed calm. maybe i just don't know what i want out of a halsey song. maybe this is Great and i'm just committed to not seeing what's Great in here. but like of all the songs to not overdramatize, you pick the one with an ultimatum! help me figure you out, dawg!

74) "Unforgettable," by French Montana ft./Swae Lee

This was fine! I have a thousand nitpicks -- ft./Swae Lee? FT./?! He was the entire song! -- but they, more than usual, add up to nothing here, because I enjoyed myself! Not the best song, not a song painting outside any lines, a song that'll prolly sound dated in 10 years (ah yes, 2017, when we revived dancehall for some reason), but a four minute ride through a nice part of Music Town!

79) "Everyday We Lit," by YFN Lucci ft./PnB Rock

The YouTube description informs the this is off the album Get the Nut, and my entire opinion of this song is colored by the fact of its origin. Fuck this. Like I know I'm supposed to judge the song and nothing else, but that album title tells me more about who this person is than anything on this world possibly could. And since we're talking about song-related ephemera, we've got dudes in rap videos wearing Toon Squad jerseys. I'm not sure how I feel about that. I kind of wish he'd take this more seriously. You're on this song about how awesome life is, but life's not so awesome that you can't participate in irony? I don't get this choice you have made.

89) "Cake," by Flo Rida & 99 Percent

this is just a two and a half minute party jam about fucking. bless this song. no frills, nothing overly complicated, ya just start it up, there's maybe half a metaphor and a fuckton of "whoa-ohs" and we're done. flo rida is the reigning king of trash pop rap, and i would listen to this 40 times before i ever listened to more life again.

92) "Bar at the End of the World," by Kenny Chesney

This sounds like it was designed to be the soundtrack to your CVS shopping experience. CVS might be too urban for this song. This sounds like it's going to be the song that plays every single time you walk into a gas station in a rural area for the rest of your life. They delivered this to every convenience store out in the sticks, they assessed their primary music delivery system and dropped off the cassette or the CD or maybe they had to hex the radio, but this song has been delivered, and the proprietors know the drill. You will be on your way up north for a cousin's wedding, fill up the tank and maybe get a Cherry Coke and some Twizzlers, still got a bit of a drive ahead of you and hey what the hell it's a vacation have some sugar, and you will hear this song, because it is the only song you can hear. You'll hear precisely 71 seconds and won't mind or notice any of it, meaning the song will have done its job.

97) "Weak," by AJR

So this is an anthem about saying "fuck it" and making bad choices, which sounds like it'd be right up my alley? But I don't dig it, and I'm trying to nail down what I don't like about it. Something about this track irks me, and I'm like one word away from figuring out what that is. It's not the fact it kind of reminds me of "Love in This Club," though that doesn't help. Maybe it's just too precious? It's like the first draft of a Fun. song, the outline of where a song could go before they add specific details about the relationship and what makes giving into it such a bad idea. I don't leave this song knowing anything about these dudes, other than the fact they want desperately for other people to like them. Cloying. Cloying! That's the ticket! They want very badly for you to feel sympathy for their plight, but they don't want to be too honest about themselves, lest you find something unrelatable. It’s a song about a damaged person by people who aren’t open about their own damage.

99) "If I Told You," by Darius Rucker

this how you do me shane mcnally. this was the one thing i was looking forward to, and it's this. whatever. it's fine. what a dumb week.

100) "Flatliner," by Cole Swindell ft./Dierks Bentley

maybe it's not the chillest thing to praise flo rida for making garbage pop/rap but chide these yutzes for making what is basically the same song, but

The Top 20 for this week is the same as the Top 20 was last week because 2017 didn’t even fucking try. 20) "Tin Man," by Miranda Lambert (4.22) 19) "Everyday," by Ariana Grande ft./Future (3.4) 18) "Everybody," by Logic (4.22) 17) "Guys My Age," by Hey Violet (2.11) 16) "Heatstroke," by Calvin Harris ft./Young Thug, Pharrell Williams & Ariana Grande (4.22) 15) "Yeah Boy," Kelsea Ballerini (3.4) 14) "You Look Good," by Lady Antebellum (4.22) 13) "Selfish," by Future ft./Rihanna (3.18) 12) "Slide," by Calvin Harris ft./Frank Ocean & Migos (3.18) 11) "Now & Later," by Sage the Gemini (2.25) 10) "It Ain't Me," by Kygo x Selena Gomez (3.4) 9) "Craving You," by Thomas Rhett ft./Maren Morris (4.22) 8) "That's What I Like," by Bruno Mars (3.4) 7) "The Heart Part 4," by Kendrick Lamar (4.15) 6) "Chanel," by Frank Ocean ft./A$AP Rocky (4.1) 5) "Run Up," by Major Lazer ft./PARTYNEXTDOOR & Nicki Minaj (2.18) 4) "Green Light," by Lorde (3.18) 3) "Despacito," by Luis Fonsi ft./Daddy Yankee (2.4) 2) "Issues," by Julia Michaels (2.11) 1) "iSpy," by KYLE ft./Lil Yachty (1.14) Hey: “Issues” is #12 on the real chart this week! That’s cool!

Who won? hahahahahhahahahahahaha 2007: 3 2017: 2 Though, hey, at least this week didn’t have as much Chainsmokers as I feared! That tally still doesn’t really reflect how badly 2007 is outpacing 2017, though. The 2007 Top 20 is officially nuts, like, “U + Ur Hand” at #17? But it might remain static through next week, that 2007 Top 20, 2007 looks to be leaving the door wide open with next week’s offerings. Do I think 2017 can notch another empty victory? TOTALLY, DUDE. (Foreshadowing.)