#if u come for me i'll just block you so... dont waste your time | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

echy-hexi · 5 years

Text

Me:You let a pyro have a match... What did you think she was going to do? Just light her cigarette?

My dad, almost having his eyebrows singed off:Yes

Me:...I'm disappointed

My dad:As you should be.

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King:hey I gots a question

Me:Nani?

King:What happens when a girl takes a penis enlargement pill?

Me:...I- what?

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Me:You're too sober Faith, go get a beer.

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JJ:Bruh why the fuck are the staff at this funeral home crying?

Celo:Because they work at a fucking funeral home

King:But they should be used to it

Me:No mom

JJ:Yea but you'd think they'd be desensitized to it.

Me:they're paid to cry

Celo:People have emotions unlike you. Not everyone is an emotionless piece of shit.

King:Sympathy

JJ:I'm not an emotionless piece of shit, you're confusing me with Faith

Me:lmao

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JJ:It looks like Satan's cock

Me:Wtf

Celo:It does

Me:How would you kn-... Nvm

King:Satan, did you just send a dick pic? [Context:They all call me "Satan"]

Me:No wtf

JJ:Trap

King:Don't lie

Fai:oh

Me:I'm literally bleeding from my twat and you assume I just sent a dick pic

King:TF is a twat?

Celo:Pussy

King:o

Me:I regret life decisions

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JJ:Lei are these still your notes for us?

"My brother said he is a explosive potato"

"Oofity scoop"

"I mad I wasted 4 years at LCA"

"ok listen here failed abortion im tired of trying to be nice so fuck off you ugly lonely ugly cunt and good night"

"Drink coffee it doesn't stunt ur growth although u don't have growth"

"lmao I got kicked out of 2 friend groups bc i said tiddies in Japanese"

"This is why you're not allowed to have a kid"

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JJ:Isen wants to speak to your manager lmfao

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Me:We're great friends here at Chaotic Evil™ the Group Chat HQ

JJ:Move I'm gay

Fai:Oh great

Me:We know

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Masky:I don't know JJ I just want to kill someone so I can eat *vibrates eyes*

Me:o h l o r d

Me:gEt ThE hOlY wAtEr MoThErFuCkErS

Masky:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Masky:NOT THAT!

JJ:*sprays with holy water*

Me:XD

Masky:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

JJ:*spritz spritz bitch*

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JJ:Everytime somebody says some dumbass shit I have a split decision between saying: "fuckin pardon?" or "come again *****??"

Fai:Why not both

Fai:Mix them together

JJ:Pardon again *****? Fuckin come again??

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JJ:Anyway I'll be sleeping w multiple soft n fluffy pillows like the trashy hoe i am and y'all will just have to deal, g'night

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Me:My sister wants to send a bird and some grass to China

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Fai:i'll just stab him in the dick. No more kids for you buddy

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Me:Reasons I don't need to discuss you butt taco

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Jeffo:That goddamn bever exposed my twitter

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JJ:Don't fuck rachel gardner tf y'all are both underage

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Celo:Concern is futile

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Su:You're literally talking to someone who read Danny x Rachel fanfiction at 5 in the morning

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King:How y'all doing

Fai:Dying

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Me:*recites the entire script of "history of the entire world, i guess" in chat*

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JJ:YOU CAN'T TALK ABOUT ANYBODY BEING A BOTTOM CELO

JJ:I PUSHED YOU AND YOU LITERALLY FUCKING MOANED

Su:w o a h t h e r e

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Me:"My parents are going to beat me" kinky

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Me:Last year:King being accused of raping JJ

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Me:ur mum gae

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Me:SHE WAS LOOKING AT LEVI'S DICK-

Su:And I oop-

Fai:Stop. Halt. Halt. Stop.

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Me:EVERYONE IS GAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Fai:No lei

King:Nope

Me:GO BACK TO YOUR CLOSET

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Me:lets rape africa

Fai:lets not???

Me:they scrambled to see who could rape africa the fastest

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Me:let's blame the maine on spain

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JJ:Cactus dildo

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Me:the holes just appear over night and magically get white stuff in them-

Fai:Alright

Su:I-

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Me:FBI OPEN UP MOTHERFUCKERS

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Me:michigan's a 4-year-old basic moody bitch wearing crocs and socks drinking some fucking starbucks and breaking down in the corner of america while everyone else gets high and drunk af and ignores him to cry. except ohio

ohio is michigan's not alone buddy

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Me:kim kardashian is a boy?

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Me:levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith levaith

Fai:halt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halthalt halt halt halt halt halt

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Me:all i heard was big. what-

Fai:don't worry bout it

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JJ:You ask your broke ass friends if they have money

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Me:my sister has a girlfriend apparently-

Fai:Her hand

Me:no

King:Jeffo

Fai:ye

Me:This chick she met in a game

JJ:When's the wedding

Me:Lmao

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"You can't legally stab children"

"Not on purpose anyways"

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Me:TIL my dad's boss lives near Jeffo and my sister's into punky skaters

JJ:TODAY I LEARNED THAT CELO'S MOM KNOWS MY MOM WHAT THE FUCK

Me:so kids what lesson did we learn

Fai/JJ:Nothing

JJ:Jynx

Fai:This is horrible

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Celo:unholy tutu screeching intensifies

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Me:im seriously crying by saying "im a weiner dog"

Me:i am the weiner dog

Me:the holy weiner dog

Su:w h e e z e

Me:im the all-mighty weiner dog

Celo:I can't breathe

Su:c r y i n g

Celo:And I'm ashamed

Me:im crying-

Me:im not

Me:im probably contact-high

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Su:The question is not are you choking, its what are you choking on?

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JJ:"Go jerk off to your fictional waifus, you horny fucking weeb"

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JJ:I speak English not oui oui baguette motherfucker

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King:i just had a flashback of when Destiny Powell started to have nicknames and called Nini tater tot.

King:then christoff just yelled, TATER TOT SHE'S A THOT

JJ:I don't remember Destiny saying that but i definitely remember Christoff saying that

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Me:hi and welcome to college! you want fresh air? WELL IT CANT FUCKIN HAPPEN! BECAUSE WE'RE TOO AFRAID YOU'RE GONNA COMMIT SUICIDE! SO THIS IS ALL YA GET. A SMALL CRACK IN THE WINDOW!

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Me:i enjoy the fact that none of us can actually bother correcting shit after sending unless someone points it out or we notice and it pisses us off.

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Me:i read that as "my new seat in meth is great"

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JJ:stop flirting some of us are trying to spill some tea

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Celo:Squidward thicc af 😏

Me:I- Cel why-

Cel:Aren't you the bitch that likes fell

Me:fuck you dont use this to your advantedge

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Cel:Also, how does that explain why Skyler doesn't even have a dick

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Me, using something from Tumblr:

Cel:There's a fight going on down the block. Wanna go see?

JJ:What-

Lei:Wh- what the fuck- why?

Fai throws Jeffo and Kint down the hallway to their right yelling “FUCK YOU!"

Sounds of things smashing

Lei:I could use some air and time out of the house. Sure why not-

Est:Take me with you I've been stuck in here for *counting on fingers* 50 years-

Lei:You're only 21-

Est:It only looks like I'm 21

Lei:What the fuck-

---

JJ:Did Cal just tell me he loves me for the first time?

Lei:Yes.

JJ:And did I just do finger guns back?

Lei:Yes. Yes you did.

---

Cel:Hello-

Fai, grabbing through the bars:*Starts to choke him*

Lei: Faith! Faith! Hold on let him explain!

Fai:He’s selling us out!

Lei:Let. Him. Explain.

Cel:*Coughs* Thank you, Leila.

Cel:I’m selling you out.

Lei:*Angry screaming*

Cel:*Choking noises*

---

Cel:Why are you smiling?

Jeffi:Can’t I just smile? Maybe something good happened and I’m happy!

JJ:Faith tripped and fell in the parking lot.

King:Did she die?

JJ:No

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Me:you force fed me pizza when i was a baby i remember the future

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Me:all these quotes from the internet, family members, or friends. then there's "ahem You can't be bisexual if you're sansexual. You get to live with this information now, bye"

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Some random discord shit

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punkscowardschampions · 5 years

Text

Rio & Indie

Rio: Are you sitting comfortably? Rio: Because I have POTENTIAL GOOD NEWS FOR ONCE Indie: im cotched baby ✌✌ come thru Indie: whats good? Rio: I found a place Rio: well, Buster did but 'low letting him get all the credit Rio: The lady just rang and said I can go see it at 4 Indie: IS IT??? omf dats so sick Indie: who did mckenna have to mesh like? Indie: bring me w i can leave school rn Rio: Yeah, I know right Rio: Jammy sod but we're well in with a chance as long as it's not like, nothing like the pics Rio: it's a bit outta the 24 but still only a bus ride in so Rio: [Sends said pics] What you think girl?! Indie: hes gon be flexin for days b ready for that 😂😏😂 Indie: bitch we movin up Indie: that place is bare hectic Indie: like a real madness Indie: 😍😍😍😍💖💖👑👑 Rio: 😏 Nothing out the ordinary then Rio: Yeah? I really like it too Rio: I'll swing by, say you've got dentist, whatever Rio: One of the rooms got an en-suite and everything like, no queues for the bathroom what Indie: this got me some type of way Indie: im hyped Indie: they gon let me keep 🐶 w us tho?? Rio: It didn't say nah so we're keeping it quiet but not not bringing him obvs Rio: keep up his training it ain't gonna be an issue, like Indie: BITCH WHAT IS THIS FEELIN Indie: tryna recognise it Indie: buzzin Rio: 🙌🙌🙌 Rio: I got a good feeling about it, it's near St Stephen's green like so Bomber can have walks and not have to worry about glass and shit everywhere Indie: bout to happy cry all up in this lesso Indie: n Indie: i can take my younger w too Rio: I love you babe Rio: it's gon' be so much better and Drew ain't got no claims or no key this time Rio: exactly, Ro be way more hyped letting her in these ends Indie: how this real?? it feels jokes Indie: heads are 👀ing me & i aint care Indie: ya girl havin some emotions step off it Rio: That's what I kept saying man Rio: like such an idiot like what, is this real life, nah, not me 😂 Rio: serious, they ain't know we living the good life, gotta go Indie: ITS HOW YOUR MANS BE LIVIN 💸💸💸 Indie: imma lips him Indie: soz bout it Rio: 😂 I'll let you live, you highkey in your emotions Rio: 'bout him though Rio: you're okay if he wanna live there too, when he comes for Uni? Rio: He doesn't have to, not like they don't have a house, not that far away, like Indie: babe you kno i aint tryna borrow your garms big love but like daddy delivers in all them ways and aint none of us vexiin Indie: he gotta respect my 🐶 mans but if they bros then yeah Rio: Yeah? Rio: Good Rio: we can do it on our own regardless but it'll be easier if he twos it Rio: and obvs, I want him there, ew 😜 Indie: imagine if you be like nah mckenna pay dem bills & dont be comin round 😂😂😂 Indie: its chill fr he aint no wasteman i be tryna avoid Indie: he havin his daddy moment Rio: Ain't tryna be that kinda daddy like soz taking away all dem perks Rio: Rude 😂 Rio: He loves you too, babe Indie: ri we all been knew what kinda wifey you gon b 😂😏😏😂 Indie: he comes for my gaming shit he getting merked tho keep that discipline fo yoself in your bed Rio: Hush child 🤐😏 Rio: Double hush, I don't even know if he 'bout that life so you safe Rio: though challenge him at ur own risk I ain't being part of that 🙄 Indie: thats how it gon b i 👀 Indie: i got a serious q but i aint tryna bring the mood ⬇ Rio: Seen not heard, with you? Doubt that 😉 Rio: go for it Indie: drew cant stop me innit Indie: like for real Rio: I don't see how, like Rio: who's he going to to 'fight' for you Rio: where's his case for us not looking after you/him ever doing it Indie: ✌✌✌✌✌ Indie: he probs not even gon show but Indie: he always coming to take me from home wen i was lil u kno Rio: I know baby Rio: but he never could keep you Rio: and lbr you gonna be actual grown soon, he really ain't got a leg to stand on, I promise, even if he comes through chattin' Indie: i love you Indie: more than Rio: I love you too, it's gonna be so legit, promise Rio: all the shit we liked from our old, but better too Indie: true man we did the most but that yard was clapped Indie: it was a time & imma miss it but this b a better one Indie: a fucking extra hype era or some shit Rio: 👑 Rio: that's the vibe Rio: can bring the 24 realness with without the bullshit, yeah Indie: innit tho Indie: lowkey repin for all my years but Indie: bitch im 🔥🔥⬆⬆ Rio: We should celebrate 'fore we go Rio: also you need diff garms 'cos not showing up with you in uniform like I'm your single muvva Rio: giving the game away shh Indie: lets break into our former & give it the send off it shoulda had Indie: ruuuude Indie: you is my ma deal w that Indie: still sexy w it so Rio: nah shadier to let him keep it Rio: welcome for the glo up boy Rio: 💋 i'll take it Indie: 😂😂😂😂 Indie: im only vexed cos he aint had my baby sis there but you kno he bringin them other young girls back how he do Indie: waste Rio: 😬 Rio: too real Rio: too gross Rio: does anyone know if he's tried to talk to ro or they have orrrr Rio: like what's going on fr Indie: she blockin hardcore Indie: she dont want him near but from what i 👀 & 👂 he aint tryna reach anyway Rio: 😒 Rio: even if he did just to say i know u don't want me here but if u do Rio: bare minimum Rio: whatever Rio: their drama, not ours Rio: we gettin' good Indie: fr if he aint tryna see her i is Indie: she got real fam Indie: & me too Indie: we all good Rio: mhmm Rio: him doing his part on him Rio: we all doing ours Rio: she's cute then, yeah? Indie: o you aint seen Indie: my bad Indie: u wanna? Rio: nah not yet, like it weren't explicitly stated but Rio: we know she don't want me near either Indie: i got you Indie: ill bring her to you mama Indie: my girls can meet Rio: Are you sure? Rio: idk if she letting her out of her sight like that yet Indie: its chill man Indie: if step ma be startin i got the other to back me Rio: We'll sort that Saturday yeah Rio: can't be giving her the cribs exclusive or the estate agent will be coming at me with catchment areas fr Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: boo how we celebratin Indie: mckenna aint here thats dry Indie: boy earned his place Rio: I know 😕 Rio: we go out and do it again when he is Rio: we keep it lowkey for now, get some food 'forehand 'cos know you ravenous Rio: then if we fucking with it we can get something extra that we gon' need Indie: truuuuuuu Indie: yeah girl this is beast Indie: im so about it Rio: It's a new block so if we get it we can be in there like, straight away Rio: no one has to move out, it ain't trashed Rio: 😍 Indie: safe Indie: can i roll out the school gates now cos ☁ 9 mood Indie: floating like Rio: I'm omw to pick you but lemme call 'em and you can roll out and meet me somewhere else 'cos I'm still like 15mins away Indie: 😍😍😍😍 Indie: I'll be boardin & 🚬 catch me wen Rio: 👍 Indie: here i be thinkin my day was bare decent cos a lad chirpsin me in the science lab Indie: naaaaaah bitch Rio: Ooh Rio: 'bout it tho Rio: made School worth attending Indie: innit he just rolled up Indie: new boy vibes Rio: 😍 Rio: literally never happened when i was here so rude Rio: known everyone from day 1, blessin' n curse Rio: gimme deets as they come in tho Indie: ikr but its bare long in the year to be criss and showin face 1st time Indie: suspect Rio: wys Rio: he a 30 spy pretending to be a kid orr Indie: idk Indie: but if he a fed he looking fresh on it Rio: 😂 Rio: Mystery, love that Rio: only one way to find out Indie: but like Indie: can i? Rio: Why not? Indie: u kno Rio: Yeah Rio: Take everything at your pace, however that be Rio: this is just chatting we talking about, you good Indie: yeah i can trust innit Indie: bills is right not all lads be like Rio: yeah, if he get it twisted off a convo then he the thirsty cringe one Rio: give it a shot Indie: he so lush lookin tho 😍😍😍 i been knew i said this afore but actual Indie: 👼🏿 Rio: so 'bout that Rio: defs why you wanted to bounce tho Rio: not want me 👀 like the nosy ma I is 😉 Indie: nah dont want him spying you cos you 🔥😍👑 Rio: 😏 gas up your old woman Rio: never gon' say no Indie: you kno its the mood of the century Indie: mckenna beggin for you still Rio: Hope so Rio: need that rent boy Indie: can always shot the 💍 baby Indie: 💎💎💸💸💸💸 Rio: 😭 Rio: Baby no Indie: jam babe i got jokes Indie: we playin Rio: I can't Rio: if he bounce I gonna just wear it forever Rio: awkward for him, soz Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: he too cuffed to run now Rio: Thanks Ann Summer Indie: i aint never been there Indie: soz bout it Indie: sure she a real one Rio: it's a bit retro these days but you know Rio: not missing much babe Indie: 👌👌 Indie: all lube & lace yeah? Rio: 😂 in a word Indie: no catch me rollin up then i aint need none Rio: okay babe Rio: lemme know if you need anything though, I got you Indie: you wild Indie: what you think i need ma? Rio: well idk Rio: not gonna give you ideas you ain't have but s'a whole world beyond ann and her rabbit Indie: 😂😂😂 Indie: you always tryna get me riding batteries Rio: i am not 😂 make me sound like such a wrongen Rio: tryna make sure u know what u want Indie: we been knew i dont Indie: going for those wronguns myself Rio: gotta explore babygirl Indie: 😒🤔 Rio: Not now, like Rio: we busy bitches Indie: catch me on the street bein indecent hold up Rio: 😏 behave Rio: got mark on your name as is Indie: what you sayin bout Rio: that police always after you without that madness Indie: keepin things fresh for the jakes and the rollers least Indie: they welcome Rio: miss me with that underage bait gurl 😏 Indie: 👌👌👌👌 Indie: 👵 Rio: 😡 cheeky bitch Indie: 💋 Indie: big love baby Rio: I see u Rio: get in 'fore I give you a love tap, like Indie: keep it peaceful Indie: ✌✌ Rio: 💋

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djratzlaff1011 · 5 years

Text

Hi, idk if you care or let alone if you see this. You dont follow me I dont follow you. But I see everything please dont block me. It made me sad that you deleted me on facebook. That's the only thing I wasnt blocked on.

And I could see the progress of the little girl.

Anyways. I wanna tell you about my life. You're always the first person I wanna tell but I cant because I dont wanna ruin your life. Work started back up today so that sucks. I've also had bad asthma problems since friday. I think its cause gay ass riley smoked a gay ass juul by me. I cant get any food down and idk why. That started sunday. I blame you. Cause you've been on my mind a ton. Cant even eat have a cup of ramen. I have an appointment tomorrow though. I have gotten so much stronger since you last saw me. My bench is up like 40 pounds. My squat idk cause squat sucks and my deadlift up 80 pounds. I'm finally growing some traps. That's what you pointed out that I need work on. Grant told me a few weeks ago I'm probably not getting a raise this year because I will "have more help than ever before" but if anything last season earned me a dang good raise. I think I'm doing pretty good with money. My goal is to save up enough to pay my car off this year. Our pups are doing great. Choji is so big and fat. Tobi is still an actual crack head. Scrappy is just the most laid back sweetest thing ever. And our awkward naruto is awkward and nerdy as ever. But I love them. You should come see them sometime. I dont have to be around. I'm really good at keeping my house clean nowadays. Obvi not to your standards though. I dress better now. I also have an addiction to alphalete clothes. OH my hair is thicker!!!!! I been using some shampoo mom got me for Christmas and I think it works. I ran out so I'm trying another one so I'll let you know how that goes. My grandma is doing so much better. That's great. Jordon is the worst roommate ever. Hes been late on Bill's every month and doesn't do shit around the house. But I need the help so hes still here. I was gonna go back to school and hopefully graduate with you but I still have no clue what I want to do. I'm sure theres mor but I cant think about it right now. But if I'm being up front. I've been pretty depressed as of late. I just feel so damn alone. Like I have no one. I know I do but that's how I feel. I havent slept in my bed in weeks I sleep on the couch. I do still sleep with my koala though. From what I've gathered. You live with oscar now. That didnt make things better. I feel like you're so happy with him and you love him. More than you loved me. And you forgot about me. I'm happy for you. I really am. But in my head you're mine. Forever. And the fact that you actually aren't kills me everyday. I never see you anymore. I used to see you driving all the time. The last time I saw you was in Walmart with your dad. God you looked so good. But u had to turn away cause I wouldn't be able to talk to you without losing it. I tried. I really did. I tried to step back and give you space so you could get over me because I'm not good enough for you. But I regret it. After I gave you the pie we never spoke again. Was it that gross? Jk. But I miss you every day. I'm wasting my time typing this but I gotta say it before I explode.

My favorite song now is Better by Khalid. Honestly because Khalid reminds me of you. Idk why but everytime I hear him I think of you. Idk what else to say right now so I'll cut it off here. I love you Mi Reina

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