#if i be completely unrestricted on that it wld be overwhelming? i've always been deep with gratitude and love but idk

[noxtivagus]

how do u interact w ppl again >////<

#🌙.rambles #this is actually so crazy bcs this is the. sort of sentiment i've been writing about a lot lately #n. smth i wrote about quite a lot to myself in that letter i haven't finished yet! #the future is so uncertain n. even things that'll happen a moment from now or wtvr. we. we really can't predict it or wtvr #it's a bit scary but honestly the idea of the many beautiful possibilities waiting in the future. in that unknown that's yet to be written #that. that's always given me a lot of hope honestly. keeps me going. forging ahead. for a better tomorrow. #like yesterday i did not expect that all to happen on tumblr n all! n today this w my friends #with how complex n confusing life really is. i do realize that #it turned midnight here wait Late Night Thoughts . yeah >< #yk communication n. idk ppl i love like family n friends. that's always helped in keeping me grounded #i've always been a rather lonely person at heart i'm not sure why but i've genuinely always had issues with feeling like i belong #wherever i go. bcs #i think i've always felt pressure to be 'perfect'? so it means a lot to me when. yk the ppl in my life n the settings where #i can really be myself. be open. honest. i never lie when it comes to how much i love the ppl in my life so #to everyone i've ever shown affection before it's genuinely a lot more even that i haven't said or shared but i'm afraid sometimes that #if i be completely unrestricted on that it wld be overwhelming? i've always been deep with gratitude and love but idk #i. i logged back into my old tumblr account again for a bit earlier n #thinking of it i think yeah those emotional scars don't ever really properly leave. i feel like crying fuck that said though #i'm genuinely proud of how far i've gone. #NO I RMB I WAS GNA WRITE SMTH EARLIER THIS MORNING N JUST NOW BUT I FORGOT BOTH 😭😭 #but wait back to the initial topic yh thinking abt it n 6 months from now both seems so far yet so near #like. i remember not too long ago i was. like yk my bday seemed so far away n then look now it's already been more than a week #n like in just 2 days we're gna make the fc in ffxiv ideally yeah? it feel so far away still but. in the very near future #i'll actually be in that moment n all. #all those moments in the future feel like just a dream or wish or wtvr but the day eventually comes n. an outcome happens. #once i genuinely did think for example that. buying ffxiv. being in high school. meeting certain people #i never really thought any of this would ever happen but look. here in this real world in the present there's no denying its truth #thinking what more could be unknown. what more beautiful things r in my future. i need to work towards it. i need to live for it. #when it gets hard just remembering the past n remembering how much more i could look forward to gives me so much hope #holding unto that just. yeah. 🥹🫶🏼