#idk. i’ve been doing smoothies a lot and they help significantly but still not a Meal

[wormsdyke]

not to be dramatic but i would give a witch my firstborn child to have a normal relationship with my body’s hunger cues and eating in general

#why is it so haaaard #i wanna eat. nothing sounds good. i don’t want to deal with the sensation of things in my mouth. i’m so hungry #i’ve been really struggling with like. i eat a meal and i’m still hungry. so i wanna eat more to not be hungry but i just did all that WORK #i think i am realizing i have taken a rather literal (autistic) approach to food prep #this is what a Meal looks like and when you eat it you are Not Hungry #and an appropriate amount of food for me is just more than that #which is ok! i’m not like upset that i need to eat more! i’m just fucking tired! #idk. i’ve been doing smoothies a lot and they help significantly but still not a Meal #ALSO THE BLENDER IS SO FUCKING LOUD. why is the most accessible food also the noisiest #orating! #ask to tag

[mickey-dobbs]

I just want to preface this by saying that I fully 100000% support the vaccine and I do want to get it at some point.

My issue is, I have me/cfs and a lot of my symptoms are the same as Covid - fatigue, brain fog, muscle aches, fever….

I got Covid the week before Easter, and even through I’ve “recovered”, it’s made all of my me/cfs symptoms worse. I can barely walk or stand for more than a minute before my leg muscles start hurting too much, or the fatigue just becomes overwhelming. I haven’t been able to make myself a single meal or even a smoothie in months. I could keep going but I think the points been made - my quality of life and health was already awful, and since the beginning of April it’s been significantly worse.

A few years ago I got the flu shot and ended up completely bedridden for two months. I felt so sick and the dizziness I experience with my me/cfs got so bad that I couldn’t walk without help and my doctor actually got worried I had a brain tumor and I had to get scans done.

Having had this experience, I’m absolutely terrified to get the vaccine while my body is still an absolute mess post-Covid. I was hoping to wait until my symptoms return to “normal” and the extreme symptoms I’ve had post-Covid ease up. I’m so fucking terrified that this vaccine will do what the flu shot did to me. I honestly don’t feel like I have the mental or physical strength to endure feeling any worse than I already do now. I know some people have reported their symptoms actually improving after getting the vaccine, but I’m so so so so scared it’s not going to be like that for me.

I have an appointment with my dr tomorrow for my annual exam and I’m already dreading it because just the effort of getting dressed to go out, then having to change into a gown, then back into my clothes is absolutely exhausting to me. I’m actually sitting here in tears because it’s all just too overwhelming and my mom is pressuring me to talk to my dr about getting the vaccine ASAP (because she wants to be able to invite people over again??? Apparently her social life takes precedence over the risk that my health may deteriorate even more but oh well fuck me I guess 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Idk why I’m writing this post. I’m just overwhelmed and scared and I have no one to talk to so I’ll just talk into the void.

#mine