#idk who you are luis but i hope you found yourself the nicest husband in the world and that you lived the best life ever

[evanbuckleykinnie]

Buck was fifteen when he first explored his attraction to men.

He had never really thought much about it, the idea of liking the same sex. He knew people's stances on it, knew that he had no issues with it, knew that seeing a poster of Harrison Ford as Han Solo had made him feel the exact same thing he'd felt looking at the poster of Sarah Michelle Gellar as Daphney did. But, really, it had never been something he had time to give attention to.

Not until his mother made some comment about a neighbour parading himself and his boyfriend around in broad daylight. Her tone had held just enough barely disguised disdain that Buck had latched onto it, intrigued and desperate to get her attention. He'd never needed good attention before and it had seemed like a viable way of getting something from the woman. Something other than blank looks and dismissive sentences created to cut him down or cut him right out of a conversation.

It didn't take long to find someone. At all. He'd half expected it would have. But one trip down to the arcade he'd seen open up, on a sunny Saturday afternoon, had placed him directly in the path of Luis. His age, tall, the prettiest brown eyes Buck had ever seen in his life, killer at almost every single game. The connection had been instant, shocking almost, like sparks and fireworks. No girl had ever made his heart flutter with a smile before, but Luis seemed to have his pulse racing in seconds.

It had been a carefully constructed dance, as careful as two teenagers could be while in the throes of puberty and arcade game fueled adrenaline. Bumping into each other, offering to trade money and tickets to get them both the prizes they wanted, tanned fingers brushing over bruised knuckles, brown meeting blue in fleeting glances. Buck had never really flirted before, never really knew how to, but Luis seemed to ooze a charm that made it all fall naturally. The laughter, the knocking elbows, the playful banter.

They'd played for hours, game after game, until they were carrying armfuls of tickets up to the counter and pointing to their desired prizes. Without missing a beat or letting the silence drag too long, Luis had asked if Buck had wanted to get something to eat as they both admired their winnings, and he'd agreed instantly. He had a pocket full of money still and a burning desire to continue whatever it was they had both stepped into.

Fries and milkshakes had blurred into walking back to Buck's home with their pinkies linked, hands swinging back and forth between them. Luis had reached out with his free hand as they'd gotten to the gate, fingertips gently brushing over the shell of his ear with some passing comment about how they'd been bright red since they'd first made eye contact over the air hockey machine. Buck hadn't swatted his hand away, simply leaning into the small touch with a smile he had been fairly certain hadn't left his face for almost as long as his ears had been red. The night around them had been quiet, dark, a cool breeze rustling nearby leaves. Nobody around, nothing illuminating them but the light from his parent's bedroom window.

Luis had leaned in just after that, their lips brushing without really pressing. Bashful, innocent, clumsy, warm. Buck had forgotten all about the plan to bring Luis inside and introduce him to his mother with their hands clasped together. He had forgotten about how it had all started out as a desperate bid for a reaction, an experiment. Everything had melted away around him and the only thing he'd cared about was leaning in to chase the taste of chocolate and the scent of some god-awful body spray Luis had doused himself in before going out.

As first kisses went, and he definitely considered it a first of sorts, it was good. It felt natural. Easy. Luis' hand had found the side of his face, thumb gentle over his brow, and it had taken Buck far too long to realise he'd placed his hand at the right angle to gently caress his birthmark. His own hands, scabbed and scarred, had fisted the fabric of Luis' black shirt, and he'd held on so tight Luis had pulled back to ask him if he was alright.

They'd parted ways a minute later, Buck mumbling something about having to go inside, avoiding eye contact as he'd forced his hands to unclench and fall to his sides. They never exchanged numbers. They never made plans to meet again. Evan had simply left him standing, only turning for a moment to wave before pushing his front door open and disappearing into the darkness of his home. He'd peeked through the window before he made his way up to his bedroom, and Luis had stood outside for almost two minutes before leaving.

He never told his mother. He didn't utter a word about Luis to anyone until he was much, much older.

Eddie frowned, amused, as he pulled a strange looking magnet out of one of Buck's many boxes. They'd finally committed to combining the Diaz and Buckley households after a few months of solid dating. Eddie had been pretty adamant almost two weeks in, since Buck was already a regular in his and Christopher's home, but Buck had wanted to wait. Just to make sure Eddie had been sure. Just to make sure it felt right.

"Hey, Buck?" He called, pausing Buck in his attempts to untangle two pairs of jeans he'd chucked into a box without thinking to fold them. "What's this?"

Buck squinted at the little square of metal and plastic Eddie was holding up, blinking in shock a few moments later. Blue eyes met brown and a very small smile spread across Buck's face.

"That..." He dropped the jeans back into their box, walking over to take the magnet, turning it over to brush his thumb over the cartoon image of a cat and dog chasing one another. "Is a very distant memory from an old friend."

Eddie quirked his eyebrow, peering down at the magnet and then up to the red of Buck's ears. He reached out on pure instinct, fingertips brushing over the shell of Buck's ear, feeling the warmth there with mild amusement. Buck didn't swat his hand away, leaning into the touch with a small chuckle.

"Well... Now you've gotta tell me the story." Eddie insisted, soft and quiet, watching as Buck nodded.

"I will."

#i have feelings about bi buck #idk who you are luis but i hope you found yourself the nicest husband in the world and that you lived the best life ever #911 oc??? maybe #911 abc #evan buckley #eddie diaz #buddie #buddietime #evanssubparwriting #this is unnecessarily soft its 1am and im listening to my buck playlist #me writing about buck kissing a boy at the same age i first kissed someone of the same gender?? haha #anyway i love him #never make the mistake of asking a buck of any age before eddie about his feelings #luis you fool