#identity i dont necessarily want to default to equating things when the point is regardless of what it means to them its still the same

[flockofdoves]

hooooly shit my best friend from elementary schools dad follows me on instagram but my old best friend i hadnt seen on there in years but just now through some post he posted found out they have a new account and i know this type of stuff maybe shouldnt be so significant to me anymore but seeing in my friends bio that i havent really kept in contact with since the first 2 years of middle school after i moved at the end of elementary school that they’re using they/them pronouns now really just did something in my brain just now. because i’ve realized in recent years i very likely could interpret things as them being my first ever crush but i just didnt realize back then (or that i was gay in general til middle school) and sometimes i wondered about if i really could frame it as having a crush on a straight girl bc we were so young when i last saw them and i thought maybe there was a possibility they maybe would end up being bi or something from very vague vibes even if i always thought they were so much better at grasping how to fit in/gender/etc stuff than me (which absolutely also was me being autistic w/o knowing and them being decent at interacting with neurodivergent people from having a good relationship with their brother who has down syndrome so they were more patient to me than other kids who were more cruel about how i was) so idk how to explain it but its just like. interesting (not a good description idk!! like positive but also . Huh. life is interesting. also god is there so much to unpack about my experiences as a young kid of course) to see some overt sign finally that not only highly implies lgbt identity but also more explicitly a personal alignment with gender nonconformity beyond just how all lgbt ppl default are somewhat classified as such

#this is worded so obtusely like obvs the easiest thing is just to assume theyre nonbinary but since i have personal weird shit w my own #identity i dont necessarily want to default to equating things when the point is regardless of what it means to them its still the same #significance for me seeing it reflecting on my own life #cpost