#i've read so many comics in the last several months but certainly not enough that I'm probably missing specific personality things here

[ataraxetta]

Trying to brute force my way through this years long block and wrote a little Jason and Dick fic. I'm at 6k words but it's not ready for ao3, so just putting this little (very rough) intro here for fun and attention? validation? just because? who knows. I am weak! It's got a tiny bit of nc17 reminiscing, but otherwise safe I think. Jaydick, established-ish relationship (fwb type thing), 800ish words.

-----

Jason is slouched on a broken wooden bench in a private corporate courtyard, sucking aggressively on a milkshake when the deactivated comm in his helmet bursts into sudden, shocking life. 

He startles hard, a closed-mouth gasp dislodging the chunk of strawberry stuck in his straw and sending it rocketing straight into the back of his throat. Barbara tolerantly waits out his violent coughing fit before speaking again. She says, "Hey."

"Jesus Christ, O," Jason swears, voice hoarse and racing heart trying to slow. "Almost shit my fucking pants."

"Sorry," Barbara says, sounding anything but. She makes a noise like she's trying not to laugh. "You okay, there, scooter?"

Jason coughs a bit more and belches painfully, wipes his mouth and re-engages the faceplate of his helmet and says, "blow me," through the voice modulator. Barbara really does laugh this time, and the tension that's been stiffening the line of Jason's shoulders since the moment she contacted him ebbs a little. Oracle doesn't fuck around on the job, so whatever it is she wants to talk to him about must not be that serious. He tosses what's left of his milkshake into a nearby trash can and leans comfortably in the shadow of a 'No Trespassing' sign where the security cameras he disabled point right at him. "So did you need something, or just dropping in to scare the holy ghost out of me?"

"A little of both," she admits. Jason can hear the clack of her keyboard in the background. It's still evening, setting sun painting the horizon a deep pink that's faintly visible under the thick grey Gotham smog. She's suited up early tonight, but so has he, and he doesn't ask. Still typing, she says, "I hear you're teaming up with N tonight."

"Where'd you hear that?"

"A little birdie told me."

"Funny," says Jason, bone dry. Find a Robin, pick it up, all day long you'll have a loud mouth. Barbara sounds entirely too amused with herself, though, so he breathes like Darth Vader through the helmet and grins when she makes a disgusted noise. "But yeah, later. I need his bendy shit for some recon. Why?"

Barbara says, "He's in a mood."

The way she says it like a warning stokes the beginnings of a fire inside him, a burgeoning electric spark lighting him up. Instinct and habit have him scanning the rooftops across the road despite knowing no one will be there. He's glad the helmet masks his too-interested tone when he says, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. Just wanted to give you a heads up."

Jason and Barbara aren't super close these days, and she was hard to read even back when he still had all his marbles. He doesn't know how much, if anything, she knows about what he and Dick get up to lately, can't tell from context if this courtesy call is for him specifically or if she's had the same conversation with anyone else planning to cross Nightwing's path tonight. Whatever the case, it's undoubtedly well-intentioned, so he says, "well, thanks," kind of dumbly. The courtyard gate creaks open a couple hundred feet away and he slinks into the shadows. "I've gotta go do a thing. Stop fucking with my comms."

"Sure," she tells him. "Good luck with your thing."

"Yeah."

She clicks off. Jason turns off his comm again.

*

A few hours later, exactly on time, Dick comes to a light-footed landing on a warehouse roof a few feet away from him. His hair is exceptionally tousled, his eyebrows exceptionally expressive, his Nightwing getup exceptionally tight. Smiling, he tilts his head and puts his hands on his hips and says, "Knew I'd find you here."

"I literally told you to meet me here," Jason points out.

Dick ignores him. He stretches out his shoulders and arms, touches his toes and straightens, bends back until his hands touch the roof, hefts himself up onto them, turns in a circle on his palms and tips backwards until his feet touch down, then straightens again. Loose, he tosses Jason another grin. "Ready?"

Jason’s brain stutters a little. The last time they fooled around, less than a week ago, Dick had shoved him against a wall with a grin on his face just like this one and climbed him like a tree, rode him rough, slutty, shameless, and so good Jason shot off like a rocket inside him. Then he'd turned Jason around and fucked between his thighs and jizzed all over Jason's balls and cock and a little bit on the pristine white wall of his pristine white living room in his pristine white apartment. 

Jason says, "Ready."

tbc

#jaydick #my fic #gosh this is rough but I must allow myself to write poorly before I can write well again right? #this is *handwaves* canon #i've read so many comics in the last several months but certainly not enough that I'm probably missing specific personality things here #but we rolling with it

[lutzbug]

Why my comic takes so long: A Primer

Copy pasted this from my comic blog.

Hey, everyone. It doesn't take a genius to figure out that this comic takes quite awhile to update. I wanted to give you all an explanation for why that is, and it's not just because my life is busy.

I have severe cPTSD. It is a chronic condition whose symptoms are not easy for me to manage. It is not as bad as it used to be, and I've been in treatment for several years now. I'm also autistic, which I consider a net benefit, but it can add a second layer of difficulty to the challenges I face every day.

I am just now coming off a serious PTSD episode that has been lasting over a month now. I have been working with my therapist to work through this rough patch, but I'm not going to lie. It's been hard. These episodes are debilitating when they happen, and I can't draw or write when my brain is short circuiting. Trying to get me to work on my comic during a serious flare-up of mental illness is like asking someone to run a marathon with double sprained ankles; it's only going to make the problem worse. The best I can do is manage my symptoms, go to work every day, take a THC edible every night (thank you medical marijuana card, I love you mwah), pick at a couple projects here and there, and wait for my creative drive to come back in full.

This comic takes me a long time to produce. It's not because I chose a difficult and inefficient process; I am quick with my paintbrush when I'm at my best. It's not because I've gotten bored or lost passion; I think about this comic and its characters nonstop. I'd work on KNM every day if I could, because I love what I do and I firmly believe that this story is worth telling. No, it's because I have severe mental illnesses that demand psychiatric care. This is also why I left the comicfury forum and wiped my post history--the place is terrible for my mental health. No hard feelings; I just gotta care for myself. I hang with friends in group chats and private servers these days.

I am writing this blog post because I don't see webcomic artists having honest talks about mental disorders often enough. We lose people to these illnesses. I certainly don't see much discussion about easy ways for neurodivergent people to manage an online presence, because I struggle with it! Instead, I see artists telling each other that they have to release pages nonstop to get regular readership. Folks from the arts community pressure each other to reach impossible standards, because god forbid your art doesn't do numbers. It pains me.

You don't have to work yourself to the bone to get the job done. These are passion projects, not slick graphic novels that have been produced by an entire team of artists. Many of the same readers have hung in my comments section for years, no matter how long it takes me to post pages. If you genuinely care about what you do, an audience will find it and stick around, no matter how small or weird. I don't feel like I need to be a big wheel in the art world.

I've come to terms with the fact that completing KNM is going to take me a long time; having a chronic illness will do that. I'm in a rough patch for now, but it will pass like always and I'll be back to making this comic. It is a permanent fixture in my life. I always return to it, no matter how long it's been between pages.

Thank you all for reading and for sticking around. I appreciate all of you.

#text post #not art #lutz speaks #update #cptsd

[ut-versotale]

VERY IMPORTANT General Update, PLEASE READ (2/25/2023)

Heyo, people. Welcome to another update! This is actually gonna be quite an important one that requires some feedback. So, uh, here's hoping this reaches as many of you as it can! But first, let's start out with:

Where Have I Been?

I haven't posted an update for the website in about a month. Basic answer: my college started its theatre stuff for this semester. Believe it or not, I'm a bit of a theatre nerd (Shocking, I know).

So, my time after classes the last several weeks were devoted to that and trying not to fall behind in my homework. Our performances are now done, which unfortunately means no more theatre for me for a while, but fortunately DOES mean Versotale progress can resume!

And trust me, I have certainly not lost motivation this time around. I finished writing an entire dialogue tree last night over one of "Pepper's" new scenes, which was incredibly fun.

(On a side note, I am so proud of how far I've come with these characters. Spade and Pepper are almost completely unrecognizable from their original incarnations, which is a very good thing considering you could 100% tell back then I did not have a concrete idea for what I wanted their characters to be. Now, it feels much more concrete, and a lot more Undertale-esque. I can't wait for you all to see them now)

Now, for the important question.

The Website - When to Release It?

I've been debating this for a while, admittedly. Excluding the actual comic stuff, the website's decently close to having everything I believe to be functionally feasible at the moment.

I've mentioned in the past that I want this website to be the new hub for Versotale rather than this Tumblr blog. However, I'm unsure whether I should release the website alongside the Versotale Prologue, or if I should release the website FIRST and then add the Prologue in later.

So... what better to do than get the feedback of the people I'm making this stuff for? What do you all think? Please, do answer, as it will be most beneficial to determine what you guys believe to be best.

As always, thank you for taking the time to read this update post! I'll update you all again soon enough.

#undertale #undertale au #versotale #poll #important #update