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funkymbtifiction · 1 year

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Hi Charity, thank you for your last answer. I really appreciate it :)

I've recently handed in my resignation. I do love working as a sales rep. It's a good experience with nice pay but it won't get me anywhere I need to. The thing is, I just don't know what I need to do now. My plan is to move to US. Everything in my dream is tied to that land. Thing is, I don't have a degree and work experience enough to make it happen. So I have only one choice - studying in a course, find a job then grow my network so I can find a way to move to US. The thing is, studying in a course means I need a LOT of money. I don't know if I can even afford that. But if I don't get a diploma or new degree, I can't find a job (that provides money, so the vicious cycle continues).

Suddenly, I feel the urge to abandon this vision. I genuinely feel like it's all not worth it. All the efforts ruined. I shouldn't have been so impulsive and handed in my resignation. I shouldn't indulge myself and got into that useless major simply because I liked it. If I will ever going to get back on the right track, I need to turn about 360 degree and build everything up from zero. I think it's too late now. I genuinely feel no one believes in me. My family turned their back on me. My friends ... well, they don't exist unless I can give something to them. So I thought 'well, if nobody thinks I can amount to anything. I'll just party all day, eat like there is no tomorrow and drink til I drop dead'.

I still manage to rein myself in a little, but I feel like nothing will ever turn out well. That I simply am not good enough for this dream, no matter how much I improve. I used to think 'I will try my hardest for the people I'll meet in the future'. At this moment, I feel like it'll never come true. I know it in my gut, I need to be more active - seeking opportunities, networking, learn more, improve myself and mindset. But it all feels not worth the effort.

Should I just accept it that I maneuver myself into a dead end and live 'realistically'? Or should I keep dreaming and try my best, even if I feel like it's so far away and out of reach?

I think only a few people are destined for success. For others, no matter how they try, they can't succeed. It is written in the star and sealed by the wind and earth. Maybe I might have been destined this way. To have a dream cruelly ripped away from me and I can't do anything to change it. I want to make it happen. I want to improve, but the weight of impossibility (real or imagined) drowns me.

I'm sorry for a very depressive tone in this ask. Thank you if you get around to answer this post.

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It's always hard to know whether to give up on a dream or keep fighting for it -- some people fight their entire lives and never get what they want and others make it happen through sheer force of will and resourcefulness. Whether you should fight for this is something only you can decide, but I can tell you that getting what you want is directly tied to how hard you are willing to work for it, what you are willing to give up to have it, and how much your desire for it drives and reinforces your decisions (plus things like good luck, knowing the right people to get your foot in the door, and persistence). A large part of success is simply showing up and working at it daily.

There's also something else to consider -- a different dream. Often we can lock ourselves into a dream version of ourselves, and ignore what's right in front of us, or an opportunity -- another door that we could walk through into a different life, if we are willing to stop looking forward and look around instead. There's something to be said for SP types who live in the now -- they are always searching for something to enrich today, this moment, this week. What if you tried other things? Other jobs? Met other people? Where might that lead you? It's not all or none, although some people tend to think that way -- if I can't have this, I won't have anything, I may as well give up. What if THIS isn't what is best for you, and it's THAT instead? What if THIS wouldn't make you as happy as you think, but THAT would? What if you woke up each day in search of meaning or wonder?

If you regret handing in your notice... can you get your job back? Or is this the nudge you need to find something more challenging? What if you thought about the best life you could have where you are now, or somewhere closer than the US? Broaden your thinking. Make room for the unexpected. Mourn what you feel you have lost, and then set realistic expectations for yourself in the next six months. What is something you can do that is manageable that will either take you into a new phase of your life or head you toward what you want?

Everyone (including me) has had these woe is me moments. If I can't be a best-selling novelist, I may as well give up! No, you can write books because you love it, and be content with a smaller life, because you are not willing to do what's required to BECOME that novelist. (Be a "look at me" self-promoting author -- do interviews, walk in places, talk people into buying my book, sell them aggressively, go places to meet people and make connections. I am not willing to do that, so I must settle. No excuses her, just the facts: I don't want it bad enough to inconvenience myself out of my comfort zone.)

What are you willing to do to get what you want?

#question #mbti

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