#i'm sorry it's so long idk if anyone's gonna read it but it's my bday today | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

maria-eve-falcon · 1 year

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I think she understood his anxieties, you can hear in her songs over the years and I think just from what we know of her as a person... I think she got tired of waiting for him to do something and decide what he wanted in his life... And you can say that him not deciding has to do with his anxieties, but I think she understood him and just waited as long as she could...

sorry I didn't answer early.. I had this answer in my mind but I was(am) to0 tired.

precaution : it's gonna be long and there will be out of this particular topic disclosure because idk why a box inside was opened by this

so.. while I get people when they say she waited too long (bit skeptical) we can't blame anyone (this is making me cry wow parasocial much?) and:

they both of mental issues as we know . god knows what was their position in times. normal people without any issues (almost everyone has issues cause 'perfect' is just not a thing) can't commit easily , famous people with issues having a hard time is really normal. commitment is big. it's not just a piece of paper (imo)

I can't blame joe at all here. cause look at the position he was in. his career kickstarted and he was with her. something very unsimilar with her other exes. so, he doesn't have a career close to the people that debuted with him / close to the time he did i.e liz debici (they won a chopard together ) . he doesn't have enough press (lmfao billy lynn had the record for most press(if not collectively) with him until recently ), nominations and stability what so far judging that he is a decent actor (you can disagree for sure but he IS a decent actor objectively (even when miscast) )

I understand he doesn't want fame and hoards of money doesn't mean he doesn't want a stable career ( while tay's is 740 million a year! that's a load even after paying for everyone and everything! (idk why I pointed this out) )(acting is not a stable career choice it self but I bet he wants to have some kind of stability before at least marriage) AND he has to calculate his every word and action since the beginning .

this is gonna sound mean but do you think tay's position screams suitable for marriage and babies? I'm sorry but she is the position (was before the tour too!) where she literally is on top of the world ! ( yeah I wrote this after the people's article so I'm angry) to get married now and gain a load of attention FOR IT, is sure to be overwhelming for an actor like joe who grew up pretty normal. posh , but normal. I'm sorry but she hasn't step down at all! (not her fault but.. not his either)

considering everything I just pointed out lame excuses (this is gonna get ugly so buck up) what about her picking fights? (when you are in love, you fight but don't pick them?! ) for example afterglow, false god. she even said she knows it's her fault but wants HIM to apologize first. (i'm a person who used to always apologize first and boy, at a point you don't care and distance yourself from those who keep making ya do that (that's how my rtl with my 8 year long bestie ended, fucking exhausting I tell ya) ) ALSO when SHE broke HIS heart first! sorry but my man is human!

ok , fuck all I said . even judging by ylm , I'm assuming with pressure to work on his career or not he couldn't read her mind cause surprise! he is human! they just needed to talk about where they were or what she actually wanted but clearly she didn't understand that.

also about letting go. do you really think a woman who is still writing songs about jm (something that happened 13 years ago) AND INDICATING ENOUGH THAT IT'S ABOUT HIM KNOWING WHAT HER FANS ARE LIKE , going as far to dress up like she was in the vma's literally a decade ago and announcing her new album on the bday of some guy's ex wife (who every one is done dragging for the last 3 years) on mtv music awards is letting go? that thing icked me soo hard . what is growing up is confusing to me since midnights announce. she needs to stop these little clues to diss people that are perfectly fine with their lives and don't care at all! it just shows she loves dragging things and can't let go or be cool about it after soo many years!(nothing else!) and worst part is she makes it obvious that it's about them. now it has come to the point where it is just a stupid topic for everyone to make fun of. her pain surrounding jm and kanye has been dragged for soo long by none other than her and her fans that either people just roll their eyes and move on or it's just a joke atp!!!!!!!!!!!!

tl;dr : I just made 7 points of why joe might have not proposed to her and was stressing about doing so.

#taylor swift #swiftwyn #life

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hyunjinz · 8 months

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I HOPE IM NOT LATE 🥺💗🌙 hello my most belovedddd;;; i hope you have a wonderful bday and are surrounded by loved ones and just get to eat all the cake and food you love and get wonderful presents!!! agnes you're literally THE BACKBONE OF STAYBLR ‼️‼️‼️ idc what anyone says... being one of the ancients of this site i think i get to decide who is the backbone and it's gonna be you man 🥺💗🫂🤲🩶 without fail you're always supporting everyone and so kindly idk you're just one of the BEST ppl on here and i love and adore you and am so happy to have known you as long as i have 🥹💗🫶🫂🌙🖤🩶🐺🤍 feeling very lucky to be your pal and know you‼️💗 happy birthday beloved !!! hyunjin and i are gonna bake you a giant cake (and probably drop it but 🫂💗) i love you!!!! (this is li btw HSNDKSNSKS)

first of all I'M SO SORRY it took me a week to reply 😭😭 I'm a mess and i suck at replying to people lmao

thank you SO much for the birthday wishes, you always send me the nicest, longest messages and it means a lot truly 🥺🥺💖 it wasn't the best bday but you definitely made it better 🥰🥹

and pleeeease what do you mean the backbone of stayblr 😭😭 you're such a big part in my stayblr journey tho even if we don't interact much but i remember vividly that you were possibly my very first mutual here and it meant so much back then because being on stayblr was intimidating af!! there were just so many talented content creators and i was like tf am i even doing here dnbddb so yeah thank you for following me all those years ago 🥹🩷

also yes i would be so grateful for a cake I didn't have one this year lmao but hey i also dropped a bday cake before so no worries if you and hyunjin do as well 😅

thank you again for this message, i read it every day since you've sent it :'))) you are one of my favorite people ever, your presence always gives me comfort ❤️ li i love you from the bottom of my heart and i wish you the very best because that's what you deserve 🖤🌙

#🩷💖💕💓#asks #bday26

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taylor · 2 years

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loooong rambly post about my feelings, u can scroll past i've just gotta Vent

this is small but i unfollowed the guy i've been trying desperately to get over (on twitter only tho) and like, it's a small step but it's in the right direction (and also tbh if ur mutuals w someone on twitter and NEVER interact, and ur friends, it's kinda weird??? like NO interactions over the last 12 months, like what...)

idk, i'm not the kind of person that's just on call for this dude whenever he wants to get down and dirty, like i've gotta have more respect for myself than that.

and tbh, it's VERY telling when he'd interact with me in places others couldn't really see (DMs, discord, even tumblr) but on the more public places (twitter, sometimes instagram), it'd be diddly-squat except a like on an IG photo or something. it just hurts and kinda showed me he didn't want people in his real life (i.e. the girl i know he's had feelings for for a while) to see him interacting with me. (wonder why? - oh, i have a guess. probably because he liked that woman and didn't want her to see him talking to me since he's only romantically interested in her and not me...he basically told me as much 3 years ago when my DUMB FUCKING ASS told him i liked him....lololol)

i mean, i can't be mad at him that he doesn't like me back that way, i understand i can't fault someone who did in fact tell me in 2019 that he "didn't like me exactly like that" -- but i can put my foot down and not be accessible to him anymore in the FWB way we had. lmao

i'm just kinda rambling at this point and i certainly don't expect anyone to read this whole thing (or tbh any of it but i'm writing this mainly for me) but i've been carrying around the massive weight of this tormenting crush for almost FOUR fucking years, it's high time i put myself first. like there'd be times where he'd ignore me or not reply for months (which is fine, god knows i do that) but my issue came into play when he'd message me after his months-long hiatus like with the horniest shit ever. like okay you can't bother to wish me a fucking happy birthday (and i know he saw m like 50 stories bc he watched them immediately as i was posting them, so he knew it was my birthday lol), or reach out when you saw me about to be fired (again, i knew he saw the stories so this isn't me just reaching), or reach out when you saw i was in a depressive spiral (i don't need saving but it'd be nice to have someone check in on me SOMETIME...... BUT YOU CAN REACH OUT WHEN U WANT UR DICK WET???? that's the craziest part! he's got NO trouble triple or quadruple messaging me with his horny ass but can't be assed to wish me a happy birthday when he was basically viewing everything i posted that day starting pretty early. idk i just notice shit like that.

sorry sorry i just, i've realized i deserve more than this dude that i somehow convinced myself was "the one" due to how infatuated i'd become with him.

the person who loves me and that i love in return will inherently understand that i am NOT someone you can love quietly, i am not someone that you can just ignore until you're horny.

i'm choosing myself and i'm putting myself first and that started with me not replying to his last (pathetic) attempt to reach back out a few weeks ago (didn't even mention a late bday which tbh i'm not anal about birthday wishes on the ACTUAL day and usually a month after my bday is totally fine like i don't expect a day of, or anything - tho it'd be nice and he'd done it every year in the past besides this one) - and unfollowing him on twitter and removing him as my follower on there since he never liked or replied to anything i ever did (Which to me, and this is my personal opinion, was fucking WEIRD since he was active on there ALL the time).

it's still gonna take me a while to fully, truly get over him, but it's not fair to him to expect him to be someone he's not and clearly can't be - and it's not fair to me to keep pretending he's eventually going to change his ways. i hope he finds whatever the fuck it is he's looking for, but it's not with me.

it kinda feels good to have withdrawn from him. i doubt he'd put two and two together (i.e that his behavior and lack thereof was the reason i ended things) but maybe eventually later in life, he'll realize what a prize, what a catch, what a lover i could have been.

and by then? by then i'll be with someone who knows how to love me loudly and doesn't make me agonize over their actions.

(sidenote: he'd call me baby all the time, call me sexy, say shit like "Thank god for women, like thank god for you", and even tho I knew he was probably just saying shit, both of us knew i had at one point in time liked him - i never told him i still did and maybe he assumed as much...but like he'd be doing all this shit that made me doubt his original claim that he didn't have feelings for me. but now that it's been years and years i've realized he only wants me when it's convenient for him, and that doesn't work for me. it doesn't. i'm fucking done agonizing over whether or not he'd like my stuff or reply to me or whatever the fuck, like i'm just truly done at this point. if he wanted to, he would have, and it's as fucking simple as that)

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seesiderendezvous · 5 years

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#personal #k it's my bday today i had a nice day whatever #but i'm upset kinda!#this is all gonna be me complaining so please don't read if u don't wanna hear that or if u think it's annoying bc i get it it's annoying #but i need to put it somewhere and i have no irls on here so i don't have to deal with the consequences #but i just got the whole big college talk and i just feel shitty now! idk what i wanna do and everyone's acting like its my fault #i guess it kinda is but like?? u can't be nice about it?#i'm interested in history and want to major in anthropology and study ancient cultures #being an archaeologist is genuinely my dream job but that's not sustainable #that and being a musician but literally no fucking chance so i need to find smth realistic #short tangent i want to make music so. bad. like it's all i want and i love writing and singing but i'm not gonna make it so no #but archaeology? second and i want it so bad!!! it's so shitty how all i want is not sustainable #i'm just feeling rly hopeless right now #how does anyone ever make it it's so overwhelming especially for me because i feel like i have no direction at all #i don't want to do something that's completely useless but i'm just not interested in anything that has a good job market which is homophobi #i told myself i'd never teach but honestly if that's gonna allow me to do what i like then i might give in #but college level i fucking hate kids that's another story i could never teach children #but yeah. it all feels useless and like what am i even doing anything for at this point?? i've kinda accepted that my life is gonna b shitty #people who have their dream jobs: i want to be you and i'm so happy that ur happy share some of that #this is so fucking long and i'm sorry if you've read this

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transparentheartz · 2 years

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hello!! day 6 woo :D i just noticed how long our messages are and it makes me so happy awwww <3

hope you got your quizzes and other work done! i have 2/3 questions answered for a final paper which i'm surprisingly enjoying, it's on gender and queer theory which is soo interesting...

hopefully you'll make friends in your workplace tho! i met my best friend through work and she's literally one of my fav people so i hope you can find that!

omg i'm kinda scared of that bridge and intrigued!! i'm sorry to hear your anxiety makes being in cars with other people difficult, it must make long journeys so uncomfortable...

yeah i'm the same with my birthday, the only time i'll make a big deal out of it to my family bc it's all jokes yanno... i think my last 'party' was probably 14/15 too... i just have so many different friends and the idea of them all coming together makes me so anxious... too many conflicting ideals and personalities!!!

i mean you could still go out and not drink, even tho i know it's supposed to be a huge part of turning 21, just make sure you're comfortable!! i only really drink when i'm around people i'm comfortable with and even at that, i've never been pissed before. i hate the idea of losing control ahaha (just lil control freak me!!) yeah i do think alcohol tastes rotten tbh... i've a v sweet tooth so i tend to stuck with cocktails (hello pornstar martini) or just vodka and coke bc you can't really taste it! or there's this one cider that is soo sweet that i'll go for sometimes but don't force yourself to drink!

nameless nights was sooo good, it was one of the first ones i read! ahaha i can't imagining turning my irls into larries, my sister lectures me all the time about assuming L and H's sexuality (they're so loud, like idc they're not straight men!) and ugh. sounds like a dream!!

omg yay!! me too, although i haven't had time in soo long but i love reading, my fav genre is young adult, and within that i'll read fantasy contemporary dystopian, i'm not fussy! you read so fast wow!!! i love when you can escape with a good book! my fav atm is the daevabad trilogy by SA Chakraborty... absolute rollarcoster of emotions. an auto buy author for me is marie lu or beth o'leary!

enjoying talking to you so much!! have a great day <3

- your ss <3

hii! i know our messages are so long but i feel like i have so much more to say lol. honestly i love getting your messages, i always check to see if i have any new ones even though i know you only send one a day.

i finished all but one quiz, i still have a paper due in one class and three other papers due in another .. plus whatever is due this week so .. it’s gonna be rough especially bc i close every day this week for work.

which i’m currently writing this as i’m sitting outside my job for my shift to start. where do you work or what do you do? (don’t have to answer if not comfortable)

it can make long rides uncomfortable but really i sleep during super long rides. i have always loved sleeping in cars. when i was a baby i would fight sleep and cry and my mom would put me in the car and drive around the neighborhood and i’d fall asleep really easily lol.

it’s not just drinking either, i just genuinely don’t like being around big crowds or people i don’t know. and a bar or club will smell like alcohol and i hate the smell just as much as the taste. maybe i’ll try it idk. i mostly want to go to concerts for my bday.

i never talk about 1d or larrie with anyone irl. i’ve been a fan since 2011 and my best friend didn’t even know the extent to how much i love them and i’ve known her for like 7 years. idek how i turned her into a larrie, i think i mentioned it a few times cause something was happening in the fandom or something and then she went and did a deep dive of larry and now she’s obsessed and reads fics with me ! not only did i turn her into a larrie, i made her a bigger fan of 1d as a whole ;)

i like young adult , new adult and romance (cause like .. spicy scenes yk lol) i want to get into fantasy but it’s hard cause it’s just so much going into one book or series. i don’t have a auto buy author. before i buy books i have to read the first few chapters to see if i’ll like the writing style, characters, and stuff like that. i can never just see a book cover or read the synopsis and buy it off bat. if i see a cover or synopsis i like i’ll google it and read the preview of it.

questions for you :

do you have or want any pericings?

do you have any or want any pets?

do you like wearing makeup or going natural ?

hope you have/had a wonderful day :)

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