#i'm so mad at myself for not saving that thread and with the nature of twitter in general

[oldmyths]

Okay first of all i remember a couple years ago when a twitter thread was going around about artists that made really fucked up paintings and were huge horror iconography and everyone was sharing their favorite horror artists like goya and when i was scrolling through replies someone linked (?) to a thread where someone painted these detailed pieces but there was always at least one person looking directly at the viewer. like the concept was so fucking scary to me that i forgot to bookmark/like the tweet and i lost that thread forever and i really want to know who the artist was

#yelling into the abyss like HELLO! HELLO PLEASE! HELP ME PLEASE ! #i wish i could draw or show a rendition of the one i'm thinking of #it's like yellows and orangey reds as the background/central colors #it's three(?) people in a conversation set around a table maybe. they're close together. the painting is stylized (they all are #on various levels) and the two others have their eyes sort of closed and they're talking close with each other #the one man has a top hat on maybe. he's got the classic black and white suit on. and he's staring straight forward at the viewer #it's so WEIRD and eerie #like on first glance the pieces didn't affect me that much #but there was so many tweets in that thread it was just art piece after piece #of feeling stared at . i think there was one with just faces and everyone was looking at you #it was so. anyway! #i'm so mad at myself for not saving that thread and with the nature of twitter in general #it's probably gone forever. i searched literally the day after i saw the thread for it and couldn't find it #very sad about this #it would be really funny though if i imagined this whole thing. like that's not real at all and it's just a figment of my imagination #but it is real i know it is. because the thread had so many notes. i just didn't SAVE IT HRHRHGJNGCNJ

[lakesbian]

what... what happened to monster pulse...

>looking online for webcomics to read >find this one called monster pulse that has apparently already been completed and looks like it has an interesting premise >start reading >over the course of years of updates the art becomes better and better and the narrative improves significantly, the character dynamics are meaningful and nuanced and interesting, all of the plot threads come together really well over time and i have absolutely no memorable complaints with the writing >there's a funny april fool's update where the comic is briefly written as if it were a worse/more generic action strip with cheaper writing >the character i was kind of wishfully envisioning getting baby butch vibes from at the start of the story even begins actually dressing in boys clothes and her new design is really cute and endearing >suspicious at first because i've been burned before but her relationship to gender is well written >i have high hopes of lesbianism at first because she turns down a boy in a weirdgirl way but they even manage to sell me on her liking a boy because of a well-written conversation w/ her crush where she talks about liking being bald because she's just, like, completely outside of beauty and it's not something she has to worry about living up to she can just Be Herself >plot starts wrapping up and i'm like great all they have to do is stick a solid 7/10 on the landing and it's a highly recommendable webcomic >plot reaches fantastic natural endpoint 10/10 > > >IT KEEPS GOING >utterly merciless character assassinations one after another ive dedicated hours to this ive gotten so cheerful and hopeful about it and now i crumble into devastation as i announce each subsequent assassination i'm talking character arcs that spent the entire long ass webcomic being built up being entirely subverted out of fucking nowhere. it's like liveblogging an 80-car pileup. gnc girl has suddenly magically decided that actually she just needed to recognize that she could be beautiful even while bald and has put on a cartoonishly pink skirt and bunny hoodie. protagonist who has an incredibly complicated relationship to her heart monster goes from genuinely debating letting her die to "i wouldnt give her up for ANYTHING <333" power of friendship for no apparent reason. etc. etc. to quote myself in the moment "to be clear about the scope of fuckupery here they Character Assassinated the masc girl and it's actually only the third or fourth worst mistake." <- briefly after this message i bumped it down to Fifth worst mistake. character with her brain as her monster has an entire arc where the point is another character learning they can't "save" her from her monster because she is her brain/they need to think more carefully about what they perceive as the "real" her ends up concluding her arc by out of fucking nowhere saying "ive let my real self lie dormant" Et Cetera. >genuinely entirely reminiscent of the prior bad-on-purpose april fools strip but like unironically with no self awareness >never even adequately summarized what was wrong w it in a coherent write up because i was too mad to think about it for more than 3.4 seconds at a time >i hope the fences we mended. fall down beneath their own weight. and i h

#ask

[squirrelwrangler]

⭐️

Let's talk about Service to the Dead. And because I couldn't decide which part of chapter three I wanted hone in on, I'm going to bounce around the entire chapter for a slightly longer director's commentary. Don't feel like covering the entire chapter, but here's some odd thoughts:

Opening on the Beren fight scene was a nice strong opening, good job me. Also while I never outright said it, having ghost Aegnor and Gorlim watching the fight from the tree branches above was exactly supposed to make the reader think of vultures. Because that is the black comedy of this fic- Aegnor and Gorlim watching and waiting for Beren to die. But instead I use the metaphor of watching a puppet show. But Aegnor needs another option because I can't have Gorlim and Aegnor think of the same thing. So what's a Noldor equivalent? And Noldor are just every annoying obnoxious Victorian British scientist so the Greek philosopher street debate/bitter thesis defenses/street preacher but for grammar minutia.

Gorlim's inconstantly fading sensory issues as a constant thread, and for this chapter I was hammering home the loss of smell and how that would have helped to find the body at the end.

In the next scene I wrestled around with the hidden cabin and the geographic layout and how that led to Aegnor floating up phasing through the cliff/hillside. A lot of the ghost physics is cumbersome to write because I can't use modern technological turns of phrase. The cabin being dark and the two ghosts not turning on a light source because they can't. But also having the flies there was a direct mental link for myself to Aegnor's final speech at the end of the chapter when he talks about being a bug trapped in a bowl.

The evacuation from Dorthonion was something I thought about- and who stayed behind that wasn't just Barahir's designated group. Mount St. Helens was something that instantly came to mind because of my family who lives in Seattle and the year I lived up there too. But also that since almost my entire life I live or have lived in the hurricane zones of the coasts of North America and have lived through several hurricanes - I am very familiar with how natural disaster evacuations are piecemeal. So - Old Duras, the dead outlaw, the lost Easterling family. That each are distinct in their reasons and background. That Eilinel and Sícrum went missing in the scramble and that their physical disabilities were factors. I was keen to take the time to tangent off into that physically disabilities (that weren't just chopped off hands) existed and weren't limited to Noldor nobility and our one most exemplar mortal hero. The Easterling father and son are sent-up for Chapter 4 and the next Mad Noldor Ghost that repeats and escalates off of what happened in Chapter 2.

Beren running into and being saved by the mad trees is the Two Towers Ents and Hurons reference imagery it seems to be.

Radiation mutant hares and other wildlife was added for the creepy horror imagery and also because Morgoth's Ring does really imply Morgoth's evil taint on Arda Marred is element decay.

And Aegnor's impassioned long spiel at the end- the most fun to write, I loved that. And hammering home what delighted me in the Athrabeth - that Elven immortality is not actually immortality and that they see it reversed with the mortals. That they are zombies/trapped ghosts stuck in Arda and cannot escape to the afterlife like mortals do. That Gorlim's central character as the ghost that is stuck and cannot pass on and thus is tormented by this unnaturalness, loneliness, and partiality of experience is not unique to him; it is the condition of the elves as well and Aegnor feels this trapped nature most keenly because he wants more than anyone else to escape Arda to follow Andreth. That the world itself, Arda, is just a barrow and Aegnor is a barrowwight. He's haunting his grave and can't- nor emotionally won't- progress from it but is still wallowing in how inescapable his fate of elven 'immortality aka stuck inside Arda unlike mortality's gift' seems to be. That he's trying to be productive and proactive in this whole Maia of Mandos gig, but it doesn't actually address or solve his Andreth-shaped grief and regrets, he's just spinning that hamster wheel.

Which that quality of morass is why Gorlim's realization of the Andreth truth was delayed either though he has all the pieces to the mystery that was vexing him thanks to picking up on the tiny clues Aegnor kept dropping.

Also, there's the Numa Numa Song/Dragostea din tei reference again of which you'd only know if you knew what the Moldovan lyrics to that song were about. Which I picked as a funny reference easter egg for a pop love song. But also because 2004 when that song came out was the same year that I read HoME and learned about Aegnor/Andreth and fell into the OTP rabbithole. I was listening to it and other songs from that album at the same time I was reading A/A fics. Bet y'all never guessed there was a deeper personal meaning. And it turns out that those lyrics do match up- I'm an outlaw, I remember your eyes, you did not take me with you (initial reject was my fault), linden trees....

#meme replies #fic meme #service to the dead