#i'll take advice in mid-fight though if someone gives it

[harpy-of-the-storm]

Disorganized Thoughts - The Importance of Despair

For this post, I'd like to talk about despair as a powerful tool in storytelling, and one of the ways in which I've seen it effectively utilized.

Previously, I have discussed Phantasy Star Online and its usage of lyrical themes, so I think I'll take a step back in time from that point.

I want to talk about Phantasy Star IV: The End of the Millennium

Phantasy Star IV has a fairly standard high stakes JRPG story - if you don't win, the ancient darkness from before remembering will break free and kill everything. Profound Darkness hates all life, and will see it brought to ruin.

...But before that, you have some trials to overcome.

You are given a two-character party at first; Chaz Ashley, a rookie mercenary under the wing of Alys Brangwin, his bladed boomerang wielding mentor, world famous for her efficiency and ruthlessness.

As the game progresses, Chaz will catch up to Alys, and you'll pick up and drop a variety of other party members; not all of whom will get to meet Alys.

A turning point for seriousness in the game's plot comes when the main antagonist appears. Though you try to fight back, he is protected by a barrier you can't seem to penetrate.

This is a scripted sequence. Simply survive for a few turns, and he will cast Black Wave, calling the fight to an end.

Alys will leap in front of the attack, shielding the party and collapsing. She will come down with an incurable ailment that slowly drains her life away.

Your healing spells are useless. All you can do is think of a way to beat the man who did this - to defeat Zio, and his unbeatable barrier.

Of course, it's a JRPG. It turns out there's a wand you can grab which can nullify his omnipotent divine barrier of ultra power - patent pending the cessation of all life - and take him out like any other mid-grade baddie.

...It won't matter.

As soon as you lay hands on the artifact in question, you're met with a cutscene and hurry to Alys' bedside. You witness her last breath.

You bury her in the early morning light. Some of your party goes its separate ways to handle their own affairs.

There are three aspects that I think are important to this. Giving & Taking You were given true and honest hope that you could save Alys. It's very standard JRPG speak - find the important magic relic, kill the bad guy, save the party member at the last minute. This is not what happens. She dies before you can even attempt the rematch. You are given hope, and then it is unceremoniously ripped from your hands. Gameplay & Story Integration If you are gaining levels at a relatively average pace, the last piece of advice Alys gives to Chaz before the confrontation with Zio is that his swing is still too slow, and he's leaving himself wide open. The next ability Chaz will learn is Air Slash at level 13, which is a skill performed by slashing so fast that the air behind your blade is what is cutting the enemy forces. Remember the Growth Much later in the game, Chaz can obtain the ultimate magic attack, Megid. This is an ability used otherwise only the final boss - the emotional output of the user generates explosive force. However, to earn it, Chaz must prove his strength. But...not physically. He has to face an illusion of Alys in battle, and strike her down himself. As he despairs, he has to master his emotions and be willing to make the right choice. He has to say no to unlimited power. He has to know and believe he is strong enough to avenge her.

Chaz is someone who threw away fighting for the world. He doesn't think it's fair to ask him to raise his blade to save everyone and selflessly accept the loss of the people he cares for.

He's right. And he has given in to despair, as anyone of normal means would.

If you take this path - because obtaining Megid is optional - then it changes a bit of the meaning of Chaz rejoining the party. He's not here after having broken down, cried, and then decide to suck it up and not let the world fall because he walked out.

He's fighting for that one life that was so precious to him, he's willing to follow her last words to the end.

Carve out your own destiny.

And by making the player despair. By allowing us to see Chaz despair. By having him seem to train the speed of his swings just because that's the last thing Alys chastised him about.

By taking that grief and mastering it, if only for the time being.

...He becomes someone who walks towards the promising future.

He becomes the person, Alys always thought he could be, even if she isn't here to see him anymore. That single death became his daring hope.

Despair can be a weapon, too, if it's forged right.

#harpy scratchings #long post #phantasy star #phantasy star 4 #I think I lost the point somewhere along the way but it's disorganized thoughts for a reason #thank you for reading

[not-another-writing-blog]

Cloud Nine

Pairing: Alpha x reader

Warnings: fluff

Summary: Y/N is weirdly happy and everyone is wondering why

~~

“If there’s a prize, for rotten judgement, I guess I’ve already won that-”  You sing to yourself as you pull weeds in the garden, smiling as Michonne gives you a quizzical look. 

“Wow, (Y/N). Up at the crack of dawn, AND singing Disney. Something’s got you in a good mood. Since You’re so cheerful, would you mind helping Carol with canning this afternoon?” You smile back, as Michonne smirks at you, and shrug your shoulders.

“Sure! I’d love that!” Your voice is an odd sort of perky, and you hear her sigh softly. “Let me finish pulling these weeds, and then I’ll head over to the canning center. I can watch Judith and R.J. this afternoon if you like.”

“Sure.” Michonne rolls her eyes. “What did you eat for breakfast anyway? I need your energy today.”

You finish in the garden, singing to yourself the whole time, as you dust your hands off on your jeans. Your mind is reeling, part of you still in the forest under the stars, the leaves tangling in your hair as you fall asleep wrapped in Alpha’s arms. You are so in love with that woman, and after last night, well, you don’t think anything could put a damper on your increasingly good mood.

“They say time take its toll on a body Makes a young girl's brown hair turn gray Well, honey, I don't care, I ain't in love with your hair And if it all fell out, well, I'd love you anyway They say time can play tricks on a mem'ry Make people forget things they knew Well, it's easy to see it's happenin' to me I've already forgotten every woman but you Oh, darlin', I'm gonna love you forever Forever and ever, amen” 

“(Y/N)!” You stop mid song, realizing that you nearly slammed straight into Daryl, who glares at you fighting a smile. “What’s got into you today? You aint never like this.” You just shrug, turning back towards the house, opening the door and greeting Carol with a big grin.

“Hey! I’m here to help with canning! By the way, isn't it crazy? It’s nearly lunchtime. Wow! The day has just FLOWN BY!” You giggle girlishly, and twirl around like a Disney princess, earning a laugh from Carol.

“Oookay. Sure. Take it down a couple notches though (Y/N). You’ve got just a bit too much perky today.” Carol says as she takes out the jars and hands you a knife and cutting board, motioning to the peaches over in the barrel. 

The hours fly by, and Carol is surprised by how fast you work, and less pleasantly surprised by exactly how many Disney and Country songs you know the words to. By the time you’re done, you’ve treated her to nearly every Disney love song in your repertoire, and  a great many country songs as well. She’s spent the entire time trying to figure out why you’re so happy, and how you can possibly be glowing as brightly as you are. 

She lets you go earlier than expected, not at all surprised when you spend your bit of free time laying on the grass under the shadiest of the shady trees, dreamily staring up into the branches with a love sick grin on your face. 

“I can talk to you all night Somethin' about you feels like home Even if you said goodbye, you'd make it sound good But I hope you don't 'Cause I wanna get to know you, Take me down every road that brought you to me, yeah Come on get a little closer I wanna know everything, everything Are you from Louisiana, Mississippi, The coast of Georgia, the Heart of Dixie Wherever it is, girl it gets me Drunk on you like a fifth of whiskey My heart beats fast when you talk slow, Slower than a sunset in Tupelo And if you're sayin' anything at all I'll stand right here and fall For your southern drawl” 

“Hey!” You jump a mile when Lydia sits down beside you, rolling her eyes at you as you realize you’d been twirling your hair around your finger as your other hand absentmindedly pulled grass stems up by their roots. “Singing about someone...special?” She gives you a teasing grin, and you shake your head, still intently watching the sun, wishing you could command the night to come, so you could sneak off to be with the one you love.

“Yeah.” You answer honestly, not wanting to give anything away to Alpha’s smart daughter. 

“Who is she?” Lydia asks, and you shake your head. “Come ON (Y/N), you’ve got to tell me.” She’s blossomed since she’s been here, and it has been good for her. She’s fitting in and becoming more confident, which also means she’s no longer afraid to pester you with questions.

“I’m not telling.” You answer, humming softly under your breath. To your delight, the sun is closer to setting, and you are completely hooked on staring at its slow descent behind the tree line.

“Sun aint gonna set any faster with you staring at it.” Lydia teases, tossing a handful of grass at you, when you roll your eyes. “Word of advice, instead of squeezing through the gap in the rails, try the trick woodpile. You’ll get there faster, and nobody patrols there during guard change” Her voice is low, and you stare at her in surprise. “Oh, and by the way, your answer is Alabama. Tuscaloosa, Alabama.” She smirks, as she stands up. 

“How’d you know?” You ask, dumbfounded, staring at her with an expression of shock.

“You come back smelling like that perfume she still sprays on her bedroll. Grinning and singing really cheesy love songs. I think it’ll be good for Mom, to have someone like you. Maybe you can help her. Make her human again.”

“I hope so.” You smile, thankful for Lydia’s approval. “I really do love her.”

“You better be careful, or everyone’s going to know that.” She smirks as you stand, heading over to the false woodpile, glad to see that the sun is setting. Your heart practically soars at the thought of being back with your beloved.

~~

Written by @thankyoualexkingston-blog 💕

#alpha twd #alpha imagines #alpha x reader twd #alpha #the walking dead x reader #the walking dead imagines #the walking dead

[hollyhomburg]

(Its bun bun, but this is pretty long so it might be split into a couple asks) So there's this guy, I'll call him X. X and I have tons of mutual friends so for the past two or three years we've been around each other a lot. Back in like February, we started going out. Nothing much, just little trips to the cinema, once a month, sometimes twice.

That went on for a couple months, but I broke it off because I'm a huge chicken when it comes to commitment and I felt that we were getting serious. I told X that, I said that I just didn't know if I could do that. X didn't seem too upset when I ended things between us(or so i thought). About a week later one of X's friends texted me out of the blue and said that I had broken X's heart. He said that X really did love me. I don't really believe in love though...Anyway, I'm not sure why, but a couple weeks after that I texted X and said I was sorry. I tried to explain why I broke up with him better because he was confused. After a couple days of talking, and many of my flaws being exposed, he seemed okay. I didn't talk to X for a month or two after that, it just felt awkward... I can't remember exactly when, but maybe mid-August, we got back together. We went out several times. In October we went out for a fancy date. It was amazing, I had so much fun. X smiled so much and it made me so happy. After that date though, X got a little distant. It started taking him a lot longer to get back to me if I texted/called him, he didn't want to go out. X is a busy guy, so I thought he was just swamped lately and I didn't push anything. There were no noticeable red flags. I was happy, I thought X was happy... A couple days into November, X texted me one night while I was at dinner with my family and said 'it's over' 'we're done'. I honestly felt like crying Lee... Maybe I didn't love X, but I still wanted to be with him. I left dinner early that night, and on the way home I cried a bit. I got home around 11 and fell asleep on the couch. I haven't talked to X since then, but I miss him.. I don't want to be a bother though. I want to at least ask him why, but I'm afraid he'll just get angry.. Leeeee what should I do???? ~🐇

I've been the girl that’s texted regardless on if I got a response twice before. once for my first boyfriend (broke my heart that one) and the second to Shane- because I couldn't believe that I was hurt by our breakup when I never really loved him like you never really loved X. (i think I loved him, just maybe not in the way he loved me, and I wasn't in love with him) 

retrospectively, a few months after I’m no longer in contact with Shane, I can give you some okay advice I think. God I wish I hadn't messaged him afterward-  because I made myself more vulnerable, and I got nothing out of it, no resolution, no closure, besides hurting myself further. It wasn't worth it because we were already done, already past saving, and I just couldn't see it. 

I don't like talking about dignity, because generally, it’s for people who care too much what other people think. but it does affect how we perceive ourselves I think. So save your dignity for someone who deserves it. you don’t ask for someone you really love,  you fight for someone who you really care bunbun, don't waste your heart on the people who won't mean anything to you in a few months. just keep him as a friend, you’ll be better like that. 

[roxytheimmortal]

Eric x Reader

Eric p.o.v.

This year of recruits look wimpy except for one boy with h/c hair and blue eyes. He was rather buff but not extremely his name is Ace, he was the first to jump and he's candor. We'll just see how he does then. First we'll do is try there endurance, work them all to the breaking point. We did exactly that mostly all the initiates were exhausted even dauntless born except for Ace and a few others I can count by hand. The boy doesn't even look like he broke a sweat. "How........ are you........ not......... tired?" One of the initiates asked Ace who just shrugged "this is child's play if you have a mom like mine she made me hold myself up by my pinky" he said ". Then we tested accuracy and instead of throwing it by the handle Ace threw it by holding the edge of the knife. "You initiate go get your knives" I told him, he just looked at me then walked towards it yanking them out while the other initiates were throwing knives with no sense in accuracy at all like nothing. I grabbed a knife and aimed it to his enough to hurt him a bit; it was inches away but he grabbed it mid flight walked over and handed back. He reminds me so much of.......

~~flashback~~

I was looking over the new recruits to see their throwing skills. Even though they were all doing miserably except one. Even though she is extraordinary but she holds it by the edge instead

His fighting skills were extrodinary no wonder he's number one just like she was. That night I decided to take a walk since I couldn't sleep; while walking I saw Ace and another dauntless talking she hugged and kissed his forehead then sent him back to the initiates dorm. She started to walk away till I called her. "Hey dauntless you know having relationships with initiates are forbidden" I told her to which after a few minutes of silence made her giggle "yet that never seemed to stop us" she said turning around to only revealed she was the person I tried to keep out my head for so long. Y/N and she hasn't aged a day.

"Hello Eric nice to see you again" she said smiling at me "w-what are you doing here?" I asked her getting closer "I came to check on my son and see where he ranking" she said which made me stop walking and my heart to hurt. "Son? Since when do you have a son?" She walked over to me and rested her hand on my cheek "damn you haven't aged a day you still look the same except your buffer and your eyes are colder than before" she said but I still couldn't fathom how she has a son. "How do you have a son?" I asked pulling away roughly. She sighed annoyed while putting her hands on her hips "when two people like each other very very much they do this thing called-" but I knew where she was going with this "I know exactly how their made" I growled out. I would have continue if I didn't hear foot steps heading our way and I sure as hell not done with conversation so I grabbed her by her forearm and dragged her back to my apartment I pushed her in a locked the door behind us. "This reminds me of old times except we are usually half naked at this point" she said "who's the father?" I asked angry, she's mine and only mine. "You haven't figured it out yet?" She questioned me leaning against the bed. I pushed her on and straddling her while holding her hands above her head "your mine do you understand and I refuse to believe that you had someone else's kid so I'll ask you one more time who's the father?" I said looking at her straight in the eyes. "You are" she said

Y/n p.o.v.

"You are" I finally told him and the look on his face was adorable it was between in awe, suprised, proud and disbelief. "Mine?" He asked "I wouldn't lie darling I'm still candor" I told him as I sat up cause now he was pacing and let me tell you I have NEVER seen him seen him pace. "Does he know I'm his father?" He asked "I never denied you ever of being his dad" I told him "then why hasn't he confronted me about it?" He said finally sitting down "he knows you didn't know so he wanted to become a dauntless with the best rankings first before telling you who he was so you can be proud of him and those were his exact words" I told him taking off my beanie and jacket. "I was both scared and happy when he told me he got dauntless" I told him looking out the window "scared I wouldn't see him again, scared he wouldn't make it even with my training because I know how training with you is and scared you wouldn't accept him but happy cause I know how much he wanted to meet you and make you proud he's a smart boy like you" I said without looking. I felt warm arms sliding around my waist. He turned me around and his blue eyes held so much love towards me like it did so many years ago. "How can I not accept him?" He said looking at me "because I heard you say you would never have children" I said as I whimpered a little with tears in my eyes. "I said that before falling for you completely" he said gripping me tighter and pulling me closer. "Will you continue to treat him the same so he doesn't suspect you know he might get angry with me he has your temper" I whispered the last part which made him chuckle. "What else does he have from me?" He asked as he picked me up and threw me on the bed "your looks, your brains, obviously your gorgeous eyes, your scary demeanor do you know how much girls come to me asking if our son likes them or if I can hand him the gifts they got him and it wasn't just Candor girls he attracted them all and each and everyone one came to me with gifts or asking for advice after like three weeks I started to just carry a suit case it was worse when he got his piercing" I told him while he took his shirt off which got him to laugh. I wanted to look at his face but his abs were staring me down.

Eric p.o.v.

My son sounds like a heartthrob which makes me sorta proud. "Did he date any of them?" I asked looking up at her to see she was on her knees on the bed biting her lip shaking her head. She use to do that back then to, it's like nothing change. I climbed on a kissed her fiercely which she returned.

~time skip by Rihanna cause Eric made you feel like the only girl last night 😉~

When I woke up I can no longer feel her warmth beside me. I sat up to see her stuff is gone and a note on the pillow beside me.

Dear Eric,

If you read this letter and woke up when I think you did, I'm probably just about half way out. I had fun last night (like always) and I hope you know you'll be seeing more of me cause now I have another reason to come here. I'm so getting yelled at when I get home, I guess it happens when your father is head of Candor. Ugh fuck my life!!! But I don't regret it. Take care and rain hell like you usually do.

Yours truly,

Y/n

I reread it over then hid it. She came three times a week just so she doesn't get caught. Three months later Ace came to me. "My mom said she knows you and wanted me two give you this" he said handing me a note while looking at me curiously "you got something else to say initiate?" I asked him coldly, not because I want but because I promised Y/n I'd be till he becomes full dauntless which is tomorrow and honestly I can't wait. He's been doing excellent still number 1 know matter what he's doing. "No sir" he said before walking away. I looked at the cryptid letter that we used to send each other back then. It only as three words. 'It's a girl'

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If your wondering you got kicked out of dauntless because you and Eric had a thing going on while you were an initiative and that was forbidden but you two didn't let that stop you, but you got caught and kicked out. You were also adopted by the head of Candor as a baby so he let you back in, but you found out your were pregnant and raised the child in both Candor ways at day and dauntless ways at night for his protection.

#divergent #eric x reader