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#i'll focus on finishing my english class. hopefully in december even if i have the possibility to get it extended a few months
silenthillbunni
·
7 months
Text
🚬🧸🧃🎀
#anyway so yeah im so sick of hating myself. of missing out on things and being too scared to go after things i want when i have the chance
#so sick of almost being 25 and having spent almost 6 years alone in my room missing out on life
#and my mom and sister might be moving in the not too distant future
#so i have to try to get my life together for real now!!! or homelessness will be awaiting me :D
#what i will try to do.. is start going to the gym (w my mom so i dont have to deal w the anxiety of an unknown place by myself sksk)
#i'll workout 3-5 times a week. every week. i like going to the gym so if i just get started i dont have a doubt i'll not be able to do it
#i'll focus on finishing my english class. hopefully in december even if i have the possibility to get it extended a few months
#then i'll start my other 4 classes in january
#i'll be patient and wait for my ultrasound and get the gallstone situation fixed (latest in january if i need surgery)
#(and i have to try to make sure i eat properly so i dont wind up with b12 deficiency... i cant eat anything without pain but i have to..)
#also i have an appt at the psychiatric in mid october. and im still waiting on what my healthcare center says. hopefully i can get cbt
#if possible i will really really try to apply for jobs as a personal assistant sometime between january-may
#if i have a job instead of being on wellfare i will 1) have way more money 2) not feel constabtly anxious abt being rejected and homeless
#i'll stop caring abt me being 'old' and a late bloomer. the planet is dying. who cares if im 28 and start university????
#i'll take my time to finish high school. and the thing is i really should get a job before starting higher vocational education
#bc the program i want to start i HAVE to have a laptop. and theres no way i can afford that now. cant even save up to it
#also need to find and put myself up on waiting lists for student housing/apartments so i can actually move
#i hate this city and i need to get the fuck out of here!!!!
#but the world is crazy rn and it's super hard to find places to live and find jobs but it's not impossible so i need to try
#i cant live like this & i have no idea how tf i'll manage to be a normal person and have a life but i need to try bc what else am i gnna do?
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