#i'd also be fine with aerith dying again

[kazumahashimoto]

one thing i've been thinking about vis a vis zack's kazu esque status is like. and i feel like i'd have to give all the crisis core cutscenes another rewatch to fully confirm this. but i think, generally speaking, a lot of people blow zack's facade out of proportion. and it's funny because it was that "zack fair is TIRED of this BULLSHIT" video that got me thinking about it but i watch that video and i'm like yknow. kazu would never do any of this. and sure, "kazu esque" is a completely arbitrary classification i made up for characters i enjoy, but the whole "zack is secretly really sad" thing is a concept i see people dig into a lot. a lot more than i think zack actually does it himself. zack is a spunky happy go lucky guy yes, but he also gets annoyed easily and he never shys away from expressing that. when sephiroth tells him the higher ups don't want him going on a mission because they're worried his personal feelings will get in the way of obeying orders, he says, "well of course!". he's not masking anything for anyone by this point. i don't think he's masking for aerith either, not with his bravado and not to hide his discontent. a HUGE difference in this to me is to look at some of their lowest points. for kazu, when he gets found out, and for zack, when angeal dies. kazu did not seek out his friends. not once. not even slightly. the only reason anything even happened was because saku noticed he was slipping up in his performance. kazu never intended any of them to find out about anything, not after he decided he needed to keep this up in order to hold himself together. but he fell apart, and they noticed, and they helped. kazu does not hug haru back in this moment, and he never asked him to come. zack on the other hand, GOES to aerith. we don't see zack explain to her what happened, he sits in the middle of the church with his back faced to her, crying. he does not hug aerith back, but he still reached out. aerith didn't find HIM, he found HER. kazu would not have done that.

zack's facade isn't something that comes into effect until after nibelheim, and it's only ever to cloud. emphasis on AFTER NIBELHEIM. zack is a friendly guy, i don't think any of their interactions before this were built on trying to. idk keep up the rose tinted idea cloud had in his head of what soldiers were like. and in nibelheim, when cloud prods, zack tells him outright how he feels. zack is angry, he's upset, he's confused, oh but he's a soldier so who cares, he's just paid to hit stuff, not ask questions. he TELLS cloud this. it's only after all they went through in the mansion's basement that zack starts putting up a front, and again, just for cloud. when he sees genesis, lazard, cissnei, he's still just as angry and upset as he was before. he just keeps the smile on for cloud, and maybe himself too in a way. to hold onto normalcy. and so because of this, perhaps because it's how his character goes out, smiling, despite it all, this is were people decide he would continue being if he lived. idk that that's true though!!! like honestly i don't think The Facade was actually that big of A Thing for zack. he smiles and pats his head and makes sure to tell cloud how things are going great whenever he's around, because jesus christ!!! cloud is dying!!!!! cloud is POISONED!!!!!!! he didn't lie to cloud about how fucked shit was when cloud was FINE, but cloud is barely conscious, you think zack is gonna be venting his frustrations to his sick friend?? no!!! he's gonna sit there and smile and tell him everything is gonna be okay!!!! and i don't think that would carry over for long, if zack lived. i mean especially not to cloud, who would absolutely call him on his bullshit. so anyway. my point. i feel like, above all the other arbitrary traits on my kazu esque list, masking all emotions and having a facade is, to me, the most defining of what makes a character kazu esque. and so while YES, i think there are other traits i would classify zack being kazu esque for, i feel like THIS trait in particular regarding zack is one blown WAYYYY out of proportion. zack doesn't actually hide how he feels all that much, he's just a nice guy who also has the capacity to get upset about things. he's multidimensional and he shows that. so. a zack/kazu parallels dissertation may or may not happen, we'll see!

#had to add a paragraph break because it was beyond word limit. lol! #i do have some thoughts on parallels that COULD be drawn especially regarding kazusaku but we'll see!! #words #longpost #ff #cheer danshi #kazu