#i was gonna add the 'kamek is bowser's dad' tag for this

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

Inky Soup for the Soul

Rating: Teen and Up Audiences Characters: Kamek, Kammy Relationships: Kamek & Kammy Tags: Sickfic, Bickering, Arguing, Frenemies, neither of these two end the fic having a good time tbh, Sicktember 2023

Summary: A few days after Kammy visits a sick Kamek, it’s Kamek’s turn to visit a sick Kammy. This visit goes even more poorly than the last one. Prompts: 3. "What happened to your phenomenal immune system, huh?", 7. “You’re a Jerk When You’re Sick”, 23. Coughing Fit Word Count: 1,444 words

Note: The events immediately preceding this fic are detailed here, and the events that immediately follow are detailed here.

[AO3 Link]

~~~

"What happened to your phenomenal immune system, hm?"

Propped up against the headboard of her bed, Kammy looked up from the book her eyes were too tired to read. “Don't put words in my mouth, you asshole,” she spat, voice hoarse.

Kamek swept into her quarters, a smug air about him. While he still was a bit pale from his own bout of sickness, he looked leagues better than Kammy did at the current moment, which to her, the objectively prettiest person in this castle, was both infuriating and humiliating in equal measures.

“What the fuck are you doing here?”

“Am I not allowed to return the favor of your visit the other day?” Kamek’s voice oozed with false concern as he approached her bedside.

Ugh. Consequences.

“Oh, but where are my manners?” Kamek continued, waving his wand. “I didn't come here empty-handed, after all!”

A bowl floated in the air and settled in Kammy’s lap. It was warm. It was soup. Her nose was too stuffed to smell it, yet she could tell Kamek had at least bothered to get a flavor she didn't hate. As she examined the soup, Kamek watched her expectantly. Kammy sneered at him. “How do I know you didn't poison this?”

“Why I never!” Kamek put a hand to his chest in mock offense. “I’ve never poisoned anything in my life!”

“I seem to remember a rather important poisoning you did a few decades ago.”

“That was your poison,” Kamek sniffed, “that you made. I just delivered it.”

“Bah.” Kammy looked down at the soup. She should eat it. But the effort of lifting her leadened arms didn't seem worth expending right now.

Kamek smirked. “If you need assistance —”

On spite alone, Kammy mustered the energy to shove a spoonful of soup into her mouth. Kamek’s smirk didn't budge at the scowl she made around her spoon.

It only took a few more spoonfuls before Kamek opened his stupid mouth again. “I also bring news from Lord Bowser!” he said.

“Let me guess. The project is canceled.”

“The project is postponed!” Kamek corrected, smarmy grin on his face. “Until further notice!”

Great. Kammy took a cranky bite of her soup. And Kamek will probably be back at the helm of it, because he was the healthier one. Kammy huffed. It had been worth a shot, she supposed.

Kamek was still standing there watching her. “Why are you still here?” Kammy scowled. “Aren't you finished making my day the worst I've had in months?”

“But how can you say that” — Kamek reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper — “when the Young Master drew this especially for you!”

Kammy took it from him, squinting at the haphazard scribbles of color. ”What the fuck is this supposed to be?”

“I was told it was you, with your crystal ball.”

“Hmph.” Kammy glared at her likeness. She definitely wasn't that fat.

“It’s surely fridge-worthy, isn't it?”

“It’s certainly garbage worthy.”

“Oh? You're not going to add it to that locked box you have hidden under your bed?”

Kammy stilled. “...why do you know about that.”

“Same way you know about the hidden panels in my desk.” Kamek crossed his arms. “You really need to change those wards of yours; those outdated protections could be cracked by an infant!”

“Bold of you to say, hypocrite. Have you even noticed where those magazines of yours had gone off to?”

“...which magazines.”

“Oh you know.” Kammy regarded him lazily. “Those ones.”

Kamek regained his composure faster than Kammy would’ve liked. “W-well,” he said, fiddling with his glasses. “I found a chest in a panel in your dresser a while ago,” he blurted out, and as Kammy’s face flipped from smug to stormy Kamek barreled on, leaning in closer to her with a smirk. “Wooden, right? Pink with glitter and lace? Not really something that matches your usual style, I'll have to admit.”

“You...!” Kammy growled, low and dangerous.

“Me!” Kamek sang. “It's a shame you're in no shape to get up and check on it. I might have taken a few souvenirs; who knows!”

The drawing in Kammy’s hands crumpled in her grip. “You're bluffing.” He had to be. But in her sickened haze, she wasn't as sharp at reading his tells.

Kamek seemed to realize this too, and the glint in his glasses was almost gleeful. “There was a lot of paper in there. Quite the flammable little display,” he remarked, idly inspecting his claws, and no. No, he couldn't have actually —

“You fucking bastard!” Kammy swiped at him with her spoon; her swing went wide, and Kamek danced out of range, cackling. “You’re bluffing,” she hissed, hating the way it came out less like she was calling his bluff and more like she was trying to convince herself he was bluffing in the first place. “You didn't see shit! And if you put your filthy hands all over my clothes I’m going to rip them off and shove them up your —!”

Kammy’s voice caught in her throat. She tried to breathe past it, but the rest of her threats were lost to coughs and coughs and coughs. Coughs that very quickly had her head spinning, bent double over the bowl of soup that hadn't spilled a drop despite all her movement. The foresight required for casting the correct charms for such a thing compounded by the helplessness from the coughing fit and Kamek’s supposed invasion of her privacy had her clawing at her bedding in frustration.

When she could finally take in ragged gasps she could actually control, she unscrewed her eyes and saw Kamek watching her with something close enough to pity lurking behind his hideous-looking glasses that Kammy saw red. She bared her teeth at him and threw her spoon as hard as she could.

“Hey!” Kamek ducked, the spoon spinning through the space where his head just was and clattering against the far wall. “You know,” he groused, “you’re a real bitch when you’re sick.”

“Evidently not enough of one,” Kammy snapped, voice crackling and thinning, “considering you’re still here. Get out!”

Kamek hesitated.

“And give me back my damn spoon,” Kammy added, so he had something to do that wasn’t looking at her like that...!

As was his specialty, Kamek did as he was told. He absently wiped the spoon clean on his robes once it was in his hand, a without-a-second-thought motion that soured Kammy’s mood further. Did this fool know how to do anything but coddle?

“Well!” Kamek rolled his eyes. “I can tell when I'm not wanted —”

“Can you?”

“— so I suppose I’ll take my leave.” He ignored Kammy’s interruption, setting her spoon on the bed. “I’ve got much more important things to do than waste time with you, after all, like actually doing my job and enjoying the ability to breathe through both nostrils simultaneously.”

Kammy waited until he was almost at the door before she spoke again. “While you’re doing that,” she drawled, knowing this would be the last thing her throat would let her say for a good while, “tell me if the air under the King’s desk still smells the same, will you?”

Kamek’s head whipped around so fast it was a shame he didn't snap his own neck. Kammy stared back at him, chin high and bored expression settled on her face. His enraged sputtering was a balm to her soul; his wand arm even twitched as if he was briefly considering outright violence. But faced with Kammy’s unflinching gaze, all he could do was grind his teeth and storm out of her room, slamming the door behind him with a loud bang. The noise nudged at her budding headache, but it was worth it. Peace and quiet at last.

Basking in her success, Kammy turned her attention back to her soup. It was still warm; another charm on the bowl keeping it that way. Her earlier resentment rose up again, but it was swiftly quashed by the growling of her stomach. Absently, she reached for where Kamek had put her spoon. Less absently, she strained to grab it, claws failing by a mere hair’s breadth to brush the cool metal no matter how far she stretched. That rotten, good for nothing —!

Kammy screamed, a near soundless noise that ended in a few more coughs as she fell back onto her pillows. She stared up at the ceiling, blowing the bangs off her face with a huff. They fell right back where they were. She sank further into her bed, hands over her face. If only the Stars would put her out of her misery right now...!

#this fic is all sharp edges haha #i like to think i have range~ #mlv.fic #smb #super mario #kamek #kammy koopa #sicktember 2023 #i was gonna add the 'kamek is bowser's dad' tag for this #but that's only relevant to the last line of dialogue so... :)

[mrs-luigi-vargas]

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Super Mario & Related Fandoms Rating: General Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Bowser/Luigi Characters: Bowser, Luigi, Kamek, Peach, Mario Additional Tags: Crushes, Terms of Endearment, Humor, Fluff, Bowser is oblivious, he gets there eventually tho

As a stopgap to manage the crush he’s hiding, Luigi's been calling Bowser Italian terms of endearment when he thinks he can't hear him. Luckily for him, Bowser doesn't know Italian. Unluckily for him, Bowser is stubborn enough to seek out a translation anyway.

Excerpt under the cut:

Shooed out of the castle after spending the past few days buried in paperwork, Bowser found himself at a shopping center less than an hour’s flight away. He was at a toy store to be precise, because he figured if he was already out then he might as well pick something up for Junior to apologize for being MIA for a while.

As he reached for the action figure that had caught his eye, though, a gloved hand entered his vision, reaching for the same thing. The gloved hand was attached to a green arm attached to Luigi, who looked mildly surprised to see him.

“Back off, Greenie, this is mine!” Bowser snapped, snatching it off the shelf.

Luigi put both his hands up in surrender. “You can have it!” he said, amused. “It’s for Junior, right? That’s who I was gonna buy it for, anyway.”

“Trying to get more cool points with Junior than his own dad?” Bowser raised an eyebrow and scoffed. “I see how it is. Well, you don't even have a chance, even if you’re traveling a whole kingdom over for it.”

“Yeah, it was pretty far just for that toy,” Luigi replied, rubbing his hand on his arm with a weak smile. “The drive was nice, though.”

“Of course it was, this is my kingdom we’re talking about here!” Literally any view was better than the boring green-green-green in the Loser Bros’ neck of the woods.

Toy for Junior acquired, Bowser went to the front to pay for it. It took about five steps to notice Luigi trailing behind him. “What, you bored or somethin’?” He smirked. “Or is it that you just can't get enough of me?”

“I —!” Luigi almost tripped on his own two feet in surprise. Bowser rolled his eyes. You’d think they’d talked enough times for him to be less nervous...eh, who was he kidding. Luigi was always nervous about something. (Although the blushing was new. Another weird Greenie quirk to add to the list, he supposed)

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#bowser #luigi #bowuigi #bowser x luigi #luigi x bowser #mlv.fic #smb #super mario #i dont usually write romance so this was fun