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captainsbabysitter-blog · 6 years

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I Couldn’t Leave Him Ch2

First Chapter Here

Characters/Pairings: Christopher Pike/Philip Boyce, James T. Kirk

Rating: Uh… Well Phil kinda swears a decent amount in this one, as you might imagine, so Teen?

Length: 1746 words

Summary: Chris meets Jim’s foster mother and caseworker then Phil loses his goddamn mind because why wouldn’t he?

~*~*~*~

The meeting was a little awkward, to say the least. Neither Renee nor Alex, Jim’s caseworker, were expecting Jim to show up to the house with a random stranger. Chris had to admit that it probably seemed a little creepy, but he wasn’t really sure how else to go about it. He stood off to the side as Jim made the introductions and offered up a small smile and a shrug when Alex eyed him critically.

“You do realize how odd this seems?” She asked cautiously. “Appearing out of nowhere declaring you want to adopt him?”

“I’m very aware, but well… I don’t really know how this works, and he mentioned he was meeting with you today, so I guess I figured you’d be the person to talk to.”

Alex glanced at Jim and couched to be closer to his height. “I think you and I should chat in private. How about it?”

Jim agreed and let himself be led off, leaving Chris and Renee, a tired-looking woman who sighed and gestured toward the kitchen. “Would you like some coffee?”

“Coffee sounds good.”

When they were settled at the kitchen island with a couple mugs, Renee took a long pull from hers before finally asking, “How did you meet Jim? And when?”

“I was a guest professor at Drake this past week. He was there for my open lecture on Monday, and I sat and talked with him a while afterward. When I found out he didn’t plan on going back to school or at least back here, I let him sit in on my classroom lectures.”

Chris rubbed at the back of his neck a bit and sighed. “I probably should have just called in a truancy officer or something, but he just seemed like he needed someone to talk to. Anyway… He’s spent all week playing chess with me and sitting in on my lectures and I’ve grown attached.”

She nodded slowly as she absorbed everything Chris was saying. Overall, she didn’t seem like a terrible parent, but from the sounds coming upstairs, she had her hands full. A flash of guilt crossed her face. “I’m afraid I haven’t been able to give him the attention he deserves at his age. He really is a very bright boy.”

He remembered all too well how overwhelmed a foster parent could get with a bunch of kids running around. Still, it was easy to see where Jim would translate that into not being wanted. They sat in companionable silence until Alex came back in with Jim.

“Mister… Pike, was it?” When he nodded, she continued, “Despite how… Unorthodox this whole series of events has been, I would like you to come back to my office with me. We’ll begin the paperwork and find you an orientation meeting closer to your home. Jim mentioned that you’re currently living in Boston?”

“Yes. My fiancé and I share an apartment there.”

“Very well. If you’ll follow me back to the DHHS building, we’ll get things sorted out. Jim, I meant it when I said no more skipping classes.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he mumbled. His face turned up toward Chris with hope sparkling behind his eyes. “I’ll see you soon?”

“I’ll tell you what… I have to fly back to Boston on Sunday, but if Renee is okay with it I’ll come back tomorrow and we can go get lunch.”

Jim turned pleading eyes on his foster mother who gave them both a small smile and nodded. “Alright. We’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

By the time he got back to his hotel room after meeting with Alex, Chris felt an intense dread settle in his gut. In all the excitement, he hadn’t even thought to check in with Phil. This wasn’t going to be a fun conversation. He sat on the edge of his bed and stared at the series of texts they’d exchanged during their week apart. Mostly good mornings and good nights with the occasional reminder from Chris to eat something more solid than coffee. He’d mentioned Jim when they actually talked on Wednesday, but nothing about his random whim adoption plans.

He couldn’t put it off forever, so he finally sighed and just pressed the button, putting the phone to his ear and waiting. The warm, “hey, sexy,” fortified him.

“Hey sweetheart… How’s studying going?”

“It’s going. I almost feel like I won’t fail horribly.”

“You’ll be the smartest person in that room and you know it,” he chuckled before sobering up a bit. “Hey Phil…?”

“What’d you do, Christopher?” Of course he knew Chris’ tones by now.

“Remember that kid I was telling you about? Jim?” A noise of confirmation prompted him to continue, “I did something you’re not gonna be happy about. I asked him if he’d be alright with me adopting him. And I met with his caseworker to get started on paperwork.”

“You. Did. What?”

Instead of answering, Chris let Phil process everything. He knew if he tried to say anything else, it would just dig him in a deeper hole. Despite common misconception, he was capable of realizing when he should keep his mouth shut.

“Let me get this straight. You, without any input from your fiancé, a man you’ve been with going on almost five years now, began the process of adopting a child you’ve known for exactly five days. While your aforementioned fiancé is attempting to study for his board exam, no less. Does that sound about right to you, Christopher?”

“That… Yeah, that sounds about right…”

“What the hell were you thinking, Chris?! This isn’t bringing home a puppy that’s a fucking human being you’re talking about!”

“I couldn’t just leave him, Phil!” Chris sucked in a quick breath and rubbed at his temple. “You don’t understand.”

There was half a beat of silence before Phil responded, voice a little gentler now, “What wouldn’t I understand?”

“Kids his age don’t get adopted. If they’re lucky, they hang out in the same foster home until they’re 18 and then good luck with life. If they’re not, they’re bounced around because no one wants to deal with older kids when they’ve got a bunch of little ones running around until they turn 18 and then, again, good luck with life.”

“Chris…”

“I know I did this all the wrong way, but Phil… I can’t just leave him here.”

When he heard the sigh, Chris knew he’d won. “We’re not done with this, Chris. I’m not happy about how this is all happening, but if you’re positive this is what you want, you know I’ll support it. What do I need to do to make this all happen?”

“I have to finish the paperwork and then make an appointment to sit through an orientation meeting you and I will need to go through. We can wait to schedule that after your exam next week. Then we hand in stuff they need for background checks, a home inspection, and then a court appearance to finalize everything.”

“Alright… You’re still coming home on Sunday? And you’ll be by yourself, right?”

“Jim can’t come live with us until we do the background checks, interviews, and home inspection, so yeah. He’ll be staying here in Iowa until at least then.” He flopped back against the pillows with a murmured, “I miss you… And I’m sorry I did this all wrong.”

“I miss you, too. I’m not gonna say it’s alright, Chrissy, but we’ll work with it. Let me take tomorrow to think things through and we’ll talk about it when you get back. I’m about to finish up cooking. I’ll see you Sunday.”

Even then, they still stayed on the phone for a while longer just catching up on their weeks. That mostly consisted of Phil chattering about his exam prep and throwing in little questions about Jim. Chris knew better than to assume he was completely in the clear; Phil’s anger was more of a slow burn and he’d probably be worked up to a full dressing down of Chris by the time Sunday rolled around.

He was right, really. When he touched back down in Boston that Sunday, Phil looked torn between thrilled to see him and simmering fury. The kiss he received in welcome was a little stiff, but Chris was too happy to be back home to really care. He rested his forehead against Phil’s and murmured, “Let’s get home so you can tear me a new one.”

It started in the car. “Really, what were you thinking? Did you even think at all or did you just promise this kid a home without even considering the consequences and responsibilities of being a parent?”

“I did consider it, I just didn’t care,” he mumbled back, eyes fixed on the crawling traffic headed into the heart of Boston.

“And did you maybe consider me in all this? That maybe with everything going on between my exam and getting ready for my residency, I wouldn’t be ready for being a parent?”

“I knew you’d understand why I had to and we’d figure it out.”

“And what if he has problems we can’t handle? You only saw a little snapshot of him over the course of six days, Chris. And you met him while he skipped an entire week of school to hang around with a guy almost three times his age.”

That caused him to pause. Chris definitely hadn’t considered that little tidbit. This is why he didn’t usually make decisions without Phil anymore. When he didn’t answer, Phil filled in the silence, “I know you want to give this kid a family, but we have to talk about whether we’re the family that’s going to be best for him. He won’t be helped by your good intentions alone, I hope you know that.”

“Yeah, I do. And hell… Maybe we’re not the family for him, but I couldn’t live with myself if we didn’t at least try.” He started gnawing on his thumbnail as he contemplated everything Phil said. There were a few points he really hadn’t thought about before he jumped in, and he was now wondering if he was making the right decision.

“Quit chewing your nails.”

“You stress me out and then tell me I can’t chew on my nails? I know you’re pissed, but do you have to torture me in retaliation?” When Phil cracked a bit of a smile, Chris let himself relax. They’d make this work.

Tagging: @pinkamour1588 @auduna-druitt @gracieminabox @thevalesofanduin @yourtropegirl @southernbellestatues @the-space-goddess-16 @randomlittleimp @thinkwritexpress-official @its-life-jim @insane-sociopath @shroom-boi @themaidofgevaudan-mja

#why does chril happen to unassuming people #chris pike #phil boyce #jim kirk #tia writes

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nozoroomie · 7 years

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Confessing Really Shouldn’t be this Difficult Chapter 1: Love Letter Part 1

Summary: Confession attempt number one: An incredibly crafted love letter, written with the help of her two best friends. The stationery is perfect, the letter is dropped off at just the right time, and everything seems to be in place. What could possibly go wrong?

Notes: Hello everyone! Welcome to the very first -official- chapter of this story! Thank you for being so patient and hanging on to just the prologue for so long- I promise I'll try to keep up with regular updates. If things go well, hopefully every 2-3 weeks a new chapter will be posted!

Small note: Every time "Line" is mentioned, it's referring to the instant messaging app!

And a special HUGE thank you to @banditchika , I'm love you, thank you so so much for all your help betaing this and helping me figure out better ways to word my sentences, and to @ Sessaware for also reading it over and giving me her input! Thank you both again so so much ;w;.I hope you guys enjoy this first chapter!

Thank you for reading, replying. commenting and rebloging! Every bit of feedback means a lot to me ;w;

Word count: 6,392

[A03]

“Hanayo?!”

Nico sighs and fiddles with her eraser at the end of the club table. A notebook lies open in front of her and a mechanical pencil rests next to it. Eli’s exclamation causes her to blush a bit. Is it always this embarrassing telling your best friends who you have a crush on?

“That’s right Elichi~” Nozomi says in a sing song voice. “Our beloved Nicocchi is in love with cute little Hanayo-chan!”

“Harasho!” Eli’s eyes sparkle with excitement and she looks at Nico with the brightest smile, “I was a bit worried when you asked for us to meet in the club room, but I’m glad it’s for something as wonderful as this.”

Nico smiles awkwardly. “Thanks, I guess.” She shrugs and plays with her eraser a bit more.

“Do you plan on telling her?” Eli asks.

A dumb question from Eli, really. She’s got writing supplies in front of her- she’s asked both of them to meet with her and given Eli the final details of the conversation her and Nozomi had the night before. The question isn’t if Nico plans on telling her, but more like how she plans on telling her.

“Actually, that’s sort of why you’re here. Both of you.” Nico points towards Nozomi, who flashes a small grin.

“Nicocchi, is this your way of asking us to help you?” She teases.

Eli’s face is ecstatic for a moment, the idea already warming up to her. She looks to Nico with a unwavering and determined smile. Nico blushes a bit, not sure if she can answer Nozomi when Eli’s looking at her like that.

“I’d love nothing more than to help you out.” She says with confidence, “I’ll do whatever I can to help get your feelings to reach Hanayo.”

Despite Eli’s reassurance, Nico can see the tiny tinge of pink on Eli’s cheeks, as if she were a little embarrassed by her choice of words. She wishes this were a conversation on Line and not in person, that way she wouldn’t have to attempt to hide her blush. Or have to hear the words “your feelings” and “Hanayo” voiced out loud by her friends. It’s not like she’s embarrassed or anything, but hearing the words spoken out loud from other people makes it feel more real. More set in stone. The idea of telling Hanayo she loves her is nerve wracking, but making a plan to act on those feelings makes her heart race in a way that can only be described as horrifying. Or exciting. There’s actually several ways Nico could describe this feeling, if she really thinks about it.

This might be hard to get used to.

“Yes okay! Yeah, I need a bit of help. Not like, a huge amount, I just-” she pauses, looking to the paper and gesturing to it with both hands. “I want to write her this love letter, full of my feelings, but I don’t even know how to begin it.”

“Oooh, you’re gunna tell her through love letter huh? Good choice, Nicocchi. Very direct and to the point.” Nozomi nods her head, approving of Nico’s idea.

“Right? I thought so too.” Nico crosses her arms and smirks, satisfied that her idea is a hit. “My problem here is I can’t write a good enough letter.”

“How many times have you tried to write it?” Eli inquires.

“About three,” Nico replies instantly. Her friends stare at each other before looking back to her and she sighs dejectedly. “ Okay, seven. But none of them sound right! I can’t form the right words at all. Saying ‘I like you, please go out with me,’ is way too flat and unexciting, but whenever I try to elaborate I just get distracted and end up with disasters like this.”

She flips a couple pages back in her notebook and hands it to Eli. She takes it and glances over one of the letters Nico’s written. Her cheeks puff a little as she tries -and fails- to stifle a small giggle. She covers her mouth with one hand and Nico rolls her eyes.

“It’s fine. That’s one of the first drafts so of course it’s bad.”

“I-it’s not that.” Eli tries to reassure, “The letter just sounds nothing like you at all. It’s like you’re putting on an act.”

“Eh?! Seriously?! I didn’t think it was that bad...” Nico grumbles and Eli flips the page, reading over the next letter.

“Hmm.. this ones better, but you’re right about sounding too flat. I’d say it’s more like you’re really… stiff?” She looks to Nozomi with a questioning gaze and holds the notebook out to her.

Nozomi takes it with both hands and scans the letter. She puts a thoughtful hand to her chin and hums, furrowing her brows and examining the characters on the page. Nico can already hear something ridiculous coming from Nozomi’s mouth.

“Actually, It’s just really easy to tell how nervous you are while writing this.”

Surprised, Nico sits up.

“Really?” She asks.

“Mhmm. It’s not even about penmanship really, it’s more like your wording fumbles around a lot, ya know?” She flips the page back to the earlier letter and reads it, smirking a little before pushing the notebook away. “That first one on the other hand? Yikes.”

There it is. Nico frowns. “Gee, thanks.”

“So, how do we help Nico improve her letter then?” Eli says, bringing the two of them back to the main question once again.

The three of them fall into silence, pondering it. Nico’s hands go back to fiddling with her eraser and Eli takes the notebook, scanning through the different letters Nico’s already written. Nozomi looks to the ceiling with a small frown as she considers different options. A phone vibrates and each of the girls check their pockets to determine who’s phone received the message.

Nico’s eyes light up a little when she notices an e-mail notification from Hanayo. She opens it with glee and Eli and Nozomi peer over curiously, wanting to know who the sender is. The contents are an image file and a caption that says “Don’t tell Maki-chan I sent this!!”

“Oho? What’s this Hanayo-chan is sending you?” Nozomi quips, leaning closer to get a better look.

“Isn’t it a bit rude to peek at messages that aren’t yours?” Nico jabs, but does nothing to move away from Nozomi or Eli’s curious gazes.

Nozomi laughs and says nothing to follow up. Nico taps on the thumbnail and the photo takes a moment before it loads. Nico snorts while Eli and Nozomi chuckle as a photo of a flustered Maki and beaming Rin take up the screen. Both have kitty whiskers drawn on in some sort of pen, and judging by the slight blur of the photo, Hanayo must have moved her camera out of the way fast so Maki didn’t notice. Nico’s phone vibrates and she exits from the photo to read the next message.

In quotations, the text reads “We’re a couple of cutie panthers!” followed by a dash and Rin’s name. Nico laughs loudly while the other two giggle with her. When she recovers from her laughter she opens up a blank reply and begins to type.

“Cute, but if I remember right, there’s three cutie panthers, ain’t there?”

Nico hits send with another laugh.

“Ahh, lunch with those three looks like it’s fun. We should all eat together sometime.” Nozomi comments with a grin.

“We can always do that tomorrow.” Eli suggests.

Another vibration comes from Nico’s phone and she ignores the other two as they begin making plans for tomorrow's lunch. The reply from Hanayo is only a photo this time, and Nico opens it curiously. When the picture loads her throat closes and her hold on the phone tightens. Hanayo’s holding a shy peace sign up with one hand. Her glasses are on and decorating either sides of her face are two whiskers that match Maki and Rin’s from the previous photo. There’s a slight tinge of pink to her cheeks, as well as a couple grains of rice lingering in the corner of her mouth.

Nico feels like she could die happy this very moment from the surprise photo. Nozomi and Eli have stopped talking and are looking at Nico with concern on their faces. Her phone vibrates again and Nico’s brought back to reality, backing away from the photo and reading the follow up text.

“Rin-chan had to take the photo, but we’re all here!! (´･ω･`)”

‘Thank you Rin.’ Nico thinks, tempted to raise her fist in the air.

“What was the last picture Hanayo sent?” asks Nozomi as she leans closer, wanting to see the image. Nico almost chucks the phone across the room in her surprise.

“I-It was Hanayo,” She says, going back to the picture to show the other two.

“Is this a sign you and I are being replaced by Rin and Hanayo for the next performance of Cutie Panther?” Eli jests, a warm smile on her face. “We can swap subunits for the day. Nico, you can be with Printemps while I join Lily White.”

Eli’s the only one who laughs at her joke. Nozomi and Nico make eye contact, knowing that if a switch like that actually happened, Eli would probably be in Printemps and Nico would join Lily White. They let Eli have her fun and Nozomi watches as Nico smiles fondly at the photo on her screen.

“Nicocchi really loves Hanayo-chan, doesn’t she.” It’s not said as a question, nor teasingly. It’s a genuine observation. Nico looks to her friend and notices the warm, fond smile she has. The kind Nozomi wears when Eli walks into the room.

“I-” She pauses, thinking over her own feelings. She knows talking with Nozomi last night cleared up her uncertain feelings, but they’re still so new and unfamiliar, she feels a little weird saying them outloud. “I really, really do.”

Nozomi and Eli settle back down in their chairs. Nozomi looks at Eli, silently communicating something that the blonde seems to understand perfectly. Her green eyed gaze looks back to Nico and her smile turns cheeky as she asks a question.

“Why?”

Flabbergasted, Nico almost glares at her.

“What the heck do you mean ‘why’?!” She almost throws her arms up. “I don’t know why I love Hanayo! It just sort of happened.”

Nozomi hums.

“Love has a weird way of doing that.” She says with a nod. “But what do you love about her?”

Nico hesitates. There’s a lot she could say for this question. It isn’t just a single thing, more like a compilation of little things.

“I love a lot of things about her,” She eventually begins, “I love her personality. Even if she is a little timid and doesn’t have a lot of confidence in herself some times, if she’s determined, she’ll do her best to succeed. She’s cute- not just her looks, but everything about her is cute. She’s great to talk with, she always makes sure you know she’s listening to you and she’s serious about idols. She may even rival me when it comes to how much we know about the business.”

Nico thinks about her junior and a small smile forms on her face. All the time spent with her, conversations they’ve shared, every little detail that brought them closer together and strengthened their friendship were also little things that helped Nico fall for her in the first place. She misses the gentle smiles both Eli and Nozomi stare at her with. She speaks in a soft tone as she continues.

“I love the way she laughs. The way her eyes light up when she see’s something she loves, or hears something good about muse. I love how she shouts “BIG NEWS!” when there’s been an update on Love Live, or anything in general really. I love all of these and I love all of her.”

Eli sniffles a bit and Nico looks over to see her wiping away a tear.

“Eh?! Are you crying?!” She’s a mixture of embarrassed and proud of the little detail and Eli doesn’t try to deny it.

“I-I don’t mean to! It’s just so sweet.” She sighs a bit and smiles, “It’s nice, seeing how happy loving her makes you.”

Nico almost buries her face into her hands to hide her embarrassment.

“It really is, isn’t it?” Nozomi giggles and looks at Eli, “and you wrote all of it down, right Elichi?”

Eli holds up a piece of paper Nico hadn’t noticed and winks.

“Every word.”

Nico almost screams.

“You wrote it all down?! What the hell?!” She stands up flustered, reaching over to Eli and grabbing the paper. She scans Eli’s point form notes of the confession and she feels her face heat up.

“It’s to help you, Nicocchi!” Nozomi laughs, “If you can say all of this outloud, you shouldn’t have a problem with putting it on paper, right?”

Nico swears she can hear a heavenly chorus. There’s a golden glow surrounding Nozomi, making her think nothing less of an angelic angel;maybe even a beautiful goddess like Muse's namesakes. Nico reaches over and grabs Nozomi’s hands into her own, looking her dead in the face and saying her thoughts proudly.

“You’re a genius and if I could, I’d kiss you right now.”

Nozomi’s eyes practically light up and Eli coughs. Nico laughs.

“Geeze Eli, I’m kidding. Besides, I should be kissing you since you wrote down all of this great content that just came out of my mouth. I won’t, because that’d be weird, but I’d kiss you if it wasn’t.”

Eli’s cheeks redden and Nozomi lets out a small, disappointed hum (Nico wants to assume it’s because she joked about kissing Eli instead of her, but she knows Nozomi’s probably disappointed there’s no kissing at all. ) She rereads everything Eli’s written down carefully before reaching into her bag and pulling out a piece of pink stationery. Lining the outsides of it is a pattern of a bunny silhouette and tiny pink hearts. It’s Nico’s favourite, and the perfect kind to use for something as important as this.

“Okay. I think I have the right idea.” Nico grabs her pencil and without any more hesitation, she begins to write on the dotted lines of the paper.

Nozomi and Eli busy themselves with light conversation, not wanting to distract Nico from her writing. Lunch is nearing its end and the girl is determined to finish this before heading back to class. She needs to finish it now. It has to be slipped into Hanayo’s shoe locker before practice starts. She’s glad that no matter the speed of her writing, it’s always perfectly legible- and quite adorable, if she’s truly honest. Practicing to have the cutest writing in grade 3 had perfect, lasting impressions.

By the time she reaches the end of the letter, she hesitates. It’s time for her to write her name. She swallows, hard, her pencil hovering above the bottom of the paper. This would seal the letters fate. She could leave it anonymous, leave Hanayo guessing who left the letter in her locker and have her ponder endlessly until she either figured it out or Nico decided enough was enough- but then what would be the point of the love letter? Nico didn’t want to make this anonymous. She wanted Hanayo to know her true feelings, and know that it’s her who has been nothing but blessed with falling in love with her.

That thought alone makes Nico sign the bottom of the paper, and for an added touch she doodles a small heart and a tiny “nico nico nii” next to it.

“Nico, I’m sorry but lunch is almost over,” Eli’s voice has a hint of worry to it, but Nico looks up with a triumphant smile.

“Guess that means I made the deadline~” She grins, holding the letter out to her. “Well, tell me what you think.”

Eli gingerly takes it from her, reading it. She nods at some parts and Nico watches as her smile grows wider. She hands the paper off to Nozomi when she’s finished reading and turns to Nico, giving her a wink and a thumbs up.

“It’s perfect!”

Nico silently pats herself on the back and Nozomi laughs.

“It is. It’s very much like Nicocchi too. I’d expect nothing less than this.” Nozomi hands the paper back to Nico and grins. “Looks like the hardest part is over.”

Nico sighs in relief.

“Thank god. Now all I have to do is put it in her locker before practice.”

Eli wants to add a thought in, but the bell signalling the end of lunch rings and her thoughts are pushed to the side. Nico quickly folds the letter up and puts it into a matching envelope. She doesn’t seal it as she slips it into her bag and she follows Nozomi and Eli as they stand from their chairs.

“Good luck with your letter, Nico.” Eli says with a smile.

“Thanks,” Nico returns the smile, “I’ll need it.”

The three of them laugh as they exit the club room and head towards their classrooms for the second half of the school day.

Fifteen minutes left in class and Nico’s having a small breakdown. Her English work means nothing right now, the most important moment of the day is approaching and Nico isn’t so sure she’s as prepared as she thought she was. She’s never felt so anxious before; not even before her very first live at Otonokizaka.

She reaches into her bag and pulls out the envelope. There’s no harm in being certain your love letter is perfect, right? And it wasn’t like she had the chance to proofread it herself during lunch- she was a little behind by the time she was able to begin writing it. Her eyes carefully scan the letter over and over again, double and triple checking that everything is written perfectly and that her mess of words actually got her feelings across. She fails to notice the girls around her packing up their books and getting ready to leave class. The teacher calls for everyones attention, but Nico ignores it as she checks over the letter one last time.

The end of day bell rings and Nico’s brought back to reality. Startled by the chime, Nico hurriedly gathers all her things. She quickly seals up the envelope, not giving it a second thought as she turns it around and scribbles the kanji for Hanayo’s name. She’s determined to get it downstairs and inside of Hanayo’s shoe locker, while still being on time to make it to the club room with the rest of the gang. She haphazardously throws all her books and loose papers into her school bag before making a mad dash out of the class.

On her way down the hall, she notices Eli give her a quick thumbs up. She returns it with a small smile as she excuses herself past a couple of girls, weaving her way by them and dashing down the stairs. She clutches the cute stationary in her hands like her life depends on it, not wanting to lose the important letter. The letter that contains her most heartfelt feelings towards her junior.

By the time Nico makes it to the bottom, her breathing is incredibly heavy. A few students look her way, worried about her current state, but she waves them off and tells them she’s fine. She moves as quickly as any winded girl can towards the entrance and the shoe lockers, heading straight for the row with Hanayo’s. She scans each number on the shoe compartments with careful eyes, not wanting to mistake the numbers.

“216…. 220... “ she mumbles to herself as she glances at the numbers. “Ah! 223!”

She swallows the nervous lump in her throat as she reaches the exact locker she needs to be at. With shaky hands, she pulls the door open carefully. Inside it, Hanayo’s outdoor shoes sit on the bottom level, neatly placed next to one another and not a single detail out of place. It’s very cute; very much like her. Nico shakes her head before placing it down on the pair of brown shoes before shutting the locker tightly. She glances up to the clock and sighs in relief when it reads only a few minutes have gone by since she made her mad dash down the stairs.

“Now.. to climb back up them.”

Nico groans as she makes her way back inside the building and towards the closest staircase.

“Great practice today, everybody!” Umi calls out to the group. “We’ve all been working really hard on our steps lately, so I think tomorrow we should all take the time to memorize the new lyrics. Does that work for everyone?”

A chorus of “Yes!” comes from the group. Umi smiles and dismisses everyone for the day. Nico immediately goes for her towel, picking it up and wiping the sweat off her brow. There’s a nudge from her right side and she glances to see Nozomi peeking at her with curious eyes. Nico frowns.

“What?” She asks in a flat tone.

“Oh nothing~. Just wondering how dropping off the ‘you know what’ went.” She gives Nico a tiny wink and Nico immediately leans in to shush her.

“S-shut up! It went fine! What else did you think would happen?!”

Nozomi laughs and shrugs.

“Dunno.” She turns her gaze over to their juniors to see Hanayo talking with Maki about today's practice. Nico’s gaze follows hers and her eyes soften. Her heart jumps in her chest and she reaches up, absentmindedly clenching it.

“Don’t worry Nicocchi.” Nozomi says quietly. “I’m sure your feelings will reach her through that letter. You worked hard on it during lunch time, after all.”

Nico nods. She wishes there’s more she could do, but it’s all up to her letter now. She hopes that maybe Hanayo will text her later after reading it, or will ask to meet up to give her a proper response. There’s so many ways this could go, the thought of having to wait to find out stresses Nico out just a bit more than the idea of confessing to the girl face to face.

“Hey Nicocchi,” Nozomi says in a whisper close to her ear. “If we hurry up, maybe we can watch Hanayo-chan get the letter from her locker.”

Nico’s head whips to the side, her pigtails smacking Nozomi in the face. The idea pieces itself together inside her brain and she shouts.

“WELL, WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR?!” She grabs Nozomi by the wrist and drags her to the door, calling back to their third comrade, “ELI, HURRY UP! YOU’RE WALKING WITH US, RIGHT?!”

Nozomi’s laughing as Nico pulls her through the door to the stairs and Eli sighs, saying goodbye to the girls and quickly following the two of them off the rooftop.

“Why exactly do we need to hurry?!” She asks, looking to Nozomi for an answer.

“Nicocchi wants to watch the magical moment happen.” Nozomi explains with a cheeky grin, “I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t curious as well.”

Nico’s face feels warm but she says nothing as they reach the club room. They grab their uniforms and it doesn’t take the three of them long to change out of their practice clothes and back into them. Nico doesn’t bother tying her ribbon up nicely as she hoists her bag over her shoulder and waits impatiently by the door.

Once the other two have finished, Nico leads the way down the halls and to the school’s entrance. She ignores the increasing butterflies that build up more and more in the pit of her stomach. Thanks to the adrenaline from practice, it feels like nothing more than a light tickle, but she knows the moment Hanayo opens that locker door she’ll be feeling the full force of her anxieties.

The three of them settle in the perfect spot in the aisle next to the one with Hanayo’s locker. Nico stands between both of her friends, biting her lip and pushing all the thoughts that seem too hopeful out of her mind. She reminds herself that it’s a love letter, Hanayo might not read it until she gets home and even then, there’s no telling what her reaction might be. Maybe Nico will be rejected. Maybe Hanayo won’t want to be anything more than friends. Maybe she’s already dating somebody else Nico doesn’t know of (a silly thought, she realizes, because Hanayo keeps no secrets from muse, and they both know being an idol and having a lover has its problems .)

Voices can be heard in the distance and Nico can feel both Nozomi and Eli shifting closer to her in their excitement. Eli’s hand is comfortingly resting on her shoulder while Nozomi has linked her arm with Nico’s. This is it. The moment of truth is right before their eyes. Nico swallows nervously.

Rin and Hanayo step into the school entrance, discussing the English homework they’d been given. The older girls are so quiet that not a breath can be heard from any of them. Rin’s voice becomes a bit distant as she heads to her locker all the way at the end of the row, near the exit. Nico shuts her eyes tightly and the sound of Hanayo opening the door to her own echos in her ears.

“Eh?” Hanayo startles. “H-huh.. Whats this..?!”

Nico’s lips form a thin line and her face heats up even more. She’s hyper aware of the way Nozomi and Eli tense up with her; how all three of them stand as still as possible. She can hear the way Hanayo turns over the envelope and how she reads out her own name to herself. Nico shuts her eyes tightly and waits as the moment reaches its peak: would Hanayo open the envelope now? Or later?

“R-Rin-chan!” Hanayo calls out immediately, “R-Rin-chan!!!”

“Kayo-chin?!” Rin shouts back, followed by fast approaching footsteps. “What’s up!? What’s wro- OH MY GOD WHAT IS THAT?!”

“I-I DON’T KNOW!” Hanayo cries, “IT’S ADDRESSED TO ME!”

“KAYO-CHIN, IS THAT A LOVE LETTER?!”

“I DON’T KNOW!”

It’s almost comical, the reactions the two of them have. If Nico weren’t so nervous, she’d be laughing about this. She feels the weight of Eli’s hand lift off her shoulder and her eyes glance to her, watching her cover her mouth and shake a little bit. She nudges Eli playfully and the girl only tries to stifle her laughs more.

“Geeze, you two are loud. What’s gotten you both so riled up?” A voice comes from the hall.

“MAKI-CHAN, IT’S BIG NEWS!” Rin exclaims, stealing the popular catchphrase from Hanayo, “KAYO-CHIN FOUND A LETTER IN HER LOCKER!”

“Eh?!” Maki’s voice seems surprised and the third years listen as her footsteps move closer to the other three.

Nico wishes she could see Hanayo’s expression right now.

“Koizumi Hanayo,” Maki reads the front of the envelope.”W-well, it’s certainly a letter for you alright.”

“Right?! This is amazing! Kayo-chin, you gotta open it!” Rin’s voice is bubbly and you can tell she’s got a slight bounce in her posture as she speaks.

“N-now?! B-but.. But I can’t.. it.. it wouldn’t be right to read it right now, would it?!”

“Rin, you can’t just ask Hanayo to read something personal right here in front of us.” Maki scolds.

Nico silently thanks Maki for stopping everyone from seeing the confession. It isn’t that it’s badly written- Nico poured her whole heart into it. It’s the highest quality love letter around. But, as great as it is, it's meant for one person’s eyes only (A silly thought, she realizes, when she remembers she had Eli and Nozomi proof read it.)

“Aww, but the flaps already opening up, see?”

‘Stupid cheap stationery.’ Nico almost grumbles.

“Eh?! Oh no! It is!” Hanayo sounds distressed. “I-I’ll just reseal it-”

Her voice cuts off and there’s an awkward silence from the other side of the shoe lockers. Nico glances to Eli and Nozomi in confusion and the both of them wear an expression that mirrors her own. Suddenly, Rin shouts so loudly that Nico’s positive all the clubs outside can hear her.

“IT’S EMPTY?!?!”

Nico’s eyes widen. Nozomi and Eli look at her bewildered as she starts quietly rummaging through her bag. She hands various textbooks and notebooks for both Eli and Nozomi to hold as she digs deeper into the bag. Sure enough, as she pulls out her English notebook, a corner of paper that matches the envelope the first years currently have peeks out at her. Nico tugs at it carefully and clutches it with a shaky hand as her face goes pale and her heart sinks. Staring her right in the face is her confession. The single most important detail of the love letter.

Nico wants to cry.

“Who would just put an empty envelope in your locker?!” Rin asks, her voice a mixture of offended and astonished.

“An idiot.” Maki says, and you can tell she wears an unhappy expression. “Don’t pay any mind to it Hanayo. This is a low prank.”

“You think it’s a prank?!” Rin’s horrified when she asks, not wanting to assume the worst like Maki has.

“W-well, what else could it be?!” Maki retorts. Nico can picture her arms are crossed and her fingers playing with her hair.

Hanayo hasn’t said anything in what feels like forever. Nico’s heart sinks imagining how hurt she must feel. There’s a nudge from the side Eli’s on and she glances to her taller friend. She points down the row and Nico turns just in time to see Nozomi walking out of their aisle and into the first years.

She almost yells.

“I was wondering what the commotion was~” Nozomi’s voice jumps in and Nico buries her face into her hands.

“Nozomi-chan!” Rin calls out to her. “Hey hey, come look at this!”

Eli and Nico listen as Nozomi’s footsteps get closer to the other girls.

“Hm? A love letter?!” She exclaims curiously.

“That’s what we thought too but it’s empty!!” Rin definitely sounds angry about this now, no thanks to Maki pointing out it could be a prank.

“Ahh… isn’t that something.” Nozomi responds.

“Uhm,” It’s the first time Hanayo’s spoken since they realized it was empty and Nico’s stomach tightens. “N-Nozomi-chan, you don’t… you don’t think this is a prank, do you?”

Her voice sounds hurt. Nico wants to punch herself in the face. Or smash it repeatedly into the lockers. How could she be so stupid and forget the actual letter? The cute envelope is nothing without the letter inside of it. This is a disaster.

“Mmm, well, it does seem that way doesn’t it?” Nozomi starts, “But Otonokizaka is full of sweet girls. I don’t think any of them would intentionally put an envelope in your locker without the letter.”

There’s a small silence from the other side.

“That’s true,” Hanayo says quietly. “Everyone I talk with here is so kind towards me.”

“Mhm. Plus, the school loves muse, don’t they?” Nozomi adds. “I think whoever gave this to you is just a little clumsy. They’re probably going to open their bag later and find the letter and feel pretty silly for forgetting to put it in the envelope.”

Nico can hear the smirk in Nozomi’s voice and she doesn’t know whether she should feel grateful or upset by the way she’s saving the situation.

Rin giggles a bit.

“That sounds kind of sad. Now I feel kinda bad for whoever gave Kayo-chin the empty envelope.”

“I’m not convinced.” Maki states, still unimpressed by the situation. “But it’s not really my concern. Hanayo, what do you think?”

There’s a moment of pause before the timid girl speaks.

“I think Nozomi-chan might be right.” She says, “I really don’t think anyone would do a prank like this. N-not here, anyway, but uhm,” She pauses a bit, as if thinking of what to say next. “W-well, I am hoping that they aren’t too sad about it later.”

Nico’s heart soars. This girl is just too good. Way too good. Even now, after her confession letter failed, she still hopes that whoever attempted to confess to her isn’t feeling down about failing. Nico wishes she could tell her right now. She wishes she could pull the courage to run into the other row and shout her feelings to the world, but as she gazes at the piece of paper clutched in her hand, she’s reminded of how she got into the situation in the first place. She holds the letter closer to her and almost sighs.

“Hey, didn’t you leave earlier with Nico-chan?” Rin suddenly says.

Nico tenses again.

“Ah, I did.” Nozomi replies with a laugh, “Nicocchi was so eager to leave, but thanks to that I forgot one of my books in class, so I came back to get it.”

‘Nice save, Nozomi.’ Nico thinks, with a mental thumbs up.

“Oh! Well, tell her and Eli-chan we said hi then!” Rin laughs, “Maki-chan, Kayo-chin, are we all ready to go?”

“Just let me grab my outdoor shoes.” Maki says.

The first years say goodbye to Nozomi, and Nico and Eli stay standing where they are until they hear the sounds of their footsteps walking out the entrance. Nico groans loudly and puts her head in her hands, the letter crumpling into her face as she accepts the fact that this confession is her biggest failure to date.

“What a mess.” She sighs. “I can’t believe I didn’t notice the letter wasn’t in the envelope.”

“How did that end up happening?” Eli asks in surprise. “Nozomi and I watched you fold and put it in the envelope at lunch!”

“I know! I know but-” Nico removes her hands from her face and looks up to the blonde, a tiny blush on her face. “I wanted to go over it one last time and the end of class to make sure it was absolutely perfect, and then class was dismissed and I sort of panicked and sealed the envelope and shoved my books into my bag.”

“Nicocchi needs to be a little careful with her notes then.” Nozomi says with a laugh as she returns, “Well, to be fair I may have seen this coming.”

Nico looks at Nozomi with squinted eyes.

“You KNEW it wouldn’t work!? And you let me embarrass myself?!” Nico exclaims, pushing herself onto her feet and glaring up at Nozomi.

“It was the cards, Nicocchi!” Nozomi laughs, “I may have done a reading for you before practice, and it wasn’t exactly the best outcome it could be but-”

“Wasn’t exactly?! Nozomi, I listened to Hanayo find an empty envelope from me in her locker! I think it’s far from the best outcome!” Nico’s voice is loud and Eli reaches out and pats Nico’s head reassuringly.

“There there Nico, it’s not like you won’t have other opportunities to tell Hanayo how you feel.” She reassures. “Nozomi, did your cards imply something else would happen if the letter failed?”

Nozomi smiles and shrugs. Nico feels a strong urge to crumple the letter in her hands into a small ball and throw it at the girl’s dimpled face. Eli sighs.

“Well, I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.” She rubs the back of her neck and adjusts her bag on her shoulder. “Nico, would you like to join us for parfaits?”

“Thanks, but I think I’m going to go home for the day.” The shorter girl grumbles, folding the letter up and slipping it back into her bag.

“Hey, look on the bright side of this,” Eli attempts to bring up her mood by throwing in a positive thought, “With the letter not working, you can always try something more direct.”

“Mhm!” Nozomi says, looping her arm with one of Nico’s and adding onto Eli’s point. “Maybe you can invite her over to your place and watch some of those Lives you’ve got on dvd. We all know how you and Hanayo-chan love them.”

“Yeah, maybe.”

“And maybe you’ll be able to read out the letter to her instea-” Nico cuts Nozomi off by elbowing her in the side. Nozomi laughs through the light pain as Nico walks away from her.

“Nozomi,” Eli warns and Nozomi’s laughter ends, replaced with a teasing smile. Eli turns her attention to Nico and steps forward to walk with her. “In all honestly though, it does give you a lot more time to work on confessing to her again. A lot of people fail to get their first confession across, and even I had my own struggles with confessing to Nozomi.

“Wait, really?” Nico’s a bit intrigued. She knew the story of how Eli confessed, but she hadn’t known Eli struggled to tell her girlfriend her feelings.

“Of course! It took me months before I could even ask Nozomi out, and I think I was finally able to tell her on the fourth attempt.”

Nozomi says a little “aw” as she catches up with the two of them, walking on Nico’s other side. Eli laughs as her cheeks tint red again and Nico’s attention goes from Eli to the open space in front of them. Knowing that even Eli had a tough time telling Nozomi her feelings gives her a bit of hope, and while Eli probably didn’t fail as badly with her confessions as Nico did today, she knows Eli has the right idea.

“Thanks Eli.” Nico says sincerely.

Eli smiles.

“So, does this mean you’re not giving up on telling Hanayo-chan you love her?” Nozomi asks.

Nico nods.

“Of course it does! It’d be dumb to give up in the first place, especially after today,” Nico starts, “If Eli didn’t give up on telling you her feelings, then there’s no way I can give up on telling Hanayo! I’ll tell her exactly how I feel no matter what!”

“Harasho!” Eli cheers, “That’s the spirit, Nico!”

“We’ll be rooting for you, Nicocchi! Do your best!” Nozomi adds.

Today really didn’t go as planned for Nico, but with nothing but determination and the promise of getting her feelings across to Hanayo, Nico’s confident the next attempt will be better.

#Nicopana #Nico Yazawa #Hanayo Koizumi #Nozomi Toujou #Eli Ayase #Myfic #@ Nico sorry #I hope you guys like this!! it took me a lot longer than i thought OTL #Ill do my best to give it regular updates tho!!

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