#i think the thing with gcs is that i genuinely have 0 idea when the acceptable time to dm someone and start an actual friendship is

[coldvampire]

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#i think the thing with gcs is that i genuinely have 0 idea when the acceptable time to dm someone and start an actual friendship is #like its a problem and i know i cant rely on someone else initiating first lmao so its like. just smth i have to try myself. #which is Fine but like! where is the threshold. how do i know if im not just bugging someone fgfhgjh #people tend to reply as like. a politeness thing ik that but WHAT is the difference screams #i also think im. interesting to myself but gfhgjh not really other people if that makes sense #like ive perfected the whole 'enjoy your own company' thing i very much do but my classes are p much done for the year which means #its going to be Me and My Thoughts until september #which is like. doable yes but i would like to have being alone with my thoughts as a choice instead of a default. i was also hoping id be #able to make friends in my classes but uh. haven't done super well with that. #i mean kinda? kind of yes? but i dont think its at the actual 'friend' label stage yet and i think if i keep initiating it like. borderline #doesnt count the same. im very worried about just inserting myself places. & then i think abt people i know in general and i think whats #happened there is pretty similar where (maybe incorrectly) i feel like im trying too much so i stop #presumedly if it was effective it wouldnt feel onesided like that but then again i could also just be reading into things too much #i dont miss living at college for a lot of reasons but there was a period when i didn't have to question my place & value in groups #like i do now and p much have done since my friends left campus and then i did later on #again not upset i just want to put my thoughts somewhere. #maybe ive just pigeonholed myself w the people i already know as a background fixture and bc its been so long idk if i can break out #of that role i play in group settings. ironic considering what my personality is like but i digress. #i also think acting like im not excited about new people is a Bad Idea bc apparently that just makes me seem evil as shit fgfhgj #oh christ do people think my enthusiasm is fake is that it bc if that's true i am Out of ideas lmao