#i still have panic attacks about leading squads ingame even though these people have been nothing but nice to me

[beukefarm]

Sorry for the blurry one lol, only noticed after I got home.

This is our premium fence gate for the chickens. The gate itself was dug out of the trash, the screws and the wood were found somewhere in the garden and we just used them.

The wire fence and the wooden poles were bought from a hardware store, we painted the wood last fall but will repaint this spring so that it'll last as long as possible.

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Since the fence and gate were build by us, there was next to no planning involved, we just went for it. Aside from the gate being tilted and the wire fence not being properly tensioned in places, it went quite well! Aka it does its job and is surprisingly stable, given that it just survived the entirety of eunice without getting a scratch.

We're still debating whether to modify the wagon (green structure in the corner) and have the chicks in there, or if we'll buy a shed and modify it for the chickens.

(Seriously, never buy premade chicken coops. Theyre incredibly expensive and so so tiny, if theres ever an event where you have to keep them inside, for example because of bird flu, they'll be glad to have some space to move around.

Just buy some kind of shed, put a chicken hatch, some wooden poles/sticks for roosting and some nests for the eggs and youre all gucci.)

In any case, the chickens are coming, and when they're here, we'll be prepared. I cant wait for the chicks to be stumbling and peeping about, so excited! My boyfriend is cute as fuck every time he talks about them, his eyes light up and he grabs me and we hug and ahhhhh we're alive! Life is worth living! I failed my math exam and I might fail chemistry and maybe I wont finish university but who gives a shit! Maybe I will!

I have friends and family, I have a drive and a passion and I'll be okay and you will be okay too, I promise! Maybe not today or tomorrow, but eventually it'll fall into place, and there will always be hard days and hard times but it doesnt matter because in the end there will always be chickens to hatch and vegetables to tend to and sunsets to watch and people to love and laugh with and we are all here! On this earth! Right now and never again!

And yeah the world could be going to shit, we're killing our planet and shit but do not let it destroy your spirit. Do what you can, do whatever you have the energy for, but other than that just live! I promise you, its fine, you're allowed to feel good and nice and also shitty and sad and if you need to talk my dms are always open, seriously, Im just some dude with a garden, you can talk to me about whatever and I will listen because right now I have the energy and I'm willing to give you some of it.

Breathe. You're alive. We're all alive. Listen to G.O.A.T. by Polyphia and feel the harmonies come together in your mind. Taste the wind outside. Stand in the rain and dont worry about getting wet. Get yourself a plant, and maybe you'll kill it, who cares, get a new one! Or just get a packet of seeds and grow some yourself on your windowsill, and when they're dead you can just plant new ones.

Talk to a friend! Dont have friends? Comment on peoples posts, engage in some communities, there are people out there who you can love and who love you back! You have a computer? Play some kind of online multiplayer, doesnt matter if its a shooter or whatever. Guess what, most gamers are just some dudes! Ive only met very few bigots, and hundreds of people who are just nice! (I recommend Planetside 2, the playerbase is a little older than in most shooters, think mid twenties and up to 40s or 50s, I even know one guy who's over 60. If you do decide to try it out and play on Cobalt, please message me with your name so I can add you and help you out! And if not, pretty much everyone there is willing to guide newbies along, and they'll stay friends with you as you progress, thats what it was like for me and everyone Ive met on there.)

What Im trying to say is: communities exist everywhere! Just engage with them! Shitty self esteem? Guess what, me too! It took me two whole years until I started talking to these people, and they were nothing but nice to me from the start.

Again, if you have any questions about starting to engaging with people and communities, start out with me! Message me, I'm here and will do what I can.

I'm sorry for derailing this post so much, I just feel incredibly grateful to be alive right now and I want to share this with others. Peace!

#garden #gardening #hobbygardening #nature #plants #greenhouse #chickens #chicken coop #husbandry #ramble #motivation #message me #dms open #if i can help just one person get out of their shell Im happy #yes its a struggle!! #i still have panic attacks about leading squads ingame even though these people have been nothing but nice to me #getting over anxiety is HARD #and its not linear #one step forward two steps back #but YOU CAN DO IT #AND I CAN DO IT TOO #were in this together #youre never alone #never ever