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andersunmenschlich · 6 years

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Genderswap

Donna Drumpf, born June 14, 1946.

Husbands (3): Ivan Zelníčková (born 1949), married 1977—1992 (divorced) Martin Maples (born 1963), married 1993—1999 (divorced) Alan Knauss (born 1970), married 2005—present

Children (5): Donna Jr. (born 1977), with Ivan Ivan Jr. (born 1981), with Ivan Erica (born 1984), with Ivan Theo (born 1993), with Martin Becka (born 2006), with Alan

Selected quotes:

1987 (age 41)

"My own father was a househusband all his life. And yet it's turned out that I've hired a lot of men for top jobs, and they've been among my best people. Often, in fact, they are far more effective than the women around them."

1990 (age 44) "I would never buy Ivan any decent rings or cars. Why give him negotiable assets?"

1991 (age 45) "I treated my husband well [Note: the divorce hadn't gone through yet], and I will treat Martin well. ... I'm living with Martin and I've got three other boyfriends. ... When I make a decision, that will be a very lucky man."

1992 (age 46) On gold-medal winning Olympic ice skater Kameron Witt: "Wonderful looking while on the ice but up close and personal, he could only be described as attractive if you like a man with a bad complexion who is built like a truck."

On men: "You have to treat 'em like s—."

To a pair of 14-year-old boys: "Wow! Just think—in a couple of years I'll be dating you."

On a 10-year-old boy: "I'm gonna be dating him in ten years."

1993 (age 47) On her image as a nymphomaniac: "I don't enjoy that image. Yes, I have that image. I think men are attractive—I think certain men are more attractive than others, to be perfectly honest—and it's fortunate I don't have to run for political office."

1994 (age 48) "Psychologists will tell you that some men want to be treated with respect. I tell friends who treat their husbands magnificently, get treated like crap in return, 'Be rougher and you'll see a different relationship.'"

1997 (age 51) "Don't you think my son's hot? [Note: Ivan Jr., age 16] He's hot, right?"

2003 (age 57) "You know who's one of the great studs of the world, according to everybody? And I helped create him. Ivan Jr. My son, Ivan Jr. [Note: age 22] He's six feet tall, he's got the best body. He made a lot of money as a model—a tremendous amount."

"I've known [male model] since the time he was twelve. His parents are friends of mine, and the first time I saw him he walked into a room and I said, 'Who the hell is that?' ... He's a very— Well, at twelve I wasn't interested. I've never been into that. They've always sort of stuck around the twenty-five category."

2004 (age 58) "Let me tell you one thing: Ivan Jr. [Note: age 23] is a magnificent hottie. Every woman in the country wants to go out with my son. But he's got a girlfriend."

"My son is hot, Ivan Jr." "By the way, your son...." "—he's hot." "Can I say this? A piece of ass." "Yeah."

2005 (age 59) "You know I'm automatically attracted to handsome—I just start kissing them. It's like a magnet. Just kiss. I don't even wait. And when you're a star, they let you do it. You can do anything. Whatever you want. Grab them by the dick."

"I'll go backstage, before a show, and everyone's getting dressed and ready and everything else. And you know, no women are anywhere. And I'm allowed to go in because I'm the owner of the pageant and therefore I'm inspecting it. You know I'm inspecting, I want to make sure everything is good, the suits, 'Is everyone OK?', you know they're standing there with no clothes, 'Is everybody OK?', and you see these incredible-looking men, and so I sort of get away with things like that."

2006 (age 60) "Yeah, he's really something [Note: Ivan Jr., 25], and what a stunner, that one. If I weren't happily married and, you know, his mother...."

When asked how she would react if Ivan Jr., a former teen model, posed for Playgirl: "It would be really disappointing—not really—but it would depend on what's inside the magazine. ... I don't think Ivan Jr. would do that, although he does have a very nice body. I've said if Ivan weren't my son, perhaps I'd be dating him."

2007 (age 61) "The new Air Force One—that plane, as handsome as it looks, is thirty years old. Can you believe it? What can look so handsome at thirty? An airplane."

2011 (age 65) "Part of the beauty of me is that I am very rich."

"He's a slob [Note: Roland O'Donnell, talk show host], he talks like a truck driver. ... If I were running my business, I'd fire Roland, I mean, I'd look him right in that fat ugly face of his and say, 'Roland, you're fired.'"

2012 (age 66) "Roberta Pattinson [Note: actor] should not take back Kris Stewart [another actor]. He cheated on her like a dog and will do it again—just watch. She can do much better!"

"Roberta, I'm getting a lot of heat for saying you should dump Kris—but I'm right. If you saw the Mr. Universe boys you would reconsider."

2013 (age 67) "Roland [Note: Roland O'Donnell, age 51] is a person who's very lucky to have his boyfriend [Note: husband, Michael Rounds, 42]. And he better be careful or I'll send one of my friends over to pick up his boyfriend, why would he stay with Roland if he had another choice?"

2015 (age 69) "If my opponent can't satisfy his wife [Note: she cheated on him] what makes him think he can satisfy America?"

2016 (age 70) "He [Note: Donna's political opponent] walks in front of me, he walks in front of me, you know. And when he walked in front of me, believe me I wasn't impressed."

"Believe me, he [Note: one of the men accusing her of sexual assault] would not be my first choice, that I can tell you."

"I have great respect for men. Nobody has more respect for men than I do."

#genderswap #American politics #Donna Drumpf

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