#i rmber a friend asked how i was doing yesterday and i replied with

[noxtivagus]

ffxiv's so healing

#🌙.rambles #joke i lowkey have an toxic relationship w it #bcs it gives me so much comfort but then also stresses me out sm 🫠 #'ffxiv's so healing' - i say while listening to scream #i rmber a friend asked how i was doing yesterday and i replied with #'SLOWLY GOING INSANE BUT IT'S BEEN GREAT 🤩' #which is actually very true 😭😭 #it is a bit concerning that i can't help but relate to lahabrea a lot #not specifically his own experiences but i think the intensity of emotion #bcs holy fuck imagine #the despair the anger he would've felt #falling for someone only to later realize that. (maybe) they never even loved you back #they just wanted to use you #imagine the loneliness he would've felt to hide the truth away. to be so hated and scorned by the person you protected #he regretted love as a husband; what wld become of him then as a father? #imagine the emptiness he would feel if #maybe w the sundering #if eric dies. #after athena he would't succumb to love again but imagine if he finds it again instead as a father; only to lose it again #i love how the lyrics of the song reflects sm in all of the charas #it's so painful. it's harsh. it's dark #i fucking love it #i don't know how that wld feel but. uh. i'm empathetic if that says smth #& my emotions have always been intense #being angry n broken feels better than emptiness for me #yeah ngl there's smth wrong w my head probably #sometimes i'm normal but i also really have a kind of crazy side ig #....scorpio sun capricorn moon? 🫠 #💀 basically tho typically these emotions sre a bit more balanced. i guess you cld say rn that #rn i'm leaning more towards the vibes of hell ( rather than heaven ). fallen angels. red. lucilius > lucifer.