#i really did do my faves dirty on this one but I speaketh the truth

[turneverybodyintopuppets]

Sides ranked by how good with kids they are because I made a child laugh at walgreens today and it's basically the only thing that's keeping me going

6. Remus

- Oh they all love his fancy clothes and funny expressions, even if he does smell a little... odd

- Buys them plastic party kazoos and spends an hour teaching them the opening to his theme (da-da-da-da-DA) just to piss Roman off

- Unfortunately, he can't be around for too long before he starts making Remus-typical jokes. They fly over kids' heads but worry the adults, so Janus has to yoink him out of there with the cane.

5. Logan

- Fumbles with understanding these Very Emotional creatures and doesn't have much wide-appeal among young kids

- However, absolutely changes the lives of those few quite kids with niche interests they're dying to chat about. He has limitless time and patience when indulging curiosity

- Always talks to children like they're smart and capable (i.e. never uses a baby voice), which they all come to appreciate

4. Janus

- Not particularly fond of kids because they are Messy and Loud-- "Please contain your sprog, Karen"

- Unfortunately, the bolder ones are quite fond of him. "Mister, is that your real face?" "Why've you got gloves?" "Can I try the hat??"

- Does foam-sword fights with Roman for their amusement. Claims it's "undignified" but secretly enjoys the opportunity to be Dramatic

3. Patton

- 100% attuned to everyone's emotional needs

- Armed with snacks and bandaids at all times. They all want sandwiches cut "the way Patton makes it"

- Only not higher up on the list bc he's not novel to them—sorta blurs into kids' conception of reliable constancy and home (which is exactly what Patton "Dad" Sanders would want)

2. Virgil

- He'd be awkward with young children at first "oh god it's so small I'm gonna break it" but they take a shine to him. Unlike those of us who've seen him on a skateboard, these kids genuinely believe Virgil Sanders is cool

- Protective Big Brother energy is off the charts

- Kids learn that the hoodie = Warm and Soft. The line for piggy-back rides is at least 6 children long at all times

1. Roman

- Disney Prince!! Straight out of a fairytale!! Big sword, fancy sash, & pretty emblem thingies!!

- Big, funny expressions—just like a cartoon. Kids love expressive people, and Roman is nothing if not expressive

- He'd regale them with tales of his grand exploits, bc Roman's brand of creativity is quite literally made for this. "I wanna be just like you when I grow up!" Roman would melt-

#i really did do my faves dirty on this one but I speaketh the truth #Roman with kids is an ADORABLE concept #i know I don’t specify the context in which they’re watching over these hypothetical kids but shhhh #it varies ok #for the most part they’re babysitters #sanders sides #remus sanders #ts remus #logan sanders #ts logan #janus sanders #ts janus #patton sanders #ts patton #virgil sanders #ts virigl #roman sanders #ts roman #roman love #prinxiety