#i need praise all the time and im always tured and the slightest bit of affection makes me want to sob

[shunukitrash]

Ah, yes, time for a late night vent

#vent #i hate crowded places #today i went to the boardwalk with mom and my stepdad and i couldn't even enjoy it #because i kept noticing all the couples #all the happy young friend groups #im only 20 #an i feel like my youth has been completely wasted and theres nothing left for me #im 20 and i feel lonely in crowds because everyone has someone and im just a stranger #im 20 and i dont know whats wrong with my brain #i need praise all the time and im always tured and the slightest bit of affection makes me want to sob #theres something seriously wrong with me #i miss my friends #highschool was hell but at least we were together all the time #im so scared to bother them over the phone #and hanging out is hard cause im the only one who doesnt jave a liscence #amd now one of my friends lives all the way across the country #i also hold grudges for too long #im still mad about shit that happened 4-6 years ago #i hate thinking im over something and it pops back up #i hate being like this