#i love that she is complicated and morally gray and emotionally constipated just like every other wizard on wildemount

[hello-eeveev]

I imagine Essek had this moment of recognition with Astrid and Eadwulf while they were all in the Blooming Grove, similar to how Kima was like “sword lesbian recognize sword lesbian” with Yasha. They all looked at each other and went “neutral evil wizard with complicated feelings for Caleb and a weird relationship to their homeland recognize neutral evil wizard with complicated feelings for Caleb and a weird relationship to their homeland,” and they didn’t need to discuss it any further. Their relationship is not affectionate at all, but it is not hostile. It can’t even really be called professional. It’s just there, and it’s a relationship of few words, but enough understanding.

And Astrid. Astrid Beck, my most beloved. Her relationship with Caleb hurts, if she’s being honest. But so does her relationship with Eadwulf, even though it’s a different kind of hurt. She is just full of trauma and I don’t think there is anything in her life that isn’t filtered through it, so everything is just kinda painful.

But I imagine that after taking on the role of Archmage, Astrid feeds Essek just enough intel to steer clear of the Assembly's ire, but they don't talk at all beyond that. So like, they don't really know anything about each other, but they are still offering up a lot of trust. It creates this weird intimacy of knowing someone's greatest secrets (Astrid, about Essek) and having seen them at their lowest point (Essek, about Astrid) and sharing a weakness (both of them, for Caleb). But at the same time, there is a massive divide between them that, for a myriad of reasons, will never ever be bridged. They both know this, so they won't even try.

They do not have a relationship, but there is still so much to it, you feel me?

#if this is rambly it's because it was mostly lifted straight from my fic planning doc #so this was character info for myself first but i also wanted to share #bc i love astrid so mucchhhh #i love that she is complicated and morally gray and emotionally constipated just like every other wizard on wildemount #i'm just obsessed with this dynamic #and the inherent intensity of it bc hello it's them #critical role #essek thelyss #astrid beck #eadwulf grieve #eve talks #late night wizard posting