#i literally was on my best behaviour i was so calm and respectful saying... dont manage me

[silver-wield]

I dont understand why aerith only abused cloud and not the other characters, whats her motive? have you ever been abused or at least know someone who was? can you also tell me more about aerith’s character? she’s the one i know the least so i would appreciate the enlightenment

Following on from this

Did I say Aerith was abusive or that her actions were? Because Aerith's not an abusive character, but she does things that harm others because of certain reasons. Also, some of my earlier comments about chapter 8 and Aerith's behaviour are before I learned more about her pov motivation, so it's only taken from Cloud's pov. Which I have no regrets about. I prefer Cloud over Aerith.

Cloud just got the brunt of things because he spent longer with her. The way Aerith assumes she knows everyone and that her way is best does harm others because it shows she doesn't respect their opinions or value them as individuals who behave differently to how she expects. She doesn't really know everyone, she just thinks she does because she knows info she shouldn't. But, vague information from the lifestream or wherever she got it doesn't form a complete picture. It also doesn't replace actual relationship development. She's trying to run before she can crawl.

From Aerith's pov, she's doing good. She's not intentionally abusive to people. She's poorly socialised, bossy and been treated as special since she was a child. She's got no frame of reference in how to have healthy relationships with people. She had no friends as a kid and none later. Kyrie was a bad influence on her and not a true friend. She's never had a true friend and only Zack loved her besides her moms. Her dad died when she was a baby, so she doesn't remember him. She's basically a spoiled child expecting to get what she wants and then can't accept the truth when it doesn't match her expectations.

From the others povs she's withholding vital information, treating them like they can't do things without her input and acting like she's the leader, despite just meeting everyone. Since what she's asking them to help with is saving the planet and Avalanche are self proclaimed protectors, and Cloud and Tifa are Sephiroth's enemies they won't refuse. Red agrees because his race are more attuned to the planet anyway. It's part of who he is to help protect it.

It's a matter of emotional maturity. Tifa has the most of the younger characters and currently, Aerith wavers between her OG immaturity and her meta knowledge which gives her unearned wisdom, but she doesn't know how to apply that wisdom, so just comes off bossy.

Cloud doesn't know how to deal with conflict except to beat it senseless and doesn't know how to deal with women, except to be a passive dummy when most of them manhandle him. He also doesn't want anything to do with any woman romantically except Tifa, which is why he's always touching her and flirting.

Cloud knows that Tifa reacts badly when people she cares about are in danger, so he's trying to keep her calm. Since Aerith interrupts immediately after this we don't know what the conclusion of this would be if Cloud was allowed to continue speaking. Most likely, he'd suggest getting back to sector 7, too, because he already agreed with her they need to go when he woke her up before the Abzu battle. Tifa respects Cloud's opinion and military background, so that's why she's asking his advice.

By jumping in and alarming Tifa, Aerith has actually caused harm because it's put her in an anxious state, which we see escalating throughout the sewers.

Cloud kept Tifa calm and focused. Aerith has done the opposite. Because she thinks she knows best.

Having put Tifa in a more anxious state than she was earlier, Aerith now withholds information, which breaks trust between them.

This harms Tifa. She now has to worry about Aerith's true motives as well as sector 7. Tifa avoids confronting her suspicions because she's non-confrontational by nature. And Aerith could be innocent and Tifa's imagining everything.

It's not a healthy state of mind Aerith's encouraged.

Aerith has observed how Tifa is with Cloud and deliberately baits her, which causes harm to Tifa.

Aerith's motives aren't the focus here and I've explained from her pov she's helping, but from Tifa's pov, this girl she just met is trying to take the guy she's liked since she was 13.

The look on Aerith's face is playful, but Tifa's isn't. She looks unhappy. With Aerith. She thought they were becoming friends and then Aerith does this.

And as I said, it's worth noting this is different to the JP scene where Tifa is just worried and Aerith's teasing her to try and improve her mood. So, this scene was deliberately played up to highlight a negative behaviour from Aerith and provoke Tifa.

Aerith never explains why Barret can't do things. She just orders everyone around and expects them to listen, but she doesn't listen to them.

Even when asked, she doesn't say anything, and this is harming the entire party. Just because we know the plot doesn't make what she's doing okay. She knows about Sephiroth and doesn't warn anyone beforehand. So, later when Cloud and Tifa see him in the drum, they're not prepared.

This adds to everyone's suspicion about Aerith.

Suspicious Aerith

Suspicious Aerith 2

See, the thing is, if someone is suspicious then you can't trust them. And trust is a big factor in relationships. By making herself untrustworthy by lying and acting in a suspicious way, Aerith isn't fulfilling one of the basic cornerstones of a good relationship.

Four cornerstones of a strong relationship: Tifa

Four cornerstones of a strong relationship: Cloud

Respect

Aerith shows she doesn't respect Tifa's opinion about Cloud and dismisses her valid concerns. She redirects to ask about her instead, which Tifa brushes off. The girls don't have a lot of conversation in the drum, which shows they're not that close or that Tifa doesn't trust her enough to chat after the sewers. Tifa has chosen to remain focused.

From Aerith's pov, ignoring Cloud shows she's not interested in him, but Tifa is and is worried and wanted reassurance, which Aerith didn't provide.

Honesty

During their first interaction, Aerith lies to Cloud several times, and keeps lying throughout the game, either by omission or outright lying.

Aerith lies about knowing the Turks, while knowing how dangerous they are.

A person who lies isn't someone who can be trusted. This is why Cloud and Tifa are suspicious of Aerith, even up to the end battle where Sephiroth speaks from behind Aerith and Cloud gives her a suspicious look. Because Aerith's own behaviour combines with Sephiroth's motives. If Aerith hadn't made herself suspicious then Sephiroth wouldn't be as effective here.

Trust

Cloud shakes his head here. He knows Aerith doesn't trust them because she keeps lying. See how things connect? Aerith lies, it makes her untrustworthy and affects people's relationships with her in a negative way.

Cloud agrees to go fetch Aerith because he knows what Shinra are like, isn't an asshole, feels obligated and Elmyra literally orders him to "bring her back to me" after he gets permission to go. Which is why it's listed as operation: save Aerith in the story summary.

Friendship

And as for friendship, well both Barret and Tifa call Aerith "our friend" but Cloud says "a friend" to mayor Domino and then later when he says "our friend" to the guy outside the battle sim, all of them are framed. But, when he said "a friend" to mayor Domino only Cloud was framed. This suggests that to Cloud Aerith isn't a friend.

So, Aerith fails to satisfy the basic cornerstones of a good relationship with others. That's not saying she's a bad person or has bad motives, but currently she's not in good standing.

As for her behaviour in sector 5 with Cloud, from her pov, her actions weren't bad either.

The protagonist Cloud, who played the hero like Zack, is the unforgettable protagonist of FFVII. The beginning of the story, he seems cool, but in reality he is not good with communication and feels less than he is. “I wanted to be in SOLIDER, but I couldn’t.” Because he wanted to hide himself (because of Zack's death and the Nibelheim incident), the Jenova cells that were planted in him in Nibelheim formed a personality that were based on Zack’s memories. In CC, Cloud was weak but he was influenced by Zack. In the beginning of the story, Cloud takes on the title of “Zack”. Aerith was shocked when she meets Cloud due to him mirroring Zack in behavior.

That's a rough translation, but the fact is Aerith saw Zack in Cloud from their first meeting and that's why she chased after him in chapter 2. This is the CC ultimania, BTW, and it's getting a reprint, so the info in it is canon to Remake because the devs advised players to read more compilation materials. This is one of them.

Her motives aren't bad, but we can't only see things from her pov. Other people matter too. Cloud wasn't happy with her throughout chapter 8 because of her behaviour. Her motives don't factor into his feelings because she never reveals why she's doing it. Even if she did explain, it doesn't excuse her ignoring how Cloud feels.

Because Aerith is using Cloud as a prop for Zack it does harm her relationship with him and others. In the chapter 9 Corneo's dungeon conversation we can see Tifa notices Cloud isn't happy with Aerith suggesting they stay and get info out of Corneo. His reaction colors her opinion of Aerith later when he wakes her in the sewers. That's why she asks how he knows her because he doesn't seem to be acting like they're friends as Aerith claimed.

And Aerith isn't treating Cloud like he's Cloud through a lot of chapter 8 and 9 and only pulls back when they meet up with Tifa.

So much zerith

And by deluding herself, Aerith gets to be with Zack again, which she alludes to in her resolution when she says she's grateful to Cloud and he made her more happy than he knows. Because she got to pretend she spent one more day with Zack. But, then she shatters her own delusion by telling Cloud that any potential feelings he might have in the future are fake. Because Cloud's persona is fake. He's not Zack.

In the OG, Aerith's GS date alludes to Cloud's fake persona too, but she says she wants to meet the real him. She doesn't say that here. She ignores Cloud again, and by doing so answers his question in that he doesn't get a say because she's not listening to him. Because she doesn't care.

And when the party reaches her in chapter 16, it's even more clear that Aerith has set aside her delusions in favour of building better relationships with the other characters. She's more invested in Red, Tifa and Barret than she is Cloud.

However, it's an uphill struggle with Tifa because of the previous behaviour she exhibited.

See how things circle back? Aerith made herself suspicious, Tifa loses trust in her and that affects their relationship later so that Tifa is less likely to confide in her. She's being Tifa Lockhart. And we know Tifa can open up with those she really trusts because she does with Cloud. Because they have a strong set of cornerstones to their relationship.

So, from Aerith's pov, it's not abuse because she has some very good reasons for treating Cloud and others the way she does. She's aware of some future events and knows about Sephiroth and she also deluded herself into thinking Cloud was Zack.

But, because they don't know her motives it does actually harm the relationships between her and them. Even Red seems to mistrust her because he knows some of what she was up to with the whispers, as stated during the opening of chapter 17 where he explains the whispers purpose and looks right at Aerith when he mentions people tampering with fate.

But, this is what character development is for. Aerith needs to grow as a person and not just in power. So, I expect a lot of her more childish traits like being overly bossy and not having any listening skills will be addressed in future parts.

#final fantasy 7 remake #ff7r #ffviir #final fantasy 7r #final fantasy viir #Character analysis #Aerith Gainsborough

[night-rhea]

MC House Challenge! ❤️💛💙💚

This is  @kyril-hphm​ ‘s amazing idea!  I wanted to do it daays days ago but... Some shit happens everyday right? And ı also wanted to try different style to draw hairs, ım sure one day ım gonna figure it out. (ı realized ı made their eyes color wrong...damn.)

So here ı am with my girls!

İts turn out a bit long, so ım putting this button here. İf you want to know girls better, just click it!

Gryffindor Night ❤️

She is LOUD. You think Slytherin Night is loud enough? Just wait to hear this Gryffindor's voice. Bill use her in the mornings when a few Gryffindor couldn’t wake up in the time. Also need a silent moment in the common room? Just ask her, ım pretty sure even Ravenclaw Tower can hear her "Shut the fuck up!"

Also yes, this Night is not shy about swearing. But she is mostly creating absurd swear sentences. "For the fuck sake Merula, ı dont give a fuck about your fucking power GO AWAY AND FUCK SOMEBODY ELSES EAR WİTH ALL YOUR SHİT" As you can guess, she is bff with Merula.

İf you cant hear her voice, there is 2 possible place she can be. Quidditch Pitch and detention.

She is playing as a Chaser and this is the one of the only way to shut her up. Like Rath, she let her skills speak for her.  Even its just a practise, Night is always so focussed in game, sometimes her looks scaring Charlie away. She really loves Quidditch, this adrenaline. Oh and she loves the victory of course. That makes her second Skye. Poor poor Orion..

For the detention part, she is in there more than she is in  her own dorm room. Unlike Slytherin Night, she is a fan of Tonks and Tulip's pranks and loves to mess with grumpy Filch. Also detention is not that bad. With Jae here, there is always a way to have fun. Charlie always says that one day Night and Jae's closeness will blow their towers up. Everyone is just waiting for this day. Even McG.

Lets talk about her relationship with Jacob. They were really close when they are little. Because of their last name's bad popularity (ım planning to explain this later), they didnt have any friend other than each other. When Jacob left home, she lost not just her brother but also her best friend too. (Lucky for her, in Hogwarts there will be Rowan)

She dyed her hair red right before coming Hogwarts. To show everyone how she is gonna be Gryffindor just like her brother. Also while everyone talking shit about Jacob, Night refused to believe her precious brother can do something bad like that.

giggles Wanna gossip about her? Like her best friend ,she has a big fat crush on Bill. You should see how she blush when Bill compliment her. She cant help it he is "too fucking cool"!

Night and Rowan spend so many nights to talking and fangirling about him. But after realizing that he see her as a sibling,  not a lover, she was a little heartbroken and tried to date some other guys who is like him. She ended up single of course, because no one can be perfect like him.

İf you want chaos, Gryffindor Night is your girl!

Hufflepuff Night 💛

My favorite thing about this Night is her smile. İts so warm and full of love..I should admit she is the purest Night but she is too good for her own. This is the why she is entire Hufflepuff's little sister. Especially Diego's. But nor she or me can decide that he fancy her or just love her as a little sister. you know, because its Diego...

Not so suprisingly ,She loves to take care of her friends, just like Orj Night, but this girl is doing it more serious. She is the mom friend of their group. She is gonna make sure you eat all your meal and drink enough water. And if you didnt, well you need to deal with her.  Also Night will remind you to take right books for your class if you two have same class. "Did you study for todays quiz? Oh why didnt you?! Come on ı can tutor you! We only got 11 minutes but nevermind that!" Dont worry she got you. Aand One more thing, she has best shoulder to cry. Im not kidding, she will hug you until you feel better and ı can guarentee you that her kind hug and angelic voice will help you calm down.

İn the other hand, Huff Night is not good at handling her own bad emotions. Her anxiety level is a little higher than other Night's.

She is not a "so different" person. İts her words not mine. Being Rhea makes her a little bit special of course but not in the good way. She is just average girl with a unlucky family, thats all. She loves her loved ones more than she loves herself, and always wish that she can be powerfull just to protect them. But sadly she dont believe she can, she is not like Merula. Not that brave or confident . Or Tonks. Not that talented. Or Penny. Not that pretty and popüler. Aah ah, this pure girl has a lot in her mind(or should ı say her heart?) but so shy to talk about them. Damn girl, go and talk about this to Rowan (While you still can...Can you imagine how she break after she cant save her best friend..?)

Enough, İts time to tell you happy thing about her life!   She was very suprised and happy (but mostly suprised) when Merula ask Night to be her date. They started to date in fourth year. (Everyone thanked Night for making Merula more calm and tolerable. Night said that Merula dont need to be tolerated)  Well they have their up and downs of course. Before Rakepick betray them, fifth year was pretty good (Night cried for her girlfriend when she learn about Merula's parent) but unfortunate thing  that  happened in buried vault, made their hearts to apart. Night still love her deeply and wishes  she was powerfull enough to save her from Rakepick so they would still next to each other now.(I know ı said "happy thing". Thats why ı wont tell you that after Rowan's death Night thinks maybe its best if Merula far from her. No ı wont tell you that)

But dont worry about her! She is gonna smile no matter what because her smile can make someone else smile too! İf you love tea and cookie, please let her know your favorite cookie. Her mom sending her delicious Turkish tea and she will be happy to share with you!

Ravenclaw Night 💙

After Slytherin Night, Ravenclaw Night is my second favorite. I really love her general mood.

As you can see, she is the only Prefect Night. And there is simple reason for that, she is perfectionist. She didnt became Prefect because she wants to help others, she became one to make sure everything is right. All other Night helped their Rowan to be Prefect but Ravenclaw Night dont believe that other Ravenclaw's will listen Rowan. She herself is more suited, just like Chester. (She really respect Chester) But dont get me wrong, Night dont underestimated Rowan. She just believe Prefect should be more serious and Rowan's heart is so pure for that.

And unlike Hufflepuff Night, this girl have a lot faith in herself. When Night is doing something, she knows it will be perfect because she wont stop untill its perfect.  

I should warn you about her, she loves to complain. "Damn ı have to do all work. Why cant you do anything  right on your own? İt was easy, even for you. Go and do something else ım gonna finish this one. No stop wait dont do anything. Just. Go."

Just like this,she can easily tell "rude" words. Even if she didnt trying to be rude.  She is just saying whats true! İts not her fault that truth is more bitter than lies. And sorry but truth has to be told. Even if someones heart can get hurt. Lies can make everything worse than a little heartbreak. İts like a poison that tastes good and late effecting. They should thank her for not poisoning them.

Her friends? She dont have a lot. Because of her rude attitude, a lot of people dont get near her often. Fine by her. She dont want "extras" anyways. Her little group of friends is enough for her. Also she have Rowan, right? Rowan is her true soulmate. This two girls can spent hours in library and this is their favorite hang out. Honestly all Night need is Rowan and some book, she can live without any other people, thanks. But she can admit Talbott and Badea are pretty good too. Especially Talbott. He is her second best friend, if she has to give it a number. (This two became friends a little too fast. They have so many similarities. Biggest one is "Fuck Peoples" motto. They even have a ugly t-shirt that saying that. Andre died when he saw it for the first time.)

I think her mom Selina is responsible for Night's reckless behaviour. She was already angry to Jacob for leaving her behind and being ignored by her only parent makes her..ıdk, like that? She tried so hard to make Selina to notice her daughter is still with her.Tried to make her portrait with her pastel pencils, tried to brush her long hair and dressed like a princess, tried to write " I love you" in her mirror.  But little Night's little heart couldnt understand that pain of losing her son (just like how she lose her husband.) When she came to Hogwarts, she give up about her mom." İf a mother dont need to worry about her own child, then ı dont need to worry about anyone else too." But of course, she is not that heartless like she likes to think.

I think you can imagine that other students calls her names. Like "freak" or "selfish" or "egoist". She mostly just ignore them (because she dont believe they are worth to explain why she is not these name) and pretend like nothing had happened, Talbott and Rowan know she actually care and wants to be more "good". More "likeable". She is just making everyone uncomfortable when she walks in and she know it. But there is nothing she can do. İts in her blood. She is just like her mother.

I feel like ı talk too much about bad thing. İts time to tell moments when Ravenclaw Night smile. She dont have a normally smiley face but of course she smile. And you know what? İts mostly because of her boyfriend. This girl has a big soft spot for Barnaby. She literally melt every time he talk. İn the beggining she thinks he is just some stupid Slytherin and not worth lose any time but after being friends (which is a miracle) she can punch you in the face if you call him stupid. (Dont test about how hard she can punch.)

How the heck this boys heart can be this beautiful? Like, boy your parents nothing but shit to you how did you turn into biggest and cutest puppy in the world? And again, how did he love her? I mean, look at Night and look at Barnaby. They are so different and he can be with literally every witch in schooli and yet he is with Night. She dont know what she did to be this lucky but she is not planning to let him go. Just watch her.

(And ı dont know if she will notice you if you dont talk with her. She will talk with you politely at first, dont worry. Just try to not say something about her being bad prefect or something bad about her friends or boyfriend, you will be fine.)

Slytherin Night 💚

It's finally Original Night's turn to shine. How about starting with why she is most masculine looking Night?

İt was because of Selina. After Jacob left, he was the only thing Selina talk about. She talked about how she misses him playing violin, his eyes that he took from her husband, his gentle voice. Unlike Ravenclaw Night, this didnt make our Night angry. İt made her jealous. She decided that if she wants to make her mom happy, she should remind her Jacob. Maybe if she can do this, her mom would miss him less and smile more to Night. So she asked Selina to cut her hair like Jacob's.

While she growing, she tried to act like Jacob. She learned violin, wore his old clothes. She even answered when Selina called her "Jacob". And it worked. Selina started to smile more, started to talking with her more, even she cook  special meals sometimes. Menu was always full with Jacob's favorites but it doesnt matter to Night. Her mom did it for her!

İn Hogwarts, she learned that she is nothing like Jacob. Hello,  dissappointment. She was too loud, too energetic, too friendly. She learned that she can't be Jacob for her mom. At first, it  freaked her out.

Thats why she didnt want to go Celestial Ball. Didnt want to wear dress and made her hair longer. (She did want. She just didnt let herself.) And when Andre and Rowan keep asking about,, Night finally tell them everything. You know what happened? Her two angel friends talked about hours how they love her in the way she is, how she dont need to be Jacob because its her own life and she deserved to be happy.

After a lot of hugs and crying, Night wore the dress that match her name, kept her hair short.

I made this too longer ı guess ( ı was planning not to tell about Slytherin Night...) but ı always wanted to explain why ı love her. İm proud of that she can make her peace with herself. Selina is still problem for her, and still will be problem in the future too but right now Night is free from the cage she made it herself. Of course sometimes her anxiety hit her and made her feel like she is all wrong but its not a something a few late night flying cant solve.

Am ı gonna make it longer because ı wanna talk about Night and Talbott relationship? No, there will be another time for that.

She is always open for more friends. Wanna play quidditch or make/ listen music or drink tea or cook something? Night will be happy to join you in literally everything.

#night rhea #hphm #hphm mc #hogwarts mystery #mc house challenge #Jacobs sibling

[art-of-you]

10 ways to start loving yourself the way you deserve to be loved Part 1

What is self-love?

It means very simply taking care of your 'self'! It is taking care of yourself so that you feel balanced and fulfilled from within, without needing love from without.

Self love is something you feel. You know when you are not loving yourself, that you feel drained and tired, and out of balance. Also feelings of anger and frustration is signalling that something is out of balance. It might be that you are afraid of speaking your truth and saying how you feel, so you keep it to yourself and suppress the emotion, which will result in pressure felt from within that might try to find its outlet in other ways. So your emotions come and go unpredictably and in numerous negative ways and you might doubt your decisions and procrastinate, because of it.

There are many indicators for the need of more self loving care-taking. Because when we love ourselves we are capable of truly loving others. We have more responsibility as one person than we think.

Self Love means loving and truly honouring everything that makes us be who we are!  It is appreciating all that we have been given, our gifts, our talents, our ideas, our feelings everything that makes us uniquely us.

Loving yourself means, respecting your body! It is the most clever and loving mechanism there for you! It works in your favour! Thank it and use it wisely! Give back to it, so it can function for you at its best. What are doing to it? What are you feeding it?

How much are you listening to your body? We tend to get ignorant to the signals our body is constantly telling us. It is literally communicating with us all the time.  

How much are you taking care of your thoughts? Cause thoughts affect your emotions and if they are let loose, your emotions will let loose and do whatever they want, and usually when this happens it is not good. It can cause anxiety, anger, doubt, guilt, all kinds of negative emotions. And what do emotions do? They lead us to behave in certain ways,  'reacting' to things instead of confidently acting proactively on things with love and care and kindness.

Self Love means taking control over your self and deciding over what you put into your body physically and what you choose to see, hear and later think. Most happens subconsciously

Here are 10 ways to love yourself:

(No one else but you can love yourself like this -It has truly lasting effects)

1. Watch and Notice your Thoughts - How are you responding to your own thoughts? Are you directing them to the negative or positive side? What is the quality of them? Is your thought process generally negative? - WE CHOSE OUR THOUGHTS - Becoming aware of them will help to strengthen our ability to take control of them and steer to the positive side.

If you notice that a lot of anxiety is coming from your thoughts it probably means that they are doing their own thing. And thoughts tend to pull towards the negative if we dont watch them.

2. Learn the difference between just Thoughts and Intuition - Since a lot of uncontrolled thinking is lead to feelings of fear, which keep us from being and doing what we truly actually wanted to do, it is  important practice to strengthen the ability to differentiate between understanding a guided message to us through our Intuition, or a thought that we have filtered through our own uniquely created paradigm set up, now automatically connected to uncomfortable emotions spiralling wildly through our wildest imagination. 85% of our fears do not even come true and are simply our brain doing its very clever work  of memorising all that has once affected us. Any similarities to past events, the brain might pick up on, that have previously hurt or scared us, will automatically be registered and very quickly realised into further feelings of fear as a way of 'protecting us against further pain'.

3. Realise that pain is your friend - Like explained above, the body (the physical side of us) tries to run away from pain. However, pain is a very vital part of living and a very vital part of loving yourself. If for example we let our fears overcome us and control us, we would not face certain situations that would be important for our growth, personal growth or business growth, whichever challenge it might be. On the other side of pain or uncomfort is the reward. It is the same like going to work out in the gym or whatever sports you do, the satisfaction comes after working out hard and going against tiredness or feelings of weakness and doing it anyways. When you have an exam or when you have to perform, fear always hits just before. But how good will you feel if you didn't go on stage, didn't perform, didn't push a bit harder to see results cause of fear? Even the pain of seperation or doing the right thing, feels uncomfortable but there is this knowing it will be good for us if we go through it. Don't be scared of pain. Its inevitable, suffering is a choice.

4. Go outside your comfort zones - What is your comfort? For me clearly I can be lazy and I can procrastinate very easily. I tend to comfort eat, I used to be shy and still am sometimes. So going outside my comfort zone would mean to be more proactive at speaking with people, not fearing to contact people. Sometimes its a matter of 'speaking up'. Not giving in to comfort food too much, pushing myself to go to the gym even when Im tired,etc. We all have our comfort zones. So when it comes to self love, it is many times not only about doing what you want to do right now or what you feel most comfortable in right now, such as instant gratification comfort situations. They can be more damaging than pushing through to go against your comfort zones as it will showresults for the long run.  Ask yourself, how will this help me for the long run?

5. Reactivce vs Proactive -  When it comes to our day to day, how many times do you 'react' to situations? If it is reacting to a friend, your mum, your boss a passerby? We don't realise how much of our actions are on auopilot. Simply reacting and not slowing down to think about the repercussions this may have. Not just on the relationshipiwith them or how they might feel, but on ourselves. Every reactive behaviour gets stored and will come back to us in some form or shape.  Sometimes we benefit from simply taking our time to respond to an email that might enrage us or a telephone call that made us sad, a comment that frustrated us. If we let ourselves calm down before reacting and come from a calm place, usually that place comes from a place of love. Its always important to act from a place of love, as we never know what the other person migght be going through right now and the more proactive actions we do, the more will come back to us. Tip: Let a minimum of 3 hours pass before answering, if it is a big thing, take 3 days. Just check yourself and see if you would respond from a hurt place or from a place trying to see both parts.

These are the first 5 steps to really help you to love yourself on a lasting and profound way. The other 5 steps will come in part 2.

Loving yourself takes many shapes, whatever makes you happy is important, be playful, be creative,think outside the box. Routine can become quite stale after some time so mix it up. Go out for a walk, spend time with your furry friends, meet up with your friends, go on a trip, take a bath put some music on, take a class, whatever is your type of fun, just do it.

Have a great week!

Best wishes,

Love and Light,

Maria